One of those days

12 Nov 2020
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My mind is clouded. My brain is racing. I have knots in my tummy. I feel guilty. Angry. Sad. Desperately disillusioned and disappointed. 

It’s 6.30 am and I need to get out of bed and get the kids up and get them to school and get back to my desk to work and do a supermarket shop and collect the kids and make the dinner and tidy up and bring them to their activities and put on a wash and change the beds and make a work call and a zoom social call and bring the dog for a walk and - oh lords, the hot water still isn’t working - I must call the plumber (again) and book a session with my therapist and buy more masks for the kids for school (where do those masks go?!?) and…

Deep breaths. 

One step at a time. 

My dad used to say: ‘do what’s in front of you’.

I put on my dressing gown and go downstairs, make a cup of tea and bring it into the back garden. Just twenty seconds breathing in the air, the dog at my feet, sipping my tea. Fighting back the tears. Fighting back this feeling of dread. What am I dreading? I don’t even know. But it sure is going to be one of those days and it’s not even 7am yet.

We all have them. The days when we push ourselves like treacle to get through each hour. Aiming for bedtime. That’s when we can escape the day, the disappointment, the dread. A few stolen moments letting the tears flow. 

For me, the tears can come in the car. I drop the kids off at school and I let the dog out to do a wee and my mantra is: ‘you can cry once you’re on the road again, you’re okay, you can do this, you’re okay…’

Deep breaths.

Do what’s in front of me. 

Back in the car. On the drive home to work, I turn the dial on the radio. No more Covid talk. I can’t listen to it this morning. Put on a song. Find something uplifting. Maybe I won’t cry this morning? Maybe I will sing instead?

Oh I love this station. Always an 80s classic to be heard. It’s Cyndi Lauper singing ‘True colours’ and I’m singing along. Loudly. Badly. Making up my own lyrics. Some of them, naughty. No, they are actually rude. Irreverent. Who cares? No one can hear. Just me and the dog. And Cyndi. 

I pull up at traffic lights. A man looks over from the car beside me. I’m half crying. Half laughing. Half singing. Half cursing. He looks a little nervous or is he amused? Maybe both. I don’t care. This is my space.

If I can sing and curse and feel alive, I’m doing okay. 

It’s 8.30 am and I will get through today. 

I’ll do what’s in front of me. 

Mind yourselves out there, my Moodscope friends. Especially when it’s one of those days…

Salt Water Mum

A Moodscope member.

A Moodscope member.

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Comments

Molly

Nov. 12, 2020, 4:12 a.m.

Oh SWM you describe your days so well and the difficulties they bring. Love and hugs, Molly xx

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 9:31 a.m.

Thanks Molly x

Paul

Nov. 12, 2020, 4:15 a.m.

Hi Salt water mum I can really relate to the morning dread. Bizarrely I am a plumber often driving to a job with tears in my eyes. Frightened I may not be able to do the job. The job usually goes well but my mind tells me otherwise. Your dad gave you good advice and I’m sure your doing a great job as a mum one of the hardest jobs in the world. Give yourself a huge pat on the back. Mornings can be awful but the feelings often lift as the day goes on. Talking to customers help distract my mind, usually with a nice cup of tea. I am fortunate to have lovely Regular customers. Here’s to a good day. Paul with leaky eyes.

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 9:38 a.m.

Thank you Paul. I have had a plumber here sorting out things in the new house. Cheerful man who I never suspected would be anxious or upset. But on one visit, he was clearly rattled as a previous customer had shouted and cursed at him. He was a fine big man but he was shook. He talked through what happened with me in detail and admitted his upset. We all have our fears and vulnerabilities, even those who hide it well. Hope your day is going well :-))

the room above the garage

Nov. 12, 2020, 12:46 p.m.

Paul with leaky eyes, i always make tea time with house visitors/trades. Vital for me and, I’m learning, for you guys too. Love ratg x

The Gardener

Nov. 12, 2020, 2:48 p.m.

