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7

December


Build only with the smallest bricks. Sunday December 7, 2014

When you have no strength, seek out a story of someone else's strength.

When you have no energy, no enthusiasm, no motivation, borrow someone else's energy, enthusiasm and motivation.

When you have reached the end of your patience, challenge yourself to find one little scrap more. It's more than you thought you were able to find and yet you will find it.

When you believe you are never going to break out of whichever cycle you are in, remind yourself you have before and you will again, only this time more so, because you know more.

When you are having the day that we all know, the one you want to wipe away, take encouragement from anything...and build only with the smallest bricks.

Last Friday a huge, glossy, black crow flew in as I walked along the pavement. He stopped on top of a bin, beside and close to me, cawed loudly whilst eye-balling me, at the very same time as I was doubting myself. I took it as a telling off and was glad to find a new, very time-savvy friend :-)

Build only with the smallest bricks.
Love yourself a little more than you did yesterday.
I know that's hard but easy things don't bring the biggest rewards.
Build only with the smallest bricks.

Love from

The room above the garage.
A Moodscope member.


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Comments

Julia Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 9:16am

This is a lovely blog ratg. Bad spells do eventually pass but little by little as you say. It takes patience to ride the storm. I like the building with small bricks analogy.

Di Murphey Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 9:19am

Dearest RATG
This is stellar. It came at the perfect time. You are amazing.
Lovingly,
Di Murphey (Yes, I am up at 4am across the pond.)

Julia Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 10:05am

Hello Di. I always look at the time you are writing and worry sometimes that you are up so very early. And then I think to myself, maybe that's by choice? xx

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 11:00am

Very apt for me ratg (STILL loving the name!) on two counts - build only with the smallest bricks -
firstly because (you have just made me realise) I always go for the biggest bricks and then I feel a failure when I can't carry them;

secondly, as we sort through my beloved mother-in-law's effects after her funeral three days ago and laugh and cry together, this reminds me that I must give myself the time and the space to grieve properly and not expect to carry on as if nothing has happened ...

Thank-you - very timely ...
Frankie

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 11:46am

Good morning Julia, how are you? I'm trying to take my own advice, hilarious rebellion there :-)

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 11:51am

Good morning Di, 4am is that hour that is neither day or night isn't it?! I've read into sleep a reasonable amount and I was quite interested about our sleep cycles...we sleep in roughly 90minute slots. Sometimes you can be fresher if you rise at the end of a 90minute slot than if you tried to rise halfway through the next one. So maybe your body is going with that. Afternoon nap anyone? It's me, ratg.

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 12:00pm

Frankie, this is such a hard job! I completely understand as I spent last Christmas doing the very same. For me, the funeral was the 23rd and the days after doing a clearance. With hindsight, it is a good time to do it as everyone's emotions are up and down, and it gets you through somehow. My danger time was after, when the dust settled. Then I fell. Here whenever you need to say whatever, ratg.

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 12:48pm

Thanks for tale ... I had a similar experience but it was a Buzzard on Plymouth Hoe ... he swooped down and caught a field mouse and just sat there looking at me waiting for the mouse to die ..... reminded me that we are just one little bit of nature ... Geoff

Mary Blackhurst Hill Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 1:17pm

Hello Di, it's now quite a sensible time for you to be up, but may feel like afternoon to you now. Afternoon naps are the greatest as far as I'm concerned.

Mary Blackhurst Hill Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 1:19pm

Lovely post, RATG. Incredibly poetic.

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 3:42pm

Yes small small bricks...Yesterday, I drove four hours to see my new granddaughter, spent three hours with her and my daughter and her family and drove four hours home....a month ago I would never have even considered it...this morning I found myself singing my favorite song as it played on the radio...another small brick but a milestone on the road to recovery..at least I hope so anyways..the lil steeps and bricks can mean so much if we will try them God Bless All Dave

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 5:06pm

Thanks ratg - sounds horrendous ... I sit here surrounded by boxes of stuff ... I hardly recognise my own home!
Frankie

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 6:07pm

Thank you, What brilliant blog. love it. x

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 6:53pm

Good blog although this morning I couldn´t find the smallest bricks at home.I got out of bed somehow around 11,wondered where I was and if I still existed.Really weird
but I felt absolutely sober-no late night or bad dreams.In the bathroom and kitchen I didn´t find my bits and pieces and it took ages to get dressed.Looking outside the window there was fog as thick as bricks and wondered if there´s any good reason to get up on a day like this.I swear I never had it as bad.Maybe it´s just the wrong movie or one of these days.Since 4.30 p.m it´s pitch black.
Can someone tell me how to find the smallest bricks to escape from this place?
Mind-boggling and soon it´s X-mas.What a thought!

