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Wisdom received from Moodscopers. Part 2. Tuesday November 3, 2015

Following my previous blog "Wisdom received from Moodscopers Part 1" (20 October 2015) here is the second part of what I have learnt since joining Moodscope.

I have learnt...

6. To stand back and see the bigger picture that is, to look at the situation from another standpoint. I find that seeing my Moodscope graph really helps here:

So what if I have a low score today? When I read my comment, it is easier to understand why. When I look at the graph over time it is easier to accept the troughs as I can also see the peaks. It also becomes easier to say "This too shall pass."

7. That action leads to motivation (to quote Hopeful One)(far more often than vice versa).

Doing something, anything, however small, helps to redeem a bleak day; making a cup of tea,loading the washing machine,writing a list, which helps me focus on what needs doing
even better, ticking things off the list – even if on bad days it can be as basic as:get up/shower/have breakfast/check Moodscope/make phone call.

8. That my intuition and "gut" feeling are to be trusted, "I am my own authority."

It's ok to say "No thank-you", to acknowledge that what works for one person may not work for me, (after all, what does interest and attract me will be more likely to help me), to avoid people (and situations) who drain my limited energy levels.

9. To give myself positive, supportive messages and affirmations for, to quote Les, "What we look for, we find."

"I am safe; all is well."
"I lovingly release the past; I joyfully embrace the future."
"I release all negativity; I release all guilt; I release the need to feel unworthy."
"I release all negative thought patterns; I release the need to procrastinate."
"I forgive myself; I forgive..."
"Today I choose to live fully in the present moment."

10. To count my blessings regularly. Sometimes we dismiss well-worn clichés, forgetting the inherent wisdom they hold.

I can now change "I have learnt..." to "Today I choose (to accept)..."

Frankie
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 9:48am

Ah dearest Frankie...you have done well here. Covering so many things I think about but don't always know how to write them down!!
Today I have chosen to get on with today's housework and do it well...then have time to get on with crafty things as they will become gifts for friends and family so I'm going to give them the importance they need as well. Often the homemade things don't get given the importance they deserve...even by me! But when I think of the hours and love that go into making things, I know I have to give more credit to them and to me. Oh, flipping 'eck, that sounds big headed! Doh!
Well, i hope I'm using some of the wisdom you state above!

Love Bear x

the room above the garage Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 10:25am

Bear, do give them priority! They are important. I do t give my passion its importance and I'm trying to increase it. If we pour our passion into our passion we have pure joy! I love to think of you working away.

Frankie Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 10:27am

Morning Bear - thank-you! I hope you enjoy your productive day! Frankie

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 10:42am

I am a beaver-Bear today!! Poppies almost finished now and on to Christmas stockings! Baby blankie halfway through...which is so lovely to pick up whenever and just get on!

Rupert Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 10:15am

I like number 9 Frankie. It is so awful to be constantly hounded by negative thoughts about oneself. On my return from holiday yesterday I was excited to see I had received details of a new job that I might be interested in but within minutes my mind was working overtime trying to convince me that I wasn't up to it! It is such a burden and makes changing jobs etc twice as hard as it should be if not impossible. Rupert

the room above the garage Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 10:22am

Hello Rupert...2 things...(1) your first reaction was to be excited, remember that. (2) I believe things happen when they're meant to, that hte details arrived for a reason. Love ratg xx.

Frankie Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 10:30am

Morning Rupert; lovely to read you again! Room is right - focus on the positive - I am sure you will be an asset - you come across as conscientious, kind and caring in your comments. Just do it! And let go of the outcome - don't try and second guess the reaction your application will receive; just do it!

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 10:46am

Yay! Rupert is back! GFI Rupert...go for it! The job can be yours as much as anyone else's....so why not you? I'm sure you know you are valued here and we barely know what you are capable of - so put that thought, together with your work capabilities AND the fact that you can see the job fits you, because you got excited about it and go for it! Oh and btw....we will celebrate with you when you get it! Bear x

the room above the garage Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 10:19am

Hello Frankie, number 8! Number 8! Number 8! Love it. Getting in tune with instinct has saved me countless times. And I believe this is an important thing to introduce to children. Gut feeling is never wrong. It also helps to release me when I feel I have to justify something to myself.

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 10:49am

Hi RATG....I'm almost as excited as you are....I'm jumping up and down at the thought of number 8 as well! Re-reading Frankie's list makes so much more sense! Note to self: keep reading it again and again! Now, RATG...go find your passion-thing today and make it so! Bear hugs x x x

the room above the garage Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 10:19am

Forgot my manners...thank you Frankie xx.

