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Once upon a time. Thursday June 9, 2016

I have never been gifted at picking a title for a blog, a poem, or even a shop. Some people seem to have a knack of choosing captivating witty tiles but not me. I state the obvious. What I wanted convey was how I find the stories people tell in their comments to the blog so fascinating, so full of honesty and so raw I start to cry.

I wanted a title that would acknowledge the great depth of experience and wisdom of Moodscopers by encouraging everyone from those who rarely write to those who write daily to share their voices.

The titles I rejected were:

Listen to your voice.

Let your voice be heard.

Tell me a story.

Telling tales,


You get the idea that I have no skill at this!!

I wanted a title that would inspire everyone reading this to tell a story.

I find I can learn so much and connect with others through their stories. I know some people don't feel they have much to offer in a comment or are not up to writing at all. A response does not have to be long. One word, a simple phrase can contain much emotion.

I want to hear your story anything you wish to share. I find the diversity in experiences and lifestyles that appear in comments refreshing.

Not everyone feels confident in writing for many reasons but this a very safe place to start. I am Queen of typos, have been known to post a reply 3 times and to call people the wrong name or misspell their name. So no one judges. There are no grammar police here just friendly people who love to read your words.

So if you have never commented before or you comment a little, daily, or somewhere in between have a go.

Start with Once upon a time and write a few words, a phrase or two, a sentence or a paragraph.

It can be sad, or happy, angry, calm, or any emotion you like.

Just type Once upon a time and see what happens.

I look forward to reading your stories.

A Moodscope member

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Anonymous Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 6:50am

Today's post sums up a lot of how I feel about writing - especially if it's for other people. I love those titles and "Telling Tales" is a great one - are we telling the truth or are we making things up - about others or even about ourselves. The stories we tell ourselves about our lives to shore up the reasons we give for the way we behave.
I've often thought that, if I wrote an autobiography, the title would be:" Losing My Voice" - trying to work out how I went from being an extrovert, enthusiastic young person to someone with little self confidence and a reluctance to speak out. I'm reclaiming my voice little by little - and the other title I love is "Let your voice be heard" Your talent for titles may be greater than you realise, Leah!

Rupert Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 8:42am

Anonymous I was interested by your comments about the stories we tell ourselves to shore up the reasons we behave. I have certain behaviour traits which I suppose you would define as addiction of which I am not proud. I have tended to explain it away as a result of my depression in that it is a way of escaping from it if only momentarily. Ultimately of course that behaviour doesn't make me happy and ends up on the list of things I hate about myself. But still the self deceit continues!

Another Sally Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 8:48am

Hi Anonymous, I came on to find some comfort in the lovely Moodscope community. Feeling a bit sad today.. I am so glad to have read your comment because 'losing my voice' really resonates with me and I had not realised how much it hurt. I think I was quite voluble as a child and was told to pipe down so much that I shut up Thanks Leah for a thought provoking blog.. Another Sally

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:04am

Jul, Thanks for your insightful comments. I like your title,Losing My Voice, but I think you will have to name it Loisng the finding my voice.!

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:08am

Rupert, Thanks for your comments. I wrote blog recently, Would I lie to myself. You are aware you do it which is a good thing. I think many peo;le do it to some extent. I know it is something I am always working on and sometimes I do it and am not aware I am doing it.

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:11am

Another Sally, Thanks for your comments. Unlike you and Jul I feel I have never lost my voice because I have not found it. Thats what I said about stories it is interesting to read about others experience.

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:21am

Anonymous, Apologies, have had a long day here and confused you with Jul, . Apologies to Jul. I wrote about all the mistakes I make in blogs and this is just another confusing names!! Anon, Indeed your comments have generated great comments. You were the first and I appreciate your thoughtful comments. Apologies again!!

Jonathan Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 5:21pm

Once upon a about calling us simply Moodscopers. Regardless of what we are doing, blog, test etc surly thats what we all are. I'm guessing people will come back with much better idears but I thought it just sounds right. As for the once upon a time bit.... Once upon a time I served 32 years in the British Army. I have spinal injuries from a "friendly fire" incident. What a stupid name as just me it really did'nt feel very friendly. I have lived with chronic pain since they attempted to fix me 18 years ago. Then I went to Bosnia those sights are imprinted on my brain. All in the name of religon - its beyond comprehension. 3 years ago (a week ago) I had had enough of it all, and tried to kill myself. Sounds silly but felt so lonely despite there being people around. Now for the last 3 years since leaving the Army I just sit about and provide a taxi service as and when required. I feel that I have very little in any impact on those around me and Everyone would be much better off if I was here. I have just updated my will and left all organs for transplant if they are of any use. And asked that my body be left to medical science (for young doctors to practice on. So thats my story, i know that people have gone thro so much more. And to those people I apologies for my lack of strength. The funny thing is I have only ever wanted to help people. I was a medic in the Army and. Medic First Responder answering emergency calls if an ambulance could not make it to a patient in time. Now all I do is sit here taking all the meds proscribed. Puting on the Morphine patches and being totally useless. I dont want any pitty I don't need or deserve any. You said you wanted a store and this is mine. Regards to all the other Moodscopers and I truly hope you all find peace . You all seem such nice people

