Redemption of a balanced soul

28 Aug 2019
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It is said that the brightness of one can illuminate the darkness all around; if offered with love and openness. I believe this to be true. Often we are not aware that our light has been seen by others, but frequently we can light a darker path for someone without even being aware. Finding the calm within the chaos can sometimes seem like an endless search for limited resources, but if we are fortunate enough to have a light shone for us, if we sit and just allow it to unfold organically, it can be less of a struggle and ultimately, we all benefit. After all life is a lattice work of relationships.

One of the most constructive things I have learned over recent years has been finding the healthy balance between the masculine and feminine. I now see there is an undeniable strength in both, and I have come to realise that my original confusion derived from feeling there was a weakness in the feminine, and an enormous strength in the masculine. I now understand this was too black and white, and definitely incorrect!

In the wild there is no such thing as a healthy gelding (a castrated colt or stallion.) A stallion has to breed with his mares, that's his job, and to keep the best for this job the lesser/younger males are made to leave and they form what is called a bachelor herd; a herd of colts and stallions who have no mares in their herd, and will only ever mate successfully if they are able to take over an existing herd by overpowering their stallion, or creating their own by enticing mares to join them in making a new herd. Consequently, a gelding in the wild, will only have come about through injury. This (on a lesser scale) can be seen in domesticity; the struggle for the gelding to find a valued place in a herd, especially if the herd is kept in a less natural way. But balance is their key to success (& survival); finding their place and embracing it.

So how does this affect us?

I believe we must find a healthy balance between feminine and masculine, not one that has been distorted by social protocol and peer expectations, but one that can dance in harmony. Working together rather than pulling apart. Embracing each other's strengths and finding a way to nourish each other in mind and body. I believe that when we truly learn to look within, to see everything as a gift to our development; it all becomes a little less scary and a little more exciting, sometimes all we need is that light...

Once we begin to search for a healthy way of co-existing, a way that encompasses what each and every one of us has to offer then, and only then, we'll become closer to finding our way back to a more nourished, balanced soul.

Rosemary

A Moodscope member.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

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Comments

Sally

Aug. 29, 2019, 5:16 a.m.

Wow, Rosemary, and wow again! What a beautifully written and elegantly expressed blog. A piece to keep, truly. I read it voraciously ( yes, I know , only short, and that’s what you’d normally apply to a reading habit encompassing a whole raft of books but that IS the word that came to mind, as I read, and I read bits out to my OH.) You are a truly gifted writer. I loved the analogy with the herd.....I shall mull over that, for it is very good and interesting... A lovely blog to get the grey matter functioning, Rosemary, on this Thursday morning where I need to have my wits about me. Going on a painting challenge outdoors. Wish me luck.xxSally

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The Gardener

Aug. 29, 2019, 7:36 a.m.

Good luck Sally, sounds fun. My chaotic life has again produced stress-induced excema, being treated, but keeps me awake at night - and my grey cells need to be in good running order, not tending to collapse with SUDOKU. xx

Sally

Aug. 29, 2019, 7:23 p.m.

Thank you TG! It has been a fun day, with some success after considerable troubleshooting! The painting I did was of a garden with agapanthus, white-blue. Quite pleased. Day 2 tomorrow. Beautiful hall and gardens, long and deep borders of wonderful perennials.

Rosemary

Sept. 3, 2019, 1:18 p.m.

Hi Sally, apologies it's taken me so long to reply to you. Thank you for your kind words, I'm glad you liked it :o) Funny you should say about it being a short piece, because it is actually taken from a much longer piece of writing which I am working on. It's quite a challenging collection of thoughts but the whole subject of balance, an all its forms, fascinates me.... Your painting challenge sounds wonderful, my Dad painted. I have many of his pieces on the walls as we speak. How did your 2nd day go? Take care ***

Rosemary

Sept. 3, 2019, 1:20 p.m.

Sorry to hear your life has again burdened you with stress TG, how tiresome. Hope your flare up has settled down by now. Look after yourself ***

Sally

Aug. 29, 2019, 5:24 a.m.

I had a super conversation along the seafront with a charming lady who said I’d be the only person she spoke to that day. She confided to having had suicidal thoughts, and had forced herself to come out that day and walk away those nasty thoughts. I hope I was able to help. In a very small but positive way. She was lovely. “If you think you are small and insignificant, you’ve never been in bed with a mosquito !. True. Although mosquitoes are not on my list of “goodies!! “. Their bites make you itch terribly!! But you get the meaning...

