Playing with Fire

20 Sep 2020
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Dreams are real.

I was a sceptic. I doubted that Mental Rehearsal really counted when it comes to developing new patterns of behaviour. The experts on Neuroplasticity (the brain’s capability to redesign and even rebuild itself) say that Mental Rehearsal is a ‘real’ as direct external physical experience. For example, the basketball player who mentally visualises shooting hoops can improve her or his ‘real-time’ performance.

Last night I was immersed in one of those weird dreams. Mum burst in on me (in the dream – she’s dead), wearing a patch over one eye, nearly catching me in a compromising position! It was pure fiction (after all, I never compromise!) Nevertheless, I jumped in bed, and my heart pounded as if it ‘really’ happened. Yes, my dream was just a thought, but my body and emotions didn’t know the difference.

I remember as a child being bitten by a dog in a dream only to discover my teddy bear was at the same position as where the dog bit me. We never had the same kind of relationship again!

So what? I’m now a believer! What we think about affects the biochemistry and electrochemistry of the brain. This, in turn, fires off the hormone-system… and we know what those little beauties can do. Can we build muscle-mass too? I’m not sure I’m going that far with my new belief, but I have a new respect for ‘thinking-as-if’.

I called this “Playing with Fire” because I do know that, “Neurons that Fire Together Wire Together.” Previously, I’d used this is the context of providing a sensory-rich experience for learners experiencing my seminars. If they could smell, hear, see, touch, and even taste positive aspects of the training, each one of these sensory doors could open the way to remembering what they learned and experienced. This is because the sensory neural patterns that ‘fired’ at the same time as the teaching would get ‘wired’ into the experience.

Today, I am thinking, “How can I use this for Mental Well-being?” and, “Could simply imagining happy experiences have the same positive impact as having them in the outside world?” These effects could be amplified by Virtual Reality experiences too! For example, I use special microphones that replicate how the ears hear. The field is called, “Psycho-Acoustics.” The wonderful output is the experience of ‘reality’ you have when you listen back to the recording through headphones. It’s like being there.

It’s early days yet but I’m making a commitment to “Think Myself Happy.”

Flipping that thought, I know that I know that I know that I am a Master of Thinking when it comes to Mental Rehearsal of the worst-case scenarios. I know that I can think myself sick! Why then couldn’t it also be true that you and I could think ourselves well?

Let’s give more attention to the way we think… it’s playing with fire!

Depression is always chemical. Depression is always electrical. Whilst there are chemical imbalances that can literally ‘make’ us feel a certain way, thinking still has a role to play in tipping the balance – the chemical balance – in our favour.

What are your experiences of thinking yourself into a state (happy or otherwise)?

Lex

A Moodscope member.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

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Comments

Tina

Sept. 21, 2020, 4:23 a.m.

Just listened to the podcast and shared it with a relaxation group I attend. The lady who runs our sessions is always telling us our thoughts effect our bodies in real life. Thank you for sharing it. P.S. you have a lovely voice ?.

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Lex

Sept. 21, 2020, 5:34 a.m.

Thank you for sharing with the relaxation group, Tina, and I am thrilled you enjoyed my voice too!

Bailey

Sept. 21, 2020, 5:22 a.m.

There is no pill for stinking thinking, I always say. Scriptures say:" take every thought captive."

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Lex

Sept. 21, 2020, 5:36 a.m.

Hi Bailey, did you see the longer version on Soundcloud? I did an expanded version for my spiritual audience... including a reference to that very verse!

Kristin

Sept. 21, 2020, 5:52 a.m.

