Switching off and starting again

16 Feb 2019
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I am not very good with anything electrical, but I do have one trick and that I use with the computer. If all else fails, switch it off, wait a few minutes and reboot. It usually works.

I was wondering when we are having struggles and problems can we just switch off and start again.

For me switching off is going for a walk or going to bed and watching an old movie or just watching tv and relaxing.

I find restarting the hard bit, especially if I have been tired and very upset. The thought of restarting again can be daunting and overwhelming.

If I was a machine, I would just hit my start button, but for me, facing my problems again, even after a short break, is not easy.

What do we need to reboot and start again?

I need a change of environment, a change of pace, chocolate and to try to work out how to cope with the problems that caused me to switch off. Sometimes it may be easier to be a machine and have a switch off button.

Overthinking is always a problem for me. People have told me it may be effective if I 'take a break' from worrying and re-visit my problems the next day. However, while a break is good, my overthinking and problems are still the same just a day later.

I have read that changing your attitude towards stress takes time, so it can take many attempts before you begin to notice any changes. I keep trying but with no change.

What do you do when you need to switch off and start again? Does it work?

Leah

A Moodscope Member

A Moodscope member.

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Comments

Molly

Feb. 16, 2019, 6:10 a.m.

Hi Leah Thank you for this, another well thought out blog and so relevant to many. If only we COULD switch off and start again like a computer. I think I would keep myself on the 'switch off' button. I have said it before but personally my stress and moods etc seem to have a mind of their own. I was trying to relate with 'switching off' when reading your blog and I might be odd, but I don't feel that it is something in my control. So in answer to your question, no it doesn't work! That is just me, but it sounds like you have the tools in place to have a break from life stresses and problems, even if they are still there the next day. I guess it is absolutely important to have some respite, or we make ourselves unwell. I am in the lucky (not so lucky) position that if I feel I need a nap, I can take one. I guess now (thinking it through), this is my 'switching off' coping mechanism. I feel that we really need to do whatever we need to do to relieve overthinking and stress without feeling guilty. The computer might work again for a while, but like life in itself, it will soon crash again! Love Molly xx

Reply

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:25 a.m.

Molly, thanks for your comment. I hadn’t thought about the computer crashing . I do t have an answer for that. Maybe get a new computer.! I don’t really have the tools in place as I wouldn’t have to do it many times. I agree that stress and moods take me by surprise too. Leah. X

Oli

Feb. 16, 2019, 10:07 a.m.

Hi Molly, I don't think the computer has to "crash" because that might be an over-extension of an otherwise useful metaphor. I wrote a bit about it below but the gist is that minds are a bit like computers, but not to that extent! :-) x

Nicco

Feb. 16, 2019, 11:56 a.m.

Molly, I felt exactly the same when reading this blog. I'm not well atm & can't function physically but oh how I wish I could switch off what's happening on the inside. When I'm well I do take time out to do relaxing things for myself but, when not well & in the 'out if kilter' phase, I find it hard to find ways of calming myself & get very afraid I mIght crash altogether. I find the online meditations of Daniel Stephenson for accute stress & panic attacks of some help, also Michael sealey has some good ones.

Molly

Feb. 16, 2019, 2:13 p.m.

Hi Oli, maybe it is an over extension of the metaphor, but I had to sound drastic, to make my comment interesting lol !! Hope you are feeling a bit better xx

Molly

Feb. 16, 2019, 2:30 p.m.

Hi Nicco, we are very alike you and me. I find it impossible when in my bad place to do anything kind for myself, then on a ‘good’ day, I’m just relieved to feel ok, which I guess is ‘time out’ in itself. I will look up those meditations you suggest. I do hope you get through this ****** time without crashing. Sending hugs xx

Nicco

Feb. 16, 2019, 3:44 p.m.

Thanks, Molly. Yes, I think we are. I do, too, as it feels very frightening.

Molly

Feb. 16, 2019, 5:20 p.m.

This doesn’t sound good at all Nicco. Wish I could help, but I’m unsure anyone can help when feeling so bad. So I have nothing useful to say. I know that feeling of desperation and feeling frightened. Keep fighting, say “I will get through this, I will, I will, I will” lots of love xxxx

Valerie

Feb. 16, 2019, 6:08 p.m.

Hi Nicco,I am sorry to hear you are struggling.I do understand the fear of going right into The Dark Place.Do you have someone close or a Moodscope buddy to give support? xx

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 8:53 p.m.

Oli, I am not technical so I liked the crash metaphor and I guess it is how you interpret the word crash . thanks for your comment.

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 8:56 p.m.

Nicco, I am sorry you are not well. I will look at those mediations . thanks you.

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 8:57 p.m.

Molly when I am in a good place I have the tools and the awareness but like you when in a bad place all reason and all my plans go out the window.

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:01 p.m.

