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WLC = Whinge, Learn, Change. Monday April 27, 2015

This morning, I gave the sofa some feedback. I told it, in no uncertain terms, what an idiot it was for bumping into me. It was personal. The sofa was out to get me...

...except it wasn't. I was the idiot.

Do you ever find yourself giving a good talking to inanimate objects? As humans, we tend to anthropomorphise 'stuff' and then assign malicious intent to it! Why do we do that? (Or am I the only one?)

My justification? I was tired. But I'm more tired of this stupid sub-routine in my mind. Time to change.

Over the years, I've had the privilege of working alongside four consultancies who shared the same learning model. The WLC model:

Win, Learn, Change.

The Win, Learn, Change model is used for gathering feedback and commitment to action at the close of an intervention. What was the win for you, what did you learn, what would you like to change? I'd like to share the Lex Revised Version:

Whinge, Learn, Change.

I don't know about you, but I meet a lot of people who Whinge!! Well, they say, "It takes one to know one!"

I can't remember a single time when I found a whinge helpful, can you? But a whinge can become our friend, when it becomes a catalyst for change. This morning, when I caught myself whinging about the evil sofa trying to kill me, I remember my positive intention to write this blog. So here's how Whinge, Learn, Change could work for you...

Whinge, Learn, Change.

Whenever you catch yourself whinging or even just having a murmur of discontent (let alone a Winter of it!) let it be a wake-up call for an opportunity to learn and change. The Whinge is the trigger to choose a better response. Heed its call. Then ask yourself:

"What can I Learn from this?"

Of course, I learned that the sofa wasn't evil, that I was being stupid, I wasn't getting enough sleep, and I needed a cup-of-tea to help the morning wake-up ritual. What's next?

"So what do I need to Change?"

Take responsibility for my own movement around the house and be more careful. Develop enhanced acuity. Laugh at myself when I'm feeling ratty. Get some sleep! Have a cup-of-tea first (isn't that what Stephen Covey means by "First Things First"?)

I hope I've brought a smile to your lips as you read this. We all whinge (trust me, you do too). Now you have a simple strategy for turning your whinge into an asset for change. And, if you've got deep enough rapport with your friends, you've got a great tool for transforming their thinking if they ever think your ear looks like a garbage container worthy as a receptacle for their interminable whinging!

A Moodscope member.

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Hopeful One Mon, Apr 27th 2015 @ 7:03am

Hi Lex- thanks for that interesting take.A whinge seems to me to be a half way house between a completely negative reaction like 'I am an idiot'( you might not have noticed that the amgdala did sent a short burst of harmful cortisol there ) and completely positive 'I do bump into things but that does not make me an idiot as many people occasionally bump into things' Me ? I would just shrug my shoulders and say'stuff happens' and ,as long as my injury does not need any intervention, move on. Besides I have given myself the right to moan without prejudice in my own personal 'Bill of Rights! so its OK.

DawnC.Ritchie Mon, Apr 27th 2015 @ 8:24am

Hahaha, you made me laugh with your final paragraph Lexi in turning an ear hole into a bin. You could also wear big fluffy boot slippers to protect your precious feet and legs. They're lovely and warm :D have a fab day won't you.

Mary Blackhurst Hill Mon, Apr 27th 2015 @ 8:31am

Nice one Lex! I find it's sometimes helpful to ride the whinge hard into utterly rediculous exhaustion! Have a great day!

Julia Mon, Apr 27th 2015 @ 9:57am

I just wrote something Lex and lost the message. Not my fault of course! You made me smile Lex and I shall attemot to laugh at myself today instead of blaming inanimate objects like my phone.

Anonymous Mon, Apr 27th 2015 @ 10:57am

tee heeee you are funny, Lex. I have whinged with a friend who has whinged at me -- it's a sort of pact we have with each other as long as we don't overdo it. (You made me laugh too, Mary.) These whinges have actually helped but i find that afterwards i vow to cut way back on them. And slowly this is happening. As for self-abuse when accidentally hurting oneself or dropping something or whatever it is -- that is just not on. Used to do that until i realized how deeply the body registers the abuse. Thanks Lex! susan xx

Anonymous Mon, Apr 27th 2015 @ 11:07am

I'm on her train ^^^ ;-) love ratg x.

