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April


No, you can't have a 3. Friday April 14, 2017

How do you go about scoring the different cards on the Moodscope test? I've been wondering about this a lot recently. Last year was a really difficult year. I loved my job, even when challenging. I loved the team I worked with even though they could be difficult too. But it all came to an end and we were made redundant. Inevitable, and we had plenty of notice, but it didn't fail to feel like the end of the world.

I was back on the job hunt after many years in the same job. I was well known in the area I worked and people came to me for advice. I'd built a network of support and spent time reaching out to new people coming in. I felt strong and in control. All that was taken away. I needed to prove that I could do my job.

Fast forward to now and I'm in a new job. It's easier in many respects, harder in others. I've found a team that are great and I feel like I fit right in. So, I ask myself, having managed to overcome another bout of darkness and actually managing to get myself through it, why do I not score a 3 on the red cards? In particular, I rarely give myself a 3 for Strong and especially not for Proud. I mean pride comes before a fall, right? Strong people are often stubborn? Oh, and I'm rarely Alert as I'm always tired (the joys of a co-sleeping toddler).

Then one day I noticed something. A tiny detail. It was quickly sorted whilst I was on my way to deal with something else. I realised at that moment that if I wasn't alert then I wouldn't have noticed this detail. So surely then I wouldn't have dealt with it? I started to question what each of these different words mean. How I am attributing characteristics to them based on my own personal experience. So, I looked differently.

Yes, I am proud. In the past 6 years, I've qualified in my field of work with a Masters. During that time, I had 2 children and 2 losses. I've changed jobs. I've run a small business on the side. We've kept a house going whilst working full time and with a young family. I've said it before, I feel this makes me privileged and sometimes when I'm sipping red wine whilst sitting in bed I still feel like a fraud for feeling depressed. But I also am starting to see how this makes me strong. And I'm proud to be who I am.

How can you look at things differently today?

MoonandJupiter
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Oli Fri, Apr 14th 2017 @ 8:00am

I score like this: I see that the scoring tool only gives the high end descriptions of feelings, so recording a 3 just means feeling at the top end of any of the feelings. Also, the test is for the moment — literally how you’re feeling right now — so recording a 3 for say “Proud” has no predictive value for future scores. So a 3 on Proud may “come before a fall” or it may not — recording the 3 doesn’t cause future scores to fall. So basically I just record how I feel at the moment I take the test.

Eva Fri, Apr 14th 2017 @ 8:13am

Hi, interesting blog, I've wondered on and off if I have been doing it right, but then what is right? I take the test at the end of the day to record how my day was, so my card scores reflect my day, did I manage to get some work done, did I also manage to be alert enough to know when to stop and relax, did my fatigue symptoms show me that today wasn't a strong day etc. I sometimes wonder if I score correctly, or if sometimes I pick a number from habit, but I guess as long as I am consistent it should be OK. I rarely score a 3. I did more before I got fatigue, but currently I think a 3 is generally unobtainable.

I left notes for Leah and ratg on yesterday's blog.

Leah Sat, Apr 15th 2017 @ 1:49am

Eva, Thanks and I replied to your reply.

Eva Sat, Apr 15th 2017 @ 7:31am

And I left you another note :)

Jul Fri, Apr 14th 2017 @ 8:13am

It's important to see things differently. I get stuck on the cards when I do them and always end up roughly at the same score. I will try to look at them differently. You have done well M&J. I think depression envelops us with a cloud of self doubt which stops us from seeing clearly what we have achieved.A very interesting blog. Can you maybe write another one expanding on this theme? Julxx

LP Fri, Apr 14th 2017 @ 8:36am

Hi MoonandJupiter,
Such a good point! The only card I consistently give myself a 3 for is determined and sometimes that's a good thing, at others it is stubborness! I do tend to eventually get around to blitzing things, often pushing myself too hard, but able to score a 3 for proud :)

The wording "extremely" for a 3 makes me hesitant. Also there have often been times when I have had the positive feelings on the red cards more than in the moment or around the time that I am scoring, so I feel that I should leave room for times when I might feel them much more, excited is a good example.