Nicco I echo Molly’s and Valerie’s concern for you. I hope you have support. you can post here as much as you want if that helps in some small way. I know you have dealt with a lot in your life especially recently and as Molly says you can keep fighting. we are here for you. Xx

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:56 p.m.

Molly, Your comment ts are always interesting Supportive and very much welcome. Xx

RC

Feb. 16, 2019, 11:14 p.m.

Hi Molly I've left a response to Leah below it's a bit War and Peace in length but I wanted to say what helps me in times of need. Hoping you find peace in your life if only for a short spell One baby step at a time Or banana steps as I call them although not sure why!!

Molly

Feb. 16, 2019, 11:33 p.m.

Bless you Leah, thank you xx

Leah

Feb. 17, 2019, 12:12 a.m.

RubyRed banana steps I would worry they would be very slippery. Is that a regional saying. Thanks for your reply to Molly too.

Orangeblossom

Feb. 16, 2019, 6:58 a.m.

Hi Leah, thanks for the blog. My tendency to overtime is sometimes contained when I go to bed & read a novel. Usually it has nothing to do with my daily activities. Just finished reading an historical novel by Aloson Weir called’Innocent Traitor’ about the Life & death of Lady Jane Grey. Stayed up until the early hours finishing it. I also go on my headspace journey, but this isn’t as effective because my mind wanders all over the place. At the moment I’m note-taking for a blog on Thatcher, Reagan & The legacy of 1980s. It is well taught but I am reliving some of my past which is slightly painful.

Reply

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:28 a.m.

Orangeblossom , Thanks for your comment. Reagan and the legacy of the 1980s. Sounds a bit heavy for me, all I recall from the 1980s was having 3 chi,Daren and no politics!!

Ach UK

Feb. 16, 2019, 7:23 a.m.

Dear Leah, Lovely to have a blog from you. When my brain goes into overdrive it's like . . " The runaway train went down the track and she blew . . . " :))) Definitely right Molly, sometimes the "Off switch " doesn't work very well. But most systems with moving parts need regular maintenance and fine tuning. I don't know why or where my brain got not to learn that. And when pressing "on" or "off" buttons there's often a lag before the accelerator or brakes kick in, so allowances need to be made for that. One of the hardest parts is monitoring when to apply the brakes. . . .Often I don't see the danger signals until disaster's upon me. I accept I'm not always gonna get it right. I know though that I can " get up and start over again" . . . . It do take a lot of huffing and puffing though these days. :))) XX Ach. Oh, the runaway train went over the hill and she blew, The runaway train went over the hill and she blew, The runaway train went over the hill, And the last we heard, she was goin' still And she blewew blew, blew, blew... https://youtu.be/TFJ3KayeUTc

Reply

Sally

Feb. 16, 2019, 8:06 a.m.

Always loved that song.And I love “ It do take a lot of huffing and puffing these days” , identify strongly with that one!

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:31 a.m.

Ach Uk, Thanks for your comment. I agree not spotting the danger signals until disasters are very close is something I do for myself and with computers!

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:32 a.m.

Sally, I don’t know that song somwill look it up.

The Gardener

Feb. 16, 2019, 11:47 a.m.

Leah, you are too young! Children's favourites Saturday a.m. radio - Nelly the Elephant, Pedro the Fisherman, The Laughing Policeman, Pinky and Perky! The well-tempered clavichord etc. Peter Paul and Mary?

Ach UK

Feb. 16, 2019, 12:05 p.m.

@Leah, The song should be here it's a link to the YouTube site. https://youtu.be/TFJ3KayeUTc Takes me back a bit lol..

Molly

Feb. 16, 2019, 2:44 p.m.

Ach, thank you for your words and for the links, which will provide a bit of light relief today! Xx Gardener, I used to love the laughing policeman, you couldn’t fail to smile even on a bad day! Xx

Valerie

Feb. 16, 2019, 5:41 p.m.

Changing Guard at Buckingham Palace,The Big Rock Candy Mountain,I know an old lady who swallowed a fly,Teddy Bear's Picnic.Sparkie the Piano,Ugly Duckling.Those were the days! xx

Molly

Feb. 16, 2019, 6:15 p.m.

Gosh there are a few memories there Val :-) xx

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:02 p.m.

gardener no too young, just in another country. I do remember Bill and Ben the flowerpot men!!

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:03 p.m.

Valerie, ow I know all those songs, Poems.

Valerie

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:47 p.m.

Showing my age Molly! ***

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:56 p.m.

Me too Valerie, but oldies are often goodies. X

Molly

Feb. 16, 2019, 11:37 p.m.

The oldies are the best, we don’t get them like that anymore, and political correctness makes me mad xx

Anonymous

Feb. 16, 2019, 7:55 a.m.

Good to have you back on air, Leah. Missed you. Thank you for this. Chocolate is key to any solution! Go well.

Reply

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:34 a.m.

Anon thanks for your kind words but I last had a blog on 2 weeks ago!! I agree Chocolate works well.

