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Use by date. Sunday February 21, 2016

There is a very dark, lonely, cold place where only the brave go - that is the back of my fridge. Last week I found a jar of some unrecognisable substance stuck frozen to the side of the fridge. The use by date was, well put it this way, it was a long time ago!! I decided I would go through and throw out all those other jars, packets whose use by dates have expired.

I was thinking how easy it was throw them out when I saw the old use by date. I started to think why can't I get rid of old emotions, harmful thoughts, critical sayings, negative feelings as easily.

Wouldn't it be great if emotions and feelings had a use by date, they would be so easy to erase.

That angry feeling I had towards my parents for how they treated me over 40 years ago - out it goes.

That worthlessness I felt when a teacher showed the class how messy my maths test was - thrown away.

That pity I have felt because I have a mental illness label - shredded.

You get the idea. If we could discard useless, out of date even harmful emotions and thoughts as easily as we do food, wouldn't that make our lives easier.

I am not saying that removing these thoughts and emotions will be easy, we have had them for so long, that sometimes we may have even forgotten how they started.

The hoarder in me always wants to hold onto things just in case, but even I recognise I have so many damaging thoughts and emotions that really have no use in my life now or, to be honest, ever contributed anything.

Can you think of one feeling, thought or emotion in your life that is well past its use by date?

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 6:13am

Fellow Moodscopers,
I have a large virtual biodegradable bin for you all to throw your unwanted feelings, thoughts, emotions and resentments that are way past their use by date.
Fill it with one, word, a phrase, a whole sentence, or a paragraph or two.
Take a chance, have a go and see how you feel.
Take care.

the room above the garage Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 6:34am

Hello Leah this is an excellent idea! It could be a big job so even starting from today and clearing as they arrive will give us time to deal with the backlog without adding to it. Love this blog, it's very helpful...I have a picture of you wearing a 'Ghostbusters' uniform ready to zap!

Lou Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 6:36am

Haha! I love the Ghostbuster image RATG!

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:46am

Ratg I am getting my ghostbusters costume ready- can I have a cape please? By the way I am waiting for your contribution to my bin!! please!

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 12:11pm

If you have found a cape to wear Leah....will you be wearing knickers on the outside of the pants in the superhero way??!!!!

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:01pm

Bear, haha! I was thinking of a long flowing cape- my knowledge of superheroes is lacking as I did not even think of knickers on the outside!! Made me smile!

Lou Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 6:35am

What a wonderful idea Leah! I'd like to put a huge bucket full of not feeling good enough in your virtual bin, please. That's got to be past its sell by date by now!

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:48am

Thanks Lou, I should get rid of that too, watch as I throw my not feeling good enough bin , Thanks for taking part.

Lou Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 9:33pm

Thanks for inspiring so many of us today - I think you are really on to something.

Hopeful One Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:03am

Hi Leah- - thanks for a timely post. If only we could erase those "Old Tapes" of useless negative thoughts emotions and behaviour by simply binning them as you suggest ! The reason it's not so easy I guess is that some of us have a inbuilt negative bias that attracts us to them. The second reason is that our thought stream is pretty automatic. We do not actually control it. None the less in the spirit of your blog I would like to bin this thought that" I am not good enough'

A laugh for down under.

A small boy is walking down the street with a small chimp on his shoulder . A policeman sees them and pulls over . He asks the boy how he got the chimp. The boy tells the policeman that he just found it. The policeman tells to take it to the so he can be looked after properly . The boy agrees to do that. The next day the policeman sees the same boy with the same chimp. So he pulls over again and asks " Did I not ask you to take the chimp to the zoo?" The boy says " I did but we had so much fun there so today we're going to the movies! "

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:52am

Thanks Hopeful One, Another I am not good enough added to the bin. Thanks for your insight and your joke-an oldie but a goodie.

