Moodscope's blog

24

December


Wear Epic pants! Wednesday December 24, 2014

Sometimes I write because I feel I have some perspective to share, some hope, some fragment of wisdom. Sometimes I write because I feel my insides have been turned into outsides and I feel ravaged and displaced. Sometimes I write because the embarrassment or the sorrow, the grief or the burden or the sore has nowhere to go and then I can write it out. Most often it goes nowhere but sometimes I get brave and press 'send'. Today I write because of what happened yesterday.

Live music is my salvation. It's the one time I feel my whole body relax and succumb. I need it. I need to feel music in my body not just in my ears. But yesterday I was crippled and crushed. Broken and scattered. Racing heart, racing head, shallow breath. I had no place. The gig I had been scoring down the days for, for months and months, was in jeopardy. This happens a lot and frequently ends in a broken dream. I could go into great detail about all of the problems and symptoms and worries. Or I could just say that I really fought with myself. I really put into practice what I'm learning. I had thoughts, acknowledged them and made them float past me (actually I shoved them down the river much more 'your time is up' and much less 'Pooh sticks'). I had a racing heart and I made my body stop to show my heart how to slow. I breathed out, properly out (have you noticed when panic takes over we breathe in more than out, compounding the feeling of rising panic in our chests? Combat this with a longer out breath.) Throughout the working day I also worked on myself.

I did it! I made the gig. And today I am invigorated with pride. I'm still there singing. I'm still there clapping. I'm still there shining my little light. I'm living today on the memory of yesterday...all too often that's for a bad reason and today it is for a good one. My message is this. It IS possible. It IS possible to break out and be you, even if only for a little bit. Find your thing. Be you. Superhero pants over tights are optional, but will delight others.

Until the next time...I send love.

The room above the garage.
A Moodscope member.


Permalink  |  Blog Home

Comments

Di Murphey Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 1:31am

Dearest Room Above the Garage ~
Live music is my salvation, my solace, my anchor, and my heart. And breathing is a huge factor in my blood pressure and heart rate. You made me feel so normal, and I thank you, from my heart. Merry Christmas, dear One.
Lovingly,
Di Murphey

The Entertrainer Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 5:21am

Dammit RATG... I was hoping the tights were mandatory! Great blog, and I'm with Di... what you said resonated and made me feel grateful. xx

Hopeful One Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 6:43am

Dear RATG- thank you for your blogs making this a memorable year.

May you go in peace.

Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year.

Always hopeful.

Anonymous Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 8:20am

Go you!! I feel pride for you today. This will become one of those moments that you can draw strength from. You will be able to remind yourself, when things don't feel possible, that they absolutely are. Much love Rosie xx

Julia Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 9:05am

Great stuff ratg. Live music is my salvation too. I don't get to go to live gigs enough and think I will make it a doable new year resolution to go to more. An easy one to keep! You did so well yesterday to get there. Down here it was a miserable day and evening, weather wise and we abandoned our plan to go to one of the many pubs here for a drink. I don't know what the weather was like where you live ratg, but you had so many other obstacles to going out from what you say so bravo for overcoming them. Happy Christmas and I'll be thinking of you and us all.x

Linda Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 9:24am

Well done to you and your epic pants xxxxx

Tim Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 10:29am

What a positive post! Your writing has been so encouraging and emphatically restating of the possible this year. "Getting it out" can be a therapy in itself, the more so when it helps others to see or (better still) to feel differently. Christmas blessings!

Anonymous Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 11:47am

Dear Tratg,
Love to you too - and many thanks for your insights; Merry Moodmas was particularly helpful. Let others look after you this Christmas. Wishing you all the best.

Anonymous Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 2:01pm

"You made me feel so normal..." You may have noticed I prefer hanging around with those slightly left of normal :-) but I know what you mean! Thank you Di, peaceful Christmas to you, love ratg x.

Anonymous Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 2:05pm

Ach gwan, treat yourself, go for the tights. Happy Tightmas! Love ratg ;-)

Anonymous Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 2:07pm

Hopeful One, I thank you. Peace be yours, love ratg.

Anonymous Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 2:08pm

Thank you Rosie, it's good to have a marker, and keep trying to step forward. Love ratg x.

Anonymous Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 2:15pm

Hi Julia, a shame about your weather scuppering your plans. I hope you can do it again? I live in Scotland, weather is...mmm...well we talk about it a lot so it's a biggie for us :-) Having a slice of sunshine in between very dark rain. I really feel like running around naked in it I am so grateful to see it!!!!!!!! Love ratg x.

Anonymous Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 2:15pm

:-D thank you! Love ratg x.

Anonymous Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 2:18pm

Thank you Tim, tend to open my mouth and let my belly rumble (as my granny would say) and if it is remotely interesting or helpful to someone it's a bonus :-)

Anonymous Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 2:20pm

What a great comment, it's very boosting to hear that, thank you, love ratg x.

Mary Blackhurst Hill Wed, Dec 24th 2014 @ 10:21pm

Love, Love, Love your writing ' Room! One day I might Write about the very mixed feelings l have about live music (yes-its' in my past: allowing yesterday's experiences to Colour today's ] . You challenge me deeply-So thank you. Wishing you joy and happiness this Season

Anonymous Thu, Dec 25th 2014 @ 2:00am

Oh wow, sounds like a story that must come out! Do write it...
Love to you and yours Mary, ratg xx.

valerie Fri, Dec 26th 2014 @ 11:17am

Well done you! Give us a clue,what sort of music was it? Arran sweater,hand on ear? Bare chest,tats,tight jeans (be still my beating heart!) String quartet? Whatever it was,I have always thought that musicians and good hairdressers are the very best therapists bar none,so your audience will have had gone away feeling better too.Love Valerie x

You must login to leave a comment.

What is Moodscope?

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.

Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. Join now.

Blog Archive

Disclaimer

Posts and comments on the Moodscope blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Moodscope makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this blog or found by following any of the links.

Moodscope will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.