Anonymous Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 6:37pm

Hi Jonathan. What a brave war hero you are. I agree that the term friendly fire is ridiculous. Were you paralysed by the injury? I always feel so sorry and sad for soldiers who go overseas with the army in war situations and come back wounded. What a potential waste of a life. And all the wars have been for nothing I feel. What do you think about The Chilcot report coming out soon? It's finally being published on the 6th July I think. It's taken longer to publish its results than the Iraq war took. You must have sought help for PTSD on your return? Why have you not been included in any of the Govt programmes for war veterans who have been injured? Please do not kill yourself. You have so much to give. Are you able to counsel other war victims? You should continue to write on Moodscope. Can you write us a blog perhaps? Contact Caroline will be more than happy to read a blog from you. I mean what you have written above is like a blog so you could repeat that.Please think about it. We need you as much as you need us. It's interesting for us to have a new member who has fought or helped in war situations. Believe me! You are a new interest for us all. You could shine a new light on Moodscope. Shake us up a bit with your story! Julxxx

Hopeful One Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 7:31pm

Hi Jonathan- you see yourself as totally useless but I see you as a strong person despite all the sad and bad things that have happened to you because are still standing and able to talk to us . You need professional help which involves talking to someone who will listen to what you have to say face to face . I suggest you get in phone the Samaritans in the first instance . They will give you the time and space that you need and further telephone numbers and resources. Above all DO NOT LOSE HOPE. What you are going through is tough but believe me things will get better , things will improve.

Mary Wednesday Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 7:50pm

Hi Jonathan - your voice is heard at exactly the right time - just as I wrote to the photographer Michael Stokes ( - and do not click if pictures of nude men offends you) who has recently had exposure for his work with wounded veterans. I was bemoaning the fact that at present I do not feel Moodscope serves the needs of the military and ex-military community. We know this community suffers high rates of depression and suicide - you are not alone, Jonathan - you are so not alone. Please will you consider writing for Moodscope? You cannot know a) how much just your honest sharing will mean to others in your position and b) how much that sharing can help you to cope with the pain yourself. The option of suicide accompanies many of us daily, an ominous, yet somehow comfortable friend. Donny O'Malley (US Military), in his book "Embarrassing confessions of a Marine Lieutenant", says of the veterans who die this way, "The demonic parasites that have lived inside them since going to combat will eat at them every day until they finally decide the only way to kill the demon is to kill the host." You, Jonathan, know about that. We, who suffer from "domestic" depression (for lack of a better term) do not. You can help your brothers and sisters who suffer like you. No - you don't have to. There's no compulsion. If you are not called to do this then you're not called. End of story. but I do hope you will consider writing for Moodscope. I know how much it helps me, even as the folk here say I help them. I would love to see you help and be helped too.

Anonymous Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 8:11pm

Rupert, it may be a step in the process. It sounds like you're starting to accept that the addiction-like behaviours might not be healthy for you, but that for now they feel like a way to cope with your depression. I've experienced this at times as well. Sometimes it can be both, and it can be helpful to ponder that situation.

Anonymous Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 8:25pm

Jonathan, others have echoed my thoughts better than I could express. But I still wanted to thank you for sharing your story and experience.

Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 10:20pm

Jonathan, firstly I would like to thank you for serving 32 years in the army protecting us and vulnerable others. Just because you have now left, please don't forget what you have done and how proud you should be. I'm sure you're family are proud of you and probably just pleased you are now able to be with them more. I'm sorry that our government haven't helped you and the other veterans more as every one of you deserve all the help you can get. I can't imagine the horrors you must have seen as a medic. I love the idea of you writing a blog for Moodscope. I am sure that all the members, including other veterans and people with chronic pain of which there are many, would find it very interesting. Have a think about it. By the way, I call all our members Moodscopers! Great minds think alike... Best wishes. Carolinex

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 10:59pm

Johnathon, I have just woken up( I am in Australia) and seen your very moving comment and moodscopers compassionate responses to it. I had no idea that the words once upon a time could bring out such an heroic and emotionally poignant story. I also thank you for your service in the army and as both my parents served in the war and I know how poorly treated veterans can be. I wont repeat what the other moodscopers have said but I will echo their sentiments. Like Caroline and others I would love to read a blog and also read your comments. This is a wonderful community and you are the very reason it is such an amazing place. I feel touched that you chose to respond to my blog and share your thoughts and experience in such an honest way. As we say here, "God on ya mate!!". Kind thoughts, Leah x

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:02pm

Thanks to Jul, Hopeful One, Mary Wednesday. Anon 8.25am, and to all those who read and moved by Johnathon's comments. I am so pleased to be part of such a caring community.

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:05pm

Caroline and Adrian, I just want to thank you for enabling us to have such a place as Moodscope where we can share and listen to other's stories. It means so much to us all.I am sitting here so far away geographically fro the other writers here but I feel so close and connected. Leah xx

the room above the garage Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:30pm

Hello Jonathon, I echo everyone else...I'm glad you're here, I hope you stay with us and realise that if you do blog, you won't only be releasing your story which will help you but you will help others...and that process keeps repeating. Now you're here...welcome! Love ratg x.

JohnWalker Sat, Jun 11th 2016 @ 4:57am

Jonathan, to start with I need to say that am probably unable to fathom the depth of your pain. But I had a Zen teacher who, as a child, grew up in a Czech concentration camp. He was told by his Zen teacher: Yes, you can kill yourself. But you could also help others. He became one of my Zen teachers, he did not kill himself but died a year ago at age 73. I hope you find a way back to life. Maybe Zen could help you. My therapist was also doing Zen meditation. He was wounded in the second world war and was in pain most of the time.

Leah Sat, Jun 11th 2016 @ 6:39am

Johnwalker, That is so interesting about your Zen teacher and therapist.

The Gardener Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 7:30am

I've done loads of articles, historical novels, local history but Leah's ideas? 'Tell me a story'. At the christening of our youngest grand-son, his brother, thought to be 'difficult' not made any better by his mother's treatment of him, looked like being sent to bed in the middle of the festivities - hysterics would follow. I had to do something which d-in-law would not see as 'interfering'. Took child on my knee - and, no idea where it came from, started with Leo the Lazy Lion.'More' said the boy. In rapid succession came 'Hetty the Happy Hippo' 'The Giraffe who wanted to be small' then 'Gordon' started. The first three came at once. 'Gordon' materialised as a wicked goose who always got into trouble - he eventually wrote his own books. He had a mentor, Wise Goose' who would occasionally go on a bender. They were all very anthropomorphic, but they were such fun to write - and still, I think, read well in comparison with much rubbish I've read to children over the years, much of which seems to insult their intelligence

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:15am

Gardener You are a great storyteller, all your comments and blogs have such wonderful tales that I always feel I am transported to another place and time. I love Wise Goose who go on a bender!!- don't read that in many children's books!! Thanks so much.

Mary Wednesday Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 2:20pm

Oh Gardener! Were these tales ever published? I would so love to read about Gordon the Wicked Goose and Wise Goose who occasionally threw off the shackles of wisdom and went on a bender! I so feel like Wise Goose. I have a whole plethora of young people who look to me for advice (and just when did I get old? I still feel young and immature myself) and who consider me their "good angel". But quite often I want to cast off that white frock and ditch the wings and go dance in the fires waving my pitchfork!

Leah Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 9:26am

Gardener, Like Mary I would love to see these tales plus your memoirs published.

Leah Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 9:27am

Mary, angels, white frocks , wings and fires and picthforks , that is a real onc upon a time tale waiting to be told !!

Anonymous Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 8:40am

Hello Leah. You have encouraged us all to comment, today, in the future or write a blog. I like thinking of titles but I agree a title for your blog today might be difficult and I think you have chosen well. "Once Upon a Time"..whoever originally thought of that introduction to a children's story ..does anyone know? Anonymous above has expressed how I feel about my Once Upon a Time beginning to my life and how events have battered me in many ways and reduced my ability to be energetic and light hearted. But maybe that is normal, that IS life. Moodscope is such a great concept and I can look back and see my life "before Moodscope" and After Moodscope" and it is so much richer now with this source of knowledge and the compassion of others. Jul xx

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:29am

Jul, I was wondering you had replied twice then I realised my mistake!! It is fascinating how we see our life story and how differently others may see it. Apparently Once upon a time or variations on the theme is comon in many languages-according to wikipedia . Very interesting. Your commenst give me much to think about, Thanks Leah xx

Orangeblossom Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 9:21am

Hi Leah,
Thanks for the invitation to share my self on your blog! Once upon a time I wouldn't have responded believing that my contribution wasn't good enough. Or that no one was really interested in what I had to say.

