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Thank-you Moodscope. Tuesday September 29, 2015

Leah's post "This old dog can learn new tricks" and the subsequent comments on Friday 28th August resonated hugely with me. I have been a member of Moodscope since 2011.

Life had been tough since early 2008 (a combination of a heavy caring commitment, a stressful job, hubby's stressful job, a nervous breakdown in 2010, three minor operations for early breast cancer in 2011, recuperating, then being diagnosed with a chronic fatigue condition in the Autumn).

I always read the daily blog, the comments afterwards and I particularly appreciate the "Thought for the day" at the end of the email. I usually do the cards and when I do, I annotate the graph.

I have been rereading my comments and scores and reflecting on how far I have come since then.

The key thing I notice is that it is not WHAT is happening that has changed (I still have to manage the medical condition, the job is still stressful, swop the caring commitment for bereavement and winding everything up, and add an escalating family row...) No, the key change I notice is HOW I respond to life. I am far calmer, more sanguine, more accepting, more positive, more realistic, no longer frustrated and resentful, less anxious and "controlling".

A key part of my recovery and increasing peace of mind is down to Moodscope:

• to the wisdom in the blogs,
• to the wonderful, caring community who respond,
• to the feeling of no longer being alone but part of a wide circle of understanding, empathising, supportive members, some of whom feel like friends.

I can never thank-you all enough for your help in bringing me to where I am today – and special thanks must go to Caroline for making it happen, to Adrian and to lovely Jon who started it.

Prompted by Les' poem "If I were young again" (Thursday 27th August), I have summarised what I have learnt since joining Moodscope. This will appear in three future blogs entitled "Wisdom received from Moodscopers".

Thank-you one and all.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Lex Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 7:30am

Hi Frankie, I so resonate with your words. Moodscope's community gives a sense of connection that keeps so many of us changing our 'How' we respond. Looking forward to your words of wisdom.

ps. "key change" is pleasantly ambiguous for any musician... I feel a blog coming on!

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:04pm

Morning Lex - hadn't picked up on the musical reference! Looking forward to it ... Frankie xx

sibora Sun, Oct 18th 2015 @ 10:10am

it leads to nowhere dear madam. the way you see it its just a perception of a romantic type of view. watch out thats just a consolation.

Liane Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 8:05am

You hit a point that I am struggling with today. This line says it all, "No, the key change I notice is HOW I respond to life. I am far calmer, more sanguine, more accepting, more positive, more realistic, no longer frustrated and resentful, less anxious and "controlling"."
My response must change because the situation will not. No need for feeling down. It's my choice on how I respond to life's issues. Thank you, Frankie, for sharing your thoughts and struggles. It feels good to know others face issues and choose to turn the problem around by changing how one responds. It's hard and it can be done! Thanks!

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:08pm

Morning Liane Yes, it can be really hard ... I have just been discussing "acceptance" with my lovely physio - and the point about choice is that it can be different each day - so "Today I choose to accept ..." can also be "Today I choose not to accept ..." - and in a strange way that too can be liberating and empowering. So on my bad days, my affirmation can be "Today I choose to be gentle with myself and to go with the flow". The phrase "wound-licking" springs to mind ... Good luck! Frankie

Hopeful One Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 8:31am

Hi Frankie- thank you for sharing your thoughts, trials and tribulations and letting us know that our contributions have helped you so much.

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:09pm

Morning HO; Your phrase "Action leads to motivation" has been and still is hugely helpful to me - thank-you! Frankie

Sarah Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 8:47am

Thank you Frankie, I agree with your words of wisdom. I guessed it was you writing, about half way through, which made your words of support and community friendship even more powerful. Sarah (yellow rose one)

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:10pm

Thank-you Yellow Rose Sarah for your compliment - it means a lot to me. Frankie

Carol Anne Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 8:50am

Thanks Frankie. Going through a difficult period this past 3 weeks and I'm trying to stick religiously to the tools and things that help keep me well.

I really value Moodscope as part of my keeping well kit

Thanks for articulating in the way you did.

All the best.

