Moodscope's blog

31

May


Tuesday May 31, 2016

You are amazing.

Granted you might not feel it. Yet right now thousands of incredible internal processes are occurring so that you can be here. Such as those allowing you to read even this simple sentence. Wow. Remember not everyone has YOUR abilities.

I got up for work recently. Tired (from being up with my sons that night). Unenthusiastic. Full of a cold. My husband paid me a compliment: "You look good today". I replied that "I might look good, but I feel like sh@x!". A simple thanks or a smile would have sufficed! My words didn't help my mood. Or possibly his?

But, after dozing on the train, I had a good day. A phone call and a meeting I'd been dreading both went reasonably well. My boss, who commented I looked nice (I said thanks!) gave positive comments about my work. And although I'd accidentally pre-bought wrong train tickets, station staff gave me the benefit of the doubt. Twice! At home-time, when I told a colleague it was good to see them, I genuinely meant it.

It's 17 months now since my pregnancy-related psychosis. I'm often still consumed by feelings of self-doubt. But I know how lucky I am. Thankyou Moodscope for being part of my help as I continue this journey.

How do you receive compliments? What praise or thanks do you give to others or yourself? What good thing/s might just come from today if you kept open to the possibilities?

Jennifer
A Moodscope member

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


Permalink  |  Blog Home

Comments

Leah Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 6:33am

Jennifer,
What a thoughtful blog.
I once read if you want to give compliments- ask a question- instead of your hair cut looks great ask Where did you get your hair cut- it suits you. then a person needs to answer instead of saying something negative like, I think I look awful.

I myself do not receive compliments at all well especially if I feel they are gushing comments, when people say you are absolutely fantastic, you are the most wonderful person I have met and you look incredible today!! I knew a woman whose to say this and I soon realised the gushed like this over everyone!!

You have given us all so much food for thought.

I am sure I will be the first of many replies.

I think you have a come a long way and have insights into your progress. What do you feel has helped you the most?( just giving an example of what I suggested-a specific comment with a question).

Thanks again. Leah

Orangeblossom Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 7:37am

Thanks for you very honest & self-aware blog which I appreciated. Look forward to your next blog.
All the best.

Hopeful One Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 7:53am

Hi Jennifer- thanks for that. Puerperal psychosis is a terrifying condition so its heartening to read that you are on the way to a full recovery.Good luck and yes you ARE amazing!

The Squadron receives all compliments gratefully and graciously never looking the gift horse in the mouth.The other side of the compliment coin is something the Squadron was told: if one has nothing positive to say -say nothing.

Blondes are in the cross wires of the gun sights today.The Squadron fondly remembers its first girlfriend who, as it happened, had long flowing blonde hair. Nothing against them the Squadron hastens to add but they are a stereotype aren't they?Just Practising Leah's suggestion!

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773." A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

Mary Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 12:14pm

Giggle. A friend retweeted something yesterday to the effect that not all jokes about ethnic minorities were racist or offensive - that sometimes they are just funny. I tweeted back that *he* could say that: he is Asian. As a blue-eyed flaxen haired Anglo Saxon woman, I am confined to defending the blonde jokes. Good to have one I can laugh at this morning, Squadron Leader Jokester, sir!

Anonymous Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 7:55am

Hi Jennifer. Interesting subject! I don't believe it when my husband says I look good. My instant response is usually like yours was and my silent thoughts are why does he think I look especially good today and not yesterday. All negative. An American girlfriend of my son used to say in her South Carolina accent "Why thank you" if she was paid a compliment, with a slight emphasis on the "thank" No more was needed. She had accepted the compliment graciously and we all felt good. And I was watching something on telly recently, where someone was asked what she would like to drink ; she just said "A glass of water please" and no-one minded she didn't want alcohol. She made the glass of water sound as interesting as if she had asked for a Gin and Tonic. If I don't want alcohol, I say "I'm sorry but would you mind if I just had water", and make it all sound terribly depressing. So a great reminder Jennifer thank you to make my response to compliments etc upbeat. You have achieved so much Jennifer it seems. Well done. Jul xx

Lex Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 8:39am

Dear Jennifer, thank you for an uplifting blog - much appreciated. L'x

LillyPet Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 9:14am

Morning Jennifer,
Even though I'm aware of this, I still sometimes find myself doing it, maybe it's about honesty and modesty. Simply stating honestly what I think, but yes, there's no benefit to loading my negative feeling onto the well meaning and equally honest person paying the compliment! It's like being offered a bouquet of flowers and saying that you dont like flowers! It's not about whether I agree with the compliment, it's
It's grey, wet and blustery in London, my mood has been similar since yesterday. I think I'll give myself lots of compliments today! Thanks Jennifer. Warm wishes for rays of sunlight to all. LP xx

