12

January

Toxic people

Tuesday January 12, 2021


WARNING. If you feel we should always turn the other cheek, never retaliate, least said the better, don’t read on, this blog is not for the likes of you.
 
Hello my friend! Now is it just me, or has the pandemic given the opportunists, the predators and  sadists  some extra energy?

I am amazed at the supernatural way these types can smell blood. You’ve had a rotten day, depressed and tired - who comes crawling out of the woodwork but your favourite passive- aggressive, sarky, patronising little creep. Some worrying news, that could wait, just has to be imparted at 10.30pm as you are ready to crawl under the duvet.

Better still, why not catch you at 8am on Saturday morning as you wind down after a bad week?
 
Then there  is the “Computer says No” person, loves to frustrate your efforts to remain sane.
 
I know, I know, there have been many heartwarming stories of  kindness and sacrifice this year. Nice decent people are always in the majority. I have just heard  many tales lately of the other sort, people going out of their way to be insensitive, greedy, unkind. A friend  described her nasty sister to me “She’s the sort of person who wakes up to blue skies, birds singing and thinks who can I upset today?”
 
A particular thorn in my side is a  woman I am forced to have dealings with, no  choice. It would take too long to describe her spiteful ways and the people she has upset.
 
In the past I  tried to be friendly, but any little kindness was met with bitchiness. If I or anyone remonstrates, she feigns terminal  illness, or a death in the family. Her elderly mother has died at least 3 times.
 
Unfortunately she turned the spotlight on me again this year. Emails are circulated, questioning and scorning every decision or suggestion I make, calling me a liar, a bully. No foundation, just name-calling.

Her emails to me have been patronising, full of digs. Not responding to her provocation has taken a real toll on my health mentally and physically. I joke about her, but at night I’ve been lying awake, my mind full of  what I wanted to say, my guts a ball of acid. It has not helped that my partner is of the “Don’t rock the boat, don’t let her get to you” mindset. His family were silent martyrs, mine were pugnacious, feisty.
 
The last straw came. She heard I had roofing work done, and posted a good review for the one-man business. Naming me as a recommendation, she got him to quote, gave an order and cancelled the day before, leaving him badly out of pocket for the materials. When he remonstrated she laughed “Sue me” and hung up.
 
I sat down and wrote:
 
“I have a variety of your emails forwarded to me. It seems  because I don’t accept you riding roughshod over everyone, I am therefore an ogre. I cannot tell you how much pleasure it has given me, reading what you say, how much you resent me. If I thought for one minute that you see me as a kindred spirit, if someone like you had a single shred of admiration and respect for me, I would want to vomit . I could not bear to be the sort of person you would like. I am greatly relieved, because if you loathe me as much as you say, I must be getting something right. It has given me a real morale boost.
 
Also, it will be much quicker if in future you just send these emails directly to me. They all get passed on, with loads of rude words and  comments added. That  extra large print you use, all the underlinings, do such a good job of conveying your utter barminess. Thank you so much for giving us all a good laugh during these dark days.”
 
I  feel so much better, and had great feedback from those copied in. This was a month ago, not a peep from her since, so everyone is thanking me for that. How I wish I had acted sooner.
 
So comrades, is there someone now, or the past, who you would like to sock it to? You don’t have to send it to them, just to me. I would love to read it.

Val
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above, please feel free to post a comment below.


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