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The Volcano Within. Sunday November 22, 2015

If you insist! If you just dare! You will witness a rage like no other here! Do you want to see the volcano erupt?!

Sometimes dormant, sometimes bubbling, spitting away at the surface. Warning those who throw stones at it's glowing cracks, the open wounds, to keep away! No don't touch! Steer clear! Go! Evacuate!

It's intense heat and sparks that fly a dangerous place, created by history. How does one dismantle a volcano? The power of it's vast and deep furnace is simply far too great. The local people know it well, live close and read it's signs, keep away from it's firey surface. Travellers visit it's beautiful majesty, innocent to it's ugly fury. Created by history.

The history of the earth itself.
How do you dismantle a volcano?
The power of nature is way too great.

It is within, burning away at the very core, mysterious, all powerful, mighty and terrifying. Formed by terror upon terror, face to face. No fight, no flight. Survive. Survive. Survive and wait.

Wait for what? Wait for who? Wait for when?
So erupt. Go ahead. Then what?
Then what?
Then what? Forever?

Open your eyes. You can open them now. It's gone. The danger has gone. Peep. See! Gone! Look at where you are right now. Who you are right now. What you see right now. It's safe. It's ok, no need to hide. No need to fight no need.
No need to run no need.
There's nothing there. No ghosts, no monsters.
No need to build a fortress no need.
No need to reek havoc no need.
No need to explode, erupt, destroy, defend.
No need my love no need.

Take a deep breath of clean fresh air, it's safe, its clear.

No need to shield your eyes my love. Stand straight, stand tall. Look how you've grown! Look around! Walk to where you want to be. Wherever you want to be!

With those bright eyes wide open now, you are free!
Free as a bird to please yourself, to live in peace, to keep those eyes wide open.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Di Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 7:26am

Dearest LilyPet ~
I am standing straight, breathing the fresh air with bright eyes and loving every thing and every one. Your writing hit the core of my being. May peace be with you and yours. Thank you for this striking post.

Eva Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 8:38am

Hi Di, I just wanted to say it's good to see you and I thought that beautiful blog would resonate with you. I hope you are healing, I lost my dad around the time you lost your wonderful brother, I think about you and your loss as I am healing myself. With love Eva

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 5:52pm

Thank you so much Di, it's such a good feeling when you connect deeply with something, I'm honoured to have done so. Love, light and peace to you too. LP xxx

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 5:54pm

Thanks Eva, wishing you both healing and peace too. LP xx

The Gardener Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 9:17am

Had a job to get 'into' LilyPet's post. Could only 'do' visual. Sitting with family on Sambolo Beach, Java, watching 'son of Krakatoa' (one of the pieces left after the huge eruption felt round the world over 100 years ago). Incandescent rocks, over tons in weight- erupting into the sky then falling, when they touched the sea it boiled. Then walking up Vulcano, (off coast of Italy) knowing I had breathing problems, teetering round the sulphur ring and getting a rousing cheer when I made it to the top. How does that make me walk tall? Where is the lesson? Perhaps my own volcano is the turmoil in my brain - my load seems more unbearable, physically and mentally daily. But I have a list. Conquer asking favours - harness my many willing friends. Take the first huge step of walking with my husband (not without his gadget) for the first time for many weeks - something we can do together. And let the raging die down against the hurtful things done to me this week, 'survive and wait', 'all things shall pass'

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 11:08am

Hi TG....I went sailing by Vulcano and Stromboli!!! It's beautiful there! You should be walking tall and holding your head high...feel proud for standing by Mr TG and your family and conquering all that life has been (and will probably continue to) throwing at you from a great volcanic height! And those friends? If you don't don't go! Ask them for help. Make them feel wanted and alive too. Bear hugs x x x

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 6:48pm

Hi TG, what a wonderful experience! maybe you don't feel rage, lots of other things for sure, but how wonderful to be the traveller and not the volcano! Thankfully the writing helped me to see that feelings can be magnified and overwhelming but are not who we really are. All good wishes for you and your hubby TG xx

Angela Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 9:32am

Thank you LilyPet, that spoke to me loud and clear xx

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 6:37pm

Glad to hear that Angela, thank you too. LP xx

Terence Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 10:11am

A beautiful blog, thank you, inspiration from a majestic person with history. We can choose not to repeat the past x

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 6:36pm

Thanks Terence! :) I'll remember that, a very profound gift. Of couse I can and I must! Xxx

Norman Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 10:26am

Lillypet, wow! Beautiful prose!

I too have had to learn to control my temper with difficulty. At school other kids would try to provoke me, and I would try to ignore it and avoid silly outbursts until eruption was reached by which point the sea must boil and the enemy must be utterly destroyed. In time I have found that I can be at my most effective when channeling anger into concrete actions. However I am still prone to silly knee-jerk reactions, often followed by reflection and backtracking. Then I can turn the anger inwards which is not helpful at all. And actually there is usually "no need to fight, no need."

