Stuck.

13 Mar 2018
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It started off as lovely walk along a beach I had never discovered before. The winter sun was welcoming and the the waves and the sparkling sand made me feel peaceful.

I sat on a concrete block and started chatting to my partner. I was laughing and smiing and I felt very relaxed.

On minute I am on sitting down and the next I am flat on the sand with my leg stuck under the concrete block. All I could think of was those movies where the actor had a leg or arm stuck under rock and the only way out was by cutting off the limb that was stuck. I worried I would dehydrate and die of starvation.

Have I mentioned how I tend to catastrophise situations?

So there I am with my leg hurting and stuck under a concrete block.

Partner has a hernia so can't lift the block and we scream out hoping someone understands English. It felt like it was hours and I was faint but I was told that in a few minutes a man came over and lifted the block. I was free. I was hoping there would be scars or at least an enormous bruise but there was nothing.

I did need to limp to gain sympathy for a few hours.

I thought about what happens when we are emotionally stuck. There is no one to lift up the block and set us free. No, we often stay stuck for a long time as we can't move on. We keep repeating the same behaviours. We find ourselves with a concrete block on our thoughts, our emotions, our past and we can not move so we are stuck.

How do we move that block? Often we will need help - it maybe through Moodscope by getting an idea from a comment or a blog, from talking to friends or a counsellor, doctor etc.

These things can help us to move on but we must be ready to let them help us.

Having a heavy concrete block on my foot was scary and painful, but being stuck with unhealthy behaviours or destructive thoughts can seem more overwhelming.

Are you stuck with your thoughts or behaviour - feel you have tried everything but still can't go forward?

Have you been stuck and then worked your way out?

Leah

A Moodscope member.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

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Comments

Jane SG

March 13, 2018, 2:30 a.m.

Hello Leah. I'm trying to picture how you went from sitting down to being trapped beneath the concrete block! I hope you did get lots of sympathy for your limp! So my answer is yes, stuck in the same behaviours nearly all my life, until these last couple of years when I have begun to change old behaviours. But it's scary and painful, sorry I feel like I should be putting a positive spin on it. However staying in old unhealthy behaviours is also painful. So at the moment I feel like I'm stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea. I'm going to carry on though as I believe that ultimately it will be worth it and that I will be happier for it. It's all connected to self esteem, or lack of, of course. Great blog Leah, lots of love ***

Reply

Leah

March 13, 2018, 7:43 p.m.

Thanks Jane for your comment. Glad you are changing and becoming unstuck, xx

Lex

March 13, 2018, 7:12 a.m.

Thanks, Leah... there's a sense of hope here in the midst of your wonderful word: catastrophise. I understand. I'm remembering when I thought I had internal bleeding... which turned out to be the beetroot crisps I'd had the night before (hmmmm...) What your message 'says' to me is to look for the lever. When we have a lever long enough, we can may not be able to move the world, but we can and will move that block. Have an awesome block-free day ***

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The Gardener

March 13, 2018, 12:21 p.m.

I don't think you are the only one who has ended up in A & E on the results of what you ate the night before. I am reminded of some drugs Mr G had once which had a red notice on the 'don't panic, you're not dying'!

Molly

March 13, 2018, 4 p.m.

Beetroot crisps! This made me smile. I had some bleeding not so long ago, turned out it was Percy the Pile, he likes to make an appearance now and again. Feel free to use Percy the Pile in your blogs Neil :-) xx

Leah

March 13, 2018, 7:43 p.m.

Neil, a lever - now why didn't I think of that? X

Leah

March 13, 2018, 7:44 p.m.

Gardener, Thanks for your comment. That was helpful notice.

Leah

March 13, 2018, 7:46 p.m.

Molly, your comment made me smile. In Australia Percy is part of the make anatomy!!xx

Molly

March 13, 2018, 11:54 p.m.

