New Home

30 Jan 2021
Bookmark

I had to respond to all you lovely people who remarked on my very first blog ‘Moving On’ (19 December 2020). Thank you. 

I have arrived in the room beside the garage. No it is not awful, just not the same quaint cottage I have left. I walk about 6 paces to my new office from my sofa bed. How strange it is to wake to the sounds of others in the home. Eighteen years of living alone. I am adapting well I feel.

I have noticed my father has some memory loss I think - he wonders when I am going home. Oh dear!

How lovely it is to walk with mum in the afternoon when the sun is going down and listen to her ramblings and I smile and hold her arm a little tighter. Yes. I'm here for you mum I'm here for you both as we all slide down like the big old sun.

Our choices make a difference to so many sometimes. They can be hard to make. Some are easy.

If you are not sure, stay where you are, you will know when it's right.

Be safe. Try to have compassion. It's a wonderful thing. And you know the hardest thing I think is forgiveness, but it's worth trying.

From

The Attic

A Moodscope member.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

Email us at support@moodscope.com to submit your own blog post!

Comments

greenjean

Jan. 30, 2021, 8:28 a.m.

So good to have an update & hear it’s going well. Your parents are very blessed to have you on hand for them, and how lovely that you are enjoying their company so much. Well done for making such a selfless decision.

Reply

Orangeblossom

Jan. 30, 2021, 8:35 a.m.

Thanks for the blog The Attic. Before the pandemic we had planned to sell up & move to Shrewsbury once I had retired but this isn’t happening at the moment. We have put part of the plan into action. We have had a new kitchen/utility room. We need some more tasks doing before we put the house on the market. At the moment we are enjoying our new kitchen. A necessary improvement.

Reply

Caroline

Jan. 30, 2021, 8:42 a.m.

Thank you for posting this beautiful piece, TA. I particularly love your description of your afternoon walks with your Mum. These are very precious times for you and I do hope that these times will bring you real contentment. I felt real peace when I read this - thank you so very much for sharing.

Reply

Attic

Jan. 30, 2021, 8:01 p.m.

Thank you . I am happy you enjoyed my thoughts and update

Jul

Jan. 30, 2021, 9:09 a.m.

It's very kind of you Attic to look after your parents. I am so sorry to hear your father's memory is dwindling. I too like to think of your walks with your mother who must need some adult company to chat to and offload her worries safely. Thank you for letting us know how it's going.Jul xx

Reply

Daisy

Jan. 30, 2021, 9:32 a.m.

Dear Attic So lovely to hear your news and even better to hear you sound happy in your new home and life. Beautifully written - it made me feel I am there with you.

Reply

Sally

Jan. 30, 2021, 11:07 a.m.

A wave from me, TA! How good of you, and of course there are advantages too, since you obviously have a good relationship with your parents. And, if the going gets tough, do call in the services for back up. But for now, good luck, and thank you for reporting back.

Reply

The Gardener

Jan. 30, 2021, 11:24 a.m.

TA, can only echo Sally and others above. You have obviously gone into this situation with your eyes open, and have a lovely, and enviable, relationship with your parents. As a 'people watcher' and 'nosey parker' I would like to emphasise that you MUST keep your own interests, and time to yourself, however little. Inevitably, with age, personalities change, even if lucky enough to avoid dementia. Dependence becomes insidious - keeping time for yourself can be seen as 'selfish', but, believe me, it is vital. You have my admiration, my parents separated, me only child, could never have lived with either of them.

Reply

Valerie

Jan. 30, 2021, 2:45 p.m.

This is very true TG,as you know all too well.I totally get what you say about your particular parents,same here! ***

Salt Water Mum

Jan. 30, 2021, 1:39 p.m.

What a lovely warm picture you paint of you and your mum on your walks, chatting and listening. I wish you well and thank you for updating us. I would love to hear more from you as time goes on so please do keep writing blogs. Wishing all Moodscopers a peaceful Saturday, swm x

Reply

AndrewH

Jan. 30, 2021, 2:36 p.m.

Thank you for this blog Attic. It must have been a difficult adjustment to go back to living with your parents, but I'm pleased you find you are getting something positive out of it, as ell as giving them the support the need.

Reply

Quilec

Jan. 30, 2021, 2:38 p.m.

What a lovely writing style you have Attic, so simple and unaffected and so poignant.

Reply

Valerie

Jan. 30, 2021, 2:42 p.m.

This is lovely Attic.I envy you and your parents.I cry a lot lately,so this has me welling up.***

Reply

The Gardener

Jan. 30, 2021, 2:50 p.m.

Val, I can't cry any more - wish I could in a way, can be a release. I think our emotions are all ironed out as things get greyer and vaguer. I dream a lot - heard lots of people dream more - not enough communication person to person?xx

Bearofliddlebrain

Jan. 30, 2021, 3:19 p.m.

Hi The Attic next door to the garage ;) You have made the right choices for now and that’s what is important. Who knows where you will be in a few weeks, months or a year. That doesn’t matter. It is so good of you to give up the quaint country cottage just for now. One day, you will either go back there or find a new place to be, but that is when you can do no more for your parents...being with them now is the best you can do. You are such a comfort to both of them. Your father’s memory may worse, so try not to take things to heart or get cross when he repeats something for the umpteenth time and you have to answer the same questions over and over...you will need such patience ;) So pleased you can make the time for the walks with mum - she will love that. Thinking of the image of you huddled together, I could almost feel my mum’s hand in mine, when we used to walk together..I miss that. It’s seven years ago, but might have been yesterday. We all make choices and there may come times when you have to make the most difficult ones - just remember, you are doing your best. If you need to forgive a wrong choice made by your parents - or yourself, do it with grace and love. Thank you for a beautiful blog. I do hope you have brought lots of your own things from the cottage to have around you in your new room next door to the garage. Stay cosy and safe. Love and Bear hugs x x x

Reply

Attic

Jan. 30, 2021, 8:05 p.m.

Thank you. Life can be so very hard I have always thought the kinder I am the kinder the world will be. Not so. But just to have a smile and a hug from my mother is enough to get me through most things. Life is is only memories at the end. X

Patty

Jan. 30, 2021, 4:50 p.m.

Hi TA. So nice to hear you are going to be with your parents. That is so selfless of you. I'm sure you will make wonderful memories from being with them and that it means so much to them to have you there. Enjoy your parents. Mine are older too and I treasure every moment with them. I am lucky to have a great relationship with mine too and it is a gift to spend time with them. Enjoy and good luck.

Reply

Lexi

Jan. 30, 2021, 5:40 p.m.

Ah. I love this. So much. Having just spent two weeks with my mom after the sudden death of her husband I feel both the closeness and the impermanence of time with aging parents. Enjoy the time with them TA xoxo

Reply

Karen

Jan. 31, 2021, 5:05 a.m.

I wanted to say how lovely this was, which it is of course, but reading between the lines I feel there is a complete challenge going on for you. You knew it was the right thing to do and I love your words about knowing when to do the right thing. Instincts. Hope it goes well. If not, you will know you did the right thing at the right time which will reap many benefits. Good on you x

Reply

Orangeblossom

Jan. 31, 2021, 12:05 p.m.

Hi TA thinking of you as you have moved to give your parents more of yourself. Hope that you can carry on with your daily walks with your Mum. Hope that your week ahead is full of light, joy & peace.

Reply

Login or Sign Up to Comment