My painter, worked for me for 10 years, for others for 30 - excellent, cheerful, utterly reliable - super wife with good salary, committed suicide at beginning of first lock-down - I'm still shattered because everywhere I turn I see his work.

Lexi

Nov. 12, 2020, 2:55 p.m.

Paul, i feel the same way every day going to my job. I feel like an imposter but like you the jobs usually turn out fine. I heard someone once say don't be afraid to take imperfect action. That has become my mantra. Dry your tears. You're doing great. xo

Paul

Nov. 12, 2020, 4:11 p.m.

Thanks everyone for your nice replies. Most decent trades really appreciate cups of tea and the odd biscuit. It can be lonely working on your own. I also believe most decent tradespeople have ocd or anxiety. Awful to hear about your Decorater Gardener. I have a lot of elderly customers and I always sit and chat, obviously after I’ve finished and they have paid. Many pour their troubles to me I am a good listener and they know they can trust me. Paul

Molly

Nov. 12, 2020, 4:19 p.m.

In my last job, I had to read articles out on the phone to my boss. It reminded me of a fear I had when at school. We all had to take turns reading a paragraph from a book. I was so petrified, I would say I had a sore throat! So at work, I would be almost trembling, I remember saying to someone “I’m just rubbish at this job” upset and annoyed with myself. I got used to it in the end....but yes I think we all doubt ourselves to a degree xx

Molly

Nov. 12, 2020, 4:26 p.m.

Oh Paul, you sound lovely, when are you coming round to see to my leaky tap? Xx

Molly

Nov. 12, 2020, 4:38 p.m.

Gardener, I remember you telling us about your painter, so very sad. My cousin jumped in front of a train on Tuesday. A read the news article before I knew it was her. She survived amazingly. Took them over an hour to rescue her from under the train. How did she survive? A miracle. I’m still in shock xx

Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 5:33 p.m.

Oh Molly, what a way to find out about your poor cousin. That's shocking. So sad but yes yes, it's a miracle she's alive. I hope her injuries aren't too traumatic. My heart goes out to her x

Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 5:50 p.m.

Like Molly, I too remember what happened to your painter, TG. Poor man. And his poor wife x

Lexi

Nov. 12, 2020, 5:54 p.m.

Molly, that's awful. My heart goes out to her and to you. xo

Lexi

Nov. 12, 2020, 5:56 p.m.

I had a neighbor friend who took his own life, now four years ago this month. Our garages are directly opposite. I miss him and our alley talks. We were both struggling. I wish I could have done more. xo

Paul

Nov. 12, 2020, 7:53 p.m.

Awful to hear that Molly can’t image how difficult that is for all concerned. I hope she can get the help she desperately needs. Paul

Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 8:06 p.m.

And Lexi, that's very sad about your neighbour friend. I'm thinking now of people I know who have ended their lives too. Far too many. An awful lot of loss out there, deeply felt. I have a beautiful special someone in my mind, far too young, far too tragic. Mind your lovely selves Moodscopers xx

Molly

Nov. 13, 2020, 1:53 a.m.

Thanks everyone, she is now getting help. I’m amazed she survived with just minor injuries. I haven’t seen her for ages but it’s really bothered me. Just could have been fatal xx

DAVE

Nov. 12, 2020, 6:59 a.m.

