To Love Myself?

Saturday September 3, 2016

The concept of loving myself has felt uncomfortable to me on all sorts of levels.

For very many years the very suggestion threw me into a deeply sad confusion. "I don't even know what that means!".

It's understandable that if I didn't feel loved by my main carer as a child that the concept feels a bit alien. For me that's probably something that needs to be worked on. Letting go feels like abandonment.

I also find it very difficult to take on board the idea that one can't be loved without first loving oneself. A bit harsh isn't it?

Loving oneself also felt a little like vanity and in a very English way, it was easier for me to be modest and self critical, I've had to work on that.

I'm sure though that it means something very different.

I thought that maybe it's about being kind to myself. I might as well, after all I don't see queues of peeps offering! (Except of course there are many on Moodscope! :))

Yes, number one has to be looking after my health. For me it's finding enjoyable or pleasurable ways of doing that. If it feels like a chore or a punishment, it ain't happening!

Looking for ways to enjoy the small gifts that life has to offer. Thankfully I am now able to see them often.

Being mindful when repetitive worries start to take over my brain, man that's exhausting!

Accepting how I look and who I am, a work in progress, I admire people who say that they are comfortable in their own skin!

Refraining from being self critical.

Allowing myself to feel how I feel without being hard on myself about it.

Recognising that I feel stuck and asking for help.

Facing a dilemma or decision where my heart and logic come up with conflicting courses of action (or inaction).

I came across a really helpful question that helps me with this a few months ago. "What would you do if you loved yourself?". I liked that. No pressure to say whether or not I love myself, just imagining for a moment that I do, frees up the blockage and allows me to think of possibilities.

Maybe you can think of others?

Maybe the concept of loving ones self means something different to you?

What would you do today if you loved yourself?

A Moodscope member.

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