Thank you for this thought provoking blog, Lex - that quote "Neurons that fire together - wire together" is one that I remember hearing at, of all places, a conference on breastfeeding (infant feeding being my specialist subject in my career of over 30 years as a midwife) - this phrase was linked to the term "Biological Nurturing" which included skin-to-skin contact from birth and breastfeeding to give newborns the most positive start to life, recognising that as human babies are born relatively "premature" because the large brain and therefore skull would not fit through the pelvic bones if allowed to develop further in-utero. The suggestion is that the first 3 months after birth should be considered as the fourth trimester (normal pregnancy is divided into three trimesters - 3x3 months where critical developmental processes occur) so, a quarter of the baby's development where continued physical connection with the mother promotes optimal brain development occurs outside the uterus and the sense of touch is the most important - in this "natural habitat" the newborn can "perform at it's best" - the touch of the mother's skin triggers feeding reflexes and the baby is physically able to literally crawl from the mother's abdomen to the breast, using all its's senses (smell - attracted to the mother's natural scent and the smell of breast milk; sight - the dark skin of the mother's areola around her nipple is a visual target; the touch of the nipple against the newborn's cheek trigger's a reflex - the rooting reflex - to turn towards and attach to the nipple and then to suckle as the sucking reflex is triggered; taste - of the colostrum (first milk) stimulates continued feeding; hearing - the sound of the mother's soft voice further encourages the newborn infant.) Neuro-development and that firing of the newborn's neurons and hard-wiring the nerve pathways is most impressive when mother and baby are enabled to remain in prolonged, uninterrupted, skin-to-skin contact from the moment of birth for at least an hour or until the first breastfeed has taken place, and when the mother and baby spend as much time as possible in this close bodily contact, particularly over the first twelve weeks of life when the most critical brain connections are being developed. It is also quite disturbing to think that common activities such as wrapping a newborn in a blanket can interfere with this natural ability, separation of mother and baby to perform activities such as weighing and measuring or even passing baby to the father or other birth companion will stop the baby from demonstrating these innate newborn instincts. It is well known that other mammals such as farm animals and newborn puppies and kittens should not ideally be handled as this affects natural and instinctive and beneficial behaviours that take place between newborn animals and their mothers. I was grateful to take my professional research and studies to another level when I completed "Brazelton Training" - Brazelton (a talented American paediatrician - recognised the importance of facilitating positive parent and infant interactions which enabled the baby to bring out it's "Best Performance") - the parental nurturing approaches and recognising how their baby communicates with them by body language, touch, eye contact and voice with crying to gain attention being a "last resort" and also defining babies' awake and alert states - from deep sleep, light sleep, drowsy, calm alert, active alert, crying and full blown crying - and the significance of parental interactions such as cuddling and soothing with touch, voice, eye contact and feeding before baby is fully crying all combine to develop the baby's confidence in it's carers, the reassurance that the baby's basic needs of love, warmth and nutrition will be met which will ultimately trigger self-reliance and self-esteem when the child grows up. We are all too often shown how important early nurturing and childhood experiences are at shaping the adults we become and our abilities to manage our own emotions and wellbeing in the future.

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Another Sally

Sept. 21, 2020, 6:15 a.m.

That is so interesting. Thanks. In case you get a backlash from people who bottle feed, I would just add that, in the privacy of one’s home, bottle feeding can still be done skin to skin. Reply to Lex soon - but thanks for firing and wiring me this morning. :-)

Lex

Sept. 21, 2020, 6:22 a.m.

Hi Kristin, this is utterly fascinating, and a real call to action for the way we treat our new born children. I really enjoyed reading this.

Tutti Frutti

Sept. 21, 2020, 6:48 a.m.

Kristen I had mixed feelings on reading this. I was aware of some of it before having my daughter (basically the breast is best and skin to skin bits) and it is what I would have done had I been able to. However the post natal period is a very vulnerable time for women so I ended up spending those 3 months in a mother and baby unit in a psychiatric hospital.) One of the consultants told me that a woman is 200 times more likely to be admitted into a psychiatric hospital then than at any other time in her life.) They did initially try to put me on medication that allowed me to breast feed but the side effects were dreadful so I had to bottle feed my daughter from 10 days old. It did at one point occur to me that I could bottle feed skin to skin but when I did this in my own room at the hospital I got firmly told by a nurse to put some clothes back on. I guess none of the rooms in hospital are completely private and they were worried that someone else's partner might walk past! Thankfully my daughter is now 17 and generally well and happy so I didn't find this as hard to read as I would have done when she was younger. So I just wanted to say that to anyone who has younger children and hasn't been able to breast feed them skin to skin for one reason or another, don't worry or start blaming yourself just do what you can to be a good parent and they can turn out fine. Love TF x

Patty

Sept. 21, 2020, 2:34 p.m.