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 11:03am

Hi Norman...three and a half weeks? Yippee!

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 4:52pm

Thank you Norman! A great tip to channel it into concrete action. Resolving to take some positive action does help to calm the heat! A CBT therapist once helped me to lable them as "hot" thoughts. I'm better able to decide not to "go there" (think about them) until they have cooled down. I completely get the feeling of reflecting on how you've handled it and giving yourself a hard time. As long as I have not crosssed a cerain line, I try to cut myself a bit of slack knowing that I'm not the only person who has to deal with them, and I am trying to deal with it as best I can. Being aware is good. Laughing about it takes the power out of it! Thanks for your supportive response Norman! LP :)

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 11:03am

Flipping 'eck Lillypet - am keeping me head down this morning if you're in one of those moods!! Am ducking down low to keep out of the firing range! Lol!

You often write about how some members of your family drive you to distraction and make your blood boil - are you able to keep calm in front of them and deal with them better now?
You need to be the real you; the one who is kind and compassionate here on Moodscope and how I think you are with your children. A great way to 'foil' the master plan of these annoying peeps is to keep being pleasant and kind to them - especially in front of others...then they can't have any ammunition against you.

Stand tall in front of a mirror and your shining light will reflect back at you and you can take that with you wherever you go and pass it on - who could argue with a bright, shining Lillypet?
Bear x x x

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 4:29pm

Thanks Honey Bear! Yes, it was great to channel how I was feeling creatively! Past pain and monthly meltdowns are not a great combo! Yes, the person I am with my children and people generally gives good energy. I'm not there yet with being nice to them if I dont feel it, I just try to hide how I feel, not always successful(!) try not to respond or rise to it, which is why it builds up. Rewind, reframe! Which is why it used to build up! Thank you though Bearhugs! When I am able not to take on board what is thrown at me and allow it to be, feel no attachment to it, or them and still be the me I want to be, I will be in a better place. I'm still working on how to deal with the two of them, have been calm and cool, ice cool maybe with the inlaw, not at all cool with the authoratarian power tripping dalek last week! She pushed a button below the belt, followed up by feebly throwing the hierachy card down. Boring really. Feels like being at school. Oh yeah, it is!!!! :( Thanks for asking Hunny bun! LP xxx

Anonymous Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 12:01pm

Good stuff, slightly spoilt for me because you clearly have no idea how to spell its or it's. Perhaps look it up and get it right before next time?

g Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 3:21pm

It looks like you are jealous Anonymous lol I see where you are coming from - I too see all the typos - sign of being petty ?,particular ?, a bit of a perfectionist ? ,chose any description but as Mr A non says really ??? is this the best comment you can come up with ? In Al Anon they recommend listening and taking what one likes and ignoring the rest but discourage any negativity or personal criticism . I too lashed out here before regretting it afterwords.It takes a great courage to open up to the world and should be applauded .It is easy to criticize especially when hiding behind the coat of anonimity.I sprinkled this post with some mistakes to get to you.

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 3:36pm

An unforgivable set of errors Anonymous! Thank you for pointing them out! I wonder how many times I've done that in my life? Shameful! :)) I'm normally quite good at spelling and I'm usually quick to spot errors such as "your" rather than "you're" instead if you are. It's for it is I totally get. I've never thought about its. I clearly have no idea! Perhaps you could enlighten me so that I get it right for you in future? Unfortunately I have already submitted another blog since this one before getting it right. My apologies to you in advance :)) LP

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 3:39pm

Lol! Thanks Mr G! LP :)

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 4:34pm

Yawn, how sad that you have spoil the blog, Anon.

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 4:35pm absolutely DO NOT have to apologise...we all make mistooks at sum point or udder. Sad Bear :(

Maria Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 4:48pm

I have eyes only for it's beauty! Thank you LP!!!

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 5:46pm

Awww, thank you Maria! I've always thought yours is a beautiful name! LP xxx

Mr A non Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 1:19pm

Anonymous Does its really matter?

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 3:19pm

Lol! Thanks Mr A Non! After all that heartfelt emoition and creativity, I'm glad my spelling errors only slighty spoilt it! ;) LP

g Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 3:25pm

well done LP ! deep moving poetic writing but most of all real honest .......there are no words maybe.. mystical ?

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 5:44pm

Thanks g! It certainly just flowed out , no pun intended!!! LP :)

the room above the garage Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 3:50pm

LP I Iove this! It's fresh and straight from your heart! Great writing. It describes how I feel but don't always show, how I sometimes explode in front of only my children (why only them? Perhaps their capacity to forgive is biggest.) and how my son can be as a flip side to his anxiety. Loved reading it and I will do so a number of times because. Think I'll continue to get something from it again and again. Thank you, love ratg xx.

