Moodscope's blog

9

July


Through the glass. Sunday July 9, 2017

Here I am swimming round and round, watching all the swirly green and pink stuff in my bowl swish by.

Eyes popping, orange tail speeding me along as I hustle and bustle for some attention and flakes of fine food that occasionally gets sprinkled into the water, swirling like sun kissed jewels in the shaft of sunlight that lights up some of the dark waters I live in.

It is these specks of light that I swim towards, the delight and luxury of being bathed in the warmth and light that slants dancing in a beam and brightens my mood, on days like this I could swim for miles, do a sassy little dance in front of the He fish and never want for much more.

But then there are the dark days the days that the sun does not shine, the days when swimming is a necessity as is the constant search for food that often I let slip past me and sink to the bottom of the tank unwanted.

My orange tail is slower on these days, life is aimless and my head is full of listlessness and my large eyes can barely look out of the glass walls at the world outside.

Occasionally some child will tap on the glass and point squealing with delight at the sight of me and my fish friends all caught, wide eyed in the loneliness of our existence.
The mother will often tell them not to tap on the glass as it will scare us, so then they press their chubby cheeks hard to the glass instead and stare and stare quite rudely.

If only they knew that once they have turned away from the glass they will take steps from their childhood and their lives will change as they grow and become nothing more than fish in a sea of the busy world, sometimes happy in their beams of warm light and sometimes alone in the darkness of it all.

It's so very hard to keep swimming sometimes.

Wouldn't it just be so much easier to not?

But then just as I am prepared to let go and stop this endless circling, breathe out my last bubbles and sink to the bottom of the gloom, I see a small beam of sunshine begin to filter in the water ahead, it gets brighter and there are the diamonds once more floating down the now bright yellow beam, I long to feel once more the warmth and bathe in the light.

With one great swish of orange I surge towards it eyes full of fishy tears.

Jayne
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Molly Sun, Jul 9th 2017 @ 12:15am

Wow Jayne - this blog is so very clever, I am lost for words (for once) a great piece of writing xx

LP Sun, Jul 9th 2017 @ 6:48am

Hi Jane,
I agree withMolly, what a moving and brilliant piece of writing. Thank you. Petal

Jane SG Sun, Jul 9th 2017 @ 7:26am

Nice blog Jayne x

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Jul 9th 2017 @ 7:42am

Ditto remarks above - a great analogy Jayne. We often have to swim against our depression but in the words of my favourite liddle squishy fish, Dory....'just keep swimming, just keep swimming!'
Bear hugs xx

Orangeblossom Sun, Jul 9th 2017 @ 7:47am

Thanks Jayne, what a brilliant blog which I thoroughly enjoyed reading.

Tutti Frutti Sun, Jul 9th 2017 @ 8:19am

Beautifully written Jayne and really chimed with my experience as well. I enjoyed reading it thank you. Love TF x

Sally Sun, Jul 9th 2017 @ 8:30am

Very lovely to read, Jayne. Fantastic imagery. Love the bit about the shall child tapping on the glass, etc. And makes a very good point, too.

Hazel Sun, Jul 9th 2017 @ 9:57am

Really beautiful post brought the scene inside the fishtank into a real visualization. It'll stay in my mind all day today. I'm happy to be in a good place right now but was sharing with a friend yesterday who is very low. Thank you.

The Gardener Sun, Jul 9th 2017 @ 11:08am

What a fantastic blog - it started lovely experiences. I am in a goldfish bowl, as a prisoner of my husband's illness. My kitchen has huge picture windows straight on to the road - people don't press their faces against the windows but do come in sometimes and enquire if my lovely blue/white china is for sale (other end of building my shop). I heaved Mr G into his wheel-chair (won't walk, not can't walk) and off to mass. There, we met a group starting a 5 year project to do the pilgrimage from the Mt St Michel to St Jacques de Compostella. Two twelve year old girls in incredible contraptions, one injured at birth the other in a bad road accident which nearly killed her. Neither will ever walk again - the latter read a prayer. One man who had a job to control his limbs read the first lesson beautifully. I have to STOP myself being bitter as I lug, tug, get help, to get Mr G around. All that is wrong with him is his brain. This afternoon more joy - harp and singer concert in church - wheel-chair poised. Thank you Jayne, for a fantastic start to the day - I hope the joy you have given will reflect on you. I don't know if you are religious but the first hymn today is adaptable! 'God welcomes you in his house, invites you to his feast, day of joy and day of happiness, Alleluia. xx

The Gardener Sun, Jul 9th 2017 @ 11:10am

A different note - today's is the 16th anniversary of my mother's death - I was there at the moment of her passing - thought I'd be scared, but No, just peace and relief from suffering.

Molly Sun, Jul 9th 2017 @ 6:37pm

Thinking of you on this day Gardener. It is good that you remember the moment with peace and relief from her suffering xx

Lacey Sun, Jul 9th 2017 @ 1:00pm

Lovely piece Jayne
Thank you ?

Lacey Sun, Jul 9th 2017 @ 1:01pm

Sorry,was meant to be a smiley face! ;-)

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