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My .............. used to say. Saturday June 25, 2016

Recently my partner suggested that I seem to be quoting things my mother used to say and I had not realized I was doing this. I think as we are growing up our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles say things that influence us in some way.

Sometimes a saying that we hear all the time as children we will later find ourselves repeating to our children. A saying might be something that really helps us in hard times or simply brings a smile to our faces.

These sayings don't have to be profound or witty or clever but the fact we remember them when we need them makes them special.

So please share any sayings that people from your past, or people in your life now say. I would love to read them. If there is a background to the sayings or you want to talk about how the saying has affected you that would be good too.

The saying may be very short or long. It may be in a foreign language. It may be something that was said often or just once but had a profound affect.

I will start.

My mother used to say, "Don't worry about what others are thinking about you as they are too busy worrying about what you are thinking about them". She used to say this if I was nervous before going to a party.

So please share your memory but completing the line

My ............. used to say...

A Moodscope member

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Hopeful One Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 5:14am

Hi Leah- what a wonderful idea for a post! What our nearest and dearest say to us is often the distilled wisdom of a whole community or of one individual or something past on from generation to generation in a family.

So in the spirit of your blog.....

My mother -in- law used to say at the dining table " all elbows on the table will be carved" so we all learnt to sit up straight when eating together.

She would also say ' no one in this life goes Scot free' this stopped us envying people who we thought were happier/better/ or whatever .

I say to my children" have a laugh - it's free"

Like this

A young doctor was just setting started in his profession with his first office when his secretary told him there was a man waiting to see him . The doctor wanted to make a good first impression by having the everone think he was successful and very busy. He picked up the telephone and pretended to be having a conversation with a patient in front of all his waiting clients as the guy stood in front of him.. The guy waited until the "conversation" was over. Then, the doctor put the telephone down and asked, "Can I help you?" To which the man replied, "No, I'm just here to connect your telephone."

Tutti Frutti Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 8:57am

Liked the joke.

Hopeful One Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 9:55am

Hi TF- thanks.Another saying from my mother-in-law " sit straight and look important".

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 9:56am

Hopeful One, Thanks for sharing sayings you remember. I like the one about the elbows and the joke made me smile. Mission accomplished.

Sarah yellow rose Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 7:42am

Hi Leah
Your post got me thinking. The most useful quote of many that my Mum said to me is, " Never lend what you're not prepared to give" this was the result of me lending a friend seven and six (shillings,old money) and not getting it back. She also said, "If you don't expect anything then you won't be disappointed " " You can never be too rich or too thin" an Isadora Duncan quote ( she said) which was odd to me a my Mother was neither. Many more are coming to mind, which make me smile and remember. So , thank you Leah! X

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 9:58am

Sarah yellow rose, It is funny how as soon as you think one saying others come to mind. I think Wallis Simpson used that quote about not being too thin as well.Thanks for the sayings I will add them to my list.

Jennifer Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 7:56am

My Dad often says..."when one door closes another one usually opens"...meaning that no matter what disappointment or difficulty you are now facing(finished relationship, a lost job etc)you never know what new thing could be just around the corner. Keep open to new possibilities! xxx

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:01am

Jennifer, My parents used to say that one too and as child I used to wonder what if I don't like what is behind the new door!! Thanks for reminding me of being able to move on face new challenges.

Jane Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 8:02am

My lovely wise Mum, who sadly now has dementia, always said 'walk tall.' She also always told me to have a sense of humour no matter what. I miss her so much though still enjoy precious moments with her. Thanks for the great post Leah.

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:04am

Jane, My mum also had dementia. Even though she has been dead 15 years now, I remember many of her sayings and started tFo write them down. If you can write down the precious moments you enjoy now and the moments you remember and her sayings it may help. Hugs Leah x

Jane Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 12:02pm

Thank you Leah - what a great idea. I've always written down funny sayings from my children over the years but hadn't thought to write down the wise ones from my Mum. Will start now! And thank you for the hugs xx

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:45pm

Jane, My regret is I didnt start to write them down while my mum was alive. I always thought I would remember things but alas I didn't. I hope writing down will help you now and your children in the future.

