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Wisdom received from Moodscopers. Part 3. Saturday November 14, 2015

Following my previous blog "Wisdom received from Moodscopers Part 2" (3 November 2015) here is the final part of what I have learnt since joining Moodscope.

I have learnt...

11. To let go of the outcome and to let it be...

12. To reflect on my responses to any given situation and ask myself whether I am (or anyone one else is) reacting as a child or as an adult.

13. That "All things pass, and this too shall pass."

14. That it is enjoying the journey which really matters, not arriving at the destination.

15. That the journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.

16. That tears are often tears of healing.

17. That the only thing I can control is my own response to any given situation.

18. That happy coincidence is really a benign universe working for our good.

I can now change "I have learnt..." to "Today I choose (to accept)..."

Thank-you again, Moodscope.

Wishing everyone peace of mind and heart.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Sally Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 7:01am

Frankie, that is such a nice phrase : wishing everyone peace of mind and heart ( and sums up neatly what we are probably all looking for in life and from life?) heartfelt thanks.

Frankie Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 8:35am

Thank-you Sally Frankie

Bearofliddlebrain Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 8:29am

Brilliant, Frankie, thank you. I agree and love all of them.

I am shocked this morning to hear of the devastating killings in France overnight. Heart goes out to everyone concerned. Keep safe TG. Keep safe all...wee never know what's gong to happen these days...anywhere... :(

I was a busy Bear yesterday and missed out on the music blog by Dawn. Just love s much music but
Dancing Queen has to be one of my favourites...and Mister Blue Sky, ELO!! Yay!
Norman...hope you are dog well into week three :) chuffed you popped by and what a great gift your wife gave you...the turntables!!
Dawn...great blog yesterday, thankees!

Peaceful day wished to all.
Bear x

Frankie Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 8:39am

Thank-you Bear Yes, horrendous news ... lost for words ... Me too, Dancing Queen! Frankie x

Anonymous Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 9:07am

Thank you Frankie for this. I love number 14. Enjoying the journey..It really helps to have this perspective and not be constantly thinking about what life might be like if only we weren't depressed, bi polar etc etc. This is our life now and looking back over the years,that was our life. I am no longer going to strive for something I think will be better. How do I know that if I slept well every night for example, my life would improve in the way I think it will. I just do not know so I might as well enjoy what I have got now. It's real not imagined. Great stuff Frankie.
Terrible terrible news from Paris. We must challenge the fear that such attacks instil in us. Rule by fear will never work long term.

Frankie Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 9:34am

Thank-you (jul?) For me the hardest part of dealing with my chronic medical condition has been coming to terms with no longer being the fit, active woman I was, and the dawning realisation that you can never go back. The sooner we accept the reality of the present, the sooner we can begin to enjoy each day's blessings and so find peace of mind and heart. For me this has been a tough lesson to learn, supported in particular by my lovely physiotherapist (NHS). And well said about challenging the fear of terrorist attacks ... Frankie

Anonymous Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 10:57am

yes it's me Jul. Sorry I meant to add this. Yes it can't be easy accepting such a big change in our physical abilities. That is probably harder then accepting mental health issues. Not easy for you Frankie. But perhaps easier than it was? xx

Frankie Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 11:08am

Oh yes, definitely easier than it was. It's all about living in the present and looking for the gifts each day brings ... Frankie xx

susan Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 12:21pm

Frankie, i would like to think that there is the possibility of improvement in your chronic condition? Our bodies are constantly changing and healing, and living in the present provides the terrain for that to happen. I admire you very much. xx

Frankie Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 2:49pm

Thank-you susan for your kind words. You are so right; living in the present is key, along with looking at ourselves with love. I am much better these days and do have more energy than I have had for a long time. My physiotherapist is cautiously optimistic ... we shall see! Frankie

LillyPet Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 9:26am

Dear Frankie,
I had a really bad dream about work in the night. I have woken up feeling dreadfull and worrying about my future and the stress.