Another Sally

Feb. 16, 2019, 7:11 p.m.

Hi Leah, good blog, as ever. With reference to all this chocolate talk, I don't want to put a downer on things, but I find that eating chocolate has an adverse effect on my mood. The problem is that weirdly the effects do not appear for a day or two, but it is definitely chocolate that does it. I find it hard to describe the symptoms, but a kind of weepy aggressive, hollowed out, plain unpleasant sensation. So, if anyone gets weird symptoms a couple of days after consuming chocolate, particularly sweet milk chocolate, beware. It took a while to trace the culprit, but I know I ought to avoid it. My current chocolate snack - seems to be ok - is a dark chocolate orange flavour rice cake. Do not seem to get the weird symptoms. Good because neither oh or daughter like orange flavoured chocolate! :-) Have enjoyed all recent blogs, so,thanks to contributors. Greetings to all who read this. Love, AS. xx

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:08 p.m.

Another Sally, Great to read your reply and glad you are reading the blogs. that is so interesting about chocolate. I only eat dark chocolate and a bitter one . Weepy is me on some days but not related to chocolate. it is fascinating that we all react differently to food or tea. if I have chamomile tea during the day I fall asleep. I hope you are well. Leah xx

Andy

Feb. 16, 2019, 8:04 a.m.

Chocolate eh? What kind of chocolate do you like Leah? White chocolate? Milk chocolate? Dark chocolate? Are you a Mars bar or a Twix kinda gal? Crunchie or an Aero bar? Me, I LOVE dark chocolate, the higher the cocoa content the better! Now, do you see what I've just done there Leah? I've focused in on one word, chocolate, and distracted you & your mind away from your issues. It's a distraction technique, but it's necessary. In my opinion & what helps me, is to realise that thoughts are just that - thoughts. Just random, transient thoughts. Most of which carry no weight or value. Or rather, as long as we don't allow them to carry any weight or significance. But we do have to do is quieten, silence & distract our minds. I know this is not always easy, but it's a habit that can be learned. For me, the language I use is crucial to good mental health. If you replace the word problem with challenge, then your mind just gets on with finding a solution. Defining an issue as a problem, to me, immediately makes the issue seem insurmountable. Or a battle that has to be won. It's not, it's just a challenge. And we can always find solutions to challenges. What helps me is meditation, a Keto diet, fresh air & walking. But crucially, my use of language, my inner dialogue, my self-talk. And if all else fails there's always chocolate! And a cuppa :-) I wish you well Leah, lots of love xx

Reply

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:38 a.m.

Andy thanks for your comment. Distraction I have been told is bad as I am easily distracted as I should be focusing and concentrating. it is so confusing, people say don’t be distracted by your thoughts and you say be distracted, no wonder I overthink!!

Valerie

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:44 a.m.

Hi Andy, I have never had bad chocolate except for Hershey bars.I got some Dolfin chocolate from a specialist shop in Oxford recently-Wow! xx

Oli

Feb. 16, 2019, 10:04 a.m.

Hi Andy, chocolate and keto is a challenge so you're lucky to like dark chocolate in that regard. I have a friend who keeps to a keto diet and she really misses milk chocolate but it's just not an option for her. @Leah, would it help to consider distraction and focus as just "things" that the mind can do? And so in a practice like mindfulness you can be focused, say, on something banal like breathing whilst being aware of the way the mind will continually be distracted; whereas in a practice like hypnosis you can, say, focus all your attention on an imaginary distraction to the exclusion of other distractions.

The Gardener

Feb. 16, 2019, 10:58 a.m.

Always heard about 'Hershey bar' no idea what they are - dark chocolate, definitely - used to love 'Aero'

Andy

Feb. 16, 2019, 1:42 p.m.

What I was getting at Leah was distracting the mind, not your thoughts. Your thoughts are your thoughts, but that's all they are. For example, if you were meditating & you were focusing on your breathing as Oli was saying, when a random thought pops into your head, you merely acknowledge it, notice it & then refocus your attention on your breathing. Or your mantra, as folk who practice Transcendental Meditation do. Does that make sense? I'm suggesting you not be distracted by your thoughts!

Andy

Feb. 16, 2019, 1:45 p.m.

There you go, a woman after my own heart! Bad chocolate? Pah! Although you're right, Hershey bars are pretty awful. The Americans are clueless when it comes to chocolate.

Andy

Feb. 16, 2019, 1:47 p.m.

Avoid Hershey bars or chocolate at all costs! Mmm, Aeros. Mint & Orange ones too :-)

Andy

Feb. 16, 2019, 1:59 p.m.

