[To view a video of this blog post please click here: https://youtu.be/wahCRJe0kro]
Some people say, “Sorry!” an awful lot.
I can go one better, I grew up in Sorry… Dorking, Sorry to be precise.
Of course, the tourists call it, “Surrey,” but we locals know it as, “Sorry.”
Dorking, Sorry, is the epicentre of sorriness. Its mascot is a genetically-distorted Cockerel – with an extra-toe. Mutated and selectively bred for Cock-Fighting… sorry!
Joking aside (Surrey, after all, is very beautiful for the most part and I had an extremely privileged childhood even if I chose not to enjoy it!), joking aside, most of us say, “Sorry!” inappropriately, disempoweringly, and all too frequently.
The very lovely Linda Parkes (who I always call, “Linda Sparkes,” in my mind because she gives off so many smiley sparkles of joy) shared with me some magical transformations from “sorry” to something better. I thought we might try them for a spell.
These magic words were originally from an Instagram post, though the graphic was so tiny, I can’t read the source. If you’re out there, ping me and we’ll give you the credit due.
It’s called, “Stop apologising, start thanking!”
“I’m sorry I’m late,” becomes, “Thank you for waiting for me!”
“I’m sorry for being so sensitive,” becomes, “Thank you for accepting me just the way I am!”
“I’m sorry I always mess up everything,” becomes, “Thank you for being patient!”
“I’m sorry that you have to bail me out so often,” becomes, “Thank you for always being there for me, and for supporting me. Your kindness is deeply appreciated.”
“I’m sorry for talking about me and my problems so much,” becomes, “Thank you for listening to me!”
“I’m sorry for being so difficult to love,” becomes, “Thank you for being so loving!”
“I’m sorry for being me,” becomes, “Thank you for being you!”
I love the way all of these shift the focus from us to them. They become the heroes, and that’s easy for both us and them to feel good about. If we focus on the problems that we’ve caused and they are helping us with, we stay stuck in the sorry-state of the issue at hand. When we shift to the solution they are supplying they can feel good… and we all remember how others make us feel.
That sounds like the perfect reason to share one of my favourite quotes from Maya Angelou…
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Make them feel great by saying, “Thank You!” (not, “Sorry!”)
A Moodscope member.