Jackie Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 8:36am

My mum used to say 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' or if we were getting vain ...Beauty is skin deep . she has dementia now too but still comes out with valuable things. Thanks for sharing .

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:05am

Jackie, They were two sayings my mum used to say as well. I am glad you can find valuable things now. Hugs Leah Thanks for your input.

Jane Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 12:03pm

Sending both Leah and Jackie a hug x

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:46pm

Jane, Thanks so much for the hug, xx

Tutti Frutti Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 8:55am

The only thing my Grandpa ever taught me to say in Italian was 'Dolce far niente" (NB I am guessing the spelling because he never taught me that!) It means "It is sweet to do nothing". At the time I thought it was the most singularly useless thing he could have taught me. When am I ever going to want to go up to an Italian and say that? If I look on it as a piece of wisdom that had been passed on to him (naturally in Italian) and which meant something to him it makes a lot more sense. My Grandpa worked as a journalist covering the London Blitz for an American newspaper and had some sort of breakdown, burnout/ depressive episode shortly after the war. Perhaps this phrase was just his way of telling us we should remember to rest sometimes - though it would have been useful if he had been a bit less elliptical about it and told us in English! I have landed myself in a bit of a rough patch at the moment through overworking for a couple of months. I need to remember Grandpa's advice a bit more often!
Love TFx

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:08am

TF, Thanks for contributing your reply even though you are in a rough patch. I think your grandfather was reminding you about slowing down , meditating, mindfulness. I think he was a wise man. Thanks for that Italian saying. Take care, leah

Sue Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 9:29am

My Mum used to say..'If you can't say something nice then don't say anything'... it has saved many arguments over the years. Thank you for getting us all thinking!

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:10am

Sue, My mum used to say that as well. I must admit I do have trouble at times especially if provoked, to follow that saying. Thanks for reminding me of that saying.

Tutti Frutti Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:45am

AVFTFS and Gardener. Have added a response to you on yesterday's blog now that I can get on it. Love TF x

Skyblue Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:46am

Oh dear! Surely there must have been wise sayings from my parents and grandparents as they were fairly wise people....but all I can remember is the negative one "Children should be seen and not heard" and I heeded it well. Does my remembering only that one saying say a lot about me, or about the culture of the times? Love your blogs, Leah! Thanks again. xx

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 11:39am

Skyblue, When I was trying to remember a saying for my blog I could have only recall one. My mother used to say that was how she was brought up- seen and not heard which is why she would listen to her children. Thanks for your reply.

g Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 11:32am

Thank you Leah for balancing the blogs intensity scales .

I cannot remember who said it first to me but I find myself often improvising on the saying " Life is too short..... " where the original ends with some elaborate cooking and I - because I never remember things precisely so cannot repeat the joke and call people wrong names - always finish it differently depending on the occasion or what it is that I do not want to do .

In the same vein " I may be dead tomorrow " is used a lot by me when impatient and asked to wait.

or " will this matter in a thousand years ? " when faced with a great difficulty or frustration

"we are all going to die soon anyway "

and in my culture :

" you will not take it with you to your grave " about any object

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 11:43am

thanks for all the sayings and what they mean to you. My uncle used to say there are no shops at the cemeteries, which is similar to the you will not take it to the grave.
Thanks again, Leah.

g Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 11:55am

I like this one Leah . And I love cemeteries .Maybe because there was an old beautiful one close to where my grandparents lived and my best childhood memories are of going with them to the cemetery to visit all the family graves , change water for the flowers or take fresh ones , light candles of all sorts , feed nuts to the squirrels , follow them to where they buried them ones I ran out of the supply and reoffer them to the squirrels again.Memories... On my travels I always look for cemeteries. There is such a variery of custams in different cultures and ways to remember the dead.