Great advice Oli. Maybe you just articulate it better than I did! To be honest, I didn't eat any chocolate when I started Keto last June & then after about 6 weeks I had some particularly fabulous dark chocolate. A couple of pieces and BOOM! the taste & effect was powerful! I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes on 1st June & shed 5 stone in 6 months with the Keto Diet. And reversed out of type 2 too, which was the main reason for going down the low carb, high fat, moderate protein route. Plus I no longer need or require to take antidepressants - for the first time in almost 30 years - something which would have been unthinkable but for Keto appearing just when I needed it last year :-)

Molly

Feb. 16, 2019, 2:55 p.m.

I must be the only person on the planet that doesn’t like chocolate! Well to be honest, I do not dislike it, but I don’t get the cravings or satisfaction others seem to get. I’m more of a savoury kind of girl! Although I do like a sweet cup of tea!

Valerie

Feb. 16, 2019, 5:47 p.m.

Then first time I went to America,I flung my case on the bed and sprinted down to the shop in the hotel,eager to try a famous Hershey Bar.Who buys this rubbish? A friend tells me that Indian chocolate is even worse.

Brum Mum

Feb. 16, 2019, 6:16 p.m.

Andy, I really liked your use of the word “challenge” rather than “problem”. I am facing a few challenges now I have read your comment but rephrasing then as challenges helps me realise that they are surmountable!!

Andy

Feb. 16, 2019, 7:54 p.m.

Cheers Brum Mum ? Of course they're surmountable, they're just challenges! Notice how you feel when you acknowledge you have an issue & you refer to it as a challenge. Conversely, notice how you feel when you label the self same issue as a problem. Emotionally & psychologically you feel totally different. And the mind does too when you change your language. It's just a computer, a bunch of programmes & it loves solving challenges!

Molly

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:02 p.m.

I too liked the word challenges rather than problems. Thanks Andy.

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:11 p.m.

Oli, Thanks for your suggestions. When I count when I breath I lose where I am up to as I am distracted. I feel overthinking and being distracted is part of who I am and the more people advice me not to be, the more i am! Does that make sense?

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:17 p.m.

Andy, I am very slow somyou need to be patient with me! my thoughts come form my mind so I don’t see a difference plus they distract me and always there like clothes in a washing,always being churned around and all tangled up. I must be the only person who has never heard of a kept diet. thanks for taking the time to explain. I feel people who can mediate or practice mindfulness will find it hard to u derstand someone like me who finds it impossible to just dismiss thoughts. if I could do that I would not need meditation or mindfulness in the first place. I do envy people like you and Oli or find mindfulness and mediation easy to follow. Leah

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:28 p.m.

Andy When I was teaching we would describe a student has having challenging behaviours which I felt was a euphemism for annoying behaviours and it didn’t make it any easier to help but they were a challenge. To me a problem and a challenge both can be solved We talk about problem solving as a skill we should have. I am not sure the two words can always be interchanged as some challenges are not a problem. I do agree words are powerful . maybe as I am in a different country where the words have slightly different meanings. thanks for bringing up this topic, a blog in itself. I am not sure if you see me as problem or a challenge!!!

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:59 p.m.

Valerie A nutriojistnonce said if you are going to eat a sweet or chocololate make sure it is good quality and special and enjoy it and don’t feel guilty as guilt is bad for one’s digestion.

Leah

Feb. 17, 2019, 12:13 a.m.

a nutritionist once said, maybe my predicative text needs to be turned off, if I only knew how.

Molly

Feb. 17, 2019, 12:22 a.m.

This is all a bit deep for me but I think there are several meanings of the word ‘challenge’. Depending on the context. I don’t think we can relate ‘challenging behaviours’ to what Andy was trying to say. I will try and explain the way i perceived it but I’m struggling! I think, for me, challenge kind of says ‘bring it on, I can beat this and get over the hurdle that life has thrown at me’ whereas ‘problem’ is much more negative and almost says you are stuck in the mud and there is no way out. Not sure if that helps or even if it’s what a I am trying to say! Think you are right about the difference with words and countries Leah. I certainly don’t see you as a problem but your comment above was quite challenging! Confused? Me too! Lol, Molly xx

Leah

Feb. 17, 2019, 9:52 a.m.

Thanks Molly for your reply which I found easy to understand. Having been a teacher , I don’t see a problem as negative but something to be solved, hence problem solving skills. If people feel better saying challenge and not problem and it helps them that is good. I see them words as interchangeable. We are lucky in English to have many choices of words. I think many inventors saw a problem and invented something to solve it. I don’t see anything negative in that, I am sure my exes saw me as a challenge but that’s another story for another day!!xx

Andy

Feb. 17, 2019, 11:53 a.m.

You're neither a problem nor a challenge Leah. You're a blessing xx

Molly

Feb. 17, 2019, 7:08 p.m.