HI SWM, Your blogs are always complete, no stone unturned, you describe a routine that you could do with your eyes shut... Please don't misunderstand me but there is something missing, but because I'm not party to your every move it seems to me that your day is very 'humdrum'. Where is that 1 hour in you busy day that is solely YOURS !!! Now that could be the distraction that requires every effort on your part to 'DO' something that will break the 'RUMUNATORY' mundane events of EVERY DAY.... When I've been 'Stressed Out with responsibilities of a family with the kids, I'de feel overwhelmed with the burden of responsibility.... I found I felt a bit like 'Cabin Fever...Almost screaming pitch !! So I varied each day... One one occasion I took a test drive in a car that I could never afford !! It was fun pretending I had money to buy... Another day I take myself out to an Ice Rink, pub or club where others were about. Void prevents such activities...But there are within a stonesthrough from your home somebody who is struggling with adversities far to complex and could do with a little TLC too !!! SWM, Zyou have hinted in your other blogs that maybe thats hard to do... I find without exception that just 1 hour to give myself and someone in need...'LIFTS' my mood, Paul above has that 'KEY' to prevent Rumination, once he's done a jo...Talking for a few minutes gives him the necessary motivation to move on to his next call. You SWM, can 'incorporate A THING to do EVERY DAY to 'Distract 'The Subconscious Mind' and fool it into believing that you are in control of your mind... My recent Sept/Oct blog 'Conscious or Subconscious...Who's in control ??? Has...if determined, will change the way we think... But requires us to find 'something to do either Mindfully or Physically toward someone less fortunate than ourselves... Please try and find that time in you very busy day...Just for yourself to feel part of life that distracts the routine which has you 'Tied Down *** bless you, you're just amazing in all you do, you're dedicated to your child, who as he/she grows ups will love you and be there for you later in your life..Xx

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 9:43 a.m.

Thanks Dave. I don't like the thought of my days being 'humdrum' but I do take your point about 'distracting the mind'. Interestingly, since Covid and its restrictions, I have been doing more walks, more yoga and quite a few sea swims. All inbetween work, kids etc. I went for a swim last Sunday morn at 9am and it was cold but my goodness I felt alive...!

DAVE

Nov. 12, 2020, 10:03 a.m.

Wonderful SWM thats just my point. Always distracting the mind when at the edge of the precipice !!

Molly

Nov. 12, 2020, 3:02 p.m.

Good *** SWM, swimming in the sea in this weather? You brave woman!!!! Brrrrrr xx

Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 5:51 p.m.

I love it Molly - it's one of the few times I feel 'mindful' as in ... it's so cold, all I can think about is 'I'm in the sea' !!

The Gardener

Nov. 12, 2020, 6:19 p.m.

Dave, once a friend and I, very smartly dressed, went round London art galleries pretending we were rich and looking for Old Masters for the West wing. when she got back she was so shocked at her pretence her husband said she was not going out with me again!

Rachel

Nov. 13, 2020, 7:26 a.m.

Thats really funny and true. You are brave swimming in the cold sea. its good to hear you enjoy it. I use to when i lived by the ocean and with a wetsuit. It is so calming and meditative and exciting ehen you see fish.

Bearofliddlebrain

Nov. 13, 2020, 7:27 a.m.

SWM...sorry this is a later response - I wish I lived near the sea....I’d be in every day. Am waiting to hear when I can start at a local lake that is used specifically for open water swims and diving! Bear hugs ;)

Bearofliddlebrain

Nov. 13, 2020, 7:29 a.m.

Morning Rachel! Glad I’m not the only one going over previous blogs and catching up!! Bear x x x

Salt Water Mum

Nov. 13, 2020, 11:35 a.m.

Lovely to read your responses Bear and Rachel, fellow water dippers :-))) I had a little swim this morning (post school drop off, pre work) and I feel invigorated :-))) x

Adam G

Nov. 12, 2020, 7:05 a.m.

Yes! Totally agree with Molly and Paul. I don’t know whether it helps you or not, but this is what makes Moodscope so valuable for me: knowing that I am not alone when I feel this way. When you have one of those days, and you’re experiencing morning dread - or 3am dread... - and the day seems like an unscalable mountain, so many others are right there alongside you in spirit; understanding, sympathising and not judging.

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 9:44 a.m.

Absolutely Adam - we are not alone. That thought helps me so much too.

Ach UK

Nov. 12, 2020, 2:58 p.m.

Totally agree Adam. It is a lifeline.

Daisy

Nov. 12, 2020, 7:28 a.m.

Hi salt Water Mum or should it be ‘salt of the earth’ you are there for your children and dog. It sounds very tough but it seems you are doing a fantastic job. Take care take heart

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Valerie

Nov. 12, 2020, 9:09 a.m.

Well said Daisy! x

Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 9:45 a.m.