I agree TF. I was on medication and couldn't feed by breast and was very gentle and loving. My sister-in-law breadt fed and was so brusque and rough with her infant it hurt to watch. I think there is a lot more involved like a loving, gentle touch toward you're infant. She would say " stop ******** around" and pull her newborn off her breast if she wasn't suckling seriously enough.

Sal

Sept. 22, 2020, 8:23 p.m.

Kristin, thank you for all this information. I have stored it away to share in future with all my friends (and there seem to be a lot of them) who know that a big part of what underpins their difficulties in life arose in their pre-verbal time. Me too. I think that this can be a root of what makes it so hard to change negative thinking patterns. My expectations about what life could offer me - or NOT offer me - in terms of love and safety were, I suspect, set deep in me long before I could think in words. At least now I understand some of the impact of this. Well done for spelling it out :) Best wishes, Sal x

Laura

Sept. 21, 2020, 5:55 a.m.

Thank you. I really needed that today. I’ve been going down a black hole of negative thinking. Thank you for reminding me to resist and replace.

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Lex

Sept. 21, 2020, 6:23 a.m.

Hi Laura, that is so eloquently put, "reminding me to resist and replace." Thank you for sharing.

Orangeblossom

Sept. 21, 2020, 9:48 a.m.

Hi Lex, thanks for your blog which is very information dense. I have made a note of your ideas that struck me & will read it through again. I do tend to over-think when I have made a mistake that I believe is catastrophic. It rarely is. I can pick myself up and start walking again but sometimes recovery time is longer. My recurrent nightmares about 40 years ago always had Mum in them.

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Lex

Sept. 21, 2020, 1:03 p.m.

'Mum' is such a holy vocation, isn't it? I'm smiling because after I wrote this, Alexa said it was International "Speak Like a Pirate Day" - maybe my Mum was a pirate! As for over-thinking, that's why I have no hair left on the top of my head! I understand you!

Brum Mum

Sept. 21, 2020, 12:01 p.m.

What a thought provoking, neuro challenging blog!! I have shared it on Facebook and I will come back to it again later today. Thank you...x

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Lex

Sept. 21, 2020, 1:03 p.m.

Thank you, Brum Mum! x I'm feeling rather poorly today, so it may be back to bed for me!

Lexi

Sept. 21, 2020, 1:17 p.m.

Feel better Lex! Great blog!

Molly

Sept. 21, 2020, 2:50 p.m.

Yes, I echo, hope you feel better soon xx

Lex

Sept. 21, 2020, 4:05 p.m.

Feeling much better, thank you Molly, thank you, Lexi xx

Molly

Sept. 21, 2020, 2:39 p.m.

Hi Lex Challenging blog indeed which I struggled to get my head around. (By the way your podcast link wasn’t included but I see it’s on the email, so I will listen to that later and see if it helps me understand). All I can contribute, is that I went through a stage of having awful dreams, disturbing dreams. Usually when dosing in the mornings. I would have to jump out of bed to stop them. Last night/this morning, I had a dream, less disturbing than some but I was so glad it wasn’t true. I laid there reliving it. Almost smiling, it felt so real. I liked reliving it because it was me all over in the dream. Yet it wasn’t true! So pleased! Not sure if this ties up with thinking yourself into a certain state, but if it doesn’t, I know you won’t mind! Molly xx

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Lex

Sept. 21, 2020, 4:07 p.m.