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Rosemary

Sept. 3, 2019, 1:23 p.m.

...as I said in the blog Sally, I believe that the brightness of one can illuminate the darkness for others, so I am positive you did indeed help the lady on the beach. What empathy you must exude for her to confide in you like that...you may well have helped her more than you will ever know. Hugs Sally ***

Jul

Aug. 29, 2019, 7:26 a.m.

Hi Rosemary. Quite a complex blog and I think there are many levels to it! I had to read the bit about stallions and geldings a few times. So geldings are the nice males in society who have to find a modus operandi to live happily with each other and with women? Stallions are the ones to avoid? I do think men have issues which are different to women but equally valid. The reason I love Edith Wharton's books so much is that she understands where men are coming from and the position they have been placed in society. She was writing in the 20th century but her observations are relevant to today's society. Both men and women have to release themselves from the stereotyped roles society tries to place them in. I hope you are happy Rosemary and jogging along just fine with your trees and rural life. Jul xx

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Rosemary

Sept. 3, 2019, 1:45 p.m.

Hi Jul :o) Apologies for such a late reply. Yes, the blog comes from a much longer piece I’m working on so I could only touch the surface of what is, as you say, a very complex (but I find fascinating) subject. No I wouldn’t say it’s as black and white as geldings being the nice males and stallions being the ones to avoid… in nature some of the kindest and most empathetic male horses are the stallions – I see it more a case that all of us, male and female, need to work at finding our true balance ~ within ourselves. This means that we have to be mindful of our feminine side /and/ masculine side irrespective of what gender we are (& being open to seeing it in others) I believe the right amount of both is key. Too much of one can mess up the whole balance within ourselves and within nature… I agree that stereotyping can be dangerous and so I strive to see the ‘energy’ within the person (or animal) for what it is rather than to label it. (I’ll look Edith Wharton up, thank you) As I say, the analogy I used comes from a study I've been doing for a number of years based on horses in as natural a habitat as possible, along with taking note of how some humans act and react depending on what (often) they believed is expected of them due to peer pressure and years of what ‘should be’. Yes all ticking along nicely thank you Jul, much to do as we are still sorting more family stuff weekly, we are getting there even though it is a very long job! It can be very emotional but also often cathartic too. Hope you are well Jul ***

Orangeblossom

Aug. 29, 2019, 7:29 a.m.

Thanks for the illuminating blog Rosemary. I think that lions & leopards have a similar social behaviour pattern. I think also that we Moodscope members empower each other to establish a sense of balance. We certainly help to brighten each other’s day.

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Rosemary

Sept. 3, 2019, 1:47 p.m.

Hi Orangeblossom, apologies for the late reply. Yes I believe you are right although I have not studied their behaviour in any depth. I completely agree that this group certainly helps to balance many a dip or peak - a fabulous group. Hope you are keeping well, hugs ***

The Gardener

Aug. 29, 2019, 7:33 a.m.

Jul, how right you are about the 'stereotyping' of males and females. All the centuries of the male being the 'protector' going to war to defend family and country, his 'role' in the family, the 'decision maker', the 'disciplinarian'. Modern life has truly 'emasculated' them, and 'strident' women (I expect flak) have made things worse. Rosemary talks of 'balance', how difficult to achieve. Sometimes the female has to be the decision maker, whilst trying to leave her husband/partner some self-respect. A tangled coil, Thanks Rosemary.

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Jul

Aug. 29, 2019, 10:51 a.m.

Yes Gardener, you are so right to point out war and young men.I saw an item on the news recently about mens' lives lost needlessly in Afghanistan. It focused briefly on 10 young men who were aged between 18 and 22, all killed. Also men who survived but came back traumatised and physically injured. I know women can fight in the front line too and the Kurds are well known for women in their front line armies but traditionally and this is your point, it's always been men going to war. Wars have got to stop but also he predominance of men fighting. Jul xx

Rosemary

Sept. 3, 2019, 2 p.m.

