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August


What's your story? Sunday August 16, 2015

We've all got a story. Something happens in our life and we create words around it. That's who we are: meaning-making, story-generating machines. You know that saying 'life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent what you make it mean'? It's so true. The exact same thing could happen to 100 people and there would be 100 different tales to tell. 100 different machines making meaning.

And stories change according to mood. Same person, same life... different mood = different story. I'm a single parent and on my good days my story is as happy as Larry: I'm a co-parent who loves having the freedom of time off so that I can write, paint, travel and see friends. On a bad day I'm a tired single mum who gets no support and is lonely and depressed.

What we don't realise is these stories create our world. Why does the world - which is a fixed set of energies, people and things - get described differently by every single human? Because we create the world as we see it through our words. Words have energy and what we say becomes our reality.

I'm redrafting my story and I'm ready to tell it differently. No more story of depression. (And if I feel depressed I'll know I've been thinking it because there's no feeling without words - but that's a subject for a other blog post!) And no more language of defeat. From now on my story is whatever I dream it to be. And I can dream big ;-)

What's your story? And does it need a rewrite? I'd love to hear your words...

With love,

Debs
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Sheila Sun, Aug 16th 2015 @ 6:22am

Thanks Debs, I feel you are writing for me this morning. At 3am I knew today was going to be the day I changed my life too. My story definitely needs a re-write and today in very, very small steps I am going to start. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. Pray for me, it will not be an easy journey, but I am going to journal my path....

Sally Sun, Aug 16th 2015 @ 7:44am

My story is one of trials and tribulation along the way, many bouts of depression, but ultimately contentment in my sixties with the status quo. I have had counselling for low self esteem, for coping with a difficult situation in the family, have brought up a son with severe autism and complex learning disabilities and survived being the child of an alcoholic father with a lacerating tongue. I now look back on my life and thank my blessings for what I have : a lovely husband daughter and son, friends and family, a cosy house and an interesting life in retirement. These are my golden years. I am finally happy.

Hopeful One Sun, Aug 16th 2015 @ 7:50am

Hi Sally- I am so glad to read that you realised that your glass is half full not half empty. I hope you continue to do that and I suspect that the happiness you have found will be with you for a long time to come.

Hopeful One Sun, Aug 16th 2015 @ 7:57am

Hi Debs- thank you for your post which highlighted for me a crucial choice point. It is our interpretation of an event( a thought put in words) that sets the cascade of consequences ( feelings) that follow in terms of our mood. If one always sets a default in one's mind to strive to interpret an event in a positive way, when every voice in us is screaming otherwise ,I believe that our mood will be happy rather than sad or depressed.

Debs Sun, Aug 16th 2015 @ 8:25am

Ahh, thank you for your comments and I'm so glad my words have resonated! I've been a Moodscope member for a while now and have lurked in the shadows telling myself a story that I'm not good enough to write for the blog. Noone will read it or like it so why bother. This week I decided to change the story. I was still scared but I did it anyway. Connecting with people and making a contribution are two of our most basic human needs and I believe this blog does both so I'll be writing more in future ;-)
Sheila - I am with you 100% of the way and I know you can do it. The journey begins with a single step. Let us know how you get on!
Sally - your golden years sound truly peaceful! So lovely to hear
Hopeful one - it's definitely a hard one to crack... but if we can somehow see our mind for the machine that it is and instead listen to the still small voice of truth inside that knows we are not our mind I believe happiness is our path xx

Les Sun, Aug 16th 2015 @ 9:12am

Hi Debs

Great stuff......

We each create our own 'world'.....and what we can see and believe, we can achieve.

Come out into the 'light' more often.

"The world only exists in your eyes - your conception of it. You can make it as big or as small as you want to."
F. Scott Fitzgerald

susan Sun, Aug 16th 2015 @ 12:46pm

Hi Debs, i woke this morning in a very calm state unlike the norm. Wondered why, but thankful. Turned on my phone to read Moodscope and there you were! You explained exactly why i was so peaceful: i wasn't running my story. The 'still small voice of truth' lies well beyond our particular stories. So glad you changed yours and wrote this blog. susan xx

Lucas Sun, Aug 16th 2015 @ 12:54pm

For me what comes to mind is that i need to be careful of how I write my own character. These days that seems to be the harshest feature of my depression: being extremely negative about and critical of myself. I forget about my accomplishments and.abilities and just see myself as a burden.

Debs Sun, Aug 16th 2015 @ 3:17pm

Susan, you just made me cry (in a good way!) I'm so glad I changed the story too. And I'm glad your story is absent today - revel in the peace!
Lucas - I totally get that... the mind machine is so strong that it takes work to challenge it. It's like a muscle - you have to keep working out at the mind gym to make a difference ;-) I've created a 'Proud Sheet' which really helps me - ill blog about it and you can see if it helps.
Sending you all loads of love - your support has kept me smiling all day! xx

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Aug 16th 2015 @ 5:01pm

Good post Debs, well done! :)
I think about when I was growing up and how some of my 'stories' are different to those of my older siblings! We saw the same things over a period of time, but our recollections of some of the same stories are always slightly different...and some are quite surprising. We all see things in a different way for sure but depending on our moods, our recollections can be quite different too.
My depression story has changed, for the better now and I hope that the self-criticism I used to have is slowly disappearing and Lucas, in time yours will too. Don't be hard on yourself. If you feel you have to be truly critical about something you do or have done, find a way of not repeating that action. Write a list of the things you have achieved and give yourself a hug for each one...or better still, show your list to your most favourite and understanding friend and let them hug you...or if a hug is totally out of the question, let them say well done!
I congratulate you for having responded to Debs' great blog, so here's your first hug of the rest of the day!
Karen xoxoxo

Susannah Mon, Aug 17th 2015 @ 9:12am

I loved this blog. Thanks Debs. It makes me think of a friend who came bustling in saying "We met this amazing man in a lively bar and we had a fantastic conversation", where my version would have been "The bar was so full we had to share a table and couldn't have a private conversation". My friend has already learnt to write her story upwards - I need to learn from you and her.

Debs Tue, Aug 18th 2015 @ 12:04pm

Hey Susannah - just seen your comment! I'm so glad you liked the blog. All I've ever really wanted to do was to inspire people to live amazing lives but my story was that I couldn't do it, didn't know how and what was the point anyway. Ha! How wrong I was... turns out all I needed to do was change my story to 'I can and I will' and then take action. What action can you take today to write a new story and then go live it? Come and tell us how it went ;-) x

Nicole Tue, Aug 18th 2015 @ 6:12pm

Thank you, Debs. Have you seen the film (or read the book) 'The Life of Pi'? The grown man recounts two stories of how he came to be trapped on a small boat with a tiger when he was a child - it holds a similar and very powerful message, esp at the end. I, too, am trying to see things in a different way, but sometimes it's hard...

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