Hi Mollstar! I LOVE those dreams that set you free. My often include flying (I say 'often' though I don't have them often. They feel amazing. I didn't take the time to do a video this Sunday ready for today because I was videoing my mate, Jamie Skipper. You might like this Essex Boy! https://youtu.be/pf4ZIstNi4U

Molly

Sept. 21, 2020, 10:09 p.m.

Dreams that are set free, I like that. Looked at this link, not my cup of tea at all Lex. But thanks for sharing xx

Molly

Sept. 22, 2020, 1:46 a.m.

I liked the podcast, still listening to some relaxing music on soundcloud that followed afterwards. Not sure if they are related to you or not xx

Lex

Sept. 22, 2020, 8:18 a.m.

Hi Molly, I've just found the musical library that has the sound I've been seeking to create. Here are the two tracks I played with yesterday... https://soundcloud.com/lex-mckee/opaque-dreams-of-sky-dancing https://soundcloud.com/lex-mckee/opacity Making dreamy music makes me feel very 'whole'.

Molly

Sept. 22, 2020, 12:51 p.m.

Thanks Lex, I will have a listen later xx

Molly

Sept. 22, 2020, 10:54 p.m.

Loving the music Lex. Just a heads up though, it’s not that easy to access. You can’t just click on the link, you have to copy and paste which is a ****** at times (maybe it’s my device, I don’t know) anyway good tracks, thank you, so relaxing, I might well go to bed with them tonight with my wireless headphones!! Molly xx

Jul

Sept. 21, 2020, 3:08 p.m.

Hello Lex. I hope you are feeling better soon. I am wondering why our minds lean towards negative thoughts more easily than optimistic ones. I was thinking that maybe it's a form of natural self protection against disasters; so in other words a reality check. Take care Lex. Jul xx

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Lex

Sept. 21, 2020, 3:48 p.m.

Tigger bounces back after a kip! Thank you for your well-wishes. Oli will have some insight into the negative bias... and I know that I know that I know that another Moodscoper (who will forgive for not remembering which one) did a superb entry on negative bias and why. Calling all Moodscopers - who is The One Who Knows? [And if there is no answer, guess who will be blogging on this next week? lol xx]

Oli

Sept. 21, 2020, 5:11 p.m.

Hi Jul, Hi Lex -- yep, consensus seems to be that -ve bias keeps you alive therefore in evolutionary terms it has been well preserved and is over-represented in the way we focus our attention. Two million years ago the bias to think the cute-looking tiger might be friendly didn't increase your reproductive success. We are the children of the deeply pessimistic and anxious.

Lex

Sept. 21, 2020, 10:08 p.m.

Sounds like a great name for a Finnish Rock Band, "Children of the Deeply Pessimistic and Anxious."

Jul

Sept. 22, 2020, 6:27 a.m.

Thanks Oli Jul xx

Another Sally

Sept. 21, 2020, 4:05 p.m.

Hi Lex, hope you are feeling better soon. Fire and wire those good thoughts. Maybe we could all do a Peter Pan, or a Harry Potter, who could fly with the best of memories/ thoughts. I had a swim in the sea at Durdle Door this morning, before the crowds arrived. It really invigorated me and I walked back up the 145 steps and then the fairly steep track back up to the car park like a teenager. I’m no spring chicken, but it will be my gauge as to how fit I am keeping, as long as I can manage that walk. Take care Lex and waves to everyone. AS

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AndrewH

Sept. 21, 2020, 4:58 p.m.

Hi Sally OK so I' jealous that firstly you live close enough you can go to Durdle Door for a swim, and second that you can walk up 145 steps! However, you've also reminded me how much I have enjoyed my visits to your part of the world and that's put a smile on my face.

Lex

Sept. 21, 2020, 10:10 p.m.