Oh yes Gardener - such a juggling act to get the balance right between the 'roles'. This is why I am so interested in seeing people becoming mindful of true balance; supporting each other wherever needed irrespective of gender or even of expected roles. How many times have people fallen because they felt they mustn't appear weak? ...or that they were coming over as too forthright? Troubled by how they were being perceived (or more correctly how they /thought/ they were being perceived) It's incongruent (& therefore unhealthy) to feel one way but act another simply to save face. ***

Ach UK

Aug. 29, 2019, 8 a.m.

Rosemary, lovely to see your name on today's blog. A very interesting piece, and like Jul I keep rereading it as it does seem to be open to many different interpretations. I am hoping we give you lots of diverse comments. I will try and come back later and see what we are all making of it,. For now, I too was thinking about your equine solutions, and musing that in the agricultural world of poultry, and sheep and cattle and pigs, and also the wild animal populations, the ( generalisation coming) solution as you say is to castrate all bar one of the males . . . .and in agriculture the excess males are then culled so they no longer are a drain on the farmers or welfare of the herd. Are you thinking perhaps we could have more civilised societies if we did unto ourselves what we do to our animals ?? Hope you have an enjoyable day. XX Ach.

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Rosemary

Sept. 3, 2019, 2:11 p.m.

Hi Ach, aww thank you. (& apologies for such a late reply.) Yes as I’ve said above, it’s from a longer piece and so my blog could only touch on the subject, but it’s one that has intrigued me for a very long time. Haha no I wasn’t suggesting that all but a handful of our males be castrated, far from it. I’m more interested in us all finding our male/female balance whatever our gender (and I’m not talking about the gender fluid debate here, just that we all have both masculine and feminine traits and we should explore them to be able to balance them.) I really believe that a lot of problems stem from the fact that we are [for the most part] discouraged from finding that true inner balance and by suppressing that, we are denying ourselves (and therefore those around us) true inner peace. Also, interestingly, as you bring up the agriculture side of things – more and more people I know are moving toward a ‘re-wilding’ option for their land and animals, and often vasectomy is chosen above castration …but that’s another blog :o)) ***

Ach UK

Sept. 4, 2019, 4:20 p.m.

Thank you for your reply Rosemary. I take heart from your thoughtful approaches to the diversities of male/female traits within any one person. I have a feeling that these traits may exhibit differently at different times in our lives too depending on circumstances and influences. XX Ach.

The Gardener

Aug. 29, 2019, 12:50 p.m.

Ach UK, we are into ethics, a subject I'd love to study, where do you start? As keeping animals and growing vegetables as a business having the 'best' was vital. When I had a big livery stables my grooms and I would sit round the kitchen table with our coffee and Horse and Hound and dream of the best stallion for our brood mares. I always went (in my dreams, for grey Arabs). When I was in Doha for a while we went to the races, some for home bred, nothing could be prouder and more beautiful than those horse bred by the sheiks (money no object for them). Cont

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The Gardener

Aug. 29, 2019, 12:53 p.m.

There are some things I find abhorrent, Horses, again, years ago, indiscriminate breeding of Welsh ponies. Often resulted in ugly little foals which would be unwanted, the British did not eat them, a child would not want them as a 'first' pony. They were herded and beaten from market to market, awful. Now, the over-breeding of 'fashion' dogs so they can hardly breed and have in-bred weakness in the legs is wicked, Now, governments are concerned about the harm cats, pets and feral, are doing to the environment. End of rant! xx

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Rosemary

Sept. 3, 2019, 2:16 p.m.

I agree Gardener, the amount of over, poorly bred horses was at its height around the 80s here (& still goes on) and the amount that met an end I wouldn't wish on any animal was incomprehensible. Fashion and greed eh? Where to start....? :(

The Gardener

Aug. 29, 2019, 12:59 p.m.

Breed should be 'breathe'. Re cats, I think Australia, California and parts of Belgium are trying to legislate to control cats. They are responsible for the near extinction of several small mammals. I have no birds in either of my gardens, 3 neighbours with 5 stray cats each. They are well fed, but their nature is to hunt. I have not seen a robin or heard a blackbird for years. Although farming deserves a lot of blame, towns are very 'tidy minded' and cut verges before they go to seed, thus removing another food source. OH dear, mea culpa, another rant!

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Rosemary

Aug. 30, 2019, 5:47 p.m.

Hi everyone So sorry I've not replied to anyone - not been near anywhere to check emails so didn't realise it had been published. Promise I'll answer properly/individually as soon as possible :o) ***

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