Who Am I?

26 Jul 2020
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[To watch a video of this blog post, please click here: https://bit.ly/3eX1CFe, and to listen to an audio version, please click here: https://bit.ly/39wqjYc]

Who am I when I am

Powerless?

Penniless?

Pointless?

Who am I, Sir?

I am ME, that is who I am!

I am a Writer.

The same Writer who wrote

When times were fair

That same Writer that was there

Is within me now -

(Though full of care.)

I write, therefore I am;

I write because I (still) can.

Who am I when I am

Powerless?

Penniless?

Pointless?

Who am I, Ma’am?

I am ME, that is who I am!

I am a Master of Imagination.

With the power of thought

I create new worlds

And populate them with kind and thoughtful folks;

Folks, who do not rip each other off

Nor do they rip one another apart.

A Kingdom of Kindness, I create

And hope to live there

Before it becomes too late.

Who am I when I am

Powerless?

Penniless?

Pointless?

Who am I, Dear Reader?

I am ME, that is who I am!

I am never powerless

For my power is the power of the pen

To write all wrongs!

To awaken the Sleepers to the dangers

Bashing at the Gates

For sleeping, they so meekly

Lay aside dear freedoms…

Dear freedoms, dearly bought.

I am never penniless for I have the vast wealth

Of the imagination - with which I create wealth

For those who value free thinking!

For those who value free speech!

My life is never pointless

While I have breath left to make my point

And when those points resonate

With other powerless, penniless, pointless souls

We will stir one another up

To great and courageous Works

And Art

That will free the mind

Liberate the soul

Loose the spirit

If only our own.

Who are you, Dear Soul, when you are

Powerless?

Penniless?

Pointless?

Tell me

For I long to hear

Of your inner thirst

And hunger.

I will tell you who you are not.

You are not someone defined by purchased power

You are not defined by the wealth of banks

Nor are you vindicated by the opinion of others

Who have not walked an inch in your shoes…

Let alone a mile.

You are YOU

And that is enough

For ME.

One who has a friend

Has MUCH wealth, power, and purpose.

Lex

A Moodscope member.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

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Comments

Molly

July 26, 2020, 11:49 p.m.

Wow xx

Reply

Lex

July 27, 2020, 5:48 a.m.

Thanks, Molly, that lifts me up! xx

Lynzi

July 27, 2020, 1:35 p.m.

Omg my first response was simply "Wow!" too. Great minds Molly! Amazing poem Lex, always keep writing. We need your words. Love, peace, sparkles; namaste L x

Molly

July 27, 2020, 3:07 p.m.

:-) it does have the wow factor doesn’t it Lynzi, so powerful! Molly xx

Lex

July 27, 2020, 3:37 p.m.

Thank you Lynzi, thank you again, Molly xx

Oli

July 27, 2020, 4:43 a.m.

Hi Lex. Who am I? What is that sense of self? When does it form and how does it form? I like the notion that it forms as we acquire the ability to take a perspective. To take a perspective we have to have a view point of "I" looking from HERE right NOW. Although we have our senses and feelings from the moment we are born we do not have that viewpoint till we can relate those sensations into some kind of whole. Where we have a sense of self where I am different from YOU, where HERE is different from THERE, and NOW, isn't the same as THEN. That sense of self forms gradually. It seems to form as language develops. And the reason why no one seems to genuinely remember who they are before the age of age of about 2 or 3 is because they don't have enough language in their heads to form that sense of self. So yes, words are important, I think. Our sense of who we are is defined by the way we create that viewpoint, that perspective. One of the interesting findings from research is that being able to adopt and take on new perspectives seems to be associated with psychological health. Psychological problems are characterised by inflexibility of viewpoint where a person's sense of self is unable to shift to see things "any other way." Big subject! :-)

Reply

Lex

July 27, 2020, 5:50 a.m.

Massive Tasty Delightful Transformational Topic! I'm not alone in loving what you write, Oli. Your insights are a delight!

Jul

July 27, 2020, 7:27 a.m.