Another Sally, I feel positively challenged to emulate your excellence. Also the climb up to the tops of the hills around Corfe Castle and Swanage. It's been too long since I've done that... and today's weather was simply perfect. I will take action!

Oli

Sept. 21, 2020, 5:37 p.m.

Hi Lex, omg making videos -- my anxiety levels are through the roof. I have not had performance anxiety for DECADES. I've called it a wrap today on take number, whatever, probably 30. This, quite frankly, is weird. [I want to know why, what is cueing this behaviour???, but mostly I want to finish the b****y work!] Can you think yourself into another state? Sure can. As per something I wrote to Jul above it's much easier to think ourselves into a state that's downhill because we're mostly biased in that direction. What would it take to think yourself uphill? First, I gotta say that (probably like most of us) I don't see thinking as the whole problem. I *do* think that cognitions are important in low mood -- but one of my preferences is to treat them as behaviour -- verbal behaviour. Because behaviour is simply everything we do, and thinking (even though you can't see it) is definitely part of what we do. But this means that if cognitions are verbal behaviour then they will respond to conditioning like all other behaviour. And that's my approach to thinking uphill. On Saturday I had a nice experience of collaborating with someone to help me do this. The experience allowed me to lose [quite a long time's worth] of low mood. Nothing magical. Now, it hasn't solved any external problems whatsoever: I've still got these videos to produce and they are still making me anxious, BUT, I feel strong enough to believe in myself and show up tomorrow and carry on. And I would not have said that on Saturday morning. :-)

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Lex

Sept. 21, 2020, 10:05 p.m.

Hi Oli, I'm loving, "Thinking Uphill." Reminded me instantly of Salmon swimming upstream, against the current. Which would you prefer as a blog title: Thinking Uphill or Thinking Upstream. As for video, I remember training trainers for Buzan Centres (in Mind Mapping and Speed Reading and Memory.) Most of them hated the bit where they were to present in front of us AND the camera. I asked them to imagine they were someone else, like Vanda North, who was the CEO. Wow, that worked magic! The other breakthrough was working with a woman called Bronwen - who was very confident in front of the camera. When we wanted someone to really open up, she'd go on camera with them and interview them. Another transformation!

Kristin

Sept. 21, 2020, 8:04 p.m.

I don't seem to be able to reply to individual replies to my comments so will try to scroll up and down and answer them collectively here. Firstly - I wanted to point out that although my comment referred to the optimal infant feeding choice as breastfeeding and this is a research based fact (after all the majority of non-human mammals are suckled by their mothers and the milk produced is species specific). I referred to myself in my midwifery role as an infant feeding specialist - which covers both breast and bottle feeding and all babies regardless of infant feeding method can benefit from skin-to-skin contact and the "Brazelton techniques" I referred to to help parents recognise their baby's non-verbal communication and by learning how to interpret these and respond to their baby to bring out the best in the baby but also to help them to enjoy more rewarding parenting experiences. I also wanted to respond particularly to Tutti Frutti - to compassionately recognise your desire to do your best for your baby, I am truly sorry that you experienced postnatal depression requiring hospitalisation and during that time you were treated in a judgemental way and were not supported to enjoy that special closeness of skin-to-skin time with your daughter. I am glad that at 17 years old your Daughter is generally well and happy. As a young student nurse in the early 1980's I worked for 8 weeks on a placement in an acute psychiatric ward which had an attached mother and baby unit (I spent many hours during that time with a mother experiencing postnatal psychosis and was deeply moved by her tender physical interactions with her baby girl while also being tormented by unbelievably graphic "visions" of what harm might befall her precious baby and an overwhelming fear that she might harm her) - I have never forgotten this experience in nearly 40 years and it is probably one of the experiences which shaped the midwife I became and my desire to help parents to have the most rewarding birth experiences possible, no matter whether the birth was natural or complicated and requiring emergency forceps or a caesarean, followed by all the support they deserve in the early days of the postnatal period when they are adapting to possibly the most challenging role of their life. I acknowledge how difficult it can be for mothers when the NHS resources are stretched too thin and there is not always enough staff to provide all the help needed at the time it is required. So often it is "The System" failures that let down new mothers, but so often, sadly, it seems that it is the mothers who carry the guilt or the midwives "beat themselves up" for not providing the care that they want to, when it is the "System" that is to blame! To Patty, I couldn't agree more that the way a baby is handled, that loving touch regardless of feeding method is the most important gift a mother can give her child!

