8

May


Have you noticed how often we are told what to do?  When we explain something in our lives, whether it be a good thing or a problem, we are often met with responses like “You should…” and an explanation of what that person thinks would be good and effective. This is great if you have asked for support or advice, or if it is from a good friend who understands you (I get lots of support on here and it’s none of you I’m referring to). It’s not so great if you are simply having general conversation. It makes the difference between somebody who hears what you are saying and somebody who hears words and is formulating their response as you speak.  The former takes no energy, the latter depletes it.   
 
Yesterday, I knew I would encounter a lady who does something like this and much more.  (I had no choice; she was donating something for a collection I’m doing, and it was very kind of her.)  She asked me three questions and each time answered them for me. I had a little conversation with myself in my head as, for my own sanity, I counselled myself through it.  It was a funny situation and yet exhausting. Today I still feel it - 53 minutes of being spoken at. Like walking through a wind tunnel fighting to get out. 
 
I can’t complain (I just have!), she was being kind at the root. But I need to protect myself from this kind of behaviour. The right thing to do would have been to sweep in, announce I was in a terrible rush, and sweep away, but it makes me uncomfortable being somebody I’m not. And she is a force of nature. A tornado. I felt squashed against a wall as I tried to survive. 
 
Does this type of thing bring down your mental health? Overload you? Give you resentment? I suspect I need a new tool specifically for building resilience for these situations. My youngest daughter has a ring shaped like a little snake and over the last year, to help her deal with a toxic ‘friend’ at school, she would roll it around her finger to give herself just a little distance and remind her that the person is a snake. Maybe I need something like this. Ear defenders. Or maybe a bodyguard. Oh yes, a bodyguard.
 
Food for thought. 
 
Love from

The room above the gara

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


Comments

Comments are viewable only by members. Register Now to participate in the discussion.

Already have an account? Login to leave a comment.

There are 45 comments so far.


What is Moodscope?

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.

Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. Join now.

Blog Archive

Disclaimer

Posts and comments on the Moodscope blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Moodscope makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this blog or found by following any of the links.

Moodscope will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.