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 5:42pm

Thank you ratg, I'm so glad that you connected with it. Yes, it's often those that we are closest to who get it the brunt of it! Unconditional love as well as simply close and comfortable enough to express true emotion in front of. Just not possible nor healthy to hide all of it all of the time. It's good for them to see that we can be vulnerable and have strong feelings at times, as they will. My kids are a bit older and I've found that open communication, knowing that you have their backs and are always on the "same side" goes a long way. It sounds like your son is sensitive, my daughter is too. The flip side often seems to be kindness and compassion. When children are overwhelmed by strong emotions, I think it's important for them to be "heard" and have their feelings acknowleged, that you understand, also being clear about the boundary. If you can do this in a calm and caring way, it will help to calm rather than escalate the feelings. ( as a parent, so much easier said than done I know! Maybe we all need to vent a bit from time to time! I think it's called containment when you contain their feelings, the ones that are really scary and overwheming for a young child. Ultimately self soothing is a great life skill, Am only just learning it myself! Thanks ratg, much love LP xxx

the room above the garage Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 3:53pm

In reply to spelling it's or its...
I went to school at the time when 'they' believed grammar was not required. And so I start sentences with and and but. And I really quite like it. But I try to get things correct if I can... But I love a mistake. To be comfortable with a mistake is true progress :-)

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 6:33pm

Thanks ratg! I like choosing to start with an and or butt ( sorry couldnt resist!) for emphasis too! I remember that school of thought in teaching too! Neither extreme is great I guess! It's as sad to judge a piece of creative writing focussing mainly on handwriting or spelling, rather than content l, as it would be to judge a what someone says on their accent! LP :) xxx

Bearofliddlebrain Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 4:36pm

Spot on RATG!

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 4:55pm

Thank you lovely ladies! I have to confess that my apology was a little tongue-in-cheeky!!! ;) Love and mega hugs back LPxxx

susan Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 4:57pm

Hi LP, that is a very powerful bit of poetic prose! You really cut to the core, and on a morning when I woke up enraged at the state of the world (I'd spent too much time on the London tube yesterday without protecting my vulnerability). And that had, of course, only heightened the usual pattern of thoughts that cause volcanic eruptions occasionally. Your words made me accept and then move away from that rage. Such a brilliant writer you are. Thank you. Big hugs. xx

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 6:15pm

Thank you so much susan! I had you in mind when I decided to send it in, so glad that it helped you. I think someone recently said on here that feelings come from thoughts, just as you found today. You turned them both around and that's awesome. If we can do that quickly, we'd be able to stand up to quite alot and feel great about it! Thanks hun. LP xx

Mr A non Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 5:21pm

L.P. I could actually see the volcano spewing out rox, steem and smoke into the skye because your blog is so descriptive i did'nt notice any grammatical? errors.I could also feel the larvae runnin down the side of the aforementioned vulcano . That said i'm gonna read you're blog again. Roger over and out. Have a pleasant evening all x

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 6:00pm

Lol!!! Hilerius! Thanx Mr Anon :)) LP x

Frankie Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 5:31pm

Hi Lillypet; "a rage like no other here" This could be me! Has been me twice recently ... Will explain in a future blog ... Thank-you. Frankie

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 5:56pm

No worries Frankie! I'm glad to have inspired you! So good to know others feel the same.LP xxx

The Gardener Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 6:45pm

Having just left my husband in a state of deep depression, although there is great hope he will be out in a week, I remembered that his pedantry drove me bonkers. As finding fault seems to be the order of the day I will add my tuppence worth - I am sure'reek' should be 'wreak'. During the week I have to sort out social workers, extra help, practical problems of getting a sick man in and out of a most unsuitable house, and revving up my own spirit - which, is truthfully, quailing against what seem unassailable odds. But, one to me - conquered my dislike of asking favours - in to young neighbours - raring to go so I can get my fragile plants in before likely frosts. I think all pedants should be hoisted on their own ? what word is it?

LillyPet Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 7:08pm

Eek! Am truly an ignoramus of the highest order! Thanks TG. I'm still really glad that I just let the writing "flow" without giving a second thought to the spelling!
Well done for being able to ask for the help! I still haven't got around to pruning the roses and I think I've missed the boat! Should' definitely have got help in!
We'll be thinking of you every step of the way. LP xx

The Gardener Sun, Nov 22nd 2015 @ 7:53pm

Now I'm guilty of bad grammar - above ambiguous - it was my husband I left depressed - still ambiguous - HE was depressed - I was just suffering seeing him in that state - he is convinced he will not see me tomorrow.

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