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Molly

Sept. 21, 2020, 8:43 p.m.

Kristen your comments are just too long and not relevant to the blog. They are also dictating. You might have a career in this field but have you seen the length of your comments? Do you think Lex wants to know about breast feeding? I certainly don’t. By all means do a blog on breast feeding if that rocks your boat, Not in a comment though (your comments are longer than the blog) It might be more relevant to talk about breast feeding on a Mum site xx

Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope

Sept. 22, 2020, 8:57 p.m.

Kristin, your comments are not far too long, we welcome your comments, however long and we found, as others did, the information you gave very interesting. Carolinex

Molly

Sept. 23, 2020, 1:53 a.m.

Caroline likes to have a dig at me. I think I’m an easy target for her. Seeing as there are a limited amount of words allowed in a Blog, why is there not a limited amount of words in a comment. I apologised below so it surprises me that I have just read this when it was put to bed.

Dragonfly

Sept. 21, 2020, 9:04 p.m.

I can’t seem to answer directly under a comment from my phone either. There have been quite a few blogs recently where numerous comments have been far longer than the blog, but nobody has complained, and certainly not in such a rather unkind way. While perhaps not quite on point with the blog, Kristins’s experience of a mother with PNP and how it shaped her career was very moving. Mental health and nurturing are most definitely relevant here. Talk about shooting someone down in flames, yet you felt quite rightly assured that nobody would mind if your comment went slightly off topic.

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Molly

Sept. 21, 2020, 9:20 p.m.

Maybe give yourself a name so I know who I am talking to. I didn’t say anything on the first comment but then it went on and on. Sorry if my comment offended you.

Dragonfly

Sept. 22, 2020, 7:22 a.m.

Thank you for your apology, but I'd prefer if it were offered to Kristin. It was only the other day that someone was 'pulled up' for not avoiding a joke they didn't like. No one on here can have it all ways. We need to be kind to each other. Sending best wishes.

Kristin

Sept. 22, 2020, 4:05 a.m.

Molly - I'm sorry if I touched on a subject that was not what you wanted to hear about - the main emphasis of my comment was actually on early nurturing and the importance of touch in firing the neurons and wiring the brain pathways, which I believe did relate to the subject matter. I appreciate this can be an emotive subject. I accept that my comments are probably too long, but that has always been an issue for me - when I am motivated to respond to something in writing I can't seem to write concisely, but, like everyone on this platform I have the right to express myself (nobody is forced to continue reading if what I write doesn't interest them) - thank you to Anonymous for your comment in my defence (I did actually feel quite upset that my words triggered negative responses rather than recognising the positive message intended).

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Dragonfly

Sept. 22, 2020, 7:23 a.m.

Kristin, I felt quite sad that I hadn't known that fascinating information many years ago when I was a young mum, and that I didn't have someone as caring as you around to help implement it. x

Molly

Sept. 22, 2020, 12:54 p.m.

Apologies Kristin xx

Anna

Sept. 22, 2020, 10 a.m.

I think that mental rehearsal is an important technique with lots of applications. There are types of meditation (metta bhavana, mudita bhavana, karuna bhavana, and upekkha bhavana) that have been used for nearly 3000 years which develop loving kindness, sympathetic joy (i.e. taking pleasure in the good fortune of others), compassion, and equanimity. They work by mentally rehearsing these responses to ourselves, to loved ones, to strangers, and to enemies. I find that doing them regularly has really changed how I respond to people. I'm kinder and more appreciative than I used to be. I feel other people's sorrows and joys more deeply than I used to. I'm happier too, as a result. So mental rehearsal is nothing new, and it works.