Leah, I think it is here too, I am sure this has been mentioned before. It was just a name I called my pile. Seriously, I am not joking - the thing comes out and drives me mad, then goes home again. Must live in Australia xx

Leah

March 14, 2018, 7:48 a.m.

Molly, I know you are not joking and it is a horribly annoying thing, Yes they do I've In Australia as well.xx

sharon

March 13, 2018, 7:21 a.m.

Hi Leah, Good blog. and yes I get stuck and tend to behave the way I have always behaved even though I know This doesn't help matters, but change is very scary and "what if I fail?!" but so what that's what its all about, baby steps and you have at least got to try, a friend once said to me "if you always do what you always do your always going to get what you always get" so just small changes at first are a step in the right direction, don't try and change everything overnight because you are setting yourself up to fail. so keep going Leah your doing great. love Sharon the brave xx

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Leah

March 13, 2018, 7:48 p.m.

Sharon thanks for your comment. I like the advice to change one thing not everything,x

DAVE

March 13, 2018, 9:06 p.m.

Hi Sharon the brave, That quote was first given by Eleanor Roosevelt the American President's wife, it was also used by Winston Churchill. But modifying it, it WILL read...... If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. Therefore change is vital and essential an antidote to complacency, if we want to become self confident,in control of our minds, and not VICE VERSA. We must always strive consistenly to improve ourselves, our routine and extricate ourselve OFF the sameness, the groove, little by little, precept upon precept. That way we will obtain an assurity that life will become interesting once again, and joy and peace of mind will replace, any negative thoughts. Dave XX.

Leah

March 14, 2018, 7:50 a.m.

Dave, Thanks for letting us know about the quotation.

Bearofliddlebrain

March 13, 2018, 7:36 a.m.

Wow, Leah, I too wonder what happened for you to end up under the concrete block?? Surely couldn’t happen in this health and safety conscious world of ours??!! Joking aside, any time I have felt trapped or scared for my self, OH or Baby Bear the time has slowed down to less than a snail's pace; minutes seem like hours; when we are in pain either physically - or mentally as with depression, those hours stretch to days, weeks and months. It’s not just catastrophising when you are in fear, whether for something tangible or not, your adrenaline is pumping, your whole body is in flight mode - but in your beach scenario as with our mental health - we can’t get free. The other point to remember is that if you’d had a huge cut on your leg that needed a bandage, or if you’d broken your leg (thank crunchie you didn’t) others would 'see' your pain and you would automatically receive sympathetic nods, even from strangers, or hugs and get well cards from friends and family. However, people don’t understand our mental state, the telltale signs aren’t always visible even to our closest and nearest and dearest....and even if we wore a badge saying 'I’m having a terrible time at the moment - please help me' they probably wouldn’t know how....we often don’t know how ourselves. I’ve had to learn to let go of stuff that doesn’t matter when Black Dog visits, I’ve had to be kinder to myself (which is hard) and I’ve had to rest. One of the hardest thInge is to say NO to all and sundry who ask anything of me...but that’s usually only when I’m really low! Oh and I’ve had to slowly train Mr. Bear and Baby Bear to help me in those times so at least we all get to eat!! Big Bear hugs to you, Leah and all who’d like one today xx

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Molly

March 13, 2018, 4:24 p.m.

Hi Bear, what I hate is when people say "well you look alright" and then on the phone "well you sound alright" or "you sound good". Basically, I won't talk on the phone if I am really unwell and then if I do, what am I supposed to do, cry all of the way through the phone call? Yes I think the badge idea would make people run a mile, I agree people do not know how to help as we do not know how to even help ourselves. More understanding would be nice, less judgement. Hug back to you xx

Leah

March 13, 2018, 7:49 p.m.

Bear, Than is for your comment.Letting go of stuff that does not matter when black dog visits is an importnat lesson .xx

DAVE

March 13, 2018, 9:15 p.m.