Hopeful One Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 10:50am

Hi Leah - yes that one is an oldie but I thought it could do with a run. So how about this one. In the UK we have BOGOF- buy one get one free - do you folks also use that term? I hope this is not too naughty for you? There is this wife having an affair with her husband's best fishing friend. After a torrid sex session the phone rings . It's her husband . After the usual preliminaries she asks him how his fishing holiday is going. The conversation proceeds along those lines until the wife closes it by saying " I will see you soon darling" . She hangs up the phone .Her lover asks her "Who was that on the phone? " She says " That was my husband telling me about the lovely fishing trip he is having with you"

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 11:22am

Hopeful one. yrs we have buy one get one free. Like the joke ,made me smile! Thanks

Anon Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:56am

I love this idea! An out of date thought or an emotion past it's sell by date. I often tell worries to my husband, who doesn't know what i am talking about as they relate to events which took place a long time ago. Well past their sell by date. Even one of my worries relating to a few days ago can't be sold to.him. You've got me thinking Leah! Maybe my worries about past events really are not worth mulling over. Throw them away in your bin please.

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 9:00am

Thanks for your blog.Your worries about past events thrown in the bin! I think people close to us can often give us a reality check.

Angela Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 9:31am

Thanks Leah and fellow moodscopers, I'd like to bin inferiority complex, and any memories regarding my abusive ex husband. Have a good day friends x x

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 10:32am

Thanks Angela for joining in. I hope you have a good day.

Norman Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 9:47am

Leah, just to say I love your thought patterns and linkages. Is the seminal Australian novel in there somewhere too?

Dry Day 56 of phase II (equaling phase one.) Small signs of a mood upturn in recent days.

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 10:34am

Well done Norman. You have worked hard. I think there is a novel in us all but I fear mine is buried!! Keep up the good work.

Frankie Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 11:21am

Wonderful news Norman! Cheering you on from the sidelines! Frankie

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 12:22pm

Waving Bear paws at you, Norman! Congrats on an amazing achievement of 56 dry days! That's immense! Put phase one and two together and put the gap inbetween in Leah's bin :) :)

Vivien Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 9:48am

Leah, please can I bin paranoia? I've got this and I wish that I could get rid of it. Feelings of insecurity and hopelessness also. Other than that life is not too bad. Take care all.

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 10:36am

Vivien, Paranoia, feelings of insecurity and hopelessness all binned. Take care and thanks for joining in.

Hopeful One Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 9:53am

Hi Norman- absolutely delighted with your progress. Keep going.

The Gardener Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 11:14am

Everything, by circumstance, relates to my current situation. I want to put 'resentment' in the bin. I've said before, my mother opted out of any responsiblity - even for her own body - when she was 70 - then took as her right that everything should be done for her - it was, you could not let her starve or rot - the she lived to almost 100. Only 15 years after her death I have Mr TG doing the same thing - shoved everything on to me about 7 years ago - macular degeneration stopped him reading and driving - there were loads of other things - he would do nothing unless I went with him. Now, obviously I have to do everything (not so much if he would only get out of his comfortable armchair). This is an awful moan - but this energy sapping dependence (and the boredom that goes with it) is beginning to turn me sour - and to ask why me? Twice in a lifetime? So, Leah. if you are a dentist as well, root out this resentment, in your bin with it, and let me enjoy what I can and ignore the rest. Might add my awful mood not helped by three bad nights and changing bedclothes at 3 a.m each morning - Mr TG nervous about move, of course - but he does not have to think for himself at all. Have to change Gardener - a producer of nice things - to misery-guts. That came up a few days ago.

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 11:30am

Gardener, Firstly from yesterday- I hope it doesn't take me to 75 to learn to appreciate what I have done and not what I have to do! I think in your situation not being resentful in some way would be unusual. You through your posts are telling us all the reality of your life, while sharing amusing and wise anecdotes. Bad nights take their toll on the strongest of persons. I would love to wave a magic wand and make things better for you and Mr G, but we both know that won't happen. I admire your spirit and your persereverance and hope you can can get some respite how ever brief, Hugs from down under.

