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You're A True Gem. Saturday April 11, 2015

In literature, there is a certain archetype described as the "fatally flawed". Anna Karenina, for example, possessed character flaws that ultimately led to her downfall. Hamlet was one. Achilles was another. The Hare (of tortoise fame) was another.

Depression is often characterized by its ability to foreground our flaws and too many times, through its murky veil, have I viewed myself as fatally flawed.

But what exactly is a character flaw?

I think it is something embedded in our nature – usually acquired during our formative years – that can cause problems for us and the people around us. Essentially, a flaw is something that makes us imperfect as a human.

In gemology, flaws are called "inclusions". These tiny pieces of entrapped foreign debris can serve as valuable clues to help unravel the secrets of a gem's past. Not only can inclusions reveal the place of the jewel's formation, they are also hallmarks of the processes which gave rise to the precious stones.

Flaws? They are clearly not seen as such by everyone. A certain type of "inclusion" in a sapphire, known as "silk", actually adds to the value of the jewel. As the sapphire tries to push the impurities out over time, the process creates tiny, beautiful, light reflecting streaks.

Pink, blue or canary coloured diamonds are far more valuable than their perfect white cousins, and yet it is their flaws – imperfections in their formation – that gave them their colour.

Learning this about gem stones has led me to my current mantra. I have typed it on a "sticky" on my laptop screen and I urge you to say it to yourself now:

"Having flaws and trying the best I can makes me more lovable, more beautiful and more rare than if I was perfect".

A Moodscope member.

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R Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 6:05am

This post, so short and simple, really moved me. I think it was something I needed to hear. Procrastination and hesitation seem to be my flaws, and it's a daily battle to get past them and do what needs done. But it is easier to think of myself as a sapphire, wrestling with silk, than a flawed person. Thank you for this post.

Paul Greenwood Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 6:35am

Informative as well as inspired. Thank you.

Paul Greenwood Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 6:36am

Informative as well as inspired. Thank you.

Hopeful One Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 7:33am

Hi Anna- a very 'to the point' post and well put too.What a lovely thought to turn one's perceived 'flaws' to something positive and making one different and unique but being appreciated by the self at the same time.Thank you.

crafty wee midden Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 7:58am

Indeed....."There is a crack in everything....that's how the light gets in" ( Leonard Cohen, who sees me through a great deal of assorted difficult things) Alex

The Entertrainer Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 8:36am

Perfect... simply perfect.
Thank you, Anna!

Anonymous Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 9:25am

Really enjoyed this read thanks Anna. And I think there can be even greater satisfaction in the results of our endeavours knowing just how much further we've had to travel to get there X

Sarah M Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 9:35am

Thanks Anna - that's a very empowering blog. A good example of turning words like 'flaw' into something much better. S

eliz piercey Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 11:03am

beautiful! xxxxx

Eliz Piercey Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 11:05am

Anna were you the person who wrote about something and everyone wanted to know which book you got it from? Danielle LaPorte? xx

Di Murphey Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 11:11am

Dearest Anna ~
While many friends & family smile knowingly (of what?) I plod on with humor and passion while stating that I am "perfectly imperfect" and must stand as a banner of courage (of which I have more of than common sense). I love my flaws. Great blog & I thank you for the centering it does for my heart.

acousticwilli Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 1:15pm

Hey Anna, you're my kind of 'sticky'!

What you beautifully imply, but just stop short of stating explicitly, is the idea of 'acceptance'.

I've suffered depression all my adult life and in my more peaceful moments I've come to recognise the value of acceptance. Acceptance of life, of others, of self. Acceptance of the things we wish we could change, but can't.

It's a flawed world and we are flawed beings. The more we fight against this realisation, the more damage we do to ourselves. This is not to deny our responsibility to ourselves and others to seek change for the better (whatever our conscience tells us that means) where appropriate and possible, and although I'm not particularly religious I love this serenity prayer which we can whisper to whatever entity within might fulfil the God function:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Anonymous Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 6:26pm

Thank you for all your kind, encouraging words. Eliz, that wasn't me. Acoustic, I love the serenity prayer too. Glad my blog has been enjoyed. It's made me want to write some more :-) Anna

Anonymous Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 6:55pm

Yes as with Acoustic Willi,and also not particularly religious,I had the serenity prayer words in mind today after reading Anna's blog. It was really helpful to me a few weeks when I'd got into a cycle of ruminating and negative thoughts concerning a certain issue in my life(something I am prone to do!). I was lying in bed after a particularly bad night and it suddenly popped into my mind and I didnt know how I knew it. So I looked back over recent moodscope blogs and it had appeared earlier that week in a blog by Frankie I think it was.Great to know the wisdom of moodscope can be brought back to a cluttered and unquiet mind when you're not necessarily expecting it to!! And it certainly did bring a strange(but welcome!)feeling of calm and quiet within me regarding the issue in question. Jen x

Julia Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 7:28pm

A GP once said to me years ago that he would be fatally flawed if he had done something I admitted to him that I had done! I have never forgotten this. He was lovely but I felt and still feel he was a bit naive. Thank you Anna for reminding me of this. It amuses me now but I was very confused hearing this at the time.

Anonymous Sat, Apr 11th 2015 @ 9:47pm

Hi Jen
Yes it was me who quoted the Serenity Prayer; glad it helped!

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