Dear Molly, you're such a trier, in your world I wish people could see the inside of you, the kind considerate, loving, gentle person that is really you..and for that matter all those who share their stories...We are the judge of ourselves, because we know ourselves better than anyone....So look into the mirror and say 2I'm a really lovely person, because the 'inside' is really where beauty lies, not always on the outside visible to all. Try positive afformations and start to change the negative view that which does not REFLECT exactly as we view ourselves in the mirror, it is different to those who see our countenance, so smile, a little grin to yourself. Love Dave XX.

Molly

March 13, 2018, 11:40 p.m.

Dave, you sure know how to make me cry, that first line, took me ten minutes to read the rest xx

Leah

March 14, 2018, 7:53 a.m.

Molly, more understanding and less judgment to ourselves and from others will help. Xx

Leah

March 14, 2018, 7:53 a.m.

Dave, that was so considerate and true what you wrote to Molly and it made me cry too. Xx

Orangeblossom

March 13, 2018, 7:48 a.m.

Hi Leah thanks for the blog and the anecdote which has started me thinking. Yes,it is easy to get stuck in a groove and remember past negative experiences. I haven’t visited my Mum on my own for 12 or 14 years and each time I have come away feeling depressed or angry. However, I am visiting her on my own this April. It may not be great, but I shall practise mindfulness and try to focus on her positive qualities. A challenge in itself!

Reply

Molly

March 13, 2018, 4:15 p.m.

This is a tricky situation Orangeblossom. I only have to speak to my mum on the phone and she upsets me and usually leaves me in a bad mood. She cannot help it. She just always says the wrong thing or comes out with stupid things that I cannot tolerate. I know I need to be more tolerant with her but it gets to the stage where I feel it is best for me if I do not speak to her or see her, then I feel guilty. Is the trip to see your mum necessary? Or do you feel guilt like me? My issues go back a long way, as I expect yours do, so I think the resentment already embedded makes me even more intolerant. She now blames her age and tells me she will be dead soon. Molly xx

The Gardener

March 13, 2018, 5:27 p.m.

Hi Molly. My ma was scared of the phone, luckily. My mum did not say the 'wrong' thing, just that she talked for the sake of talking, my pa and I were wicked, had a bet on which platitude would come first. And always 'you will be careful, won't you', and if travelling 'there's trouble out there'. As she never read a newspaper or watched news on TV, she had not a clue what was going on. I'd go more and more silent, crossing off the days to her departure.

Molly

March 13, 2018, 6:33 p.m.

Hi Gardener, I can relate to this, talking for the sake of talking. I dislike phones and small talk. My mum gabbles about anything that comes into her head, usually interrupting me if I try and speak, so I too go silent. I'm not good at making the right noises in the right places when she is talking aload of irrelevant rubbish xx

Leah

March 13, 2018, 7:50 p.m.

Orangeblossom, Thanks for your comment. I wish all the best in April and it is a big step. Xx

Leah

March 13, 2018, 7:51 p.m.

Molly, Thanks for your comment to Orangeblossom. The mother daughter relationship is tricky and I suppose each person works out what works for them. Xx

Leah

March 13, 2018, 7:54 p.m.

Gardener,I have been guilty talking for sake of talking especially if there are long silences, Thanks for your comment.

Leah

March 13, 2018, 7:56 p.m.

Molly, your ost made me smile and a bit sad ,, because I think my duaghter feel like you do at times xx

Molly

March 14, 2018, 12:05 a.m.

Believe me Leah, you are nothing like my mother and every situation is different so please do not think that - I will do a blog on my mother, maybe Blossom can join me, Leah you are not a bad mother xx

Leah

March 14, 2018, 7:55 a.m.

Molly, that is so sweet but in my duaghter's eyes at times she finds me wanting as a mother especially in the past.If that is her reality there is not much I can do to change but to encourage her to move on and enjoy the present.

Dragonfly

March 14, 2018, 9:27 p.m.