I will remember that this feeling, that I can't cope with the stress will pass today.
That I cant control the situations and people, horrible as they're feeling at this moment. That even though I dont feel that I can cope with it at this moment. (A bit of a tall order any way as I've just woken up!)
I will go back to feeling determined, strong resillient and confident. I will not do my moodscope scores now. I will do them in an hour. They may or may not be high or average for me, if not there is a reason. It will still be in the range that is normal for me.
I will lose attachment to the outcome of these stressful situations and allow the process of the universe to take it's natural course. I am naturally optimistic, so it will be fine and so will I. Even if things seem bad, I know from experience that they wont remain so and often turn out to be better in the long run.
I normally do have faith in my adult self to be proud of me and just be.
There must be room for a cheeky little ratg reframe here! So let me see... I used to be scared by stress, but now I know that I am resillient and bounce back much quicker than I used to.
I will feel better after a lovely honey and lemon detox tea and some breakfast. Plus I have my playlist from yesterday to look forward to!

Most of all, like Sally and Bear, thankyou from the bottom of my heart and mind for wishing me peace Frankie. That is what I need at this moment and what I will create for myself today.
Wishing the same to you all. LPxx

Frankie Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 10:43am

Cheering you on from the sidelines, dear Lillypet - very well said! Sounds as if you are already in a better place, since, to quote dear Les, self awareness is all. Honey and lemon, wonderful! Frankie

LillyPet Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 9:31am

Omg, yes Youve reminded me of the news, I m a bit wary of looking, I hope it's not the hostages.. :( heartfelt sympathy to the loved ones of those lost.

Adrian Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 10:12am

Fantastic list Frankie - well done. I know how hard it is to do and it is so appreciated.
We will return to it often.
A x

Frankie Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 10:38am

Thanks Adrian. Oh yes, MUCH easier said than done!!! Frankie x

The Gardener Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 11:01am

Oh what a grim day here in France. We live near the Mt St Michel - potential religious target - and for people 'funneled' on to this rock, 2 million a year - nobody talks about it, but we know that behind the scenes measures have been taken (if measures can ever be taken against suicide bombers). I did not know till this morning, because I watched 'Children in Need' the whole evening. Frankie's list is great but hard 'All things pass, this too shall pass'. Two of our children, in their jobs, are always flitting round the world. 3 are coming in the next fortnight to see their Papa - when they get through the added security they are in for a shock. Watching the stories of bravery of parents and children and the things being done for them wrecked me last night. I went to sleep thinking 'I will do more for my husband, before the rest of his mind slips away from me'. Then Les's poem 'When I feel blue, I so often resent'. I am full of resentment this morning against my husband - not because the 'evening of our life' is so grim, but because his life has been lived, if not in luxury, but never at risk of serious illness or in danger, even in the war. All through our fabulous (if tumultuous) life, it is I who have instigated everything, and he, although helping, of course, has enjoyed it all. The fact that he has refused to take advantage of everything people have done for him over the last few years is building up a furore of rage inside me, and the self-pity is fueling that rage. But Frankie's 'enjoy the journey' has come well to the fore. My crazy shop (destined to be a museum of 'couture' displaying beautiful workmanship) will be a wonderland of beauty, plants and light for all to wander round for the Christmas period. I ain't going anywhere - so, if I can please others, and, hopefully wheel Mr TG round in a wheelchair (unless someone can persuade him that there is no reason why he should not walk) that is my Christmas, I will apologize again for 'using' Moodscope, but, for France, it is a very awful day.

