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June


Stuck. Saturday June 28, 2014

I've recently been particularly low with my constant companion anxiety gnawing away at me during the day and frequently in the early hours too. However as the good weather has arrived and I've dragged myself from beneath the cosy duvet of a morning, my recently created Happiness tracks have nurtured and challenged me in equal measure.

'Stuck in a Moment' that amazing track by U2 which I'm sure has been referred to here before, has really begun to mean something deeper than some thoughtful words put to an amazing tune. It's become a deeply personal track and feels as if Bono was reading my mind! I must have heard it hundreds of times but it's only today it's finally clicked.

Last time I listened to it I sobbed for the entire length of the track and felt utterly bereft. But today something different happened, I realised I was no longer stuck. The constant rumination that plagues me over and over again, not being able to get past certain events, watching the film on repeat in my head, was gone. My inner voice, my critical me has taken a holiday for which I'm very glad. The 'if only, why didn't you, you should'...ticker tapes have stopped and I can think more clearly and feel a weight lifting.

Despite the intensity and the sadness of the track, I love the crescendo and the uplifting words at the end.

On the darkest days remember it is just a moment, it will pass. It may not be today, tomorrow or anytime soon but one day you'll realise you're no longer stuck.

Eleanor
A Moodscope member.


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Comments

Vicky Sat, Jun 28th 2014 @ 10:46am

Ah Eleanor, I had to scribble a quick reply before dashing out.... Yes, this particular track is very special to me too. The lyrics resonate strongly with me. I often find myself "stuck in a moment" and try to remind myself of this song, to encourage me. I take solace from it, as it indicates I'm not alone in this problem! I can't imagine Bono getting particularly stuck but the fact they wrote such a song is very comforting. I admire how you managed to turn it around for yourself. Sometimes I think we have "lightbulb" moments - when we glimpse something profound, that changes our perception, or just shifts it a tiny bit. Often that is all it takes. You have inspired me to dig the CD out again, and give it another listen. Perhaps I should download it onto my Mp3 for regular reminder! Like you, my inner critic is tough and relentless, it starts the moment I wake, and doesn't shut up until I go to sleep, often resurfacing in the wee hours when its voice is especially loud....I'm in a bleak pattern of waking with sense of dread, every morning. But that too can be a moment, and I can try and break free of it, instead of dragging myself out of bed, with it clinging to my heels. Instead of the usual negative ruminating anxiety that follows I shall try to dust myself down and start again... however many times it takes! It occurs to me this is similar to the premise of Mindfulness which I'm trying to get back into practicing - bringing myself back to my breath, over and over again, each time my mind wanders, which it does constantly, yet instead of feeling a failure, I've learned to accept that this is the hub of Mindfulness - it is in the noticing its happened - maybe same with that "moment" I get stuck in....??

Anonymous Sat, Jun 28th 2014 @ 11:08am

Nice post Eleanor. This is one of my dessert island tracks also. Wonderful tune. And Vicky, whenever you comment, it sounds just like me. ;o) Thanks ye both xx

Anonymous Sat, Jun 28th 2014 @ 1:17pm

I have that very same stuck feeling!

Anonymous Sat, Jun 28th 2014 @ 1:56pm

Eleanor leads the march. Rich and The Magic begin. John and Yoko are happy, because we have given peace a chance. Pass it on.

vicky Sat, Jun 28th 2014 @ 4:34pm

oh thanks Anonymous, that's very gratifying, and yes, I know what you mean, as some people here echo my thoughts exactly. Glad I'm not alone!

heather Sat, Jun 28th 2014 @ 4:49pm

Must look it up on YouTube immediately

heather Sat, Jun 28th 2014 @ 5:12pm

I am replying to myself ! Yes I watched and listened to it on YouTube - very powerful ! Whilst I was there I also listened to my old favourite "Both Sides Now" Joni Mitchell's original. It reminds me of the long summers before my bipolarness was detected and how I loved that song and used to sing it to my children. For me it clearly depicts my bipolar moods.

Anonymous Sat, Jun 28th 2014 @ 11:28pm

Stuck in a Moment is just gorgeous! It holds a precious memory for me. It marked my struggle to be a mum and how I felt a failure. I would play this song on repeat, around 6/7pm as i cradled my colicky baby alone in the darkness of winter. Fast forward all these years and I have not failed but I have to fight every half hour to convince myself. Mmmm. That needs addressing. But for now...thank you...I really love this song and I'm off to play it before sleep comes. Night all. Love from the room above the garage.

Anonymous Sun, Jun 29th 2014 @ 1:31am

A beautiful post; thank you for having the strength to be so open and vulnerable. It's a great song, too. I'd never really listened to it before...

Anonymous Sun, Jun 29th 2014 @ 7:16am

Thank you! Lovely blog. Made me smile this morning and reach for my headphones! Music ON, world OFF :)

Anonymous Sun, Jun 29th 2014 @ 8:20pm

Your blog helped me on a difficult day. Thank you x

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