I have the same problem with my son Leah. I know I wasn't the mother I wish I'd been but he's so full of animosity towards me. Its desperately sad x

Leah

March 16, 2018, 8:59 a.m.

Dragonfly, I am sorry about your son too. We tried our best. I just can't change the past but only the present and the future.

Leah

March 13, 2018, 8:08 a.m.

Hello moodscopers, I am travelling today so won't be able to comment till later tonight as I am being 'encuraged' (read shouted at!) to pack by my partner so I need to go. 3rd Paragraph seat should read One miniunte I am sitting on concrete block ... How it happened was unknown me to At the time but I shifted my weight on the front of the block which was smaller than the back , and hence I fell onto sand, leg trapped. I do not understand but partner says that was what happened. !! The shouting is getting louder!! Bye. Leah xx

Reply

Jul

March 13, 2018, 8:49 a.m.

Hello Leah. Thank you for the explanation about how you came to be stuck under the concrete.I would have been wondering about this all day. I have been stuck in a rut many many times and blaming external things for my inner turmoil when actually I should have stepped back and looked at the issues from other angles. I am doing this these days but it's taken a long time of being stuck. I think your blog today will help many of us to explore other reasons for our low moods other than the almost comforting one which we have blamed for so many years but which perpetuates our mental states. Safe travels today. Jul ***

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Molly

March 13, 2018, 4:33 p.m.

Hi Jul, Depression is a liar. People ask what is wrong, "it must be because of this" or when something goes right, "you must feel better now". I have obsessive thoughts about past events, and have to remind myself, it is not them that is the problem, it is my depression, the strange thing is when a new issue arises to obsess about, the last one lessens and so it goes on, there will always be something to replace it. Then on the rare occasion I am not depressed (more and more rare these days) I wonder why on earth I was obsessing about these things. Molly xx

Leah

March 13, 2018, 7:58 p.m.

Hello Jul and thanks for your post. You have insight into why you are stuck, I sometimes lack that. Xx

Leah

March 13, 2018, 7:59 p.m.

MOlly, I can relate so much to what you say. The bit about obsessing the moving onto a new thing is somethingI do a lot. Thanks for you your contributions to my blog, they are helpful. Xx

Sally

March 13, 2018, 10:01 a.m.

Hi Leah , why is it OHs think shouting helps with packing? I get more laid back about packing, he gets more stressed than ever. Hope destination is good and enjoyable . I must admit that I too was trying to imagine that concrete block and how it could fall! Talk about getting sidetracked by the detail! I describe my low mood as a state of treading through treacle . So the concrete block image is apt. How to shift? Personally, nowadays, I wait and let time pass. Some days I rage or despair, others I resign myself to just doing what I can. On days I have to do something I can’t get out of, I feel the pain, though. And fear I’ll never be able to get the “ concrete block” off. The “help” comes in the form of a sudden shift in my brain. No other intervention. It just is.

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Leah

March 13, 2018, 8 p.m.

Sally, - treadin through recall!! I can't get that image out of my mind! Thanks for your comment. Xx

RC

March 13, 2018, 8:04 p.m.

I do the same Sally. I’ve tried everything over the years but rest and going with the flow is the only way. I worry that I will never be myself again but eventually ( usually 4 months ) something in my brain, like yours, shifts and I’m back to me. Until the next time..... Bipolar is such a bummer

Leah

March 14, 2018, 7:57 a.m.

Lacey, Thanks for your comment. I used to worry and sometimes think what is myself .

Sally

March 15, 2018, 8:24 a.m.

Yes, it is, Lacey. Catches you unawares, sabotages plans and projects, gives a false impression of everything and everyone at times , too. I know my judgement is impaired. Grrrr!

Sharon

March 13, 2018, 10:52 a.m.

