Not personal

30 Sep 2021

How many times have people said to you “It’s nothing personal," or “Don't take this personally"? 

Or “It is not personal" then they say very personal criticisms to you.

It feels like they’re just trying to make me believe I have no reason to be upset about the upsetting thing they are going to tell me.


Years ago, a woman who, back in contact with me after uni, had arranged a few get togethers with our young children. She rang me up one day to say she was far too busy to be friends with me and she couldn’t spend time meeting up with me when she was running a company.


Below are things people have said to me over the years. Have you heard them too?

"Please don't take this personally. I know the party only started 15 minutes ago, but I must leave.”

"Nothing personal, but I've never been so bored in my life."

"Don't take this personally, but that painting isn’t going to win any awards."

Saying it is not personal is so transparent. The speaker knows he or she is trying to insult someone.

The person it’s intended for know they are being insulted.

Or I guess the speaker might be trying to add insult to injury: both making a nasty remark and masking it.

How do you feel when someone says nothing personal, but you know they are being personal?

Does it change how you react if the person is a friend or family member and not a stranger?

If someone says they were being funny, does it feel less personal?


A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

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