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Talking to the child within. Wednesday July 3, 2013

It was a curious and touching moment last week when my mum discovered an old cassette tape recording of me reciting poetry at the tender age of six. I read several humorous poems with confidence, poise and gusto. I really acted the part.

What was truly fascinating for me was that the little girl I was hearing isn't the woman I am now. In the years that ensued I lost all confidence and started to peep out at life from under the proverbial comfort blanket. (I have my suspicions about when things started to change and it was long before high school even.)

I've been engaged in some kind of inner dialogue with that six year old little girl since listening to those precious tapes. What would I say to her if I could? How would I reassure her? What did I love about that child? What words would have planted the seeds of inner-worth and security?

In her deeply cathartic book, The Artists Way, Julia Cameron encourages us to re-acquaint with the child within. Often, we've abandoned that child so many times in our adult life that it can be painful and sad to condescend enough to listen, and to hear, what that child inside us is saying.

By granting a gentle nod of acceptance to the loves, dislikes, sadness and insecurities of that inner child however, we take a powerful step towards understanding the enigma we may have become.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment on our Blogspot:

http://moodscope.blogspot.com/2013/07/talking-to-child-within.html


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Comments

PWD Wed, Jul 3rd 2013 @ 4:31am

Another good blog I can also relate to it, I have come to believe so many difficulties of mine have come from my younger days but understanding it helps a lot.


Paul

Anonymous Wed, Jul 3rd 2013 @ 6:49am

I can recall exactly the moment when my three year old son lost all his confidence and joie de vivre. It was the moment his mother and his grandmother simultaneously physically attacked me in front of him.It took around 18 months and a lot of love for him to have most of that confidence return.Still today however, I wonder how different he may have been if the attack had never taken place. The attack was to wrestle a 2nd copy of his birth certificate from my hands, that I was voluntarily bringing at their request.The cost of a replacement birth certificate today is £13.99; the cost of the emotional scarring, incalculable.

Sarah Layton Wed, Jul 3rd 2013 @ 8:58am

What a moving post - thank you Suzy. I find the concept of the inner child very helpful and regularly dialogue with the young one within me. I also imagine myself taking her by the hand and leading her gently into the situations she might like to avoid - to hide from - talking reassuringly all the way. It is such a relief to be able to communicate with myself in this way and supports me to take steps out of my comfort zone that I might otherwise avoid. Responding carefully to my young self enables me to avoid jumping off cliffs too - she has a wisdom that I can otherwise lack.

Anonymous Wed, Jul 3rd 2013 @ 9:49am

Yes very true words said here.. we sometimes lose touch of the 6-7- 8year old we used to be .The inocence the dreams asperations and get stuck in the now... It pays to look at how were to realise how we got to where we are now !

Nathanael Backhouse Wed, Jul 3rd 2013 @ 12:35pm

I met somebody, an older gentleman the other week and it struck quite strongly, how his inner child had stayed with him. In this case it was not entirely positive (from my perspective anyway!)... but it was strange - I could clearly imagine what he must have been like as a child. I sometimes wonder if we all still carry the inner child within ourselves. I don't think we should view our childhood years as something to emulate, but we can definitely look into the very positive nature of childhood and identify these "turning points" as mentioned above. I think there are probably elements of the child that we should grow and encourage, and others that we should probably subdue!

Anonymous Wed, Jul 3rd 2013 @ 3:40pm

I am unsure of research done on diagnosis/behavior data accumulated/studied re: childhood onset of manic-depression. Not very long ago - a decade or two, or perhaps a bit longer, diagnoses of childhood onset were virtually non-existent.

I'm curious as to those reading of your perceptions along with feedback on whether the (general) "outgoingness" of children can be correlated with observed behaviors of mild hypomania.

Along with this curiousity of comparison/contrast of low/moderate hypomanic states (i.e. functional w/o negative characteristics as overspending and other inauspiciousms behaviours/decisions) I want to bring up an e-conversation I had some time back w/the founder of Moodscope. I noted the algorithms processing data from responses to 20 questions are quite good at picking up depressive affects.

*However*, results revealing "positive" mood affects, could quite possible - and I speak from experiential data - for upper level results, say 90, or 95 and above, could also easily indicate an incipient hypomanic state.

I'm a biochemist, not a computer programmer, but let me throw out a suggestion - as hypomania can be just as, if not more so in some ways - as deleterious as depression - if, above a certain point in taking the moodscope test, scores rise above a certain point, a subsidiary set of questions would be added, perhaps questioning change in spending patterns and other symptomatic hypomanic systems . . . just to point out the possibility of a rising mood that might warrant a check with one's medical provider.

Tim Damon
Case Western Reserve University - Class of 1988
Cleveland, Ohio, USA

Anonymous Wed, Jul 3rd 2013 @ 4:14pm

One of the best bits of advice I've found for when I'm brooding on an upset: in my mind I (as an adult) take the child by the hand to an imaginary wise woman for advice to meet its needs, then act on it. The thought process acknowledges all three parts of the self.

Suzy Wed, Jul 3rd 2013 @ 5:05pm

Hey Tim, I'm no bio-chemist OR computer programmer and so I maybe completely wrong (I often am) but I think you may find interesting the comments following the post of May 24th 2013.

john hinsley Wed, Jul 3rd 2013 @ 11:14pm

May I recommend John Bradshaw's book "Home Coming" - Reclaiming and championing your inner child. A Compassionate, Definitive, Simple Workbook.
This book is the only one I ever recommend. So fundamental to realizing why we are how we are.
Very helpful for me.
John

Anonymous Wed, Jul 3rd 2013 @ 11:49pm

I don't have to worry about getting in touch with my inner child. I still am that child despite my 47 years. A few years ago my psychiatrist told me that I had the emotional development of a twelve year old.

My physical childhood was full of fear, and I never got over it.

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