Frankie Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 11:17am

Apology not necessary, dear Gardener; your rage is understandable, and possibly part of the grieving process. I am lighting several candles today as I sit here working ... one for you and Mr. G, one for fellow Moodscopers and candles for those caught up in the Paris atrocities. Your shop sounds wonderful. Frankie x

susan Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 12:13pm

Dear Frankie, your 3 lists are invaluable. It isn't easy to distil down all the wisdom we've been given here, so very many thanks for doing it. #12 stands out for me. And thank you for the candles you light, Frankie. Many people hurting today. xx

Frankie Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 2:51pm

Thank-you susan. F

Alice Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 2:55pm

Thank you for your lists of distilled wisdom Frankie. So many gems here. I am recording stuff in a book of reference and will add these well to the fore. For me it is all about living in the present, everything else falls out of that. So much to learn. So many wise folk. Moodscope has opened my eyes to a new Wonderland and I can only hope that I really am growing as much as I think I am. Alice xx

Frankie Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 3:52pm

I am so glad you find Moodscope helpful Alice. It has been such a key part in my recovery that I wanted to share it with everyone. Wise ... hmmm ... I don't feel particularly wise but I do feel that I am learning a great deal and growing week by week, and I am sure you are too! Frankie

Nick Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 4:43pm

That's a very stoic philosophy, Frankie - have you read any Marcus Aurelius or Epictetus?

Frankie Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 6:23pm

Hi Nick; no, but I may have translated some Marcus Aurelius many moons ago for Latin A Level; and a memory stirs ... of hearing something on Radio 4 years ago and of being struck by the wisdom therein, and then being surprised to learn that it was one of the ancient philosophers ... it sounded so fresh and modern! It is said that here is nothing new under the sun, but there is plenty of new wisdom and knowledge to be learnt by individuals and for me, that is one of life's many joys. How about doing a blog for us on this Nick?! Just email it to ... I shall read it with interest if you do! And thank-you for these reminders .... Frankie

Frankie Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 6:23pm

oops, should be "there is nothing new under the sun"

The Gardener Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 8:02pm

Gone back to the list again 'the only thing I can control is my own response to any given situation'. Frankie, tears of despair. Arriving at the hospital my husband was on the floor - loosened his 'seat belt' and got his legs over - then collapsed - others in the day room 'dulally'. Rushed screaming for nurses - they were alarmed and shocked, he should NOT be able to get out - heading for straight jacket to avoid really serious falls. I AM out of control - my heart, my life, says I want my husband back so I can deal with his sufferings in our own home - my head says 'don't be so daft, girl, you cannot cope with the situation'. Family, medics, social workers, psychologists all in big conflab next week - I am really cocooned, but living with the decision? Apply Frankie's 'lists' and my own experience, and basic sound decision making, but how on earth do I control my emotions (because they are doing the responding, and are unreliable). Listening to Wagner making a glorious row - but oh, what a day for us all.

Frankie Sat, Nov 14th 2015 @ 10:19pm

Evening Gardener; I do not think that my lists can apply to you in your extreme situation nor should you try and control your emotions when on your own; your tears are an expression of your love and grieving for Mr. G and for the life you once shared, and as such need to be expressed when on your own; better out than in. Your intuition and wisdom will guide you in the days ahead. In time you will find peace of mind and heart but it will take time - step by faltering step, piece by piece, piece by peace ... Bonne nuit mon amie. Frankie

Sally Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 7:05am

"Your intuition and wisdom will guide you in the days ahead" . Wise words, Frankie, and how true. I have been in a similar place to you, Gardener, and recall the horrors. My relative was actually my son, who is today in full time care. His condition became very like that of someone with dementia, and he was a tall, strong, wilful young man. We eventually had to let him go into care. It broke my heart, still does, but he had become unmanageable. Care is never totally ideal, though I do know he is in a very good home, but sanctuary for you, Gardener,is also necessary. I wish I lived near you to give support. I do know how lonely it feels to be responsible for someone else's welfare while the world goes on and people around are free of constraints such as yours. I have shed many a tear of frustration and anger but ultimately life for me...and you , goes on, and there are benefits to our freedom from 24 hour care of an individual. The great outdoors has always been a balm for me, and gardens, Gardener, of course! Love and peace. Sally

the room above the garage Sun, Nov 15th 2015 @ 7:08am

Thank you Frankie, just catching up, I've enjoyed reading your 'wisdom received', it's a great reminder to us all xx.

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