Thanks Daisy and Val, sure I'm blushing now! x

Lex

Nov. 12, 2020, 7:43 a.m.

OMG... I was in the car with you...!!! https://youtu.be/qs1pZ9jPwA8 U2's, "Some Days Are Better Than Others." The idea, in the song, of some days not even being able to stand the look of a puppy!!! Some days, I see happy people, and don't feel happy for them!!! Lyrics: Some days are dry, some days are leaky Some days come clean, other days are sneaky Some days take less, but most days take more Some slip through your fingers and onto the floor Some days you're quick, but most days you're speedy Some days you use more force than is necessary Some days just drop in on us Some days are better than others Some days it all adds up And what you got is not enough Some days are better than others Some days are slippy, other days sloppy Some days you can't stand the sight of a puppy Your skin is white but you think you're a brother Some days are better than others Some days you wake up with her complaining Some sunny days you wish it was raining Some days are sulky, some days have a grin And some days have bouncers and won't let you in Some days you hear a voice Taking you to another place Some days are better than others Some days are honest, some days are not Some days you're thankful for what you've got Some days you wake up in the army And some days it's the enemy Some days are work, most days you're lazy Some days you feel like a bit of a baby Lookin' for Jesus and His mother Some days are better than others Some days you feel ahead You're making sense of what she said Some days are better than others Some days you hear a voice Taking you to another place Some days are better than others Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Adam Clayton / Dave Evans / Larry Mullen / Paul ; Hewson Some Days Are Better Than Others lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Universal Music Publishing Group

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 9:57 a.m.

Oh Lexipoo, I had completely forgotten about this U2 song to I just played it loud :-)) Thank you. Have you ever seen U2 live? They are amazing. I've seen them three times. Gawd I miss live gigs... thank goodness for music ...

Jul

Nov. 12, 2020, 10:11 a.m.

I've got tickets for two live gigs at the O2 and Royal Albert Hall next year! One was postponed last month because of guess what and another just announced. I can't wait. Jul xx

Lex

Nov. 12, 2020, 10:28 a.m.

How AMAZING!!! Jules! Lxx

Lex

Nov. 12, 2020, 10:29 a.m.

I've seen them once, redoing the Joshua Tree tour... bloomin' wonderful! Lxx

Orangeblossom

Nov. 12, 2020, 11:41 a.m.

Just listened to this at your recommendation Lexipooo. Shared the link with friends.

Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 11:44 a.m.

Oh FAB Jul... I hope the live gigs get going again soon. U2 are just electric live - or bloomin wonderful as you say Lexipoo :-)) We watched Niall Horan live at the Albert Hall last Saturday - live but playing to an empty theatre (what a beautiful theatre it is) all for a good cause. It was strange without the cheering and whooping and clapping and the dancing...

Molly

Nov. 12, 2020, 4:48 p.m.

I’ve never been keen on U2 but these lyrics are great Lex, thanks for sharing xx

Lex

Nov. 12, 2020, 6:46 p.m.

It's a great day for me, Molly, because I actually read all of them for the first time! xx

Lizzie

Nov. 12, 2020, 7:50 a.m.

Morning SWM, This......’ We all have them. The days when we push ourselves like treacle to get through each hour. Aiming for bedtime’ you describe it perfectly. I’m a mum of three school kids too and sometimes there is so much in front of me and so much to push through that I long for my bed at the end of the day. But we do it and our families love us. Your fresh air moment and singing in the car are great tonics. Keep safe, Lizzie

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 11:45 a.m.

Thanks Lizzie. Such a safe space here on Moodscope because we know that others will understand how we feel...

Sally

Nov. 12, 2020, 8:01 a.m.

Thank you, SWM. You have given us a little piece of you. Which resonates with us. Hit the spot, feel for you. Some days are sooo hard and repetitive and you just keep going. All power to your elbow. As Daisy suggests, you are Salt of the Earth. Good luck, and thank you. Big virtual hugs .

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 11:46 a.m.

What a lovely thing to say, thanks Sally. Virtual hugs back to you x

Jul

Nov. 12, 2020, 8:56 a.m.

