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20

June


Seven years bad luck...and counting. Saturday June 20, 2015

I used to bemoan not having a full length mirror anywhere in my home, not that I am particularly vain, but that it did often mean I went out inappropriately dressed! A stain on my clothes unnoticed or shoes that did nothing for the outfit, etc. So I bought myself 4 square self-stick-on mirrors and applied them to the wall next to my wardrobe.

A few weeks later, not one but all four of my stick-on mirrors unstuck themselves and fell to the floor, breaking on the hard tiled surface below. Now is that seven or twenty eight years bad luck? When I am feeling good it's easy to pooh pooh superstition, but the way my life has been these past five years I really wonder!

It seems as though ever since those four broken mirrors I have had nothing but bad luck. Everything I touch seems to turn to dross. Even positive things turn in on themselves and bring me down. Perhaps take me even further down, once I have been 'up'.

I decided that I was making bad decisions, but it's really hard to be objective as opposed to emotional when feeling low. So the question I am now asking myself is "Was it all my fault?" Of course we always think it is, but surely not all of it?

It started when my husband and I split up after 30 years of marriage and I felt really low and worthless. I must have cried for a year. Friends and family were supportive but that support grew thinner the longer I wallowed in self-pity. It was during this period that the 'bad luck' started.

Thankfully time has blocked out memories of some of the smaller, frustrating, annoying and at the time downright depressing things that happened and I am counting on time to ultimately remove the bad memories of the bigger badder stuff. I do worry though that I have got into a downward spiral and will compound the misery I pile upon myself and hoping, beyond hope, that it's only two years to go and not twenty three more years of bad luck!

I wish I had an inspirational thought, idea or suggestion to share with all you kind people who so generously share of your own but I don't - yet! I just keep building on myself, using the ups to balance out the downs, looking for inspiration elsewhere, trying to be proactive and making sure I don't spend too much time alone.

Alice
A Moodscope member.



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Comments

Di Murphey Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 3:54am

My dearest Alice ~
You sound so very wise and grounded yet full of good cheer.

From the Global Love Project I send you the following for inspiration: (http://globalloveproject.com/2013/01/20-epiphanies/)

"From wounds can come wings, from depths can come heights, all can be opportunity for your life to take flight."

"In letting go you can only ever win, if something’s for your best it will come back, else something better will."

You are loved, lovable, and deeply worthy of all life has to offer, always.
Di

Sophbrad Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 6:29am

Hi, my name is Sophie and this is my first post.
Alice, thank you so much for your story. Every thing that Di said is true and I won't add to it. She nailed it.
I had a thought that *might* help, which is that you can turn the superstition on its head. I have trained myself to think that breaking a mirror, walking on the cracks in the pavement, seeing a magpie etc are good luck. When bad things happen I think, "It's a good job I broke that mirror, otherwise it would have been even worse!" Honestly, superstition is twaddle, but it can be comforting in hard times.
Sophie

Pennie-Lynn Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 7:39am

I personally do not think that breaking mirrors started a run of bad luck for you. It is the nature of depression to emphasize the bad and minimize the good. We are surrounded by as much good luck as bad, but we have, subconsciously with our thoughts, coloured the bad with fluorescent yellow paint.

The Entertrainer Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 9:27am

Dearest Alice... if a mirror can harm, then another mirror can heal.
Your friends here on Moodscope can hold up a healing mirror for you to see yourself through today.
Looking into this gracious glass, you must just hear our whispered words, "Alice, you are loved; Alice, you are lovely; Alice we love you..." and change can begin for the better from this magic moment forth... for seven years even up to twenty-eight years.
L'xx

