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September


The Parable of the Spanish Pueblos... Thursday September 10, 2015

Today I was travelling along the south Spanish coast and it was explained to me that the original towns, which we could clearly see, were built up on the hillside, away from the flat coastline (a pueblo).

These old towns with their white walls, sat just before the hills became mountains. And here we were travelling along the motorway down on the flat coastline, which, in safety, is now built up with thousands of modern living accommodation and shops next to the water.

Now, it was explained, the reason for the hillside locations, was because in the old days, the villages did this to be protected from water travelling pirates, who would easily be seen landing and coming up the hills.

This situation, then made me think of how we behave and communicate as modern day human beings.

If we perceive there is danger, we kind of shut up shop and retreat 'in' rather than 'up'. Or maybe we do retreat 'up' – away from our heart and any real EQ connection, into our safer IQ head.

Maybe many of us, due to past 'pirates', actually start from 'up the hillside' as the early villagers did. We feel we may always be in danger and thus do not come down to the area where most people are – we may never show our true self to possible new companions, for fear of being 'attacked' or let down as before!

I wonder how many of us do not openly show our vulnerability, by waiting on the shores to welcome new comers; we keep our distance and still today, remain untrusting! And yet how many of us truly wish to meet someone we can be authentically open with and thus have healing and positive intimate conversations?

And don't forget – who is the only person you can change? Yup... yourself.

So, what do WE have to do?

Come down from our heads in the hills? Take more risks to wait on the shore? Show more of ourselves to offer safety to others? Show others (our children?) that it is safe to play in the water simply being mindful of the risks?

All too often we say we want better, more authentic relationships and yet we 'say' it – we often don't act on it!

Where are you between shore and hill?

Look at each relationship you have and give it a score between shore 10 and hill 0. (do it intuitively and it'll take seconds.) Where would you like each to be? It's mainly up to you.

OK, since only you can change yourself, are you going to take the risk in those once dangerous shoreline waters and possible past pirates, who may now just be people?

Les
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Leah Thu, Sep 10th 2015 @ 5:17am

Les
Sorry but I couldn't get past the words "travelling along the south Spanish coast" because being thousands of miles away and 40 years since I was in Spain, I started to daydream. When I stop dreaming about villas, wonderful villages and donkeys, I will read your blog properly. Right now I am enjoying the view.!

Liane Thu, Sep 10th 2015 @ 6:46am

Well said. Nice visual. I'm hoping to get closer to a new friend. The analogy is a good way to continue to deepen our friendship and make our relationship more meaningful. After all, like the author, I would love to have a close, meaningful relationship. Thank you for your article!

Les Thu, Sep 10th 2015 @ 7:39am

Hi L&L

One dreaming of pueblos and one dreaming of a person - such is the richness of personable people in this magical moment called the Present.

Thank you both..........

s Thu, Sep 10th 2015 @ 8:51am

Another interesting blog Les, thanks, and again you are right. If I was to score my relationships at the moment they would all be up in the hills, some slowly creeping down. When I do finally venture down to the shoreline I always somehow end up needing to retreat to the summit hastily...and sit there looking longlingly at the shoreline. Bloody pirates, damn head ;-)

Mary Thu, Sep 10th 2015 @ 10:48am

Don't think I've even got to the hills yet Les, I am digging myself a deep hole at the back of the beach with the firm intention of hiding until all the damn pirates have got bored with asking me to come out and play! Deep hole with a keyboard and internet but no real people: sounds great to me! (Which was not the point of your lovely blog at all - sorry) I will engage with the pirates anther time - especially if you could arrange for them to be led by Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow!

Les Thu, Sep 10th 2015 @ 11:37am

Hi s

Push those Pirates into the Past where they all belong.....

Unless you meet Past Pirates who harmed you...see the new People as friendly until they Prove otherwise!

The only reality for us - is our own Perception..!

People - Perception - Positive

Les Thu, Sep 10th 2015 @ 11:39am

Hi Mary

Might be helpful to dig with some other people.......... and then you may dig something wide enough for others to join you as they walk back from the beach ...... to create a conversation which may bring you more into this moment that is called the Present....?

"The path to greatness is along with others." Baltasar Gracian

Bearofliddlebrain Thu, Sep 10th 2015 @ 7:54pm

I have a liddle hideaway up in the hills from certain peeps.
Thinking of those relationships that are scoring a Run for the Hills mark....it is generally because they are bullies.
They speak over me, talk down to me, tell me how I should 'be', laugh or sneer at some of my opinions - so I try not to have a different or opposing opinion...I try not to see them too often!!
I think it can be so difficult because I often give too much - but when I try to hold back a bit, I feel ve ve quilts m'lud. Maybe I have outgrown some of my friendships, which I'm sure we all do at some point in our lives???

Les Thu, Sep 10th 2015 @ 9:35pm

Hi BOLB

The key at some point is not put others down - but to let them know how they make you feel. Situation - Behaviour - Impact.

e.g.
When we were out last week you did x which made me feel y.

Then you say NOTHING and watch how they react..........if they say nothing and carry on...they now KNOW why you don't want to go out with them again.....even although you didn't talk about it.

Anyone who wants you to be someone else...........leave.

The fact that you can say - 'maybe I've outgrown......' shows that you have.

Change time..........and time to dip your toes in that lovey water at the beach....???

Slainte
Les

the room above the garage Thu, Sep 10th 2015 @ 11:01pm

Hello Les, I tend to stay up in the hills and I hope one day I want to venture down. But for now, it's my security and I need it for health. I love your blog though and it's given me (again) a new way of thinking. I recently had to distance from a friend who turned out to be a pirate! Was a shock but actually it showed me that I was stronger and healthier than I ever imagined when I stood up for myself. Liked your blog, thank you, love ratg x.

Bearofliddlebrain Fri, Sep 11th 2015 @ 7:04am

Many thanks Les.

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