Frankie Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 10:33am

Morning RATG: Yes, it is an important lesson to teach our children. Sadly our society today doesn't rate intuition, focussing instead on IQ at the expense of EQ (to quote dear Les). Frankie xx

Lex Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 11:23am

Without review, it's easy to lose many valuable lessons on this journey. Thank you Frankie for reactivating those memory pathways to insights gathered together... and thank you for adding your perspective, making them all the richer. L'x

Frankie Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 11:35am

What lovely words Lex, thank YOU! Frankie x

The Gardener Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 12:21pm

Writing is vital - to cope somehow - but I will try to adhere to Frankie's excellent blog. Panic here. Virtually forbidden to visit husband, he's OK according to super male nurse. I must rest. Massive panic, social workers, family, nuns across the road. Husband will be moved to hospital 1 km away on Monday. Doctor coming in this afternoon. I've done nothing about my damaged foot, big holiday week-end, everyone away, emergency services deluged - scared stiff about being put in plaster and unable to drive. Just sat with huge whisky (went straight to the spot, quicker than Paracetomol) picked up magazine, first article on Amy Winehouse. Somehow, that made it difficult to count my blessings - although I have this 'rallying' team. The waste of this young talent - so much to give, yet the stress overcomes them. Is there a modern entertainer who is 'mormal'. that is, who can give us pleasure without recourse to drugs, alcohol, eternally changing partners? Even my great hero - Alan Coren - brilliant, family man, smoked himself to death. What a waste. Looking at Frankie's number 6 'To stand back and see the bigger picture'. It's ever so cloudy. The health of my husband CANNOT improve. I have ideas, beautiful things to display in my shop, lovely ideas for Christmas - for my new garden - physical impediments. But I am positively continuing historical research - if my husband is 5 minutes away, I can pop in 2/3times a day and have a life (which everybody has told me I must have). I always try to count my blessings - which are many - but pain, fear and worry are getting in the way a bit. Listening to music, whisky has done its work, must eat, and hope doctor's opinion on my foot is not going to make life even more difficult - but tears keep flowing, those of utter exhaustion.

Frankie Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 1:31pm

Hello Gardener; I have just lit a candle for you and Mr. G, which will burn all afternoon as I sit here working ... 1. Yes, of course you must rest - and your tears are tears of healing; your body is sending you HUGE messages of "help, I can't cope any more" - which is entirely understandable given your ghastly situation. 2. Your tears are also tears of grief ... and as such it is right that they flow ... they are a sign of your love for Mr. G. and of your pain at watching his deterioration ... 3. If you are put in plaster, then you will heal more quickly - who knows what long-term damage you are doing to yourself by not having the foot treated properly 4. If Mr. G. is five minutes away, and you are in plaster, then you can get a taxi ... and go once a day - so that you get the rest you so obviously need. 5. RE: ideas ... When I was in a similar state of exhaustion (and ignoring all messages from my exhausted body and those from my nearest and dearest)a very dear friend said to me "Just because you have good ideas, does NOT mean that you have to make them happen; you are NOT super-woman Frankie, and no-one wants you to be super-woman; but we DO want you to rest" 6. In my limited experience at times of such stress our horizons shrink, so that seeing the bigger picture is virtually impossible. All I could do was focus on the next task, the next hour, sometimes only the next five minutes (especially where crying was concerned). In moments of extreme grief I couldn't even see to the (essential) cup of tea once the tears had subsided ... so of course seeing the bigger picture is difficult for you just now - a case of letting go of the outcome (I use the phrase "Let go and let God")scary though that can feel. 7. Also, counting blessings can seem impossible when in the midst of such turmoil, pain, grief and uncertainty; for you, dear Gardener, today's blog is probably not what you need to hear - hear instead the messages of support, admiration and sympathy which fellow Moodscopers have been sending you recently; and know that there are many more of the silent majority who will also be thinking of you and yours ... All things pass, and this too shall pass, in time ... Oh, and a HUGE thank-you for reminding me of the brilliant Alan Coren ... takes me back to when I was first married and we used to listen to him on Radio 4 and read his books ... And PLEASE feel free to ignore all the above if it is of no use to you!!! Sending you cyber hugs, virtual tissues, and plenty of tea ... Frankie

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 3:08pm

Not much more, dear TG to add t what Frankie has so eloquently written above....as she says do as you are told re:foot or you won't be able to visit Mr TG if you are unwell yourself. Cry, cry and cry again seems to be the mantra of the many at the moment. We get ourselves so exhausted by the turmoil of life as well as the mundane things but let it out...better out than in today dear TG. Sending Big Bear Hugs x x x

Vanessa Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 3:10pm

Dear Gardener, holding you in prayer this afternoon. I can't imagine how awful it all must be, I wish I could say something - anything - helpful. hugs from here too, to join Frankie's. x

Vanessa Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 3:12pm

Bear - a sneaky note for you, just to say thank you so much for the crochet website tips the other day. Really helpful, and nice to think of you crocheting alongside me. x

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 5:30pm

Sneakiest of notes back, ma cherie...we are crochet-buddies! My pleasure....even if you don't want to crochet..the pics are uplifting :) Hope you are doing fablious x

Vanessa Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 3:13pm

Frankie, I was trying to choose my favourite, but I just couldn't! They are all so helpful! Thank you.