Maria Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 4:16pm

TG - I, as I am sure do many, echo Leah's sentiments. Your strength and resilience are inspiring. Thank you for sharing with us so honestly and eloquently. Wishing you peace.

LillyPet Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 11:23am

Hi Leah,
I love this blog too! The cold dark place at back of the fridge analogy is perfect. How easy it is to throw things that have been labeled by a trustworthy source that they'd be harmful after a specific date!
I'd like to get rid of the need to protect myself from others, as if I am vulnerable. Vulnerability, well past it's use by date, I'd like that one binned please! Thanks Leah :) LP xx smiles to all :)

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 11:31am

Lilypet, Thanks for your kind words. I have binned vulnerability but the confident vulnerability that Leas has mentioned. Take care.

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 12:20pm

Lillypet...we need to show a liddle vulnerability especially to our younger members of the family so they too can show some. See Brené Brown''s Ted talk about shame and vulnerability, as I don't have the super powers she has to write it down in this reply box!!....maybe Leah has as she is wearing cape and powerful Ghostbusting outfit??!! Big Bear hug x

Eva Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 10:44pm

Hiya in this context I think there is vulnerability and fragility, vulnerability can be a useful aspect of character, whereas fragility not so much, maybe we could throw fragility in the bin?

LillyPet Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 11:12pm

Hi there Leah, Bear and Eva, thank you! Yes fragility heading binwards rather than confident vulnerability :) xxx

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 12:17pm

The dark and scary wary place that is the back of the fridge....made me thnk of Bridget Jones' Diary, when she goes 'hunting' through her fridge for tuna!! Lol! Fridges, cupboards under the stairs, kitchen cupboards that are hiding unmentionable horrors of sell-by dated items...or the tins where the labels have dropped off - which means you can have supper-surprise!! Fine, as long as it's not dog food!!

Lurve your blog Leah...and it has touched many of us today. Guilt, please. Please put years and years of guilt in the ever-expanding bin of yours, and shut the flipping lid down quickly!!
Bear hugs to all x x x

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:04pm

Bear, your guilt is in the bin! Thanks for your kind words and your compassion for all moodscopers which you deliver with humour. Much appreciated.

LillyPet Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 11:37pm

I hear you on the guilt front Bearness! I thought of binning that one too! Can we bin two things do you think? :) xx

Leah Mon, Feb 22nd 2016 @ 12:17am

Bin as many as you like Lilypet- I keep on binning my things as moodscopers remind me of things I need to bin too!!

LillyPet Mon, Feb 22nd 2016 @ 12:36am

Great! Now we're on a roll all sorts will be slung out! Xx

Skyblue Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 12:57pm

You can please take my self-conscious lack of perfection and, as Bear says,shut the flipping lid quickly. And tightly. I've chucked it many times but it seems to have a life of its own and keeps escaping. You are a sweetie to take it, thank you. Xx

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:05pm

Skyblue, Bin firmly shut and it won't escape this time. Thanks for replying .

Skyblue Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 12:57pm

You can please take my self-conscious lack of perfection and, as Bear says,shut the flipping lid quickly. And tightly. I've chucked it many times but it seems to have a life of its own and keeps escaping. You are a sweetie to take it, thank you. Xx

The Gardener Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 2:33pm

Can I have two things in your bin, Leah? Hope your bin men are compliant. In what I call my 'philosophy' (ha!ha!) is that having been given this incredible organism, the human body, it's up to us to look after it (not to extremes, like excess exercise or never taking a risk). Now I have a real 'thing' about obesity. So, no business of mine. But it is - as the recipient of endless moans. People already excessively overweight have to have knee or hip ops. They do not try and lose weight, now several friends have failure of the op and strain on the other hip or knee. A woman near here has complained, vociferously, for years,of arthritis. She can't sleep, so does not get up till 1l,30 a.m. So the rest of the household has do everything. All advice is to go easy on the alcohol. I've seen her drink a LITRE of wine over lunch - and she'll have more later. She 'hates' being driven, so drives in that state. She also has not faith in the excellent local health service, so, although she claims to have no money, she goes to Paris to 'her'man. A diatribe, I know - but my resentment against these people - who blame anybody other than themselves. OK, same emotion, resentment - but that one's getting worse. Seem a real prig here, but fed up with the moans.