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:42pm

g, I too find cemeteries so fascinating and if I am in a small town in any country I will always try to find the cemetery as it is full of history and one can learn so much about the village.Thanks for sharing those memories that were sparked from one saying.

g Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 11:46am

Thank you Gardener for your comments yesterday and calming the seas for me.

I have never been stung by a sting ray .

I am really scared for some reason of having constant ringing in the ears - tinnitus ? maybe because I do not like noise of any sort.

In the past I had a terrible back pain for a week to the extend that I could not move . I thought that I was dying and was paralysed and when I called my GP and she would not even come out on a home visit but told me to take ibuprofen I was gutted.
I could not understand that lots of people experience this kind of pain on regular basis.
I know the cause - visit to a friend's house built on top of a river ( former mill ) where the damp seeped into my body through the stone floor . She never invited me again but I would not go anyway as I do want to avoid this sort of pain at any cost.

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:40pm

g, I like the way you are so honest in your writing and show so much self awareness.

Lexi Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 12:21pm

Hi Leah. I really enjoyed today's post and reading everyone's quotes. My mother used to say "c'est la guerre" whenever something inexplicable or bizarre happened or we didn't get our way. I say it all the time now, and even my 7 year old has started to say it. xo Lexi

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:47pm

Lexi, Isn't it interesting how these sayings are passed on through the generations. Thanks for your contribution.

Anonymous Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 1:11pm

My mother spoke Low German as a child and had quite a few interesting sayings. One was not very nice" Crowing hens and whistling women deserve to have their heads chopped off"!! That used to scare me - especially as I wanted to be able to whistle like my brother!
One that I recently got her to record for all the family was something that her grandmother used to say at the end of a visit: "Have we really talked about everything that needs discussing..." It sounds very cosy in Low German.

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:51pm

Anon 1.11pm I know a similar saying in English-"A whistling woman and a crowing hen are neither fit for G-d nor men", that my mum used to tell me, though whe liked to whistle!! Thanks for your reply.

Anonymous Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 1:11pm

My mother spoke Low German as a child and had quite a few interesting sayings. One was not very nice" Crowing hens and whistling women deserve to have their heads chopped off"!! That used to scare me - especially as I wanted to be able to whistle like my brother!
One that I recently got her to record for all the family was something that her grandmother used to say at the end of a visit: "Have we really talked about everything that needs discussing..." It sounds very cosy in Low German.

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:52pm

I like , " have we really talked about everything that needs discussing ..", which would be very helpful at times.

Jul Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 2:54pm

My father used to say. "No answer came the stern reply" and
"Let battle commence" (at the dining table before we were allowed to eat)
My mother used to say "Nothing is straightforward these days!" and
" Hell have no fury than a woman scorned" (she quoted Shakespeare a lot but when we were young she just used to come out with it probably after hearing some news item about adultery)

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:57pm

Thanks Jul, My mum used to say that one about Hell hath no fury... as a warning to my dad!! Isn't it interesting what sayings we remember and what we forget. Thanks for sharing them with us.

Jul Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 2:56pm

That's supposed to be "Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned"

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:58pm

Jul, I have read a few versions of that quote so I am not sure which is the right one or if there is a right one.

gloria Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 3:37pm

my mother use to say "WHEREVER YOU BE LET THE WIND GO FREE"

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 10:58pm

Gloria, Thanks, what lovely saying.