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Lex

Sept. 22, 2020, 2:47 p.m.

I agree, Anna. Is one of these the wonderful one where we rehearse love to someone we have difficulties with?

Anna

Sept. 22, 2020, 3:44 p.m.

Yes. They work similarly. We practice love for ourselves, a good friend, someone we feel neutral about, and a "difficult person". They could be someone who rubs us up the wrong way, someone who we're in conflict with, someone we dislike, someone who has hurt us, etc. The thing I love about this is that takes away the bitterness of the relationship, and means that people who don't have my best interests at heart, don't get to determine the kind of person I will be in the future. The others are where we use the same process of contemplating different people, as above. In compassion meditation we contemplate how people have bodies, minds, thoughts and feelings, have suffered physical and emotional pain and suffering, just like we have, and so we let compassion arise and wish them to have the support and resources they need to overcome the suffering they experience. For sympathetic joy, it's about visualising them experiencing joy in their lives, and feeling the joy that arises in ourselves as a result. These meditations can be really challenging to do, but they are so rewarding.

Sal

Sept. 22, 2020, 8:37 p.m.

Hi Lex, a nice reminder of the power of positive thinking! And of the anchoring power of the senses. Yet although what you write is true (IMO), it's still vital, and tricky, to tread the fine line between urging people toward healthier thoughts, but not unleashing guilt for the times when we feel unable to rise out of the blues. A propos of which, see my comments above on Kristin's section, about the effects on us of pre-verbal experiences. In the good phases, when verbal tools _will_ work for me, I use a couple of techniques I've learned in co-counselling, very simple ones. First one: Call to mind some things that are 'good and new' in my life - however small they may be. Good, e.g. a nice taste, sight, achievement, whatever... . New, maybe just new today, or perhaps a small 'first (first apple from the garden? first mist of the autumn?) '; or a pleasure renewed after absence. Second one: 'something I'm looking forward to'. Again, needn't be big. A nice cup of tea after a walk. A snug and warm bed. etc. The power of treats eh ? .... Very best wishes, hoping you feel restored now. Sal x

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Kristin

Sept. 23, 2020, 4:54 a.m.

Thank you Anonymous for your additional comment - I too feel sad that too many mother's of young babies don't get the kind and caring support they need. Thank you Molly for your apology - I realise that I must have touched a "nerve" with you on this point as you have made positive comments to my previous responses to other blogs (assuming it is the same Molly!) I know I am often over-sensitive to critisism. Sal - Thank you for your supportive comment and I'm glad the information helped your understanding of yourself. I like your suggestions of thinking of something "good" or "new" - no matter how small. Anna - thank you for the interesting information on the types of meditation - I love the concept of "sympathetic joy!", also the principles of having love for ourselves, love for a good friend, love for someone we feel neutral about and love for a "difficult" person.

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Molly

Sept. 23, 2020, 2:21 p.m.

Hi Kristin My comment was unnecessary and reading it back it sounded very rude. It did touch a raw nerve yes, partly because I don’t have children, partly because I thought of my own mum who was never very affectionate. She wants to hug me these days which I find really hard. I agree with what you said, and describe. It’s such an important time of a life, the first few months of Nurturing and loving. I feel sad that I didn’t experience a baby on my breast and annoyed at those that take it for granted. So thank you for your responses and your understanding. I’m working on trying not to be so easily irritated! Everything seems to irritate me these days. Thanks again. Love Molly xx

Kristin

Sept. 23, 2020, 4:07 p.m.

Bless you Molly and sending you a hug. I also had a challenging relationship with my own mother, I can relate to what you say. I also find myself being easily irritated when I am stressed. Love Kristin x x

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Molly

Sept. 23, 2020, 4:45 p.m.

Xxxx

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