Hello SWM Your description of those days is wonderful. It's just how I used to feel when I was working full time and had two children to look after and try to present some sort of cheery normality for them first thing. Many mornings I could hardly pull myself together. I may have said this before but on my way to work I would play Madonna very loud, such tracks as Express yourself, Don't Repress yourself. Music on the way to work with just me in the car broke the feelings of helplessness and not being able to cope for the 30 minute journey. However I still walked through the glass doors to the office with trepidation and dread. The first thing I did was make a cup of coffee if there wasn't a queue of people waiting to see me. I still don't like the mornings but as many have said here, it does get better throughout the day. Coffee helps me, a relaxing shower which helps tense muscles and just getting on with life. It's easier when you don't have to face anyone else during the day apart from those who understand/ are not too demanding. I loved every sentence of your blog SWM. Every word resonated and meant something to me. I was surprised actually that you described thoughts and feelings, emotions etc that I honestly thought only I experienced, sadly, unique to me. Many can describe how they feel but it has never mirrored exactly how I feel so thank you! Jul xx

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 11:56 a.m.

Your message has really touched me Jul. I know what you mean about seeing our feelings mirrored back to us. Am I the only one who feels like this? How is everyone else doing this life thing day after day, every single day? Is anyone else out there feeling despondent? Helpless? Hopeless? Constantly pretending to be coping well? I do remember years ago explaining to a close friend about how I felt. She asked questions like - what do you feel like when you wake up for example? And I told her. A bit like my blog - about the feelings of dread that I have to squash and squish and talk myself out of - And she said 'that's not how most people feel. That isn't the norm' - not at all in a mean way. In a concerned way. But also factual. 'Most people don't feel like this'. It really really struck me. I had sort convinced myself my feelings were 'the norm'. It actually brought me to therapy (which was and still is a very positive experience for me). I realise this is all a contradiction!! I go from 'this must be how everyone feels' to 'does anyone else feel like this?' !! Thanks goodness for Moodscope ! Hugs, swm x

Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 12:05 p.m.

And as for Madonna... yes, yes yes :-)))))

Jul

Nov. 12, 2020, 12:21 p.m.

!!! Hugs back. Jul xx

The Gardener

Nov. 12, 2020, 4:08 p.m.

You make me feel so square and old-fashioned. I have heard of U2 and Madonna, not of others - and never willingly listened to any of them! My 'pop' listening stopped with the Beatles!! xx

Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 6:39 p.m.

Ooooo I've seen Madonna live too... I LOVE live music gigs. I can lose myself in the loud music and the adrenaline and the dancing... (insert red dancing lady emoji :-))) )

Valerie

Nov. 12, 2020, 9:15 a.m.

Hello SWM, You describe it all so well.I wake every day with a clenched gut.All I have to do is get up and go downstairs for the mug of tea waiting for me,and that is a hurdle.I was once in the same low state,but with a young son to see too as well.I don't know how I coped (very badly I suspect) I like your Dad's advice.I will try to follow it today.Big hug,***

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Valerie

Nov. 12, 2020, 9:15 a.m.

Hello SWM, You describe it all so well.I wake every day with a clenched gut.All I have to do is get up and go downstairs for the mug of tea waiting for me,and that is a hurdle.I was once in the same low state,but with a young son to see too as well.I don't know how I coped (very badly I suspect) I like your Dad's advice.I will try to follow it today.Big hug,***

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 11:57 a.m.

Big Hug back to you Valerie. Yes, my dad was a man of few words but the ones he had were quite wise. I miss him. x

Orangeblossom

Nov. 12, 2020, 9:48 a.m.

Hi SWM, thanks for your great blog which I found very uplifting. Hope that your week improves as you go along.

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 11:58 a.m.

Thanks a mill Orangeblossom x

Sue

Nov. 12, 2020, 10:45 a.m.

Hi SWM, what a good description of your day, I cant imagine how you do it all. I don't have a lot I need to do but some days I understand the yearning for bed. Hope better days are on the way for you.

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 11:59 a.m.

