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January


Self-awareness. Thursday January 2, 2014

"We must first show compassion to ourselves before we can truly show it to others" Dan Millman

For many of us who are our worst critics - this can be the key to an improved, happier and even depression free future.

How do we become OK about ourselves though?

It reminds me of that great book 'I'm Ok, you're OK' by Thomas A Harris, which is one of the best selling self-help books ever published. It is a practical guide to Transactional Analysis as a method for solving problems in life. From its first publication in 1967 it is now estimated to have sold over 15 million copies.

It reveals how we are often triggered into behaving the way we do, which can often be unhealthy for us. This leads to the key to almost all positive change - self-awareness.

I have a 'cycle' which I believe is at least ninety per cent of all change which starts with that one essential in all growth - self-awareness. That shift of perspective that so often opens so many doors, we didn't even know were there!

Increased Self-awareness leads to increased Self-control leads to increased Self-esteem leads to increased Self-actualisation and of course back to the next level of Self-awareness again, as the learning and growth cycle never ends! This is a cycle of 'planets', which has at its centre Self-respect - just like the sun at the centre of our constellation - we all circle around it and are totally affected by it!

Are you in summer or winter in your cycle...and here we can control our 'seasons'.

Just as depression takes us down the dark cold reverse journey, as our core of self-respect drops, leading to a downward winter spiral into darkness, reducing all the four 'selfs', a shift in self-awareness can lead us up and out of that troubled 'C' of criticism, consternation and confusion.

How is that all important self talk in your head?
Do you focus on that one piece of feedback out of 100 that is negative?
Are you triggered by a totally inoffensive comment?

Become more self aware of why that is.

So today - how can you be more compassionate to yourslef?

Write a list - get it 'out there' and then follow it through...change...follow a new 'cycle.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment on our Blogspot:

http://moodscope.blogspot.com/2014/01/self-awareness.html


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Comments

Anonymous Thu, Jan 2nd 2014 @ 9:20am

Excellent - thank-you Les; just wish I had known about all this years ago! Happy New Year. Frankie

Sucrain in the Membrain Thu, Jan 2nd 2014 @ 10:58am

Wow! So that's what's meant by the saying ' great solutions are founded on the simplest ideas'...Well I just made that one up!, but it seems so simple that if we learn self-awareness, treat ourselves fairly, with patience, tolerance and with forgiveness, then it frees us from all the negative emotions (guilt, anger, fear etc that sap our energy), to live more productive, satisfying, happier, healthier lives! As Alex the meercat would say: 'SIMPLES!!'

Anonymous Thu, Jan 2nd 2014 @ 12:25pm

Thanks for this - it is easy to forget about these things and therefore really helpful to be reminded today to check our self-talk and to challenge the negative stuff that seeps in unnoticed! Thank you.

Anonymous Thu, Jan 2nd 2014 @ 3:57pm

On the topic of self-awareness, I really like this graphic that show's where in the body emotions are felt:
http://gizmodo.com/where-emotions-hit-you-visualized-1492142190?fb_action_ids=963186883839&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=[482581125195977]&action_type_map=[%22og.likes%22]&action_ref_map=[]

Les Thu, Jan 2nd 2014 @ 5:47pm

Cool.....like it.

David Oliver Thu, Jan 2nd 2014 @ 9:14pm

Les, I seriously disagree with one little point you made. Actually with a one word change I totally agree with you! I changed self-esteem to self-CONFIDENCE.

Dr. Albert Ellis (co-founder of CBT) believes that self-esteem is the problem, not the solution! This is because self-esteem comes from rating and/or comparing one's self with others. For example if I earn enough to pay my bills I can feel good though others earn much more than I do. Additionally I have seen others with high self-esteem who constantly put others down.

Thus I changed the cycle to read:
Increased Self-awareness leads to increased Self-control leads to increased Self-confidence leads to increased Self-actualization and of course back to the next level of Self-awareness again, as the learning and growth cycle never ends!

I hope my change does not upset you, if so just ignore me.

Happy New Year,

Davo

Les Fri, Jan 3rd 2014 @ 12:56pm

Cool by me..........if it works for you or others..........self-confidence however, can be seen as just the same comparison and the same challenges emanate from too low or too high............?
The key for me is for anyone to use what fits for them - as that makes it real and not some else's intellectualisation and even 'telling'.......
What's great is the choice tho.......and I'll offer both in future.....thanks

patrick davis Fri, Jan 10th 2014 @ 10:38am

excellent blog Les (and advice) something I defo need to put into action. v low self esteem and yet I used to be so positive and confident. (Pride before the fall perhaps!?)

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