Frankie Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 3:29pm

Thank-you Vanessa - I'm glad they help; it's remembering them when I am down which I find difficult! Frankie

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 5:31pm

Frankie...oh wise woman..again you are so right...hitting nail on head again...if we could just remember a smidgin of the grand ideas we get from Moodscope when we are down...we would be so much betterer quickerer! Bear x

Debs Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 5:09pm

Such a lovely reminder Frankie, thank you. As a listmaker I need to repeat them to myself often, to write them down and post them somewhere. I've added the ones above to the previous message to create a shortform... maybe it might be helpful so here goes....

1. Be more, do less
2. Savour small pleasures
3. Live in the moment
4. Build-in relaxation
5. Exercise
6. See the bigger picture
7. Action leads to motivation
8. Trust myself and my intuition
9. Give myself positive affirmations
10. Count my blessings (or for me develop an attitude of gratitude ;-))

Right, time to savour a small pleasure (a cup of tea) and then relax a little before I collect my small minion from nursery and the house becomes a picture of chaos. Much love to you for sharing today, your thoughtfulness is a beautiful gift xxx

Frankie Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 5:33pm

Oh yes, Debs - thank-you for this improvement! And thank-you for your kind words - much appreciated. Good luck with the chaos... Frankie xx

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 5:34pm

Now Debs of the Deborah variety...what an angel you are as well as Frankie...putting it all in lists that we can look back on...or print! Hoping small minion and the picture of chaos that us your wonderful home are looking the most chaotic and pleasurable ever! Paint? Pastry? Books and toys? Delish recipe for Hygge! Bear x

Debs Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 7:35pm

Ahhh - not an improvement Frankie, just a little biscuit to go on the side of your cuppa ;-) Bear - oh I wish it was so wholesome; instead its been a small meltdown over an unfinished a bowl of porridge and much procrastination over going to bed. Its no wonder my panlid needs lifting so oft! Need to put number 9 in place tonight and tell myself how proud I am for being a single mummy who does a good job and has raised a (mostly) lovely little fella.xxx

Vanessa Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 7:47pm

Debs, you have my wholehearted sympathy, parenting is the biggest challenge I face. I hope you can embrace the chaos (occasionally I manage that). Mine are at school now, it does get easier, I promise!

Debs Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 8:24pm

Thank you Vanessa, I needed those words. I am in tears through the exhaustion of doing this on my own. There's no family near to call on, my sons dad does things on his terms and lives too far to do much more than every other weekend, and most of my friends are tied up with their families to help out. I think I cope well and our home of two is harmonious but when things go crazy like tonight I sometimes crumble. I think it's time to put relaxation and self-care into place and remind myself that tomorrow is a new day. And I have some childcare in place tomorrow eve so there is a a bit of time for me ;-) Thank you again for reaching out, it was so kind xx

Vanessa Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 10:41pm

I think you are doing brilliantly, even to be able to contemplate the fact that tomorrow is a new day, and think about self care. Thats amazing. I'm not a single parent, but neither of us have family locally, and its hard. I hope you have nice plans for me time tomorrow, take care of you! x

Conbar Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 5:44pm

I found number 9 really useful and have written it down to read out to myself daily! Thank you x

Frankie Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 6:05pm

Welcome Conbar! I found Louise Hay particularly helpful with affirmations: Her book "You can heal your life" is a favourite of mine ... Thank-you for the feedback. Frankie