Leah, what I have just realised in this thread of conversation, is that you are talking more about people rather than issues. So there can be a challenging person yes (who knows what that could mean, a number of things I guess, although I very much doubt you were one, you are too hard on yourself by far) but challenging events in life, and the hurdles we have to overcome, as (for example) being faced with losing a job, or medical issues etc. If we see it as a challenge, it can bring us some hope. If a problem can be resolved, then great, if not then maybe it’s best to see it as a challenge! Interchangeable yes of course! Just liked the theory, it did help me personally. Hope I have not upset you, I was just trying to understand the different views. Just another thought, whilst I am here, going back to people, for example children, challenging child sounds better than problem child? I’ve lost myself now. I have many challenges to face right now and I’m quite sure I am a challenge too, but I hope I’m not a problem xx

Andy

Feb. 17, 2019, 8:01 p.m.

You're also neither a problem, nor a challenge Molly. I hereby also confer upon you blessing status!

Leah

Feb. 17, 2019, 9:06 p.m.

Molly, that makes a lot of sense. I sometimes get stuck one way of thinking and even though Intry to see all sides I seem to get a bit stuck. I like the distinction between people and events. you are a great help in helping me See how some people see the difference between challenge and problem Thanks.Xx

Leah

Feb. 17, 2019, 9:06 p.m.

Andy, thanks for your kind words.

Molly

Feb. 18, 2019, 2:49 a.m.

Thanks Andy. See what you started!! Lol. Leah, I also get stuck and I go down a particular 'road' and get lost in myself and sometimes lose the whole point xx

Leah

Feb. 18, 2019, 8:57 p.m.

Molly, I wonder if my lack of direction and Geri g lost is a metaphor for my real,life as well. Seem to go down a real road and then get stuck where to turn next!! XX

Andy

Feb. 18, 2019, 11:42 p.m.

Molly, Leah, see what I started indeed! As a final comment on this problem/challenge conundrum, I should say that I seemed to have omitted a rather pertinent point. Well done Andy! My motivation for introducing the importance of language - apart from chocolate that is! - is that the mind, which is basically a computer, interprets the 2 words entirely differently. It's the mind which 'reads' the word problem as negative, problematic & difficult, whereas when it 'sees' challenge it just trawls the memory banks, looks for similar memories & experiences & goes looking for a solution. I don't know why I didn't mention that previously. It must have slipped my mind!

Leah

Feb. 19, 2019, 12:38 a.m.

Andy thanks for the clarification. Maybe my mind works in a different way but when I read problem I see something to be solved, a challenge even. I don't see a problem as negative. In maths we have problems to solve, in life we have problems to solve. That is how my mind works. Challenges to me are like problems they need to be approached and solved. Andy, can you see not everyone see a word in the same way depending on their experiences. The word flood will mean something different to a person who has lot their house in a flood to a person who has never seen a flood. Thanks again for the discussion.

Sally

Feb. 16, 2019, 8:09 a.m.

Such a good blog, Leah, and fits in with my current thinking that I need to reboot . For me, a change of scenery , definitely works . I am so looking for some diversion away from the same old same old.

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Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:41 a.m.

Sally Thanks for your blog. What scenery do you like ?

Molly

Feb. 16, 2019, 3:01 p.m.

A change is as good as a rest, as they say Sally. Are you able to have a little break away? I used to get a lift just by moving furniture around as the room would look different! Molly xx

Sally

Feb. 16, 2019, 6:26 p.m.

Leah, I love the Lake District scenery and always feelat home there. Molly, a mini break would be good and I’m working on it ! Thanks .

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:30 p.m.

Sally I went to the Lakes district many decades ago, it would be a Janice place to go. Mini breaks are great and even staycations, where you stay at home but do things as a tourist.

Ruth

Feb. 16, 2019, 8:19 a.m.

I had a "crash" yesterday. I overthink things too, especially in the night when I would like to sleep but my brain reminds me of the "mistakes" I made in the 45 years I have been on this earth! I am extremely tired. I was worried since my best friend told me she was going to the other side of the country to study. I felt I just could not cope without her, except I was afraid to tell her that as I did not want her to feel she could not go. My carer and my Mum kept telling me to talk to her. I scored my lowest on moodscope yesterday of 8%. I felt awful, lower than I have felt in a long time and wanted to do my "disappearing" act meaning to run away and hide somewhere. I wrote down everything I felt to delay this and eventually I got the courage to phone her. Turns out she failed to get in! I sobbed on the phone with much relief. Why had I not talked to her before? This is what I need to learn. I am learning to take of me - my resolution this year. This is just part of the learning. Overthinking is something very hard to learn not to do though. I have to say chocolate is the best go to though - dipped in hot chocolate!

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Ruth

Feb. 16, 2019, 8:20 a.m.

That should be take care of me!

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:41 a.m.

thanks for your comment Ruth. taking care of you is good, I am never sure where to start.

Molly

Feb. 16, 2019, 3:56 p.m.

Hi Ruth, I’m glad for your sake that your best friend isn’t going away. Our support network is so important. I hope this has improved your mood and will stop you doing your disappearing act! yes, take care of you, Molly xx

Sally

Feb. 16, 2019, 6:35 p.m.

