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One step at a time. Saturday October 26, 2013

Some days are a lot harder than others.

When I'm feeling particularly helpless, even the most simple tasks seem like mountains to overcome.

I have a problem with putting too much pressure on myself to achieve a set number of things in a day, and when these things go undone, I feel as though I've set myself up for failure.

That is why it's important to give yourself a push on those days that seem worthless, even if it is just brushing your teeth and washing your face.

I try and surround myself with things that I know boost my mood even if only a little, such as music, cooking or reading. Those little steps I have taken in the morning have provided me with the energy I need later in the day, whereas if I'd wallowed for hours and wasted the morning I would've undoubtedly felt worse.

So I suppose my advice is to not put unfair pressure on yourself, and to take those dark days one step at a time.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment on our Blogspot:

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Julia Sat, Oct 26th 2013 @ 7:36am

What a lovely helpful post Melissa. Thank you. Am in a rush (to get ready for a longish journey) otherwise I would write more about what you have said.

Victoria Sat, Oct 26th 2013 @ 9:00am

This sounds so much like me. In my worst depressive period I needed some way of recognising any level of achievement. I labelled index cards with titles like 'wash', 'cook food', 'leave house'. If I managed an activity I gave myself a gold star for that day. Literally, a gold star. If I didn't manage any I had previous days to look back on and think 'I did it then, I'll be able to do it again'. It may sound childish but it helped get me through the very small pleasure I got from the stars sometimes made the difference of whether I managed the activity that day. Victoria

Daren Sat, Oct 26th 2013 @ 3:12pm advice is to not put unfair pressure on yourself...

Excellent advice. I tend to put pressure on myself and beat myself up at times.

A helpful quote: We overestimate what we can achieve in a day and underestimate what we can achieve in a year. This is a widespread human challenge. Most people, including myself, will set a list of to-dos for today that is impossible to achieve. I overestimate what I can realistically get done today. I underestimate the interruptions, the distractions and my ability to maintain focus on the tasks. However, we underestimate our potential to create over the course of a year – if I do a little bit each day. ~Conor Neill (via

Julia Sat, Oct 26th 2013 @ 7:17pm

Back now! I hope you feel a sense of achievement Melissa for writing this? You sounded like I do on a down day. I sometimes write blogs but am a coward; I always write them when I'm having a good day, when I feel my writing flows. I couldn't write one today! However I sometimes wonder if I should write a blog when I'm sleep deprived (my hang up), have little energy and feel boring. Reading yours today makes me feel as if maybe I might sound good and meaningful (like you do) even if I don't feel great or as great as I know I can feel (but rarely, hence not many blogs from yours truly).
Anyway I do hope you are pleased to see your name in print. Honestly, it takes a lot of effort to sit down and I was going to say "put pen to paper" but you know what I mean.

Anonymous Sat, Oct 26th 2013 @ 9:43pm

Melissa darling - that's a BIG "Oh Yeah!" from me! This blog speaks to our heart on the bad days. Thank you for being courageous enough to write and post it.

Tiffany Turbin Santos Sun, Oct 27th 2013 @ 5:41pm

@Victoria: What a great idea with the index cards and stars! I don't think it is childish, but it is a great way to stick with the basics when times are hard.

Ruth Mowbray Sun, Oct 27th 2013 @ 6:33pm

I find getting going in the morning hard and also keeping positive throughout the day hard too.

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