Note to self

Saturday June 20, 2020

Diet, exercise and meditation. Get creative, to put your mind on track. Examine your thoughts, are they facts, or judgments. Ask yourself, what is up to me, and what is not up to me. Find the loveliness in the simple things around you. Don't be afraid to be an idiot, in the best sense of being an idiot. You can live a good life, never a perfect one. Bad things happen, they are sent to try you.

I watched a video talking about the long night of the soul. It got a bit heavy, but one phrase struck me - darkness is preparation for light. I have sometimes thought that I could continue to get better, so I would never suffer again. But I cannot see the future, and suffering is part of life. I might more hopefully try to eliminate some unnecessary suffering. 

I swing between some darkness and then into the light. When I'm in the light I can talk about the darkness. When I'm in the darkness, it would be better if I slept, as it had been a nightmare.

I do appreciate learning, I like science, which satisfies my curiosity. But even more I like the feelings brought on from creativity, love of nature, care and appreciation of others, laughing, and a wanting to find love, but okay if it is not to be. I could not have said that when in my lower mood. When the darkness closed in, I could not even see the faintest glimmer. But I was not to remember that light follows darkness, as day follows night.

I do find that, unlike the 24-hour cycle, the light of a sustained and reasonable content and steady mood does depend on what is thought about, and what is done in life. So I write to myself as above.

What is your advice to yourself?

A Moodscope member.

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