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:11pm

Gardener, Again very understandable you would have resentment at the people you mentioned. I think it is healthy to voice your concerns.It is natural when you see people who have control over their lives just doing nothing to help themselves, for you to feel resentment. This is a tricky one, will have to think about it before binning. Take care.

Frankie Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 2:50pm

Oh Leah, where to start?! Guilt (which I have given up for Lent, supposedly). Can I have two more for your bin please? Feelings of inadequacy and worrying ... that will do for now.
Brilliant present to us all, this virtual bin of yours and a brilliant blog - thank-you! Frankie

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:12pm

Frankie Guilt, feelings of inadequacy and worrying, what a trifecta- all binned. Thanks for your kind words.

Maria Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 4:38pm

Leah, thank you for your thoughtful blog. Many of us are taking advantage of your bin, and it's infinite size. It's a good thing you have superpower strength to hold onto it :) I would like to add resentment coupled with anger. It's amazing what you can pull out of that cold, dark, scary place. Some things have been buried in the back for so long that you forget they are there. I forgave my abusive ex-husband years ago but did not realize until last week that I was harboring ill will towards my ex mother-in-law...who I haven't seen in 35 years! That's a long time to be expired!

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:14pm

Maria, You made a very interesting point- the fact we think we have moved on from some feeling to find it has grown into another unwanted feeling. Thanks you for replying and giving me more to think about.

Samantha Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 5:41pm

Great post Leah, please could you put panic in the bin. I am safe and have nothing to worry about yet still panic. Thanks

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:16pm

Samantha, Panic is in the bin. I am a worrier so I can relate and I worry when I have nothing to worry about!!

Rebecca Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 7:10pm

Leah please can you put envy (especially round the horses when someone is more successful or better than me) and on that note my need to succeed to the point I am really hard on myself and bitterly disappointed when I things go wrong competing my horse. I would love to learn to just relax and enjoy it without worrying a) what other people think and b) thinking how much better than me other people have it. Really bad traits I know, makes me feel a really bad person.

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:22pm

Rebecca, Thanks for being so honest. I am sure many will relate to you. 'I would love to learn to relax and enjoy with out worrying what other people think...". I want that too. They are not bad traits- they are human traits.The fact you aware of them , makes you a very understanding and insightful person.Please be kind to yourself. My blog was intended to rid ourselves of harmful emotions and feelings. Be kind to yourself and take care.

Mary Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:11pm

Oh Rebecca, I giggled a bit at your post above as I am currently sitting on the sofa with a busted ankle thanks for being bucked off a horse while on holiday (it was very windy and she was very miserable, poor girl. And it should have been an easy fall - so just bad luck about the ankle). /and Leah - what a brilliant idea. /I would like to bin years and years and years of feeling a failure. (How many of you will laugh at that because I know none of you see me that way! /it's just me.)

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 8:25pm

Hope your ankle mends well.
Words like failure are so powerful yet we use them so easily, I have binned yours as well as mine and probably many others will be binning those feelings too. Thanks Mary.

Debs Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 9:23pm

Oh Leah, what a brilliant blog... and look at the trail of comments! Such a generous thing you have given us all. I read the comments through and it struck me that almost all of us have a 'not good enough' feeling to throw away. It disguises itself as various things (feelings of worthlessness, comparing to others, envy, panic etc) but it all boils down to essentially the same thing. I'm not good enough.

