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The Futility of "Why?" Wednesday November 6, 2013

It's been a grim day; the kind of day when the bright sunshine is bitter personal betrayal because the whole world needs to be covered in a shroud of dark nimbostratus in order to reflect my mood. It's been the kind of day when I contemplate giving up the business I love just because I can't cope with its demands. The kind of day when all my enthusiasm has drained away somewhere far far away and I just want to cancel tomorrow – and the next day – and the day after that...

I guess this kind of day is not unfamiliar to most of us.

And it's always tempting to travel the route of "Why?" Why am I feeling like this? Is it that I haven't had enough fresh air recently? Had too much alcohol, too much junk food, not enough this, too much of that and nothing of the other.

But even if we come up with a probable answer it's not always helpful.

I think it was the Personal Development Coach Peter Thomson who said "The quality of the answers you get depends on the quality of the questions you ask."

Very wise. So the question I need to ask myself is not why I am in this state, but what I can do to get out of it?

That question reaps a far more positive harvest of answers. I can do some meditation. I could get outside and take a brisk walk; I could ring a friend whose upbeat nature always makes me laugh. Instead of pouring that glass of wine I can make a mug of herbal tea and spend some time doing something really rewarding which will give me something to show at the end of it (hey – I could write this blog!).

I'm not naive enough to think this always works. But it's nearly always more positive than shouting "Why?" at that indifferent nimbostratus.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment on our Blogspot:

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randomangel Wed, Nov 6th 2013 @ 9:57am

This is great blog and one that needs much attention. We are all prone to question and try to apportion blame particularly on ourselves. This is a refreshing alternative. Thank you to the person who wrote it. :>)

Anonymous Wed, Nov 6th 2013 @ 10:36am

Just what i needed this morning! Thankyou so much for sharing.Thankyou.

Gitanjali Sondhi Wed, Nov 6th 2013 @ 10:47am

Hope you're feeling better. Great blog !

Andy Jaeger Wed, Nov 6th 2013 @ 10:58am

Thanks for sharing this. The "why" questions have such a powerful pull on us because, like it or not, we are meaning-makers who want to make sense of the universe. And I don't think reflection in itself is a bad thing. I do know when I'm feeling low, it can be a big stick to beat myself up with though! Thanks for the reminder to keep my "why"s in perspective!

Sally Wed, Nov 6th 2013 @ 11:05am

Brilliant post Mary, thanks.

christine bennett Wed, Nov 6th 2013 @ 11:34am

This is my first day with moodscope and I found the blog inspiring because my day feels like its full of stratonimbus too. Will try to find something to do

Anonymous Wed, Nov 6th 2013 @ 11:39am

Dear Mary, many thanks for your blog. i recently purchased "Getting past your Past" by Francis Shapiro. This has been a huge help to me because it focuses on doing simple exercises to help you get to the root of your problems. mostly this occurs in childhood, for example, bullying, neglect, insensitive remarks etc. this book will not disappoint. best wishes to all.

Anonymous Wed, Nov 6th 2013 @ 3:15pm

Thanks Mary - a very good summary of (my) common feelings and more importantly some method of dealing with them - Thanks and I hope it gave you some fulfilment. FM

Anonymous Wed, Nov 6th 2013 @ 3:25pm

Hey Dude I am keeping a diary of what I eat, spend and study, read. This gives me a sense of accomplishment and not a sense of being a total loser. Its helping me to stop boozing so much too.

Anonymous Wed, Nov 6th 2013 @ 4:02pm

Thank you for this. It helped me.

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