Mood managing.

Saturday November 30, 2013

Battling, and benefitting, from bipolar all my life (undiagnosed until I was in my 40's, when I finally understood what was 'wrong'), the drugs, without doubt, literally saved my life – but cured the symptoms but not the cause.

Over 10 years or so, the chems saved the day, but I kept having to go back on them from time to time.

My enlightened GP suggested CBT, and I tried to engage with the philosophy. I understood the how, but I had no structure to benefit from the technique.

He became aware of Moodscope, and suggested this as a way forward.

3 years and 1000 scores later, what do I know?

Essential to do it every day.

Quite permissible to slightly change one's interpretation of the cards – not frequently though.

Dwell on each answer and analyse the cause – some easy, immediate, some tricky and convoluted.

Over time, it becomes much easier to take an emotion by the scruff of the neck and challenge yourself to do something about it, or if positive, do more of it.

In my case, through intensive analysis over those 1000 scores, I have identified dominant ladies and a hatred of raised voices and arguments, possibly caused in my formative years, as having a huge, lastingly destructive effect on me.

So, I gradually got braver, started to stand up for myself, and I am now far better able to marshall my thoughts and argue right back when the tirade starts.

Which in turn brings pride.

And practice makes permanent – the more I deal with issues as they arise, the less angst and grief I suffer.

So now I am free – my confidence has enabled me to give up both the 'props' of alcohol and SSRI's.

Thank you to the Moodscope team for enabling me to look forward to the rest of my life in a positive manner, re-enforced every morning.

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