Conbar Wed, Nov 4th 2015 @ 6:34pm

I think I have that somewhere, will dig it out again, thanks. X

Frankie Wed, Nov 4th 2015 @ 6:46pm

You're very welcome! Frankie

The Gardener Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 7:18pm

Oh Frankie, thank you and all the others for your lovely thoughts. Saw Mr TG on way to emergency, he remembered that I was in trouble. He's better, a few steps and a shower! I, thank God, have nothing broken - awful mess having not rested foot since Friday. Moments of humour. Teenage girl with trouble on other foot, only one wheel-chair - I got it through age - suggested she sat on my lap, not practical - I leant her my stick to go to X-Ray - SHE was the one who ended up in plaster for 3 weeks. So long there, said to the the others we ought to ???? took 10 minutes to come up with 'meditate'. Purring quite a lot from plaudits on excellence of my French. Sitting in wheelchair I thought of one of my favourite films 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' with Steve Martin sitting in a wheelchair trying to make the girl with the money feel sorry for him - and she was the biggest swindler of the lot! Frankie's 'action leads to motivation' not real action, just an effort, but one of my 'fortes' is ice-breaking, which I did with the mixed bunch of sufferers and those suffering from worries, and emergency waiting rooms - can there be a worse scenario? (I've done it three Tuesdays in a row) became a giggle. I slept right through 'Autumn Watch' last night, I was furious - must try harder to stay awake. Bless you all out there. Can't do bear hugs, send you my beautiful passion flowers, and a hibiscus, still out.

Debs Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 7:47pm

No trying harder for you dear G - if you fall asleep then its because you are tired and no great surprise there given your current situ. Enjoy your red and music - may the small and beautiful pleasures provide a soothing balm xx

Vanessa Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 7:49pm

Aren't you amazing, icebreaking and making others feel at ease in a difficult situation. What an inspiration you are. Enjoy your glass of red x

The Gardener Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 7:30pm

Just a line - found something to eat, a glass of red, and France Musique is kind enough to put glorious mediaeval music on each Tuesday - I feel soothed.

Frankie Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 7:39pm

Good to hear, dear Gardener; candle is still burning; have you got "catch up" TV? or the Iplayer on line? If so, Autumn Watch will be on there; oh and it starts in 20 minutes ... Frankie

Leah Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 9:33pm

Gardener, I may not reply much to you, but you are in my thoughts. I continue to be in awe of your courage and learn from your years of wisdom and living. Leah

Boo Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 7:46pm

Dear All, this is my first 'post' on any form of social media and, due to my state of mind, it's taken me all day!! So . . . Thank you for your list Frankie, it has informed me on what I will write and thoughts to be aware of. Dear 'Gardener', it is dark now but I wish for you to be able to start to make your ideas become real, even in the smallest way possible, and that you find some proper rest to keep you going. Take succour from your 'rallying team' and try not to be overwhelmed by the pain of the outside world. I try to remember the emergency instructions on an airplane that tell the adult to put on their own oxygen mask before they put on their child's - common sense, but not necessarily automatic behaviour - look after yourself so that you are able to look after others. So, Gardener and Frankie, you've reminded me to look at the bigger picture. It is my birthday today and I have had to cancel all the celebratory events that were organised. I'm unable to face the 'real' world and need to be in the safety of my home. But, when I can make it downstairs, I see Birthday cards, and I remember that, although I'm in my own despair, I am remembered and loved, and I count my blessings.

Boo x

Vanessa Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 7:51pm

Hello Boo, welcome. What a generous first post! So sorry your birthday is feeling so tough, but I'm really glad you can have a glimmer of hope at least with your birthday cards. Thinking of you x

Debs Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 8:08pm

Happy birthday dearest Boo! May your spirit be touched by healing, as free as a bird who sings, may your heart be filled with joy, the joy of simple things. May your life be filled with peace, like the early morning dew, may flowers line your path, that's my birthday wish for you xxx

Frankie Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 8:56pm

Yes, warm birthday greetings Boo, and I am honoured that your first post ever is in response to my blog - it means a great deal to me, so thank-you. And welcome in to this wonderful, welcoming, supportive and empathetic community; there will be people here who can relate to what you are going through so feel free to share! Wish I could write as beautifully as Debs! Wishing you (and everyone) peace of mind and heart. Frankie

Leah Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 9:32pm

Boo, welcome to Moodscope and thanks for your caring comments even when you are not well.Happy Birthday. I echo what others have said and hope to read more of your comments. Take care Leah

the room above the garage Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 10:05pm

Happy Birthday Boo! (I've cancelled a few of mine too!) Welcome in!

the room above the garage Tue, Nov 3rd 2015 @ 10:24pm

TG, just in case you read before sleep... my thoughts on Mr TG are this... As you say, he CANNOT improve and so this transition does two positive things. (1) it gives you the best type of time with him, you can hopefully steal some moments to be with him fully, even if he is not able to return that, to read or curl up with or near him and (2) it forces a new life upon you, without this you would struggle on to the point of collapse. I

LillyPet Thu, Nov 5th 2015 @ 6:58pm

I completely agree with ratg there TG. You need some of your strength for you now. Big hug. LP x

LillyPet Wed, Nov 4th 2015 @ 12:33am

Hi Frankie, I like the way i ll let you' start
Bp lower , 150.

LillyPet Thu, Nov 5th 2015 @ 6:51pm

Whoops! Sorry for wierd technical difficulty Frankie! LP :)

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