The Gardener Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 6:56pm

Leah, you've opened up memories I hoped were buried. My mother disapproved of everything, her whole life. Dad was bi-polar but he encouraged me to the hilt - even to getting unobtainable books at the end of the war. Mummy's response to ideas and achievements 'You're too big for your boots'. Staying with a daughter, Mummy there too - we were going out to dinner, I had a fabulous saffron coloured long dress, wow factor. Mummy, 'you're not going out like that?' Another elegant outfit 'What do you think you look like?'. You will have gathered through the posts that entertaining is a big thing with me - naturally, my mother was at all family gatherings. As I put the finishing touches, flowers, candles, place cards in she would always say 'What do you go to all that trouble for?' My father made money, got a car! And wanted to take his wife and daughter out. Mummy seldom went, might rain, too hot, too cold, too windy, did not like any of the other women there. Result? Marriage doomed anyway, but the catalyst was a German woman who gave him all Mummy did not. She also spent all his money and went off with somebody else. I found afterwards that my mother tried to get her sent back to Germany as an undesirable alien - but husband pinching was not a crime. I don't remember anything quotable from my maternal grandmother - just that she was lovely - had an awful life - and was so encouraging to me - she had nine daughters, 4 fat and happy, 4 thin and miserable, one fat and miserable, my Mum. Her best phrase was 'at least'. She lived in warden accommodation in Basingstoke, and I would often take her out for the day. She favoured villages which appeared on postcards. I took her through Jane Austen land, thatch cottages, roses round the doors, pub lunch, cream tea, then home. She spent the whole day vilifying the warden, then, at home, she said 'at least it did not rain'. Sorry for such an outpouring, but HOW I wish I had one happy memory of My mother. She did 'duty' kisses - no hugs, and crying ones heart out, even at a dead hamster, was definitely out.

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 11:05pm

Gardener, Wow- what an amazing reply- I have no idea where to start!! So many images, memories and dekightful anecdotes and sayings. I think maybe my favourite of the day is " but husband pinching was not a crime!!" I think the saddest line of your post is ".. but how I wish I had one happy memory of my mother..' and the even sadder part is that other people would relate to this. Gardener you know by now not to apologise for your outpourings as we love them all!!

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 11:14pm

Gardener, One more thing. Your comments really show us how words from our parents so powerful. The fact that many many decades later you can still feel the hurt from these words makes it such an important message. Happy belated birthday for a little while ago- hope this year brings you comfort and peace. Hugs leahxx

Another Sally Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 8:20pm

When my brother was going out looking scruffy my mother would tell him he looked like 'the wreck of the Hesperus'. She used to tell us, 'you only tease the ones you love' - I think I was teased a lot.
When we reached our destination after a long journey my father used to say 'we've arrived and to prove it we're here' (usually in French 'nous sommes arrivés, et pour justifier ça nous sommes ici'.)

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 11:07pm

Another sally, My mother used to say too us children all the time but mainly to me as I was and still am a scruffy dresser!! Don't you think all sayings sound better in French or any foreign language! Thanks another Sally, your comments have brought back many memories for me.

Dragonfly Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 8:26pm

My mum used to say: "When you don't know where to start, just start somewhere" and this has often helped me when I've felt overwhelmed with a task.

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 11:10pm

DRagonfly, I like your name! That saying is so helpful because how often do we worry and procrastinate about doing something but at least we can start. When I was studying and very depressed when face with an essay, instead of staring at the blank paper I would always type up the bibliography first. I knew I would at least get a few marks for doing that if I didnt hand in anyhting else. The mere fact I started typing something gave me the courage to write the actual essay. Thanks so much for sharing this very useful saying.

Dragonfly Sun, Jun 26th 2016 @ 2:12pm

Hello Leah, thank you, I think dragonflies are so beautiful and ethereal as they flit and shimmer. I like and completely understand your essay writing anecdote. You are right in that we don't necessarily need to take a linear approach to a task - just start from an angle that is helpful to us to give a sense of achievement. You reminded me of my time studying as a mature student, also struggling with depression and other issues, but I nevertheless graduated in 2003. A friend and I would phone each other: yes, we'd put some washing in, had a coffee, perhaps now we'd make a start on our essays! Also of a Snoopy cartoon which I cut out and stuck to my computer (and still have). It has 4 images: of Snoopy looking thoughtful sitting in front of a typewriter; of him starting to type; then the caption: 'Book One, Part One, Chapter One, Page 1.' And finally: 'What a good start!'

Leah Mon, Jun 27th 2016 @ 4:44am

Dragonfly, Thanks for reminding me of that cartoon. You have given me much to think about so thanks for your contribution.