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:31am

Orangeblossom. I am glad your story has chnaged and now you fell confident to comment and share your story on moodscope, I hope you are pleased how you have changed.

Rebecca Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:11am

I'm just starting to realise how lonely I am. My boyfriend is away this weekend and realising have no friends to spend time with. Have great parents and lots of people I horse ride with but few I can spend time with away from the yard. Feeling very negative and low at the moment.

Bearofliddlebrain Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:37am

Hi Rebecca...sending big Bear hugs and waving Bear paws at you. If you want to write to me via Caroline, I'm sure she will pass your email on to me and we can chat and I can keep you company for some of the time boyfriend is away. Bear x

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:47am

Rebecca, I am sorry you are not in a good place at the moment. The good thing is you realise the good things in your life,your great parents, the horse ypou love, the people you ride with. I appreciate that wrote a comment even thought your are feeling low.Take care Leah

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:49am

Bear, that is very kind of you, that is a lovely story in itself xx

Mary Wednesday Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 2:30pm

Big hugs, Rebecca.

JohnWalker Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 9:02pm

Feeling lonely is a strange thing. Tomorrow is probably a fine day here, Saturday I will be incredibly busy with a performance at my theater club and Sunday I will meet with a friend for breakfast and then drive down South to see my partner. But I still feel lonely and abandoned. Can anybody explain this to me? This is crazy.

JohnWalker Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 9:02pm

Feeling lonely is a strange thing. Tomorrow is probably a fine day here, Saturday I will be incredibly busy with a performance at my theater club and Sunday I will meet with a friend for breakfast and then drive down South to see my partner. But I still feel lonely and abandoned. Can anybody explain this to me? This is crazy.

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:11pm

Johnwalker, I think it is not crazy at all. To me there is a big difference between being alone and bening lonely- somethimes they go together but many times they don't. The loneliest times I have been in my life is when I have been surrounded by one person or many people but they either don't undertsand me,see the real me, or are emotionally abusive. I think many moodscopers here can relate to you.Even if you have understanding friends, family, and a partner you can still feel lonely because maybe some emotional needs are not being met. JoHNwalker, these are just my words and may not help you at all but I thought I would try. A,ll the best.

the room above the garage Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:35pm

Hello JohnWalker, I completely understand that feeling. As for explaining it...i agree with Leah, is there something happening that you wish wasn't or something not happening that needs to be. Ask yourself not 'what do I want?' but ''what do I need?'...they can be very different things. Love ratg x

JohnWalker Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 11:17am

Thanks ratg x. You are right, there is something, and I know what it is. I have two sisters I always felt very close to. (They are much younger). It is E's birthday today, and since an argument a year ago to the day she is shutting me out completely. I have tried putting things right, but to no avail. But my sisters are all the family I have. That's what it is. But I suppose there is nothing I can do but try.

Leah Sat, Jun 11th 2016 @ 4:23am

JohnWalker, Have you tried writing a letter? I know this doesn't always work but in these days of quick texts, emails, a nice handwritten card/letter saying how you feel maybe worth try.When I did this I had to concentrate on what I wanted to do and not bring up painful things from the past. Just an idea and you have already tried this. Just sad when siblings stop communicating especially if there are no parents. All the best.

Bearofliddlebrain Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:35am

Once upon a time, there was a wonderful writer who often challenged me to think of things I didn't want to. She spoke of the stuff of life that hurts, but she did it in such a way as to help me go through it and maybe - as she was such a wise Wol (that's an owl in Bear land) - it helped her too.
She must read so many books, I thought, as she is a wise one...and she probably does as she owns a book shop.Her name? Leah.
Thank you, Leah from a Bearofliddlebrain x x x

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:56am

Once upon a time the was a kind bear who never growled but dispensed hugs to those who need one. Bear was compassionate and always had nice things to say about everyone. When bear is quiet and does not write she is missed by all her friends in the village.
Thnaks Bear, your words really help me today. Leah xx

Bearofliddlebrain Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 3:29pm

Aw shucks Leah, blushing Bear! x x

Hitchhiker Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 1:12pm

Once upon a time there was a girl born in a big family who loved her but somehow left blank spots in her heart. The girl grew and lived, tried to loved, hid, read a lot, desperately trying to fill in the blanks. Always seeking to understand, wrestling to reign in the unruly, hurt parts who keep her from living a true life. She finds kindred spirits in odd places, even in cyberspace! inspired daily by moodscope blogs, she hikes on, thankful for the company and inspiration. Sorry to not contribute regularly to the community, but ever grateful.