Ruth, I meant to reply to you the other day on hearing you were low. It seems you’ve had an even worse time since. Sorry to hear that. I’m glad your worry about your friend resolved itself , for your sake. Take care, and keep sharing on Moodscope. We may not be able to solve all your challenges , but we’ll always try as Moodscopers. I agree about chocolate!!

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:33 p.m.

Ruth as you can see there are Poehler who care for you here like Molly, Sally and me and others. I hope the dipping chocolate helps. I used to runway when things go too hard too. It they were still there to be faced when I got back.

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 10 p.m.

My predicative text gets worse should be people in my first line.

LP

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:16 a.m.

Hi Leah, It takes me a good week or so to recover from getting overwhelmed by it all. I’m not better afterwards, just not so panicky and exhausted. Taking that time out if it’s possible to, helps give me space to rest, look after me, wait till I have the energy to make a difference to organising things so they flow a bit more easily. Usually one small job in a day keeps the bad feelings at bay, (“at least I did that and that’s fine considering I’m not supposed to be pushing myself.”). That’s my version of a reboot I guess. I’m finding it harder to get back into it these days too, so am thinking that I need to allow a week of taking it gently until I get back into the swing of it. That will take some doing because there’s a lot of pressure at work at the moment. I joined a lunchtime mindfulness group at work once. The guy leading it was so used to it, he seemed to be able to be fully mindful as he went about his day. In the present moment. What a wonderful escape it would be to have that much calm control. Not easy to achieve enlightenment I know! But the good thing about mindfulness is that at any given moment you can switch into it. It’s always there, just breathe and be as you go.... Thanks for your blog Leah. Sending peace and love to you and all. LP xx

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Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:43 a.m.

LP, Thanks for,your reply. A human reboot sounds like a helpful idea. I have never had any success with mindfulness but I know people really find it helps.

Valerie

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:51 a.m.

Hi Leah, When I am in a bad state nothing really helps except maybe an extra Prozac (don't tell my G.P) I did manage to get some grip on things this week when one of my dogs was unwell,but I am still not right.Taking a dear friend to lunch for her birthday today,and promised myself the rich chocolate dessert they do there.Hope it does the trick.Thank you for being so honest Leah,I often feel I have become really weak-willed,but anxiety is like flu,hard to shake off. xx

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Oli

Feb. 16, 2019, 10:16 a.m.

Hi Val, my anxiety tells me I am weak-willed too. I've ceased listening to it! Or rather, I know exactly what it's gonna say, I've heard it all before, and like a stuck clock it will be right at least twice a day (i.e. there are times when I definitely am weak-willed) but the rest of the time it's just Radio Anxiety playing the same old tracks. Sometimes it's loud; sometimes it's not. I've mostly got the hang of leaving it on in the background. Hope both you and the dog are okay! :-) x

Valerie

Feb. 16, 2019, 5:59 p.m.

Thanks Oli.Feeling a bit better,and trying to stop fretting..I know someone who has just started chemo for Stage 4,possibly just palliative,younger than me.That f*****g voice has been bawling at me,telling me I deserve to have something really serious to worry about.I will try and turn down the volume,.The temptation to bash the speaker (my head) on the wall is not something I will ever give into again! x

Sally

Feb. 16, 2019, 6:44 p.m.

Oh Val, commiserations. That voice sounds particularly uncaring and useless. Turn it off! No one deserves cancer or anything serious to happen to them. Havea nice conversation with yourself about all your positive qualities. Don’t forget the humour ! Xx

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:36 p.m.

Valerie, thanks for reply and I won’t tell your doctor. Sorry your dog was unwell. Are we weak willed or just honest and trying to cope? I am sorry about your friend and till that voice you are doing your best and change it to another channel!! Xx

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:38 p.m.

Oli, radio anxiety sounds annoying. I have radio grumpy, radio low self esteem and radio criticism !

Valerie

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:53 p.m.

Thanks love.xx

Valerie

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:55 p.m.

Yes,I get those on my wavelength too! Mind you,the BBC news is not exactly cheering lately either xx

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 10:01 p.m.

Valerie, I turn off the news in the morning and had to stop my partner reading me not so cheery news items when I woke up in morning!!

Oli

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:51 a.m.

I like the computer metaphor Leah because we've all had that experience with them. A reboot is sometimes all it needs but occasionally the program is corrupted and the machine gets totally stuck -- so that's an obvious analogy to how it feels when *we* feel totally stuck. Do the same, get the same. I don't think we can subtract from our behaviours. We can't remove old behaviour. One can't unlearn deeply learned patterns -- they will always be there (at least that's what I take some evidence to suggest). But I can learn new stuff. And this is where the computer metaphor gets iffy: Because with a computer you can wipe the old program and install a fresh new one -- but that's not how our mind works so that's where I stop thinking we are like computers. Which is useful because for me that dissolves the follow-on computer-like metaphors about faulty hardware, or inevitable crashes, and so on. For new behaviour to stick I think one first has to take account of the function of the old *stuck* behaviour (which isn't always obvious). For me, the big clue is that often my stuck behaviour will be (at a functional level) an attempt to avoid the experience of one or more of sadness, fear, or just occasionally anger. If I could go 23.5 hours without over-eating why was that last 30 minutes so difficult? It's not like I suddenly became hungry! Although that's what I felt. No, it was something do do with sadness. (Long story.) A bit of self-compassion went a long way to learning new behaviour on that one. Thanks for the blog Leah! :-)

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Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:43 p.m.