Thank you for your brilliant blog, Leah. I don't often comment, but feel compelled to engage today and going forward. I too have been stuck for quite some time (spinning on my axis mostly), but one of the things I know helps me and I plan to do more of to get my 'answers' is to meditate. I think often the answers and way forward are within us...I have tended to focus and seek help/guidance externally and nothing has really changed, so my new plan is to look within. And sit down and be HONEST with myself about what fulfils me and what doesn't. I'm hoping it's the positive start I desperately need. It's so interesting and helpful to read the words and suggestions of other, so thank you all that take the time to comment :) x

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Leah

March 13, 2018, 8:02 p.m.

Sharon, Thaks for commenting, I appreciate it. I try to be honest about myself but it does not work all the tim.e.

The Gardener

March 13, 2018, 12:37 p.m.

The nearest I have been to being trapped was stuck in mud. ITV were coming to film on our farm - which was being restored to agriculture from gravel pits. It was an August morning, and a freak storm came up, so dark that all the lights came on in London. The Director suggested to the camera-man that he get some shots of the lightning, never before seen. But the camera-man was under the office desks with the rest of us. We eventually went to film - in a superb crop of calabrese. I walked into the crop, and sank half way up my wellies. '***' could you move two yards to your right?' Not without a crane, got out somehow. My stone is very heavy, it is called 'terror of old age'. 4 months of awful weather,provoking pains everywhere, seeing the state of people at the care home, and 3 years dealing with Mr G seem to have ended up with what I have been warned about, complete exhaustion. This morning, as usual, I thought 'nothing to get up for' and settled down again. But the terrace was light! No rain! So I washed my hair, rushed through unavoidable chores and off to the 'other' house garden. I mountaineered up the compost heap, dug, raked, swept. Results! I thought, 'this is going to hurt' but at the moment it doesn't. So, old age comes to us all, but, this morning, the 'scary' stone is lighter. Thank you Leah xx

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Mary Wednesday

March 13, 2018, 2:21 p.m.

Oh, I can just see you doing all of that. Sending hugs and hoping the aches stay away.

Leah

March 13, 2018, 8:02 p.m.

Gardner, thanks for your entertaining and thoughtful post

Mary Wednesday

March 13, 2018, 2:24 p.m.

My stone/rock is inertia. I dread actually doing something new. I suppose, the fear of failure. I have been set the challenge of organising two events for my business in the next 6 weeks - and I feel as if I were stuck in congealed treacle. But if you said to me - organise a murder dinner party, then I would be leaping up and down in excitement because I know how to do these and know that they will be a success. So - fear. It don't half paralyse you!

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Leah

March 13, 2018, 8:04 p.m.

Mary thanks for your comment. I am not good with change so I can relate too.

Lexi

March 13, 2018, 3:33 p.m.

I was about to write along the same lines as Mary! Fear is what gets me stuck. But often it's like the cartoon character, who is falling off a cliff and is screaming at the top of her lungs with her eyes shut tight, only to open one slightly to see that she is only hanging six inches above the ground. The fear is so much more than the thing itself for me. Once I get going on something, usually it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Loved your post today Leah. A wonderful metaphor for moving past what gets us stuck. Blake's mind forged manacles come to mind as I write this. xo Lexi

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Leah

March 13, 2018, 8:05 p.m.

Lexi, thanks for the comment. Fear can get one stuck but can also help get one unstuck.

Molly

March 13, 2018, 5:11 p.m.

Leah, I feel this blog was meant just for me. I have never felt so stuck in my life. I see no way out, but convince myself there must be a way, I just have not found it yet. Life throws many problems at us, but what happens when you do not know if you are well enough to work and you don't know how you are going to pay the bills. When your house needs attention but you dare not spend any money on it as you are about to run out. When you are stuck in a rut, wanting much change, like a fresh start but have no way or means of doing it. When all your days start rolling into one. When you lose contact with friends and family because they just do not understand or have any respect for you anymore. When you cannot even be bothered to shower or do the housework and then it makes you feel even worse. When eating just makes you feel sick, so you get weaker and weaker. Then I read your last sentence. And I remembered something. I had been stuck before. It was many years ago when I was just 17. That's another story in itself, which I am sure I have told on here before. I feel some light. If I did it back then, I can do it again. Molly xx

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Bearofliddlebrain

March 13, 2018, 5:32 p.m.