Mary Wednesday Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 2:32pm

Hello Hitchhiker - I hope your travels take you far into the Galaxy of delightful and undiscovered things! (All for one Alterian dollar a day!). Sorry - I'm a nerd, but you knew that anyway!

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:13pm

Hitchhiker, I am so pleased yo chose to replt to my blog. Your comment is so so wonderful and evocative and I like the image of you hiking on through cyberspace.Take care

John Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 1:43pm

Once upon a time I thought there was a "normal" and I suffered because I knew I wasn't it. Still do, sometimes, but now I'm more aware.

Mary Wednesday Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 2:34pm

I think, if we ever did find someone who was normal, we would have to put them on exhibit! Normal is the rarity! But - as you say - most of us have become aware of that.

the room above the garage Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 2:34pm

Hello John, great comment, here's to being un-normal! Love ratg x.

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:44pm

John, there is a n old saying that the only normal is a setting on a dryer or washing machine!- but I think even there it has been chnaged from normal to regular. Thanks for your story as it conveyed so much in so few words. well done.

The Gardener Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 2:27pm

Leah, would I bend the morals of young readers? My geese got into scrapes, Gordon, the hero, wanted to try sport - they got into a rugby game - before invading the pitch they invaded the refreshment room - thinking beer an interesting drink. Naturally, the high jinks that followed were led by the more intelligent one. Of my five children, the one who has achieved the highest position was the most devious when it came to mischief in the home (and at school, though he denies it). It is his son who was calmed by the stories. Coincidence - I am currently reading the second of my historical novels to Mr G - he remembers the events and the places where they occurred. Simultaneously the lady who comes to 'entertain' him twice a week is reading my diaries/reports (in French) of our nine trips to India. she is fascinated - so, again, a blog 'Tell me a story' has opened flood gates.

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:47pm

Gardener, That is such a sweet image of you reading the second of your historical nopvels( am impressed there is a second!) to Mr G and the fact he remembers events and places. I hope that is a memory that will help you when things are grim. Your Geese antics made me smile!! Hugs xx

Mary Wednesday Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 2:29pm

Oh, I totally adore all these comments. Writing is like drawing. We can all make a mark on paper with a pencil; but the freedom and magic comes when we stop trying to make our pencil make the shape of a house (with four windows, a front door and a chimney with smoke coming out) or a lollipop shaped tree, but instead let it wander and make what patterns it will. Let the words come and let them tell the tale themselves. I will let you into a secret, all you lovely Moodscope readers.... very often - more often than not - when I start writing my posts I have absolutely no idea of what I am going to write - still less what the point is. Sometimes there isn't a point and that doesn't matter. If your heart speaks through your words then it will speak directly to other hearts. And this is what our community is about. Please write. I too am longing to hear your tales.

Hitchhiker Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 3:39pm

Your wide open heart will surely touch many today MW. Thanks for being here!

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:52pm

MaryWednesday, Thanks Mary for your words as your heart does come through you words. Yes I am overwhelmed by these comments. I am still in my pjs and think the shop will be opening a bit later than usual as I read and comment.I am the same, sometimes I startwith an idea but by the time I have finished I have scrapped that idea and gone in a different direction and often many directions at once!!

the room above the garage Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 2:32pm

Hello Leah, sublime! Love it!
Reading the responses has been uplifting :-)
Once upon a time I thought I might never be ok. And with the constant of the crowd, there daily, I realised I am ok. Even when I'm not, I am.
Thank you!
Love ratg x.

Mary Wednesday Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 2:35pm

Love you RATG. For so many reasons!

the room above the garage Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:36pm

:-) aw shucks I'm blushing x.

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:55pm

ratg, Thanks for your story- I love the sentence- Even when I'm not I am- will help me today. Like you this sentence is full of so much wisdom and common sense. Thanks again x

JohnWalker Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 2:52pm

Talk to me is the title I would have chosen. My sisters won't talk to me. Even with my partner I find it difficult to talk about serious stuff. But I have so much to talk about, my problems, my loneliness, my anger. But there is nobody who is listening. And honestly, who would want to hear all this. So I just wait until it goes away.