Thanks so much Sue - here's to better days for us all x

The Gardener

Nov. 12, 2020, 11:12 a.m.

SWM - what an expressive blog! I am having 'one of those days' every day. Not from overload, but lack of any load. Other than keeping myself clean, fed, and house to certain standards, damned all I HAVE to do. Nothing goes right - this is fact. I have a project, order something on line - 4 things gone awry at the moment. It seems that so many people are shopping on line that their delivery service, generally so efficient pre you know what is swamped - the people who sell you stuff deny responsibility. You have a 'click' to trace goods, it says 'insecure site', and on it goes.

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 12:05 p.m.

Yes TG the postal service worldwide is inundated with parcels isn't it, while we've all been ordering online. My daughter is a big fan of online shopping, all fashion of course, and about half of the things she orders she then wants to return. Of course, it's me who has to organise the returns/labels/postage. It's ridiculously time consuming!! Best wishes to you x

the room above the garage

Nov. 12, 2020, 12:45 p.m.

Hello SWM, I’ve only scanned everyone’s replies because I know they’ll make me cry and I can’t schedule that yet...but...this is my life too (aside from the zoom social). And I’m getting better at taking tea breaks in the garden and watching the sky and listening to the sounds when I’m out there. You have it covered with music and a little weep, great outlets for releasing the pressure valves. I’m walking beside you, love ratg xx

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 1:43 p.m.

What a lovely thing to say Room... 'I'm walking beside you' . Truly comforting. Right back at you. Hugs x

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Danielle

Nov. 12, 2020, 2:21 p.m.

Dear SWM, I am in awe from this post. I feel for you and for everyone who replied. I know exactly how you are feeling and now that those feelings have mostly subsided because of my kids leaving home and my retirement from work, I just wish I could go back, but with the lack of anxiety that came with it. Since then, art has also helped me tremedously lower that anxiety level. I know how impossible it probably seems right now to follow Dave's suggestion of one hour (that is a lot of minutes!!) for yourself, but a five minute break is sometimes just enough to remind us that the sea is still out there and will still be in one year and in five years or that the wind was so soothing this morning. I often bring back to my memory the sound of the rain falling from the roof one summer during a cottage leasing. Thank you Lexipoo for sharing the song! Wishing you SWM and everyone else, soothing wind breaks as often as you need them! Lots of love.

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 5:55 p.m.

I am so pleased Disheveled Poet that you are commenting and blogging now (here's to the next one!) take care x

The Gardener

Nov. 12, 2020, 2:45 p.m.

SWM, looking again at your blog and my post the background worry is that all these problems (some very serious) have seriously dented my confidence - I thought they could not all be wrong - I was mis-reading mails, not concentrating, just worn out with it all - and no help, because I need a very competent bi-lingual person some of the time. Mail order is what we said - I get the order done, then, get to ticking what delivery I want the site just clams up. So, give up? No. because my winter 'cheer up plans' need the things I order. Christmas will cause a log-jam quite soon, I reckon. x

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 5:58 p.m.

Yes, TG we sure need to get organised for our xmas post - It would be a pretty glum xmas without presents.. a winter 'cheer up plan' sounds super TG x

Lexi

Nov. 12, 2020, 3:03 p.m.

Dear SWM, I love your writing. I was with you every step of the way. My daughter is 12 now and able to get herself up, get ready for school, etc. So I have more time to myself in the mornings. But yesterday I was so sad, thinking about how when she was little she would hold my hand everywhere and made us stop at every playground so she could run around. And how it all seemed to go in the blink of an eye. And how most days I was weighed down with grief and dread and was so weary trying to hide it from her. These days I am much better but I was nodding right along with you reading your blog. You are doing amazing. I'm in awe of you. xo

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The Gardener

Nov. 12, 2020, 4:12 p.m.

Lexi, I have been 'landed' with hundreds of books as people 'cleared the garage'. I have found some gems, now reading for the sake of it. One, claims, thriller, is mostly about parents questioning how there adorable 2 y old turned into awkward 16.