The other thing is that I tend to do them first thing in the morning, which means that I rarely feel extremely alert! It's not my best part of the day moodwise, but I figured that was ok as long as it's consistent. I also thought that if I get good scores then I must be doing pretty well!

Moving the goal posts a little would give me better scores and your title says it all! The inner crtic in me has resisted that!
I'm not sure that having been measuring my moods for so long in the way I do, I want to change it. Again, is that just about scoring or am I holding on to low mood in some way perhaps?

I'll certainly keep an open mind and consider other ways of thinking about the cards.
Thanks for a great blog MoonandJupiter, maybe I can take my self a bit less seriously and be less hard on myself! What the nell, tomorrow I might score the funny side of each card! :) Sending lightness and smiles to you and all:) LPxx

Jane SG Fri, Apr 14th 2017 @ 8:40am

Great blog MoonandJupiter and so very many reasons here for you to feel proud. One word for how you have coped with everything and what you have achieved - WOW! Xx

Tutti Frutti Fri, Apr 14th 2017 @ 10:58am

Hi M&J(hope you don't mind me shortening this)

In general I think it is good to interpret the cards consistently over time so that we all end up knowing where our own comfortable range lies. (Which past discussion suggests varies hugely for different people.)The great thing about what you did however is that you changed the way you looked at and felt about life which we'd all like to do rather than just saying I never feel better than this so I guess this must be a 3. So when you noticed that you had picked up a detail and dealt with it, you genuinely gave yourself credit for being alert and genuinely felt proud which is great. Good luck for the future and I hope we can all learn from you.

By the way, personally I am not really aiming at 3s on all the positive cards as i think it would probably be a sign that I had gone manic.
Love TF x

Sally Fri, Apr 14th 2017 @ 3:42pm

Mood will definitely affect how I grade. Confidence being tied in to these questions, I might score 3 on proud, or 0. That gets me thinking , because I have the same global things, family, friends and personal achievements to be proud of, yet my perception of whether these are worthy of pride will depend on how adjusted my thinking is. Scoring 0 on pride is a wake up call for me: something is not right, etc.
It allows take up time for me to focus on what - if identifiable - has sapped my pride. Or just to accept that I am having a rough patch.
Thank you, M&J, this raises some interesting points.

the room above the garage Fri, Apr 14th 2017 @ 8:40pm

Hello M&J, I find taking my score challenging as it's often a disappointment. But actually I've had to be clear with myself...I often score habitually rather than realistically. Thank you for highlighting it. Perhaps it's time I looked with fresh eyes on a daily basis or even put some thought into how I might create that circumstance. LP, you asked about my big project...it started today. I'm currently in the 'it has become worse before better' bit. But it will change and there's no going back! Hello everyone, especially those who can't yet speak. Love ratg x.

Molly Sat, Apr 15th 2017 @ 1:26am

I wrote a long reply and lost it ! My time ran out on this Moodscope site. Just wanted you to know that I experienced the same with the job front. I was made redundant as well and I was the one dishing out advice and feeling somewhat important, only for it all to be taken away and finding myself on the other end of the scale. It is hard. But sounds like you are doing well. Treasure your kids, they are a true gift in life. Love from Molly xx

Leah Sat, Apr 15th 2017 @ 1:51am

Monnanjupiter
Thanks for sharing your story and the lessons you have learnt.
In moodscope test, I do shy away from 3 in both positive and negative traits.
I enjoy your writing style.
Thank you

Nicco Sun, Apr 23rd 2017 @ 3:54pm

Thanks very much for this blog - I have only just read it (I'm often behind reading blogs!) but I feel it was the right time for me as my husband had to go through a lot of redundancies recently. It certainly helped me to understand him a bit better.

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