Hi Oli. I struggle with the notion of being able to shift to see things any other way. I can take small steps to do this and do but I would say the majority of my day to day existence is the same as the previous day. I would dearly love to take risks, break out and sky dive (not literally) Jul xx

Oli

July 27, 2020, 6:18 p.m.

Thanks Lex — I’m often a bit short of time in the mornings on Monday and Tuesday so I didn’t get a chance to say I really liked the way your verses go through and focus on the things which have meaning for you. I have to revisit this truth frequently. The way it linked itself to my mind was seeing the capitalisations of YOU and ME and these immediately reminded me of the I-HERE-NOW perspective which I mentioned. The opposite perspective is YOU-THERE-THEN — I.e. differentiating Self. By the age of sixteen we can manipulate symbols in all sorts of helpful and unhelpful ways. Which makes me think of… @Jul, it really can be difficult to change perspective — but I bet it’s happened to you. I couldn’t tolerate be wrong; now I can. It felt like it destroyed me to be criticised. Somewhere early I learned a way of looking at things (basically ordering things in a hierarchy) which created a rule that I was BETTER THAN [anyone else]. Yeah, good luck with that Oli! My dumb *** rule was broken so many times by reality — but still I followed the rule. And *that* is an example of psychological inflexibility! I was miserable. Till I got a shift in the way I saw things. So many examples like that. Basically the little rules which make up the Self. If we can spot when they no longer serve us, if we can let them go when needed, that’s flexibility and that’s the shift.

Sally

July 27, 2020, 5:36 a.m.

Oli, interesting...I agree but couldn’t have explained it like you do. Thanks. Lex, wow! Powerful poem. Hits the spot. For those of us struggling, with exactly those 3 words, wow! Says it all. Thanks for your inspiring take on this wide ranging topic. I like the repetition, reinforcement of the three P’s Powerless Penniless Pointless This will resonate with many of us. Good start to my day.

Reply

Sally

July 27, 2020, 5:37 a.m.

P.s. you certainly ARE a master of imagination, Lex.

Reply

Lex

July 27, 2020, 5:47 a.m.

Thanks, Sally. I liked the 'P's when they came to me and I wrote them, But I loved the rhythm of them when I read them! We have each other... ...and that's enough x

Frankie

July 27, 2020, 6:43 a.m.

Pure genius dear Lex. SO powerful and inspiring, thank-you. I feel invigorated just reading it, and you have inspired me to pick up my own pen after weeks of being "stuck". Frankie x

Reply

Lex

July 27, 2020, 7:09 a.m.

I know you love to create and write, Frankie, so that's a wonderfully inspiring message for me to read x

Jul

July 27, 2020, 7:34 a.m.

Good morning Lex. I think we are happier if we have just little more money than enough to live on. So the happiest people are those who neither have too much money or too little. I know it's all relative depending where you live. I think sometimes that I'd like to win the lottery but actually would give most of it away, keeping just the amount I need to be worry free about income. Well I hope I'd do that. I agree a kinder world is what is needed. Excessive power in the wrong hands or any hands and excessive wealth are detrimental to the health of a nation. So being you and being me are good ways to start! Jul xx

Reply

Lex

July 27, 2020, 7:45 a.m.

We are in agreement, Jules... We don't do 'religion' here but I've been recording the Book of Ecclesiastes for a dedicated podcast channel I have. It's the most cynical book of the Bible and I love it! The message seems to be: life's a waste of time, so here's what to do: Enjoy wine! Enjoy food!! Enjoy your work!!! My kind of message! xx

Valerie

July 27, 2020, 8:31 a.m.

I have been drawn to Jewish people for some reason,all my life.I love the cynical humour,and the appetite for life. I think I am right in saying that they believe one will be treated harshly come the day of reckoning, for failure to enjoy the material pleasures. I also like the gloomy writings of the stoics,life's a ***** and then you die sort of thing,so get over it. ***

Lex

July 27, 2020, 9:54 a.m.

It's wonderful, Valerie, isn't it? The only message I can remember from my three years at Bible College was one diminutive member of the Faculty who shared a message from the Rabbis, "A man (always a man, eh?) will give an account of the day of judgment for all the good things he could have enjoyed... and didn't!" Hilarious! *** Oh I feel a Monty Python song coming on!!!