Lexi

Nov. 12, 2020, 5:53 p.m.

I need to read this book TG xo

Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 6:02 p.m.

Thanks so much Lexi, you're very kind. Lords, my kids are old enough too to get up themselves and get their lunches but to be honest, they need me to rouse them and get them motivated. Maybe none of us are morning people!! Yes, I loved the 'hand holding' stage too. I miss that. I feel I still have all the responsibility and work of solo parenting but less of the cuddles and sweetness that used to compensate for it ... These days I take any hugs and 'thank yous' I am sparingly offered !!! x

Anonymous

Nov. 12, 2020, 4:27 p.m.

I salute you SWM! Thanks for your blog and for sharing your father's wisdom. I'd rather stick with that than the advice I was given which was 'You were not born to be happy'...and 'No one owes you a living'. But once you realise that not everyone has The Perfect Life and we all have to work hard to negotiate our way through it, something Captain Sir Tom Moore has written might help, "For all those finding it difficult:the sun will shine on you again and the clouds will go away. Remember that tomorrow will be a good day". Go well.

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 6:35 p.m.

Oh Anonymous they are harsh words that you heard. I am sorry to hear that. You are right - not everyone has the perfect life. I have to work very very hard at not comparing myself to others, it is a sure way to send me on a negative downwards spiral. We all have our struggles. I like your quote - 'Remember that tomorrow will be a good day...' Rather Scarlett O'Hara-esque don't you think? :-))))) take care care

Marigold

Nov. 12, 2020, 4:31 p.m.

Gosh, how I recall those days of feeling I had done a days work before the days work! Parenting is so undervalued. Keep Going SWM.

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 12, 2020, 6:36 p.m.

You are soooo right Marigold - parenting is indeed undervalued. And solo parenting even more so.... Deep breaths and onwards... x

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Molly

Nov. 13, 2020, 1:40 a.m.

I can’t even imagine how anyone can look after kids and work as well, I have had some experience of looking after a child. I helped bring my little brother up. Just for an example. Because I don’t have children, people think I don’t understand. But I do. Hats off to you SWM and others out there. I seriously don’t know if I could cope with all you do. Even when I was well, I would have struggled so much, especially as a single parent, to do all that you do. Not forgetting the dog!! Gosh they need as much attention as children don’t they. Keep plodding on....I love the fact you could share your typical day with us. Love Molly xx

Salt Water Mum

Nov. 13, 2020, 6:49 a.m.

Thanks Molly and you’re so right about the dog ! I had no idea how much attention he would need. - especially such a nervous needy little mutt like we have !! Your cousin is in my thoughts. X

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Molly

Nov. 13, 2020, 7:29 p.m.

Thank you SWM xx

Bearofliddlebrain

Nov. 13, 2020, 7:38 a.m.

"I must call the plumber (again) and book a session with my therapist" i laughed when I read this and thought - just talk to the plumber when he arrived - I bet that would help ;). Then I read "Paul the Plumber with Leaky Eyes’ " response - he would sit and have a good chat and listen. I loved to read your blog SWM...and although your friend said no one felt the same - you know different as do many, many Moodscopers here. Sorry am late replying. Not sure if you will see this and mine and Rachel’s responses regarding open water swimming ;)). Am hoping that when I can go, I’ll be brave and swim in the chilly depths!! Go well today, SWM...with a few Bear hugs x x x

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 13, 2020, 11:37 a.m.

Lovely to hear from you, Bear. I really do enjoy reading the comments - whenever they are posted. I hope you are back swimming very soon (though a friend says I am more of a 'tea bag' than a swimmer in the winter months - because I dip in and out!) Thank you Moodscopers x

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Shizzle

Nov. 13, 2020, 7:06 p.m.

I know I'm a day late, but I still wanted to log in and say just how spot on your description was SWM. Absolutely perfect: exactly how I was feeling yesterday. Thank you for sharing so articulately, I really appreciated it xx

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Salt Water Mum

Nov. 13, 2020, 7:50 p.m.

Oh thank you Shizzle, that means a lot to me. Best wishes to you x

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