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:16pm

Morning Carol Anne Sorry to hear you are currently struggling; you speak for lots of readers I am sure; Yes, sticking to the things we know work well for us can be the key and yet ... and yet ... doing so can be a greater challenge precisely because of our current negativity ... Recognising this fact can help to let go of the guilt which is so often present at such times. For me looking at the sky each day is my commitment to myself that I will persevere with keeping things in perspective; Wishing you peace of mind and heart. Frankie

Alice Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 9:00am

This is lovely posting Frankie. Positive and upbeat, despite continuing challenges. I have read your comments before and always thought how wise and caring you are and in a way I was taken back when I read of your struggles. I feel great admiration for you and happy for you that you have come so far. Like Lex I too will look forward to your next blogs X X

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:19pm

Thank-you Alice for your lovely comments which mean a lot to me; If I can do it, so can everyone - believe me! (even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment ...) Frankie

Sarah Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 9:04am

Yes thank you ????

Sarah Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 9:05am

Those ??? Should be a heart shape! X

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:50pm

Thank-you Sarah - hearts gratefully received! (What colour rose are you? see above) Apologies if this comment appears twice; I thought I had already submitted it ... Frankie

Debs Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 9:17am

Thank you Frankie - I felt emotional reading your words and feeling the connection we all have. Although I am fairly new to Moodscope it has given me a safe space to come and feel listened to, understood and held. I really look forward to your future blogs on what you've learned and am very inspired by your journey. With love and thoughts xxx

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:24pm

Thank-you Debs - yes, I love this community - I always read even if I don't always comment. I particularly appreciate the respect,acceptance and encouragement of people's comments. Frankie

the room above the garage Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 9:34am

Hello Frankie, how lovely to see you in type again! Great blog! This is exactly my feeling too, being here has helped me change my HOW and has been utterly pivotal. I so adore my Moodscope friends. Thank you for a brilliant blog, it's uplifting, love ratg xx.

(Julia, I notice your regular appearance in here has changed. If you're reading, just wanted to say hello and that I hope you are just busy, it's none of my business really but...I'm saying it anyway xx)

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:25pm

Thank-you RATG for your welcome and lovely words. Frankie xx

Anonymous Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 10:56am

Hi ratg. I'm still here in spirit and sometimes post as anonymous..well have done only in last couple of days. I expect you can identify me! I have been quiet I agree and don't know why really. I was wondering where Rupert was actually too. I am enjoying headspace ratg and that's thanks to you. I signed up for a cheap offer of £45 I think for a year. I don't do it every day but I think it helps even so. I do it every other day. Sometimes every day. I'm on to 15 minutes now. Thank you for your kind offer of a free membership but maybe someone else might benefit?.And a big thank you for thinking of me today. A big hug xx

the room above the garage Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 11:48am

Hello, I'm glad you're still around! I haven't recognised you if you've posted as anonymous so please don't be put off. (Freedom is a key thing for me feel free.) I just noticed I hadn't seen you daily and I know, for me, that often means I'm slipping. I'm really pleased you're enjoying meditating, I thought it was something I would never understand but I find it really helpful and empowering. Its only a code for a month's free membership but I will ask around... Pleased to see you, love ratg x.

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:26pm

Hi Julia Hope you are enjoying your quiet period. Love Frankie xxx

Anonymous Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:39pm

Thank you Frankie. I suppose we come and go don't we? But I'll always be here reading blogs and comments and commenting from time to time. I was worried about privacy using my name all the time as I don't want my family. especially children reading my secrets (!) or whatever. It was my fault using my name and being so open. Someone alerted me on Moodscope that if you google certain key words plus your name, google reveals all your personal stuff. As I say,it's my silly fault for using my name. I am so glad you have benefitted from Moodscope. I don't think I would be where I am today without it. That sounds very Reggie Perrin!! xxx

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:48pm

Yes, I use Frankie, which is not a name anyone who knows me will recognise. At first it seemed a bit odd, but I have become quite attached to it now. I have told darling hubby, but he doesn't read the blogs as often as I do (do you dear?!!!). Also both daughters, but they haven't yet identified me ... Frankie xxx

susan Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 4:09pm

Thanks for alerting me to this, dear 'Anon' and Frankie. I am very touchy about privacy so don't know how this one got by me. i will be changing my name, too, and i rather like the idea.

Petal Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 4:34pm

I'm so glad this has come up! I've also been using my real name, feeling safe amongst fellow moodscopers, but I'm very open and sharing personal experiences might help someone. So as much as I'd like to keep posting using my real name I think I'll also change it. Thanks guys Petal (AKA Lilly ;) ) Love and Light to all.