Jul

July 27, 2020, 10:52 a.m.

Hi Val. I feel the same. I love the Jewish sense of humour for starters. Have you watched The Marvelous Mrs Maisel? Jul xx

Valerie

July 27, 2020, 11:19 a.m.

Yes,excellent Jul ***

The Gardener

July 27, 2020, 11:31 a.m.

I have always regarded the Jews as incredible people, they must have coined the word 'resilient' yet they have received the opprobrium of nearly every other race throughout history.

Lex

July 27, 2020, 3:40 p.m.

Thank you, dear Gardener, for 'opprobrium' - what powerful languages we have. I bet there are many words in French that don't have an adequate translation into English, but there are also so many wonderful words in English to discover.

The Gardener

July 27, 2020, 4:13 p.m.

Lex, I actually have a huge dictionary of the English language on my desk - Buddhism course, adamantine got me. A Punch article 'sophistry', then all the linguistic 'false friends'. Have abandoned crosswords for SUDOKU!

Tutti Frutti

July 27, 2020, 5:46 p.m.

Hi Gardener - My grandmother (half French and partly educated there) used to switch languages whenever she got stuck on the crossword. Then again she was pretty prone to cheating at games more generally. Love TF x

Sue

July 27, 2020, 8:34 a.m.

Wow Lex, what a powerful poem, even more so in the video version. Thank you.

Reply

Lex

July 27, 2020, 9:55 a.m.

Thank you, Sue... it seemed to gain more life with the inflection possible when reading out loud, and the addition of the piano and images. I appreciate the encouragement!

Lex

July 27, 2020, 9:55 a.m.

Thank you, Sue... it seemed to gain more life with the inflection possible when reading out loud, and the addition of the piano and images. I appreciate the encouragement!

The Gardener

July 27, 2020, 9 a.m.

Lex, very powerful - sadly, at the moment, the only word which fits me is 'pointless'. I, too, love writing, surrounded with all I have done for 40+ years. Now, no outlets, even here, because my offerings are generally irritable. Who am I? Lacking that 'joie de vivre' which WOULD emerge, despite the circumstances. I want to DO something, use my talents, help people. I am doing a course on Buddhism, so far no help. Is it possible to 'sit back'? What's wrong with enjoying the sun, not striving to be better all the time? From a currently 'lost soul'.

Reply

Orangeblossom

July 27, 2020, 9:13 a.m.

You are in my thoughts & continue to be so. Thanks for sharing your thoughts & feelings with us.

Sal

July 27, 2020, 9:16 a.m.

Hello Gardener. Just ... want to say that I hear you. Sorry you are feeling like this. Seems to me there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying the sun, and everything right with it. I hope you have sun to enjoy. Here (UK) at the moment I have rain. Still, enjoying the guilt-free time to do indoor jobs. And, I have just discovered I _can_ enjoy doing a jigsaw puzzle. Delightfully pointless. Wishing your joie de vivre comes back again. xx

Lex

July 27, 2020, 9:52 a.m.

Dear Gardener... we understand one another better than we may realise. I'm continually surprised that I get out of bed in the morning and work (perhaps it's guilt because others in the house are working too?) It does seem pointless - hence the poem. But we may also share the same hope. I do write with Moodscopers in mind, but I always write as therapy first - self-healing. When folks find it useful or comforting, I am delighted, but the poem contains a half-truth. I said in it, "I write therefore I am," but the whole truth is, "I HAVE to write because I am." It's something deep within, independent of the current grim circumstances. It's who you are. It's who I am. Writers. We must write. Perhaps, too, we'll both have some clever marketing person see the value in what we write and help us help the people we want to help. As for being a lost soul, my biggest terror is that I was wrong all along and that there is no benevolent being watching over us! Forget monsters under the bed, that thought alone is utterly terrifying.

The Gardener

July 27, 2020, 11:21 a.m.

Thanks Lex - I have always known there was 'somebody' who came along when life was at its lowest ebb, would not have survived otherwise. Now, circumstances have left me very alone, so (blog of mine long ago) 'from whence cometh thy help?