Anonymous Mon, Apr 27th 2015 @ 11:19am

I think you are completely wrong here Lex. The sofa is entirely to blame. Always. If we just keep that to the front of our heads we can fight through another pure, sanctimonious day! Love from the room above the garage x. (Hello cheek, please meet tongue.)

The Entertrainer Mon, Apr 27th 2015 @ 11:30am

ha ha ha ha.... maybe we should have different days when at least one day a week it really is the sofa's fault?!

Sofa so good... xx

valerie Mon, Apr 27th 2015 @ 12:16pm

I remember a friend from South Africa telling me that as a young man of 20 or so he became very discontented and unhappy with his lot.One day,fed-up with his constant moaning and self-pity,his father dragged him out for a walk.He marched him into the local cemetary,and studied the headstones,eventually stopping at one.It was the grave of a young man of similar age.

"Right,I've had a bellyful of hearing how unfair your life is,you stay here and tell this young guy how **** everything is-I'm sure he'd feel sorry for you".
He said he sometimes after all these years goes into a graveyard when he feels sorry for himself.Of course,it is getting much easier to find graves of contemporaries!

Anonymous Mon, Apr 27th 2015 @ 3:57pm

:-) love ratg

Anonymous Mon, Apr 27th 2015 @ 4:02pm

Ok Lex, dare I own up?

I now talk to inanimate objects nicely , particularly when they are playing up - I ask them politely to co-operative and explain why I need them.
I find it works, maybe because I am not getting tense and angry and swearing;
if I am calm and speaking gently, then I am more likely to get them to work ..

Have I finally gone mad? (!) It certainly seems to work ...

Anonymous Mon, Apr 27th 2015 @ 4:04pm

P.S. Should be "I ask them politely to cooperate ..."

Frankie (feeling rather silly now ...)

The Entertrainer Mon, Apr 27th 2015 @ 8:19pm

Dearest Frankie, I'm wondering if you're on a whole other level here? You might just be the Dr Dollittle of technology and inanimate objects? After all, they all vibrate at some level.
"Mad" you say? "Inspired!" I say.
I'm off to seduce the computer that died...

Anonymous Mon, Apr 27th 2015 @ 8:51pm

What an intriguing picture! Good luck
I must remember that: "I'm not mad, I'm inspired"!

Julia Tue, Apr 28th 2015 @ 8:18am

Yes Frankie you are an inspiration to us all. I'm goingt to try talking to inanimate objects from now on. xxx

Anonymous Tue, Apr 28th 2015 @ 10:32am

Frankie, can you make up t-shirts with that slogan? I'd like one and I'll buy Julia one for her Christmas :-)
Lex....seducing the computer...I have a picture of you with rose between teeth having slung it into a back bend mid tango. Nice work :-) Did it dance?
Love from the room above the garage x.

joanna Tue, Apr 28th 2015 @ 12:10pm

Loved Lex.s whinging and i too whinge to inanimate objects.. or even my dog, i get a response from her ..usually a paw over her ears!! i find talking to trees rather enlightening!! but have learned not to do it as i walk through our busy park!!..i guess its just a way to unload without offending anyone ..or thing!! do trees listen?
in their own way i suppose they do!!!

Julia Tue, Apr 28th 2015 @ 12:16pm

Thank you ratg. for my Christmas present. It is the best present I have never or ever had. "I am not mad, I am inspired". Perhaps Moodscope could do a print run or whatever run it is making some t shirts. Caroline... ratg has just made a very good suggestion. You could have your Moodscope logo at the bottom right hand corner at the front of the t shirt. Think I'm mad and inspired.

Caroline Ashcroft Tue, Apr 28th 2015 @ 10:26pm

Like that idea and have been thinking about T-shirts...

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