Oli, You know heaps about computers. I was just making an observation and as I know very little about computers I did not really know all about the complexities and how the metaphor would not always work. I think maybe it was an analogy not a metaphor. I Thanks for your points they made forinteresting reading .

The Gardener

Feb. 16, 2019, 11:01 a.m.

Perhaps I need a 're-boot' more like Dynarod, to clear my brain of the awful thing which happened at Christmas. SO many people on here, and among friends I respect, have dinned into me that it was unnecessary, untrue and cruel - it virtually destroyed my self-esteem - and though I am getting things done it's like a zombie, and I want to crawl back to bed and hide all the time. I need a 'forget it, snap out of it, get on with life,it's good. Thanks Leah xx

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Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:45 p.m.

Gardener, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I wouldn’t say to move on or snap out of it as I know how hard it is to do and how it affected you so much. I know how strong you are and hope the support you get here will help in some way. you are much loved and admired here and I could not imagine moodscope without you. Xx

Nicco

Feb. 16, 2019, 12:03 p.m.

Thanks for your blog, Leah. Unfortunately im not able to function at the moment - still looking for the 'off' button. Hope this lifts soon & my mood & nervous system gets back in sync as it's sooo scary.

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Ach UK

Feb. 16, 2019, 12:15 p.m.

Sending love Nicco and hoping you can feel able to reach out to someone near. XX Ach.

Nicco

Feb. 16, 2019, 3:47 p.m.

Thanks, AchUK - am hanging on by my fingernails at the moment & hoping it lifts soon as I've not had it this bad for some years.

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:47 p.m.

Nicco, I appreciate the time you have taken to reply when you are unwell. you have many people here thinking of you. Leah xx

Jul

Feb. 16, 2019, 4:59 p.m.

Hi Leah. I think I can only wind down and possibly re boot for a while in a room of my own a la Virginia Wolf. If I can escape from everyone for a couple of hours each day or when I'm feeling extra anxious, it usually helps restore some peace of mind. But I need to know I'm not going to be interrupted for at least an hour as it takes me so long to actually feel calmer. I am sure men and women all need space. Jul xx

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Molly

Feb. 16, 2019, 6:08 p.m.

Oh Jul, space indeed! I crave it. I don’t get it. Sometimes I stay up half the night just to get some. Thing is even then I can’t completely relax because my husband wants me in bed with him. Arghhhh. M xx

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:50 p.m.

Jul Thanks for your comment. I have always liked A Room of Ones Own by VW. Space is essential but some people don’t u derstanding and think that time alone means you are rejecting them . I go on a walk every day and my daughter says it is my mental health walk.

Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:50 p.m.

jul, Any idea oh how to explain the need for space to others? Great comment xx

Molly

Feb. 17, 2019, 12:39 a.m.

No amount of ideas for space will work for me. My house is small. Walks don’t work (I know they do for many) husband unwell so doesn’t go out, but he was rather clingy beforehand. I guess initially I lapped it up, but what I miss is just being able to potter about in my house on my own xx

Leah

Feb. 17, 2019, 1:16 a.m.

Molly, my house part is small but I have the shop. If ever I go down to the shop my partner follows. xx

Molly

Feb. 17, 2019, 1:48 a.m.

Are they like lap dogs that need attention? I’m saying that lightly as I’m aware we have our male friends on here! When I first got with husband before he was unwell, I asked him to go out for an evening, just one evening and within an hour he was ringing me asking if he could come home. I have tried to stress over the years how space is really important for me, but it’s one thing we have never really resolved xx

Melissa

Feb. 16, 2019, 5:01 p.m.

Hello Leah, Thank you for your post. My reboot strategy is talking to my sister and cousin (my soulmates), mindfulness meditation, and listening to songs of my youth. The music and my family tend to take me back to a time of no worries and nice memories. I've learned that it is okay to worry. The important thing is not to get stuck in the muck. Always reboot and reboot to keep going. All the best to you.

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Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:52 p.m.

Melissa, Thanks for sharing your ideas that hel yoou to reboot. You are lucky to have soul mates that help.

Brum Mum

Feb. 16, 2019, 6:22 p.m.

