It's been a while since my last blog. I've been away on holiday. Now you all probably think, wow that's great! But you know what, I found it quite stressful and a big reason for this is I spent a lot of the time with my partners family abroad... they are great but I'm overwhelmed with it all as I'm not fluent with the language and can't really communicate that well, I just sit and watch and my mind wonders to the negative as to what is being said.
I don't know how to relax about it all, it just seems hard work trying to fit in... well it's all in my head! On top of that since starting a new position at work, suddenly a much higher position has come around in the team and I feel it's created competition to the point where people are trying their best to stand out and just making things awkward. Also being away for 10 days and coming back, a lot has changed so it seems like I've been a little left behind.
Can't stand the way my mood changes quickly from day to day, I just can't explain it. I can be okay with things in general one minute and then something small can easily upset me and then it seems I can go into a spiral of self doubt, worry and general depression.
Will I ever feel like myself again or even normal...
Hope you are all well.
A Moodscope member.