Hitchhiker Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 3:30pm

Dear JohnWalker my sisters are pains too! i find my thoughts don't go away until I accept them! Don't wait! Accept you will have crazy thoughts and feelings, some you can share, some you can't. Some that people will hear, some they won't. Accept and listen to your own self. It is hard, O! I have spent years waiting. But enough! Move in the direction you choose, your sisters and partner will come around. I love how Mary Wednesday put in to the galaxy of delightful and undiscovered things! You non-normal, yet wonderfully aware moodscopers have made my day delightful. Many thanks!

Bearofliddlebrain Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 3:32pm

You know you can talk to us here - there will always be ears listening - it's good to let it out and you might even get some helpful hints on dealing with others too! Give us moodscopers a the meantime here's a generous hug to cheer you :) Bear

Bearofliddlebrain Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 3:32pm

You know you can talk to us here - there will always be ears listening - it's good to let it out and you might even get some helpful hints on dealing with others too! Give us moodscopers a the meantime here's a generous hug to cheer you :) Bear

Bearofliddlebrain Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 3:32pm

You know you can talk to us here - there will always be ears listening - it's good to let it out and you might even get some helpful hints on dealing with others too! Give us moodscopers a the meantime here's a generous hug to cheer you :) Bear

Frankie Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 10:06pm

Evening Jonathan: I have a sister who won't talk to me ... but I DO want to hear what you have to say - I love the saying: "Your friends are God's apology for your family" (my sister hates it!!!) Hi Hitchhiker! Frankie

Leah Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:58pm

Johnwalker, I think this may explain your earlier post about being lonely. As others have said Moodscoper is full of great lisetners, we are ready to hear and listen. Do try us. I wnat to tahnk you for contributing interesting comments and making me think.

Anonymous Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 8:07pm

Once upon a time, there was a girl who felt crushed by the world. Overwhelmed, as though everything were yelling and towering over her at every second. On the outside, she was competent and confident and had everything going for her. On the inside even, there were happy times and sources of inspiration and satisfaction. But on many days, in spite of all the good, the overwhelm of the crushing and yelling and towering simply left her paralyzed. And she felt alone. There was nothing to see to explain why she was broken and crushed and unable to function. Everything looked peaceful and tranquil, which only made the pain and paralysis more difficult to admit and accept.
Thank you for encouraging us to write. I've been experiencing a dip lately, which I kept thinking was just a brief patch of burnout. But it keeps diving deeper, and it feels like invisible torture. I feel trapped by forces I can't see.

I've reached out for help, which is unfolding at a slow pace that feels hard but also makes the process feel a bit less scary. But this patch is feeling particularly unbearable at the moment. Friends and family are supportive to the degree they can, but none of them really understand what I'm going through. (And how can they, if even I don't understand?)

I've commented a few times in the past, short snippets, usually to express how someone's post has helped me, or how it echoed my experiences in some way. But I've never really thought it possible to post about where I am right now. That reaching out to describe where I am might help someone else, even if it's just to help them feel less alone in their own rough patch.

Frankie Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 10:03pm

Evening Anonymous 8.07pm; we are here and we hear what you say ... and yes, your story will be helping many silent Moodscopers ... never underestimate that ... Thank-you for posting today ... and please post again ... Frankie - feeling "crushed by the world, overwhelmed, as though everything were yelling and towering over her at every second. On the outside, she was competent and confident and had everything going for her." I SO relate to this tonight ... F

Frankie Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 10:03pm

Evening Anonymous 8.07pm; we are here and we hear what you say ... and yes, your story will be helping many silent Moodscopers ... never underestimate that ... Thank-you for posting today ... and please post again ... Frankie - feeling "crushed by the world, overwhelmed, as though everything were yelling and towering over her at every second. On the outside, she was competent and confident and had everything going for her." I SO relate to this tonight ... F

Leah Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 12:02am

Anon 8.07am Thank you so much for writing or touching story and am so glad you decided to post. AS Frankie said so many people can rleate to your words. I felt you conveyed so well what I have fekt in the past and so sometimes still feel. Once again thanks so much and I hope to read maybe a blog and more posts in the future. Leah

Leah Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 12:08am

Frankie, You ARE a very compassionate person who writes encouraging replies to moddscopers. That is such a great talent.

Frankie Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 10:12pm

Oh Leah - what a wonderful blog - thank-you! And see what you have enabled! I sit here crying tonight ... feelings of inadequacy and anxiety ... Once upon a time I was a competent teacher who delivered outstanding lessons ... today I feel inadequate and vulnerable ... Frankie P.S. I love ALL your titles!

the room above the garage Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:40pm

Frankie, you ARE a competent teacher who delivers outstanding lessons. That has not changed. I learn much from you. You may be feeling awful but you have not changed. Love to you, ratg xx.

