Not disliking ourselves

22 Oct 2020

There is a lot written now in mental health articles about the importance of liking ourselves.

For some people like my former work colleague, she would answer the question , do you like yourself, with a, “Of course, why would I not like myself?”.

Despite struggling with depression and anxiety she has always liked her self. Even this year when her husband died and she found the grief overwhelming, she still liked herself.


Many of us are different and if we are depressed and struggling we do not like ourselves at all. We call ourselves names and get stuck in a box of negativity.

I have found liking myself to be hard at times, so recently I aim for not hating myself and not disliking myself. This doesn’t mean I like myself a lot, but I find that concept incredibly difficult, so I go for not disliking. This is not always easy. As a people pleaser I do not like myself when I am irritable or rude, when I cannot make decisions, when I do silly things.  I focus on bad choices I made many decades ago and end up really hating what I did.

When some people are very depressed, they only see the worst in themselves and loathe themselves even more. When asked to see something positive in themselves it makes them feel worse.

I acknowledge we all have times when we are extremely negative about ourselves and others but if we can change the strong self-hate for mild dislike, it may be s start.

I have no answers I am just starting a discussion to get Moodscoper’s to share their experiences. Maybe it does not matter to you if you like yourself or not. Are you like me that you focus on not disliking yourself rather than liking yourself.? Do you think there is too much attention on whether we like ourselves? Can you like yourself without being self-confident and vice versa?

I look forward to your contributions to this discussion.


A Moodscope member .

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

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