Bravo Molly....you did do it back then and you CAN do it again now xx

Lexi

March 13, 2018, 5:53 p.m.

You can do it again Molly. I have faith in you, even if you don't see it yourself just now. Just hold on to that light. xo Lexi

Molly

March 13, 2018, 7:04 p.m.

Thank you Bear and Lexi. Having suffering with a cold and bad chest, and feeling awful physically, it makes my mind think more clearly, even if I am spaced out. This is strange because back when I was 17, it was a physical illness (much worse than a cold) that got me out of that situation. I'm not sure if anyone will know what I mean, but is that how self harm works, in some respects, as the physical pain helps alleviate the mental pain. Complex issue I know but just sharing my thoughts xx

Leah

March 13, 2018, 8:07 p.m.

Molly, It is such an awful feeling molly and hope you find a way out. That is true if we have dome it before but e can do it again but it is hard so,metimes to hang on to that small hope. Xx

Leah

March 13, 2018, 8:09 p.m.

Molly, you are writing about something very important, I had pneumonia once and it helped me with my depression, It was a slow process. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Xx

RC

March 13, 2018, 8:14 p.m.

Molly, you are so right. Life’s problems can seem insurmountable at times but you remembered that you overcame difficulty before and you can do it again. Believe in yourself and keep chatting on Moodscope as we are all here to help each other Take care x

Molly

March 14, 2018, 12:13 a.m.

Thank you so much Lacey xx

Leah

March 14, 2018, 7:59 a.m.

Lacey, thanks for your helpful comment to Molly and reminding us all that we can overcome difficulty again and again. Xx

The Gardener

March 13, 2018, 5:35 p.m.

Am almost in the same situation as you, Molly - like a cornered rat at the moment. I have never actually been 'stuck' before, could always work, borrow, talk, walk a dog, do the garden. But light 'dawned' today, got up and gardened, joy. I did say yesterday, after a hospital visit, talking to a lady who will never garden again, or have a dog, that I have my 'freedom' no price able to be put on that. Since Mr G was finally hospitalised, eating was such a bore - and I find that if I get myself something really tasty in the evening, I feel much better. Molly, often here the phrase 'this too shall pass', hope this will come true. xx

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Molly

March 13, 2018, 7:21 p.m.

Dear Gardener, cornered rat sounds like a good description. Thank you for your kind words. I cannot physically eat unfortunately, not helped by my cold and cough. But it's been going on a while regardless. I used to love food, one of life's pleasures, also taken away from me. Get the violins out. Thanks for trying to help and for your hopes for me, I appreciate it and I have the same hopes for you xx

Leah

March 13, 2018, 8:10 p.m.

Gardener, I am glad you dont eel as much like cornered rat. Your post was very descriptive.

Ach UK

March 13, 2018, 7:50 p.m.

Hi Leah, that was a lovely blog. I've never trapped my foot under a stone but I did fall down a ramp once and find my foot underneath the canoe I was carrying which was horrible. I can't say much today my brain is very tired this evening and so I would like to send my best wishes hugs some loving thoughts to everyone so many of you today are obviously having a grotty time and Gardener is correct 'this too shall pass' but sometimes it's a bit slow on the going ! so just lots of love and I hope you will sleep better tonight, - tomorrow will be a new day XX Ach.

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Leah

March 13, 2018, 8:12 p.m.

Ach, thanks for your comment. I am sorry your brain is tired. Thanks for your hugs to people who need them

Leah

March 13, 2018, 8:14 p.m.

Thanks everyone for your great comments. There is always time add a post or comments to comments. Along discussion is always helpful. Leah xx

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RC

March 13, 2018, 8:29 p.m.