Dave Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 10:04am

Hi Alice,
I feel for you, you've been to hell and back. It.sounds as though you're struggling to regain some of your confidence you once had as a married woman. Forest Gump once said...."Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get". we all get a fair share of adversity, some get much more. Broken mirrors are only for the imagination. You were not responsible, the surfaces, in relation to the type of adhesive were clearly at odds.
Stop looking in the rear view mirror of life' in a low mood it will ALWAYS reflect pain and suffering....Don't look ahead as you are only able to assume or speculate, (which upon arrival at that distant point viewed from the past) will only cause you to feel DISAPPOINTED Mat not achieving the vision which you supposedly foresaw !
In other words...YESTERDAY was HISTORY, TOMORROW is a MYSTERY, but TODAY is a GIFT...That's why they call it the PRESENT.
Noreen is a sweet lady who's wheelchair bound, her garden is full of weeds and grass a foot high, the flowerbeds are all choked with weeds.....When Noreen comes out of her house when we collect her to go to the MS Society Day Centre, she points to the only flower visible in bloom, "Isn't that beautiful", she says.
Alice take very small steps each minute of each day.
If you're mobile, can wralk, have a car, a bed to sleep on, Food in the larder, a roof over your head, you're like me very blessed, and our lives are so different from Noreen's. Take away these simple basics in our lives, we would certainly feel bereft, unloved and crying out for help. I volunteer Driving these poor souls who have MS degenerating and terminal. My adversities my Bipolar Depression all my life has given me the great gift of compassion.
Always look positive on ALL adversity, and remember as the bible says...."And it came to pass".
I rephrase to..."And it came, to pass". See the difference...Every thing comes and Every thing passes.

Remember, nobody is better than you, and you're no better than others, we are all God's Children all equal.
On your journey in this life, remember too to stop and smell the flowers.

Reach out to others and develope an extroverted person a, to help each day someone who stands in need of your help, your smile and laughter, it will take you on a journey, and give purpose to why you're upon this earth.
God Bless
Dave.

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 10:17am

Hello Dave, what a beautiful response to Alice's blog. We all benefit from your wise words. Thank you. susan xx

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 10:31am

Thank you Dave, that was moving what you wrote and I agree about the surface and adhesive not being adequate for the glass to stay on the wall.
Alice that is the rational answer, your superstition isn't helpful to you is it?
Is it time to let that unhelpful thinking go. Best wishes. Julie.

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 11:16am

What wonderful folks you all are. The responses here today are sublime. I'm so lucky to be amongst you knowing there is a blanket.
Alice, you said you wish you had an inspirational thought for us all...I think your blog is exactly that. You are already wise. You are already rising up. Just by writing! You're changing. I'm glad you're here. Much love from the room above the garage x.

Caroline Ashcroft Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 11:20am

I totally agree with you RATG, excellent comments, thank you everyone. Carolinex

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 11:40am

I'm deeply moved by the your post and the responses here. I send on the content of Di's on FB. I'm also reminded of the story of two men, one in New York and one in Latin America who come out in the street with their new very expensive booths on and they step in dog pooh which spoils their booths.

The New York man is angry and curses his bad luck. The man in Latin America dances and raves about his good luck. He runs to buy a lottery ticket because now this has happened he can't wait to see what other good turns life has for him.

I like that different perspective. Lots of love, Karin

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 12:59pm

Thought for the day: “When given a choice of being right or being kind, choose kind.” Wayne Dyer.
What a great thought-provoking post Alice. And look at that the Thought for the day again...
Choose kind today, for yourself...because none of us is always right tand I am sure you are wrong when you think a broken mirror can do so much harm to you.
Everyone else has said it all through their wise words here on Moodscope - we don't 'know' each other, yet we all care enough to help those we don't know with little snippets of goodness that may have helped us in the past. You have arrived at your new place in life: you are not a divorcée without mirrors, you are you - perfect and unique in every way.....for your own way ahead. Lovings, Karen x

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 1:01pm

Fab Sophie! My daughter often bemoans having been stuck in traffic because of a crash up ahead....she wishes she had left earlier....I turn it in its head and say....but if you'd left earlier, that crash could have been you.
Karen x

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 1:06pm

What a lovely thing to say RATG!! Moodscopers are a crocheted, soft blankie with wonderful colours and made with love!