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 8:33pm

Dear Ratg,

I also loved your blog - especially your crow!! Yes I am sure he was telling you off and to great effect.
I had a lovely day - a day teaching at a riding school and everyone so welcoming - my first day back after 3 Sundays in a row not going for various reasons. Then came home and as I switched the light on, broke a precious little bowl, a present from my ex's Mum - really upset me - have managed to cellotape it back up at the bottom and so almost looks from the top which is where you view it as though not broken which made me feel slightly better.
I think we just have to be friends and laugh at ourselves and not think that everyone else is having a much better time ... (this to anon above). (I also am not looking forward to Christmas.)
Love to you all,
Melanie

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 9:40pm

It will be incredibly hard moving stuff on. I still have some really silly stuff that was just not for charity but impossible to bucket. In fact, one year on, I'm embarrassed to say I have a bag of frozen foods in my garage freezer that came from our loved ones freezer...I put it there in a crazy, grief stricken moment of 'what do I do with this?'. It's stuck in time and I can't eat it nor throw it away. It will go, I know its NUTS to have it!! :-)

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 9:43pm

That's brilliant Geoff! I have a notion that us mood-challenged folks need nature more than the average Joe...

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 9:44pm

Ooh thank you Mary, I have never been described that way. I thank you much!

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 9:47pm

Congratulations on your new granddaughter Dave! Brilliant! And I love hearing of your progress. Made me smile!

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 9:49pm

Thank YOU x.

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 10:02pm

For me a small brick can be finding a way to see something differently. I frequently berate myself (minute by minute) and I'm learning to recognise that. Haven't really begun changing it as such...just recognising one time that I have silently hit myself over the head and then made myself see it differently is a brick for me.
Finishing something, even if it's the dishes, that's a brick.
Not giving in is a brick.
Making myself eat a healthy lunch is a brick.
Not backing out is a brick.
Sleeping on time is a brick.
Acting out my own advice is a brick.
We all have a list of things we dislike about ourselves. Being kinder to yourself (really loving yourself as though you were a friend) in any way is a solid, brick. The dark is hurting me too...so try to go outside, even just one step, for 5 minutes when it is light, around 1pm? That is a brick.
Then...it will become a foundation. Your foundation. Love ratg x.

Anonymous Sun, Dec 7th 2014 @ 10:09pm

Oh Melanie that's sad. I'd get in close to it and photograph it now (from above). It could fill the viewfinder without too much border around it. If one day it goes, the picture will bring back not just the memory of breaking it but the more important part of today...your welcome back and being missed and getting such a boost from teaching! Love ratg x.

Anonymous Mon, Dec 8th 2014 @ 6:55am

How are you feeling, remember to be kind to yourself like ratg says and look after yourself once all the busy ness is out of the way. My father in law died this year in an accident and the grief has floored me at times over the last 7 months. But it is reducing and each time there is a longer gap between. The thing I found hard as an in-law following his death and for a few months after is that no one asks how you are, you are seemly not emotionally involved in your in-laws death, despite the fact that you loved him for 17 years. Its not a lack of care for you so much as a concern for your partner and not wanting to add to their grief which is totally understandable, but I found it quite tough constantly giving updates on my partner to all our friends and never being asked how I was. When you can cherish the memories.

Anonymous Mon, Dec 8th 2014 @ 9:42am

Thank-you so much - Anon Dec 07 and Anon Dec 08 - I am already finding it incredibly difficult to reject stuff as it feels like rejecting my mother-in-law; yet she would be the first to say "get rid of it"! (and I know she is - oops - was right) Yes, we are already beginning to relive and to cherish memories ... it is encouraging to hear that each time the gaps in between get longer ... thank-you.
Frankie

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