Mary Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 8:29pm

Hey guys! I have just been "open" with 100 or so of my colleagues at our company conference. (Gulp). I had to be as I think I had about 20 people say "Are you OK, Mary? You're very pale and quiet. And - are you *shaking*?" (Yes - it took quite a bit to be there in my current state). I have chosen to be open as part of my desire to have mental health accepted as just another health issue and also as an opportunity to mention Moodscope so that it's available to even more people. Yes - I'm sure that I have lost status with some of them, yet at the same time, they read and enjoy my professional blogs. Two sides of the same creative coin my dears; this is just the other side. (Not saying that all creative people are manic depressives, but a surprising number of us are!) I deeply respect people who feel unable to be open, whatever the reason. I think I have mentioned before that my husband would infinitely prefer that I keep it all private. I ignore his wishes in this only because I feel that the opportunity to help many, many others is worth the sacrifice of privacy and the assumed good opinion of the world. There can never be change if you don't challenge the status quo. Or maybe I should say, You Can't Rock the World By Accepting the Status Quo!

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 9:13pm

Hey Mary - WOW! Go you! Huge respect for what you did today. Thinking of you ... lots at the moment ... Frankie

Caroline Ashcroft from Moodscope Wed, Sep 30th 2015 @ 8:47am

Well done Mary and thank you. Our first Moodscope Ambassador! Carolinex

Jen Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 11:46am

Just to say morning Frankie, you have been through so much. Yet what lovely words and inspiration. Also like RATG above I had been thinking the other day about another blogger (Suzy) whom not seen in a while and whom I enjoyed reading. Best wishes to all out there (founders, bloggers past and present, readers, commenters) who make Moodscope so special x

the room above the garage Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 11:50am

Agree. Rupert and Suzy are missing too. Obviously people need their freedom and privacy but sometimes knowing you are being thought about is a game changer...

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:28pm

Hi Jen Thank-you for taking the time to comment; it means a lot to me. Yes, I have missed Rupert and Suzy too. Wishing everyone peace of mind and heart, Frankie

Vivien Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 11:52am

Hi Frankie - been there, done that, got the t-shirt! I too had Breast Cancer, albeit some years ago. I ended up going for counselling afterwards - some people said it made me a hard person. No, it didn't, it just made me realise how precious my life had become. I am relatively new to Moodscope, and at times, when the email reminder pops up, think, oh I'll do that later. But no. I try and do it first thing in the morning, (before the outside world gets hold of me!). I've only recently started on to the blog but I am so glad I do. What lovely people I've 'found'. Keep smiling everyone!

Peter Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:29pm

Hi Frankie. Just wanted to say that your comments have made me realise how much I value the daily moodscope emails & yet how little I offer in return. I will aim to comment every time I read the blog moving forward and add what I can to help & support others. Love Peter

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:42pm

Hello Peter I know that those of us who do write for Moodscope are just so pleased that the daily Moodscope emails and comments are helpful to people. Please do comment when it feels right for you, since you will be speaking from the heart; and know that there is absolutely no pressure on you or on anyone to comment (especially not out of a sense of duty ...) Speaking personally, I have found that writing blogs helps me in my own recovery. I look forward to reading you at some point! Frankie

Mary Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 8:31pm

Peter - we so, so appreciate this. But only when you feel able to or drawn to. As Frankie says - no pressure.

Margie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:33pm

Beautiful Frankie! Yes, so much wisdom here. Looking forward to your future blogs. "Action leads to motivation" is huge for me too. And the care and kindness found here lead to action (sometimes :) ) for me, so thanks to all.

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:43pm

Thank-you Margie Frankie

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 12:36pm

Thank-you Vivien;
Yes, it's interesting how such experiences can change us ...

If you are a "people-pleaser" as I was, and you then learn the essential lesson of looking after yourself first in order to be strong enough to look after others, then those around us can resent the "new" you - especially if they have been used to taking advantage of you.

Yes, it's the doing of Moodscope every day that helps me remain "up"; and if I am "down" then I take comfort from knowing that I am not alone in the way I am feeling ...

Yes, keep smiling everyone - or at the very least, relax your facial muscles and jaw ... I am often amazed at how tense my jaw can become ...

Petal Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 4:42pm

My jaw is so tense too Frankie! It's become noticable in the last few months. When I become aware I relax it, but I think grinding my teeth at night is a sign that I need to look after me more, take time out for yoga and mindfulness relaxation. I have actually cracked and eventally lost a tooth, so must sort it out!