So sometimes a dog walk is enough to calm the mind but not always. My mind has been so busy and stressed recently I have taken some time off work...and although, initially I was upset, I needed to do this and it is giving me the time to slowly rest and gradually get my brain to slow down. As for the idea of a reboot, I really wish I could turn my brain off...but it’s not easy. I find doing physical exercise can help. I currently do a Pilates class and always feel calmer at the end. Thanks for a great blog, Leah.

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Leah

Feb. 16, 2019, 9:53 p.m.

brum Mum, thanks for sharing how you restart by taking time off work, ang giving you time to slowly rest. I am glad Pilates class works for you.

RC

Feb. 16, 2019, 11:12 p.m.

Hi Leah You have really hit the spot with today's blog. Switch off and re-boot? Have you tried switching it off and switching it on again as quoted many times in 'The IT Crowd' comedy series with Chris O'Dowd, Katherine Parkinson and the other geeky guy Richard O'Boyeard or something ( sorry mate :-( ) !! I've just found a new way that is helping me enormously which I gladly will share with all Moodscopers . I have a She Shed-my potting shed where I keep all and sundry for my little pocket hanky garden. Among the empty plastic pots, empty hanging baskets, cushions for my poor knees and a variety of bird food I have the following:- My reclining sun lounger upholstered in a blue and yellow stripe. Redundant in the winter I utilise it by lying back on it and lighting a scented candle. I put my Spotify tunes on and plug in my headphones....... Bliss!!Don't hear the phone, doorbell, kids screaming next door, traffic. I wallow in the peace and quiet of it all although it is right in the centre of a busy, large town with traffic in front and behind me. I especially love it on a cold winters night when the sky is clear and the stars are sparkling and the moon looks eerie. Wrapped up in a blanket with my Beanie hat and gloves and cashmere scarf and red coat on I just float off into meditation and reach the higher reaches of the cosmos. Then I fall asleep and wake up to the darkness and and foxes and cats fighting over the way. All this in my tiny She Shed; what more could I ask for? Total switch off... then I switch on again and re-boot., Just like you mentioned. Second best thing to re-boot? I prune and cut back shrubs and bushes. Give them all a short back and sides. Whoever/whatever has upset or annoyed me goes after I've chopped back everything in my garden. I've not even started on the front of the house!! And weeding helps me to destroy all the bad thought and stuff. Pulling out, stopping a plant or bulbs life from expanding or trailing or growing bigger and faster and stronger helps give me the strength to control my mind and those thoughts and imaginings and hopes and dreams that live there. There, I've said it. That's how I deal with re-booting my brain. It does'nt always work every time but its interesting trying and each time my ability to overcome my issues gets stronger. As Shakespeare said "Good or bad, thinking makes it so" A very wise man ahead of his time. Amen to that Night night all Have a nice Sunday if you can. I'm dog walking with a friend and her Jack Russell. Milo and Lady Lacey the Standard long haired shaded red Dachshund will have a whale of a time. And so will Emilia and I x

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Leah

Feb. 17, 2019, 12:26 a.m.

Rubyred, Thanks for you description of how you reboot and switch off in your she shed. It sounds very peaceful. I am someone wo can make artificial plants wilt, so I find gardening quite competitive and stressful!! I even managed to upset a succulent which I was told was impossible and I once ruined a plant that thrived on neglect!! I am glad it works for you. Leah

Molly

Feb. 17, 2019, 1:05 a.m.

Thank you RubyRed for your comments to me earlier and for this comment. You sound as mad as a hatter lying out on your sun lounger in the winter but there was something very peaceful about how you described it! Not sure I will try it but you can come and do my weeding anytime :-] Molly xx

Leah

Feb. 17, 2019, 1:14 a.m.

Probably a bit too far to come to do my weeding! I like the winter sub but I guess it is warmer than northern hemisphere's winter sun.

Ach UK

Feb. 17, 2019, 3:08 a.m.

Rubyred, what a lovely comment. What a smile I have on. -- "The beauty of the garden" , . . . I was out in mine yesterday. :))) - all afternoon, scrabbling in the weedy undergrowth and wrestling with brambles . . , beginning, slowly, to clear a small area for . . A She-shed !! -- just clipping away with my ancient secateurs and cat coming down to visit. My mind relaxing and the little quiet satisfaction when I see I am moving forward and building on ideas I've been sitting on for several years . : ))) Hands working with nature , yes I am in the middle of a big city too. Nature is immensely soothing. Even weeding and clearing lol. Determined now to make room in my She-shed for the sun lounger. ( later this year . . . got to get one erected first. Oh the peace, the peace. . . . The runaway train at rest, XX Ach. Thanks Rubyred.

Leah

Feb. 18, 2019, 9:01 p.m.

Ach, Thanks for your comment. I have just seen it. I like your descriptions. I can see how gardening can be soothing for many but just frustrating for me. I do have some lavender that has gone wild and people say I should prune it but I don’t want too as I like its wildness. also some Vietnamese mint that took over my herb bed and a curry plant. my plants grow I spite of me!! thanks again Ach. Leah xx

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