LillyPet Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 9:14am

Morning Jennifer,
Even though I'm aware of this, I still sometimes find myself doing it, maybe it's about honesty and modesty. Simply stating honestly what I think, but yes, there's no benefit to loading my negative feeling onto the well meaning and equally honest person paying the compliment! It's like being offered a bouquet of flowers and saying that you dont like flowers! It's not about whether I agree with the compliment, it's
It's grey, wet and blustery in London, my mood has been similar since yesterday. I think I'll give myself lots of compliments today! Thanks Jennifer. Warm wishes for rays of sunlight to all. LP xx

Ruth Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 9:45am

You are an inspiration!
Love your writing Hennifer,you inspire me to put pen to paper and compose my own blog.
Well done you !!!????????

Ruth Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 9:52am

Typo,the question marks needed to be an emicon

Still picking figs Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 9:55am

Morning Jennifer
What a good subject. Like you, some people aren't good at receiving (believing) compliments - I'm in this camp too. My mum, however, thrives on flattering comments about her haircuts, not looking her age, her beautiful blue eyes, etc. Her life is relatively lonely and to hear things like this, gives her a lift that lasts for days.
I make a point of telling strangers they look good, often older people. (Recently, the octogenarian who I saw wears a silk cravat everywhere he goes.) I always mean it. I feel people deserve to be told and in the back of mind, I'm usually thinking of my lovely mother and the glow she gets at being noticed.

Richard Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 11:14am

I like your blog, Jennifer. Thank you for introducing me to the new word of sh@x! Earlier, I felt a little like sh@x, but your uplifting words have inspired me. Maybe I should talk less sh@x too!
Have a fine day.
Peace & Love,
Richard.

The Gardener Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 11:48am

Another blog which is just what I needed. After a grim 5 days Mr G having psychiatric assessment - English people doing serious research on our house - and battled with the garden - a draw, but now a gale threatens to demolish dodgy rose arches. Luckily prospective buyers saw garden before rose arches fell on them. How do I receive compliments? With gratitude. Particular at the moment on the housing front - new challenge, shop into house, 81 in 3 weeks, sick husband - 7th house to do up - and getting compliments on my taste. Purring. The cliche 'this old thing' when complimented on dress is usually right for me. Being perennially short of money (and mean about clothes) I chose, I think, well. Most of my 'best' dresses are over 30 years old. Many favourites I had copied, cheaply, in silk by my d-in-laws dressmaker in Indonesia. The great pleasure of the compliment is that I can still wear them - and often asked, where did you get that super dress. Answer Debenhams 30 years ago (yes, they do make dresses to last). Current favourite, not old - a striking diagonally striped black/white skirt. I went into Marks for a sandwich and came out with the skirt - irresistible. Being taken out to lunch - what a treat, respite day, otherwise meals out are a no-no. Meals in ditto - Mr G at his very worst in the evenings. Realise I am like spf mum

Mary Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 12:22pm

I am now imagining viewing a French garden in the rain https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-1ERRRUM-c (Debussy - Jardins sous la pluie) and narrowly dodging falling rose arbors..... You, my darling Gardener, are always a treat for my senses: I can almost smell those drenched roses!

Leah Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 11:33pm

gardener, I like your descriptions of your dresses. My children are horrified I have clothes older than they are!! I am glad you use the word dodgy- a favourite in Australia especially when exposing dubious businesses. Enjoy lunch. Take care.

Mary Tue, May 31st 2016 @ 12:29pm

In my day job (oh, when will my health allow me to get back to it?) I have the task of teaching women how to accept compliments graciously. "A compliment is a gift," I say. "If someone were to give you a gift you would not throw it on the ground and stamp on it. This is what you do when you deny the compliment or throw it back in the face of the giver. Instead you say "Thank you" vey graciously. It needs nothing more than that. Then you move on." In Britain we women are notoriously bad at accepting compliments; the sin of vanity being seen as the first step to the inevitable end of walking the streets. In other countries it is not so and women are encouraged to be proud of their beauty. And, make no mistake, we are all beautiful - yes, even you! I promise you - you especially!

You must login to leave a comment.

What is Moodscope?

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.

Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. Join now.

Blog Archive

Disclaimer

Posts and comments on the Moodscope blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Moodscope makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this blog or found by following any of the links.

Moodscope will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.