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 4:50pm

Hello Petal My dentist made a gum shield for me to wear in bed (not very romantic obviously, but helpful at the time). It was a while ago and I think I had to pay for it; it might help you for a short time while you continue doing your yoga and mindfulness relaxation. Frankie

Susannah Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 2:11pm

Hi Frankie
Thanks for reminding me how helpful Moodscope and its community has been to me. Knowing that I am not alone is immensely reassuring.

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 2:25pm

Good to hear Susannah - I've missed you!

susan Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 4:19pm

Frankie, such a gratitude-filled, beautiful message today. May you remain strong in the knowledge of 'how'. I take courage from your blog, myself having lived very difficult years since 2008. And of course i completely agree with you about Moodscope and its magic. Thank you. xx

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 4:51pm

Thank-you susan; I appreciate your comments.

Frankie xx

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 4:53pm

Super blog, Frankie, thank you - I really liked the thought for the day too: 'You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.” Zig Ziglar'...and we can see from your great blog, Frankie, how you have used your own abilities to overcome so many of life's ups and downs. You are an inspiration.
I've been a busy Bear and haven't been reading and keeping up with the blogs, as much as usual, but I think most Moodscope users will agree, Moodscope is like a comfy pair of slippers and we can slip into it whenever we choose to or need that back-up, help and comfort.

Bear x

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 6:40pm

Love that image oh Wise Bear; a pair of comfy slippers ... so true! Thank-you Frankie

Lilly Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 4:54pm

Thanks for such a heartwarming and inspiring blog Frankie. I agree, the amount of experience and wisdom on here is phenomenal! I'd also like to thank Carloine and the team, everyone here whether commenting or not and my GP for recommending it to me. Hugs.

Lilly Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 4:55pm

(AKA Petal!)

The Gardener Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 5:38pm

Trying to answer the blog in a sensible manner - mind in turmoil, don't know where to turn. Anyway, engage brain. One of our sons introduced me to Moodscope, saying he was sure it would be a good 'tool' in my weapons for coping with a grim situation. I was highly suspicious - I felt it might be something which could manipulate one. But not true, it's like cheating at solitaire, you only fool yourself. I do read the remarks, but not closely - score shows there has been a sudden 'bright period' or down into the black hole - where I need my own strength and outside help to get out. I thought it would inveigle me into spending money I had not got. I thought it would be addictive. I am meeting people (all ages) who seemed joined at the hip to Facebook (scares me stiff). Several have 'friends' they wish they never started, fastened on like leeches. I say, can't you 'unfriend' them? Apparently a bad social gaffe.The huge value of Moodscope is the contact, exchange of ideas/symptoms/experiences - a lot of hope from those who have plumbed the depths, and got out - some, perhaps, permanently. One is getting to know others quite intimately without having to be committed. And the obviously shy ones, those who have problems with relationships, inadequacy, seem to be emerging from their shells - will the combined friendship and love which comes through give them confidence and self-esteem? Although I am no longer depressed myself, the purpose of Moodscope is immensely helpful at this time of misery and hopelessness as I cope with a situation which can have no happy ending. So, with all of you out there, and Frankie who started today's ball rolling, thanks for just 'being there'.

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 6:36pm

Hello Gardener You are right - the beauty of Moodscope is that we can come and go as we please; we can benefit from the advice, encouragement and empathy so freely offered; we can speak openly and honestly about ourselves - especially if we choose to use a nick-name (I love yours!) and the best thing of all is that we are all welcomed and accepted for who we present ourselves as - which allows us to speak freely about tough times ... Thank-you again, one and all Frankie

Anonymous Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 8:16pm

i'm still reading the blogs when i can. i rarely do the cards these days. i comment now and again and it's amazing the responses they get. it is a lovely community where we all can sympathise with each other, you know you are not alone in going through though times. i'm going to see my first ever therapist on Thursday to talk about anxiety issues. should be interesting ;) peace and love

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 9:24pm

Hello Anonymous 8.16pm Really hope Thursday goes well for you ... I have benefitted hugely from therapists in the past (just counting ... 4 at different stages in my adult life). The one thing they all had in common was that they were on my side and they listened without judging me; I could say anything ... Peace and love to you too Frankie

Mary Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 8:38pm

Frankie - what a brilliant post and look how many threads it has produced! Love to you as always. Mary

Frankie Tue, Sep 29th 2015 @ 9:24pm

Thank-you Mary You too Frankie

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