I certainly feel like this and this morning I watched a video of Tony Robbins where he said we all have an 'unanswerable question' in our heads and that the way to move forward is to swap it for an empowering question. As I listened to him I realised my 'unanswerable question' is 'Am I good enough?' (as a mum, at work, as a partner, as a daughter and on and on it goes....) and that throwing this away in the bin, whilst a great thing to do, won't have any lasting effect without creating a new question. The new Q I created today was 'How can I make sure I'm living an inspiring life?'. I'm not saying the transition is easy... I've already slipped back many times today... but my intention is there and I am going to post my new question up in my house to remind me to stay focused ;-)

Sending love to everyone and try on asking a new question.... you're all so lovely after all, and definitely more than good enough ;-)) xxxxx

Lou Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 9:32pm

Deb's, what an excellent thought - will try and take that on board. Thanks for sharing it :)

Leah Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 9:32pm

Debs, What an inspiring and thoughtful post. As my emotions I have thrown in the bin are more statements, I try to replace them with more positive or realistic statements. I hope your new question works for you and I can see a blog in that as you chart your progress. You are not slipping, you are learning how to answer your new question. Thanks again for giving us all much to think about.

Rebecca Mon, Feb 22nd 2016 @ 2:04pm

Debs, thanks for this. Gives a reason for those nasty negative feelings I have. I think a lot of envy stems from not feeling good enough compared to others.x

Leah Tue, Feb 23rd 2016 @ 12:29am

Rebecca, Debs, Lou, Thanks so much for your replies, This is why moodscope keeps on helping people by people sharing ideas. Thanks so much

Eva Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 11:01pm

Hi Leah, I think I would like to bin pushing myself too hard. I am currently studying, (hence lack of regular posting) and have a very full schedule. I love my work, and have had issues as a work aholic in the past (not knowing how to say no to clients).

Now in my first year after my father's death I have been on a rollercoaster dealing with his death, whilst continuing college and coping with the emotional and physical fall out.

I love my work as it gives me a fantastic focus which has helped me through but I have to be very careful as there is a tendency to want to steam on at full power when the reality is that I can't quite do that yet coupled with a bit of panic that I have a deadline for the course regardless of personal circumstances... if I push myself too hard now, I might not have the strength to meet the deadline, so I need to conserve energy and build up in a measured way, tricky!

Great blog today, you seem to have a knack posing interesting questions that lead to inspiring results, well done.

Leah Mon, Feb 22nd 2016 @ 12:20am

Eva, I will gladly bin pushing yourself too hard and hope you can replace it with being kinder to yourself. You have described so well that fine balance with work providing us with focus and routine with being careful it does not exhaust us. I can relate to that so well. Thanks so much for your kind words and for taking time to reply.

LillyPet Sun, Feb 21st 2016 @ 11:33pm

Hi Eva, yes a tricky balance, but you sound clear about wanting to take care of and be gentle with yourself and still meet the deadline. The "how" may fall into place and in the end what better way to honour your father than to simply do what you can (rather than overdoing it) and not give up as you have been so far. Very best wishes. LP xx

Leah Mon, Feb 22nd 2016 @ 12:22am

Lilypet, That is so true about honouring ones parent by staying well by doing what we can.I found that very helpful. Thanks

LillyPet Mon, Feb 22nd 2016 @ 12:33am

I'm glad Leah. Xx

the room above the garage Mon, Feb 22nd 2016 @ 5:38am

A bin full!! Leah this is great! I'd like to add over thinking to the bin (it comes with side orders of anxiety and not being good enough).

Leah Mon, Feb 22nd 2016 @ 9:07am

ratg, overthinking is another one of my specialities as well. The bin is never full because I feel or fear there is always a need to discard negative thoughts. Thanks ratg.

the room above the garage Mon, Feb 22nd 2016 @ 3:06pm

I used your blog today! Wrote about it on todays...THANK you! x

Leah Tue, Feb 23rd 2016 @ 12:26am

Ratg, read your post to Lex's blogs thanks. is that multiblogging?? Thanks for letting me know how it helped you. I just need to take my oen advice!!

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