Leah Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 12:07am

FRankie, I agree with ratg, you Are a competent teacher or delivers outstanding lessons. I used to be teacher but I really was not competent as the children would walk all over me- thats another story. I do know how a certain incident or comment or all the hard work often unappreciated can sap your confidencenot to mention all the redtape etc. I hope the tears are helpful. It is amazing as I sit reading comments I am becoming teary and emotional. What agreat community we have. Hugs xx

Frankie Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 12:24am

Thank-you both, dear RATG and Leah; yes, this is a great community Leah - and thank-you for your contribution to it; and thank-you too RATG; will step out again tomorrow, with you behind me! Frankie

Leah Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 9:23am

Frankie, I wish I could take this supportiove community out into my world. I suppose I do in away with the wisdom I gain from other moodscopers and also the knowledge that others have been through similar things, Leah xx

Rebecca Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 10:24pm

Look at all the comments, well done Leah.x

Eva Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:34pm

Hi Leah, another great blog, well done. I am a bit too bereft at the moment to tell my story, except to say there is a cat shaped hole in it.

Caroline, chunks for your comment the other day, much appreciated.

Good night all, Eva

Leah Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 12:10am

Eva, I am now puzzled and intrigued by the cat shaped hole!! Thanks for replying.

Eva Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 6:55am

Hi Leah, my wee cat got put to sleep on Wednesday, I miss herso much. She was very old and sick so it was the right thing to do but a very hard decision.

Bearofliddlebrain Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 7:23am

So sad for you, sad pusscat not with you anymore, but relief for puss being out of pain and tiredness. As much as we don't want them to continue in discomfort and.miserabie pain, pet lovers all dread the day we have to have our dear ones taken. Big Bearhugs to you Eva x x x

Leah Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 9:22am

Eva, Pet stories are so sad. They are so importnat in our lives and deeply missed. Sending kind thoughts and big Aussie hugs, Leah xx

Eva Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 9:58am

Thanks Leah and Bear. Funnily enough she was a real teddy bear of a cat. A perfect friend. There is that dread, but there was also fun and joy for 18 years, I feel very lucky to have had her.

Leah Sat, Jun 11th 2016 @ 4:14am

Eva A teddybear of a cat, what a lovely image and I can picture what she looked like.

Eva Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:35pm

Caroline, 'thanks' even, chunks indeed! stupid predictive text!

Leah Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 12:11am

Eva, I mdae several typos in my blog and can blame predictive text or the fact I piut them in on purpose to show I was queen of typos!!

the room above the garage Thu, Jun 9th 2016 @ 11:40pm


Leah Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 12:35am

I will keep repeating even through tears and gritted teeth on some days!! I realised I am ok-Even when I am not, I am. While saying this I will think of you ratg.x th good work was dome by the wonderful Moodscope and moodscopers.xx

Leah Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 12:32am

Moodscopers thank you so much for sharing your stories, for reading silently and nodding, for contributing replies and for just being you. I feel so humbled by your wisdom and experiences.
Please if you haven't written a story it is never too late, we all love to read your story, comments etc. I look a the blog for severl days incase people have added a comment and also to reread and learn from the great contributions.
Thanks to Moodscope for making all this happen.

Bearofliddlebrain Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 7:25am

Leah, Glad you still have a wee lookie-see over the next few days....just wanted to say: "Look what you achieved.....and I don't mean just the tpoys!!! Lol, Bear x

Leah Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 9:29am

Bear, Hope you ahve a great day and a great weekend. My Friday was ok full og the wonderful comments and thinking of caring community. PS do you collect teddy bears?? Just wondering, I do or did!! Leah xx

Bearofliddlebrain Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 3:02pm

I Lurve liddle Bears....still have two of mine from a child and love to see them. Also am hanging on to my daughter's Tededdy!! He hardly has a face left as she chewed him and hugged him to death!! Lol! Hoping yours is a happy, weekend too....our Friday afternoon almost half way through and I'm looking forward to other half coming home. Bear x x x

Leah Sat, Jun 11th 2016 @ 4:47am

Bear, I love well loved bears. I never had a teddy as a child that was for boys. So as an adult I used to buy neglected ones from charity shops. We have a long weekend here for the Queens birthday!