I've just finished one and given it to a friend who has just bought herself a camper van!!! Surprised her with it this morning! Karen x

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 1:07pm

Dearest Di, thank you for such wonderful words, your own and the link you shared. So helpful and so loving. Thanks Alice

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 1:10pm

Great thinking, I will use the 'mirror image' and put superstition and negative thought where you lovely people have shown me they belong. Thank you Sophie and Karen. Alice

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 1:11pm

So wise....

Alice

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 1:18pm

Thank you L'xx - I will try to look at things differently ..... And see the benefit. Like the benefit of such a wonderful community as Moodscope.

Alice

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 1:21pm

SSophie, this is my first blog too. Thank you for sharing your first post with me. I feel truly inspired and humbled by the heartfelt responses - it's so worthwhile... Alice

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 1:28pm

Dave, thank you! A beautiful response indeed, wise, helpful, inspirational, and humbling. I should indeed count my blessings not look for the bad as if expecting it to happen. I am so glad I shared these thought with you my new friends as your joint wisdom is just awesome. To put in is so much better than to take out. The positive not the negative all the time. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! All of you. Alice

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 1:32pm

Thank you RATG. You are so right. May we all grow in love and strength in our community. Alice

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 1:34pm

A lovely perspective. Alice

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 1:41pm

Dear Karen, you are so right! I don't know how the thought for the day is chosen but today (as in other days) it is just so appropriate. Clever choice accompanied by kind words from you all. Thank you, Alice.

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 2:06pm

Small afterthought - if you are in UK then Relate might be good to go to, as they specialise in counselling during / before / after relationships. A long marriage ending may take some time to grieve and adjust to. Be kind to yourself!

Mary Blackhurst Hill Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 4:37pm

Hello Alice, I am coming in late today. What a wonderful gift you have given us with your blog. You have inspired people to comment who don't normally, you have precipitated much good advice from which we can all learn, you have also given us an opportunity to love and embrace you (a privilege indeed). So thank you. I will just leave you with a thought from my ex-brother-in-law (who is still a dear friend). "It's unlucky to be superstitious! I've always liked that one.

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 7:16pm

Thank you Mary. I have always loved your blogs and so appreciate your comments. The advice has been wondrous has it not? A timely reminder to thought, overtaking good sense! I feel the love. God bless your brother in law - thank him for those wise words. Gone are the cracks and breaks!! The past is history, the future a mystery, and the present - a gift! Love it!! Alice xx

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 7:21pm

Thank you for the advice. Alice x

Julia Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 7:58pm

Like Mary I have come late to the blog today but I am very glad I have read it eventually. You have provoked a large number of comments. Well done Alice. I hope you are pleased and you see your writing which has been published today as one big positive. So that's one large piece of one of the mirrors mended. I haven't read all the comments yet but hope I am not duplicating anyone else's. But if I am, what we say must be true. I hope today has been a good one for you Alice and tomorrow and the next day and so on..

Anonymous Sat, Jun 20th 2015 @ 8:49pm

I am Julia. Humbled actually. It was exciting to see ones words and thoughts shared and to evoke such a positive response. And learning from the comments has taken me along my journey faster than I could ever have imagined. I do thank everyone from the bottom of my heart. Alice x

Anonymous Sun, Jun 21st 2015 @ 7:35am

To Alice and everyone: many, many thanks. I'm so glad I plucked up courage to comment. This is a wonderful community. I'm feeling such amazing warmth, and that's just what I need right now. Sophie X

Sophbrad Sun, Jun 21st 2015 @ 7:44am

Dave, I love your philosophy. Thank you. Coincidentally, I have MS. I'm thinking about the life changes that I've had and finding the blessings. For example, I used to carry a mountain of baggage- physical and emotional- and I simply cannot do it anymore because it takes such a toll on my body. Stress exacerbates MS, so dear Noreen is very wise to see past what she can't deal with at the moment and enjoy what life can offer.
Sophie

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