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Walking Up The Down Escalator. Friday October 3, 2014

I've spent the evening trying to 'encourage' a friend. I wasn't trying to cheer them up so much as helping them to see themselves as other people see them - which is a lot more positively than they see themselves.

It... Was... Hard... Work...

Meditating on this in the bath, I remembered an important lesson I'd temporarily forgotten. This is that people have a bank ledger when it comes to the positives and the negatives in their lives. If they have far more deposits in the negative ledger, it takes a lot of positive inputs to balance the books. You can be positive with them, but it is totally unrealistic to expect a positive response for a long time - there's just too much of a deficit to clear.

It reminded me of how some people describe debt: like trying to walk up a down escalator.

Many of my Moodscope friends, like me, are in debt. We have had an abundance of negative investment in our lives. We're on the down escalator hoping to get back at least to the level.

So here's my word of encouragement. Be gentle with yourself. If someone is kind to you and you don't feel able to respond, realise that it is at least a step up the down escalator. Lock onto that positivity and look out for more. The rest is pure maths. Get sufficient positives in and you will get to the top of that down escalator back onto the level.

Then, you might just find the up escalator...and that's a lot of fun.

Kindest Regards.

A Moodscope member.

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Suzy Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 6:12am

A heartening post Lex. Just lovely.

Anonymous Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 6:24am

Thumbs up to this, love from the ratg x.

Hopeful One Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 6:29am

Apparently psychologists have worked out that we need 5 "positives " to counteract the effect of 1 "negative" which makes that escalator a lot steeper than we think.That is not to say we should not try!

PWD Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 7:16am

Great blog Lex shrt and sweet I am overdrawn at present

Anonymous Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 7:21am

Many thanks Lex; I've got a lot of negatives to clear too but the positives are starting to filter in bit by bit now.

heather Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 7:51am

Love it!
Hope to meet you all at the top of the up escalator one fine day. Love Heather x

Julia Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 7:57am

Very encouraging indeed Lex. An excellent way of looking at negative thoughts and feelings. Thank you!

Anonymous Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 9:59am

Excellently expressed.

Anonymous Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 10:22am

Heather, please let's do that before the top, I might get so delirious to reach that heady peak I could fall off!!! Squished ratg would be such an untidy look :-)
(Ah look, I managed a smile. My grumpy alter ego will be so let down.)

Lex McKee Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 10:54am

Thanks for the encouragements, dear friends, I think I've gone up 5 steps today... which given the insightful comment from "Hopeful One" means 25 positives today! (So far!) Sending positive investments to you all x

Di Murphey Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 11:22am

Dearest Lex,
Thank you for your fine post. It is much food for thought and brought to mind the following quote by poet Mary Oliver:

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”

I am climbing beside you.
Di Murphey

heather Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 11:28am

ratg - you don't fool me - you could never be grumpy for long. Love H x

heather Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 11:34am

Why are we all up commenting so early (seems unusual to me) ?? Lex - you have really got us going ! Love from Heather xx

Anonymous Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 11:37am

Brilliant Lex! Can I use this please?

Anonymous Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 12:51pm

Hello Di, what a brilliant quote, wow!

Makes me many of us would 'delete' our mood? And I mean all knowledge and memory associated with it...I know it has brought me to my knees for many, many years, and I would wish it upon no-one, but I can't say that I would delete it because I hope I can help the next person (possibly my children) from what I've learned. My question is to everyone and it's only driven by my own curiosity, no right or wrong...would you delete?
Love from the ratg x.

Julia Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 3:40pm

I don't think I would either RATG. For many reasons. Also I would have not "met" all of you if my life had been and was hunky dory.x

Alexia Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 9:07pm

Beautiful post Lex. Life is a pile of good things and bad things. The bad do not necessarily undo the good and vice-versa.

Anonymous Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 9:47pm

I used to think that when you start at a balance of minus 25 thousand, reaching zero is quite an achievement. But there is, in my case, another side to it: The habit, to count as something negative which could just be neutral, even enjoyable, if I was in right frame of mind. Or as Joko Beck put it: Joy is what happens just now, minus your opinion about it. That's what we need to work on.

Lex McKee Fri, Oct 3rd 2014 @ 11:53pm

Simply beautiful, Di x

Lex McKee Sat, Oct 4th 2014 @ 12:29am

ah Heather... the thought of getting you all going up up up up on the up escalator (while listening to Eurovision on Spotify) is a great lift at the end of a long, long, long day!!!!

Lex McKee Sat, Oct 4th 2014 @ 12:33am

mais oui, ma cherie... but what for? You don't need to answer that, you have Carte Blanche...

Di Murphey Sat, Oct 4th 2014 @ 2:00am

Dearest RATG,
No. I would not delete. I am who I am -- a product of my experiences, some of which have proved unusually traumatic, I have learned from them. And while I am diagnosed with a myriad of conditions, I would not be who I am today without these experiences.

My family adores me and that is enough. I still struggle and that's okay, mostly. It is a journey on many levels and I find I cannot advise anyone how to live and cope and find peace -- except to say, I am able to find intermittent peace and I love it. It is good. This site is good. We are good. All of us.

Di Murphey

Julia Sat, Oct 4th 2014 @ 8:15am

That is a brilliant quote..Joy is what happens just now, minus your opinion about it. Fantastic Anon

Mary Sat, Oct 4th 2014 @ 9:30am

A bit late, but I loved this and all the comments. Meditating in the bath sound like a good idea. Maybe I should occasionally opt for a leisurely bath instead of a hurried shower.

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