Valerie

July 27, 2020, 11:24 a.m.

TG,the work ethic is so strong in you that I suspect you must always have some project on the go,a challenge even.It must make it very hard to" just be." I don't suppose there is any point in telling you to cut yourself some slack ? ***

The Gardener

July 27, 2020, 11:36 a.m.

Valerie, there is every point - but with taking life easier comes the accept and adapt - lack of sociability (coronavirus, of course) equals lack of visitors - my 'drug' and, worst of all, nowhere to write for. Just as strong a 'life force' as with Lex. xx

Molly

July 27, 2020, 3:30 p.m.

I hope you cheer up Gardener. Are you still not allowed visitors in France? You can always write for us xx

The Gardener

July 27, 2020, 4:16 p.m.

Thanks Molly, trying, but future a bit grim - son trying to get UK France, then on to Australia, faint hope. Grand-daughter got stuck in Spain. Two theoretical visits in September, but confusion worse with self-isolation threatened. xx

Orangeblossom

July 27, 2020, 9:08 a.m.

Hi Lex thanks for sharing this poem. Brilliant & memorable. We all feel like this from time to time. It is worth reading more than once.

Reply

Lex

July 27, 2020, 9:56 a.m.

Thank you, Orangeblossom... it's a bit of a message to that world of people who are feeling frightened like this at the moment. That's why I love writing poetry - a vehicle for the soul.

Sal

July 27, 2020, 9:19 a.m.

Great stuff Lex, what a super poem, fun, full of feeling, fruitful ... I (possibly) could go on with the alliteration, which you have stimulated, but really I just want to say, hats off, and hooray. Thanks for sharing it. xx

Reply

Lex

July 27, 2020, 9:44 a.m.

Thanks, Sal... I really enjoyed the "Bashing at the Gates" when I read it! xx

The Gardener

July 27, 2020, 11:27 a.m.

I am trying to work out a strategy for coping. Twice I tried the SOS (sams here) they were inundated. Thought I could help, I have experience, nearest centre 60 kms. The church is defunct , for worship or help. I think state psychiatry also overwhelmed. Farmers here, and in UK I think, are setting up self-help organisations. I thought, given my age, living alone, our street growing empty, and the bigger street only having B & B, that maybe I should have a 'call' bracelet for the winter. But I cannot think of anybody willing to hold keys. What I am NOT, returning to the blog, is penniless.

Reply

Lex

July 27, 2020, 11:29 a.m.

It'd be great if an angel would turn up, wouldn't it?

Bailey

July 27, 2020, 12:52 p.m.

Amen to the poem!

Reply

Lex

July 27, 2020, 1:28 p.m.

Amen, Bailey!

The Gardener

July 27, 2020, 4:21 p.m.

With you, Bailey. Like to add 'F's to the 'friendship'. Faith, in oneself if nothing else, and fulfillment - of which my life has produced in spades. So, why oh why am I dissatisfied with myself? Have to work on it.

Patricia E

July 27, 2020, 3:07 p.m.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Today was a miserable, snivelling, moany day and you have rescued me. Thank you. X

Reply

Lex

July 27, 2020, 3:37 p.m.

That's wonderful and uplifting to hear, Patricia x

Tutti Frutti

July 27, 2020, 5:39 p.m.

Great poem Lex. You are really talented. Love TF x

Reply

Lex

July 27, 2020, 6:33 p.m.

Thank you, Tutti Frutti x

Ach UK

July 27, 2020, 8:07 p.m.

Wow Lex your poem is really something special. It's come right from the heart of you. Captures your essence. It's a " keeper ", the piece to bring out and smooth down and sit quiet and read when you're going through a low patch. I specially loved verse two. I could 'hear' you reading it aloud before I ever clicked on the url to listen. This piece of writing is your mirror image. Brilliant. So pleased you have blogged it. Maybe frame it ? Thank you. XX Ach.

Reply

Lex

July 28, 2020, 6:40 a.m.

Thank you, Ach! I write all the time - every day, but sometimes something comes from deeper within, and, as you say, this felt like my innermost me. Loving your encouragement! Frame away! xx

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