Skyblue Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 9:52am

Leah, I wasn't able to comment yesterday but was there in spirit, reading every word. Your blog brought the most amazing responses from people and I know they are just a fractional representation of the true Moodscope community. So inspirational to hear from new commenters like Jonathan and others. The collective spirit here is quite profound and your contribution is major in keeping it all percolating. Thanks so much. xx

Bearofliddlebrain Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 3:03pm

What a lovely response Skybkue....glad you're still peeking in :) Bear hugs x

Leah Sat, Jun 11th 2016 @ 4:12am

Skyblue, Thanks for such a thoughtful comment and oh so true. I know for everyone commenting many are reading and nodding, some are smiling, some are holding back tears and some cry. All the fractions are so vital to moodscope. Your words made me smile. Thank you for it is all the contributions written or silent that helps make up the Moodscope community.

Tutti Frutti Fri, Jun 10th 2016 @ 7:58pm

Hi Leah if you are still reading. I've had a pretty tough couple of days so only just managed to read all the comments (not depressed at the moment thankfully- just far too much going on, too much work to do and some of it pretty difficult, some friends having a crisis, another friend passing through who was staying over with us but arrived at gone midnight and internet problems.) I thought your blog and all of the comments were really touching and inspirational and would like to have commented earlier - not that I had really worked out what to say. Best wishes to you Leah. Be proud of what you started here and look after yourself. TF x

Leah Sat, Jun 11th 2016 @ 4:07am

TF thanks so much commenting , I really appreciate it since you have been so busy. Thanks for your kind words. It is a real achievement to realise while things maybe tough and you are not feeling the best, you realise you are not depressed.I hope you give yourself a big pat on the back and a gold star for that! I am just so lucky to be part of moodscope. Proud is a n emotion I have a few issues with but am looking into it.

Nicco Sat, Jun 11th 2016 @ 5:26am

Once upon a time I was a caged bird, feeling trapped but at the same time looking forlornly and fearfully out through the bars, wanting to be free. Now the door to the cage is open and I'm perched on the edge, looking out through the open door, no longer seeing bars in front of me, and finding it's not quite so scary after all. But I'm not yet ready to take a maiden flight out of the cage, for the cage has also been my refuge and I'm worried that, if I leave, I will fly for only a short time before I find myself in yet another cage, maybe one that looks beautiful from the outside but with thicker, more dense bars, ready to ensnare, entrap or even entice me. Life is complicated - with or without bars.

Leah Sat, Jun 11th 2016 @ 6:31am

Nicco, What an enchanting and moving story you which I can relate. Making that maiden flight is hard. I really appreciate the fact you took time to write such a lovely story and to share it with everyone. "Life is complicated- with or without bars" - that is so true. Thank you.

Welsh girl Sat, Jun 11th 2016 @ 6:06pm

Once upon a time there was a little girl, the oldest of a family of four children born within a five year period. She was expected to be responsible from a very young age and people often thought she was older than her years as she was tall for her age. She wanted so much to be allowed to be a child but was always told"You're the oldest, you should know better".
As she grew up, she bore the weighty responsibility of looking after a younger, naughty sibling whilst her mother scrimped and saved as there was little money in the house. She was too young to understand all this and resented not being able to be child-like. When she asked for piano lessons, she was told there was no money for this, and silently resented her sister's being given guitar lessons a few years later. When the little girl sang, as she loved to do, her mother told her it sounded like a cat being strangled.
What happened to the little girl? She grew up to be an adult who was often told how "sensible" she was when all she wanted to do was to let her hair down. Two good things did however happen- she managed to learn to play the piano, and sing melodically in a community choir, once she gave up full-time work.
If there is a moral of this story, it is that you should never let setbacks, or put-downs, stop you from achieving your dreams.

Leah Sun, Jun 12th 2016 @ 2:23am

Welshgirl, Thanks so much for sharing your uplifting story. I like the moral of never letting setbacks and putdowns from achieving one's dreams. I think I have let this happen so it is a good reminder. I liked the structure of the story with many anecdotes and ending on a positive note. Once again I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and I am sure Many other moodscopers too.

A View from the Far Side Mon, Jun 13th 2016 @ 10:51pm

Hi Leah, I've been struggling with some blogs, wondering if they are ready for the light, whether people are fed up of me writing about the same old thing from different angles. Your wonderful blog and the comments underneath made me realise actually, no, there's an audience for them here.

Leah Tue, Jun 14th 2016 @ 2:58am

Thank you for your encouraging words. I too have been struggling with ideas for a blog and nothing seems to work so your comments have really helped.
I have always found your blogs so thought provoking and inspiring so yes please keep on writing them.

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