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Remote Control. Tuesday June 7, 2016

How annoying is it when we can't find something?

It's so hard to feel settled and relaxed if something that I need isn't in it's usual place.

I sometimes think it'd be great to have a remote control to help me find what I'm searching for.

The thing is, it's the remote control that tends to go walkabout!

For smartphone users it probably won't be long before we can simply ask "Hey Siri where are my keys?" (other smartphones are available!) Then a little GPS would locate them (using a very clever photo and finger print matching system of course;) and ping! Problem solved!

My phone goes missing less these days, because if it had hips we'd be joined. Wait, scrap that idea, unless it would be able to help with clothes, paper and everyone else's belongings in the house including socks forget it! I refuse to allow an object to replace my memory, as well as my organisational skills! It may look like chaos, but I usually know exactly which pile it's in!

The time factor usually makes things worse for me. It's when I'm in a hurry that losing something is most frustrating. When I finally accept that I've hunted everywhere, traced and retraced my steps and asked everyone (only to be helpfully be reminded to retrace my steps... and breathe!) I give up, knowing that it will turn up in the oddest place, long after I've shouldered the cost and inconvenience of replacing the thing.

I wonder if it's the feeling of not being in control of something that normally is in my control, that bothers me so much? I've heard people say that they are super organised so as to feel in control.

Not feeling in control of my emotions has been something I've struggled with. I'm not hard on myself about it anymore though, I simply am a person who feels very deeply, so being in control of my feelings has been harder work for me. Being in control of and able to express strong emotions seems to be a bit easier without the pressure of trying to fight them.

We can't be in control of others, but how fabulous would it be to turn down the volume or switch to another channel sometimes!

Joking aside, taking control of my wellbeing has been an enormous relief. I struggled too long trying to be content, because I felt I ought not to want or rely on anything or anyone external. (I don't mean for help though, please bring on the help!).

I know that the same is not true for everyone, but I definitely feel more comfortable for now and that I can get on with life's ups and downs without that deep down gut feeling that things are not right for me.

Is there something that is within your control to find, but something else that is holding you back?

LillyPet xx
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Smudge Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 7:06am

I also suffer from strong emotions..they exhaust me...struggling with them all the time. They are so often negative, beating myself up about something small, I am working on trying to concentrate on positive things. It's hard on ones own.

LillyPet Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 8:16am

Hi Smudge, Yes for me too it's been hard to make changes, but when I look back, bit by bit I've chopped my way through the emotional jungle. Being on my own was not good for me either and I was so sure that it was the thing that would make a big difference, that I ploughed away at changing that until I found the company that I wanted. I've realised that if I want something strongly enough, my whole being is unsettled until I have got somewhere with it. There are things that are not in our control, but alot of things are. There might be barriers holding us back, so I guess recognising what is holding us back and taking some of that control to get some well deserved peace and happiness has got to be worth it right? :) Have a great day Smudge and all! Why not? LP:)xx

the room above the garage Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 8:45am

Hi Smudge, similar for me but I'm working on it. Awareness of it is a big step in the new direction...simply knowing it has already altered your thinking, great stuff! I thought meditation was not for me until I found Headspace. 'Take Ten' is free, entertaining, and really easy. Although I've lapsed a little, I know I need to return as it has been pivotal for me...have a look. Andy Puddicombe takes you through every step of the ways and if you're on your own (like me) it's like having a friend beside you. Can't recommend it highly enough. Later you need to subscribe but I find it well worth it.

Lexi Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 12:47pm

Hi Smudge, I agree with everyone above. Being aware that you are beating yourself up is the first step. It allows you to take a step back and say "enough already with these thoughts!" They're just thoughts anyways and not reality That was a hard idea for me to grasp but since I have I am able to fill my head with positive ones :) Just remember to give yourself a break. xo

Orangeblossom Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 7:22am

Hi Lillipet
Thanks for the blog which I fully identify with. It is usually when I have misplaced something that it sends me on a downward spiral of distress & exasperation with myself.

Hopeful One Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 8:07am

Hi Lillipet- thank you for a thoughtful post. One thinks life will always be a little hard for those who feel( they are though the loveliest people to be with ) but a laugh for those who think( who may come across as heartless but are not). The trick I suppose is to strike a balance between the two. That is what I think I have learnt to control.

A little squirt of dopamine and serotonin with a laugh helps things along. Today's laugh could draw flak but seems a practical solution. The Squadron would like to make clear it does not support cheating.

A couple both aged 67, went to a sex therapist's office. The therapist asked," what can I do for you?" The man said," Will you watch us have intercourse? The therapist looked puzzled, but agreed as this is something he did in therapy. When the couple finished, the therapist said " There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse", and charged them £50. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the therapist then leave. Finally the therapist asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The man said," We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges £90.The Hilton charges £150. We do it here for £50, and I get £43 back from my insurance company!

the room above the garage Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 8:34am

Laughing outside in the wide world and hoping that is bringing joy to someone else! Thank you :-)

Hopeful One Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 9:22am

Hi RATG- glad to read you got a lift.

the room above the garage Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 8:38am

Hello LP, "simply a person who feels very deeply"...this. This is me. I'm learning to separate, and it's like untangling spaghetti! But I'm getting there. Wonderful to see you in black and white. Love ratg x.

LillyPet Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 8:44am

Ha ha :)) that did make me laugh H.O. :)
I, ve always thought of myself as a thinker, an overthinker infact. Your comment has made me realise that maybe it's not a bad thing. If it helps to balance negative feelings, thinking about something positive has to be a good thing. I guess the thing is not to dwell. When I realise that I'm in my head and not in the moment, living life as it is in the here and now, I snap out of it. With that, I'm off to work! :)
Yes, some of those chemicals isn't a bad way to start the day, so thank you H.O! LP :)

Hopeful One Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 9:38am

Hi LP- glad I made you laugh. I predict that you will have a wonderful day as that serotonin and dopamine lasts a lot longer than one thinks.

Lexi Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 12:50pm

Thank you for your post today Lillypet. I too have strong emotions and feel deeply. We are born sensitive creatures and I think we need to be kind to ourselves. Have a great day at work!

The Gardener Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 5:06pm

My emotions used to be black and white - now numbness and inertia have taken over - disappointments abound naturally - but we have a son due this week - more strikes are forecast, a grand-daughters visit already stopped by one. I have to take note of the thought for the day - I feel angry and conspired against, as being unable to travel any visitor takes on extra importance and extra disappointment. Been commended by our GP on the way I manage Mr G - so take that to heart, doing SOMETHING right. The 'excited' card always gets a low score, not pessimistic, but most avenues closed - I get excited as I start each new stage of the new house - then get numbed by lack of sleep and what looked fun becomes a scary challenge. Just heard on news the huge security exercise for start of major football event (???) in Paris - day son arrives from Dubai.

Mary Wednesday Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 5:36pm

Great post LillyPet. I am in love with my phone too! Most of my friends live in it - the ones who don't live here, that is....

The Gardener Tue, Jun 7th 2016 @ 7:47pm

Phones! I've never been 'joined at the hip' at my age, mobiles a necessary evil. I have a transfer system, but whatever house I transfer to there is no signal, and I forget to put it back to the 'fixed'. Mobile lost. Phoned it, it answered. I went through every pocket, pending file, pile of papers, not found. Now, of course, the thing has no battery, so will have to fall over it. Have a new, all singing, all dancing - all a muddle - usable, but lost the contract with it's number - the bill on bank statement only gives last three digits. There are quite a few pigeons around here, quicker to train them, I think.

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