Leah Sat, Jun 25th 2016 @ 11:20pm

Thanks Moodscopers once again for taking time to read my blog and for your fascinating sayings. It is interesting how a few words can bring back so many memories, many good, some sad. Feel free in the next few days to add them here as I am always interested in reading replies.
Also, if anyone did not read Friday's blog by a View form the Far side, please take time as it is very powerful, challenging and rewarding read.

S Sun, Jun 26th 2016 @ 7:59am

Hi Leah, thanks for getting us to think about all these sayings. My mum used to say that life is rich. A simple saying and for me it summed up complexities and beauty of life. Sx

Leah Sun, Jun 26th 2016 @ 10:52am

S, Simple sayings are good. Thanks for your contribution.

Peter Sun, Jun 26th 2016 @ 2:47pm

This is not so much what my mum said, but what she did until a year before she died (aged 89). She refused to have a newspaper delivered so that she would have to walk the half mile to the newsagents - not for the exercise (although I'm sure that helped) - but so that she could give a smile and a friendly word to everyone she met on the way there and back. She said she saw this as her job once my sister and I had left home - to spread some happiness and encourage people to smile. Not a bad philosophy :-)

Leah Mon, Jun 27th 2016 @ 4:36am

Peter, What a lovely attitude your mum had. Actions speak louder than words. Thanks so much for this story- it did make me smile.

Monica Sun, Jun 26th 2016 @ 4:12pm

Thank you for this lovely post Leah and to all who have shared such wonderful wise words here. I wanted to add some wisdom I've been given from a dear friend I call my 'Wise Woman' and what she has said to me numerous times is this:
"If there is something you want do or someplace you want to go in your life, do it. Don't wait for your 'golden years' to travel or do what you want. You don't know what your 'golden years' will look like, so it's better to front-load your life with experiences, travel and doing what you dream of doing." My dear friend and Wise Woman shared this with me due to the fact that she learned in her twenties she had MS, and her doctor told her to go out and LIVE her life as long as she could before the symptoms really set in and she has done, and continues to do, exactly that wine she is still able to function. She imparted this wisdom to me over 20 years ago and I share this with others who sometimes might be deferring their dreams for a 'better time' to do them and I think of another friend whose husband suffered a very severe stroke before the age of 55 and I watch how her life has unfolded since the stroke and realize that you truly don't know WHAT your 'golden years' will look like, so it really is important to go out and do, see and experience what you want while your body can function to full capacity...and I do believe that doing so might help keep the body strong and fit so wonderful experiences can continue to be had well into ones 'golden years' =)

Leah Mon, Jun 27th 2016 @ 4:39am

Monica, thanks for sharing that wisdom. I read that one day or some day are not days of the week.

sophie Sun, Jun 26th 2016 @ 4:29pm

i also have memories of some sayings, that are firmly rooted in my mind, which i have found quite useful..."once a cheater , always a cheater"-which i now know is good advice for that kind of situation. if your lover cheats on you once, they'd be able to and likely to cheat again ."manners cost nothing".(but can mean a lot) "its nice to be important but its more important to be nice"..etc

Leah Mon, Jun 27th 2016 @ 4:42am

Sophie, Thanks for sharing the sayings. My aunt used to say its nice to be important but it is more important to be nice.

A View from the Far Side Mon, Jun 27th 2016 @ 1:55pm

This is not my mother but a Jilly Cooper saying, which seems apropos Sophie, Time wounds all heels.

Leah Tue, Jun 28th 2016 @ 3:25am

View, that saying makes me smile and wince!!

A View from the Far Side Mon, Jun 27th 2016 @ 1:56pm

My mother used to say Where are the car keys? Often and accompanied by much drawer-pulling. Once she found them in the bread bin and we still don't know why she put them there.

Leah Tue, Jun 28th 2016 @ 3:27am

I am like your mother-Each day I may say where are my keys, where is my bag, where is my....(insert any possession of mine that is not nailed down!) I have put my keys in the garbage bin, in the fridge, in the garden, etc etc

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