Thanks Leah for your inspiring words.im thinking of how far I have come in the last few months and realise that shifting that concrete stone CAN be done...it just takes time and lots of patience. All the best to those struggling to be strong enough to shift that stone; believe in yourself. x

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Leah

March 14, 2018, 8:18 a.m.

Lacey, Thanks for comment . It is great that you now realise something can be done. X

DAVE

March 13, 2018, 9:20 p.m.

Hi Leah, There you are minding your own business, looking out to sea and taking in the beauty of the sun upon your face, and all of a sudden your foot gets hooked under a concrete block... How on earth did you manage to get into that predicament Leah, are you generally accident prone or was it a one off... It must have been painfull, but your blog stretches the imagination and I could only see the funny side of you shouting out to foreigners, you really must have been quite scared. Next time get your partner to carry a crowbar with him...just in case ! ! Dave XX.

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Leah

March 14, 2018, 8:21 a.m.

Dave, I am clumsy and accident prone- what can I say. WhenI talk I forget what is happening. . Thanks for your concern.

Dragonfly

March 14, 2018, 1:44 p.m.

Dear Leah, I like your analogy of physical stuck-ness being similar to emotional stuck-ness. I never really liken the two but with the former, I'd certainly ask for help. As we do when it's a visible illness rather than emotional or mental pain. It's all a bit mixed up really, isn't it? I am most definitely stuck and all the mindfulness and meditation in the world doesn't seem to help as I soon revert to type - my overthinking mind. However I've just started counselling and have felt a glimmer of hope that I can become unstuck. I think it's a long process because I can see lifelong patterns emerging, and a few days after the counselling all my good intentions and positivity start to fade again. But I'm going to stick with it and hope to come out the other side - unstuck! x

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Molly

March 14, 2018, 5:09 p.m.

Dragonfly, I have generally felt like that with counselling in the past, I feel quite good afterwards but it never lasts, I think we probably need counselling every day for the rest of our lives! But good luck with yours. I haven't found anyone suitable for a while and now I cannot afford it so I am quite reliant on Moodscope and any other friend who is prepared to listen! Molly xx

Leah

March 14, 2018, 8:06 p.m.

Dragonfly, Thanks for your reply. Good luck with the counselling.

Leah

March 14, 2018, 8:13 p.m.

Molly, counselling everyday for the rest of my life- there goes my children's inheritance!! I think I need a counsellor on speed dial . A friend who will listen and not judge is importnant xx

Dragonfly

March 14, 2018, 9:41 p.m.

Thanks to you both for your good wishes. Yes daily counselling! I was referred for NHS counselling IAPT - (Improving Access to Psychological Treatments) last May when I was desperate. In Jan/Feb of this year I had 4 sessions of Brief Intervention; basically CBT delivered by handouts and some input by the support worker. My current counselling is through a local Women's Project so it's free. It starts with 12 sessions with the option for review and more sessions. The therapist said that from her point of view it's quite open ended, so I'm hoping that finally someone will stick with me. Perhaps there's something similar local to you Molly x

Molly

March 14, 2018, 5:44 p.m.

I woke up today and felt lighter, clearer. It won't last but it feels nice. I'm trying to keep with it - as soon as those negative thoughts emerge, I have managed to push them away. Supportive comments on here and you reminding me of the place I had been in before, not the depression but the feeling of being completely trapped in a situation, I have decided there will be a way out, there will be an answer. I have no clue what it is, but somehow it is going to happen. I thought of Neil's 'possibilities' and Gardener's gardens. I pretended I was sat there and listened to the birds singing. Spring is soon here, always helps. Molly xx

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Leah

March 14, 2018, 8:14 p.m.

Molly, What a very descriptive and clamingpost. You are a talented rite who is goodat expressing emotions. Thanks. Xx

Leah

March 14, 2018, 8:15 p.m.

Not sure what a claming post - maybe better than a calming post. Leah xx

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