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June


Mix and match. Sunday June 4, 2017

Can you relate to the following story?

I used to have a kitchen cupboard full of plastic containers which always had more tops than bottoms. Many of the tops didn't fit the bottoms, so it meant that in a whole cupboard full of over 50 items there would only be half a dozen that fit.

One day I saw a great new system advertised that had colour co-ordinated containers so I threw out all the old pieces. I was so proud of my new neat cupboard. I showed my partner, I showed my friends and family, I could be neat and organised. Ok it was one small cupboard but it was a start.

This new plan worked well for a month or two with all the containers matched with their colourful lids, then gradually there were less lids, until I has less complete containers than I had before I bought the new ones! Please explain this phenomena! How can the cupboard be full of matching containers and a month later have hardly any lids. Where do they go? Why wasn't the colour co-ordination working as the man in the advertisement promised?

I wondered how hard is it to match up lids to bottoms. Obviously very difficult for me.

In life do we try to match things exactly or do we mix and match?

Sometimes it is not possible to get an exact match with our treatment, our medication, our therapy, our counselling. I think we need to be flexible and try and work out what suits us best.

I know humans are not plastic containers but there is a pressure sometimes to make everything an exact fit.

Do you try for an exact fit in life or do you try mix and match?

Leah
A Moodscope member

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Molly Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 12:39am

Gosh Yes !! I have so many containers without lids, and lids without containers. How bloomin' annoying. How does that happen? It is an indication that nothing is perfect. I am a perfectionist and I want every lid to fit. This is not the real world. I don't think anything ever really 'fits' not in the long term....we are all misfits !! Thank you for the post Leah, one of those moments that make you realise that it is ok not to be ok, and if we don't fit, who cares.... xx

Leah Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 3:55am

Molly, thanks for your comment.I am the opposite of a perfectionist so I wear odd socks and have odd lids. When I was younger I tried so hard to fit in which resulted in social disaters! I 'm you're ok as that book from the 70s went.

Kelly Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 2:09am

I'm trying hard to learn that lesson....truth be told it might be awhile before I'm ok. I got that far from ok thanks to some great ideas to drop treatment that was helping and shut out supportive people. There was a time when I'd do anything to fit...including stopping taking the medication that kept me fairly stable for several years. This year I became very not ok....I'm still not ok. It's hard for me to relate to others right now still and I'm still fighting suicidal thoughts. I found a good therapist and psychiatrist though and got back on the medication plus a second antidepressant for the problems with sleep that I developed along with this episode. I also have changed my attitude...somewhat because I've been so severely depressed that I've been unable to hide that I'm unwell and somewhat because of the confidence that my meds help me to have. Today on Facebook I responded to a comment about depression...unabashedly. If people don't like me because I struggle with depression...do I really need them in my life?

Leah Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 3:22am

Kelly I am glad you found a good therapist and psychiatrist. I am glad you are working towards ok. Moodscope is a place where we don't judge and are pleased to hear from you.Thanks for this comment.

Molly Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 4:11am

Oh Kelly, you stopped me in my tracks there. I was about to do other things, then read your comment. I feel the same. I have stopped my medication (rightly or wrongly, who knows) also if people do not understand, then I would agree, who needs them. Unfortunately i feel that we may distant ourselves from people who do not understand. I totally get you xx

Leah Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 5:54am

Life is too short for people who don't understand and tell you what to do.

Kelly Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 12:22pm

Thank you both for your responses.

Leah Tue, Jun 6th 2017 @ 2:09am

Thank you for your honest and moving contributions.

Jane SG Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 12:50am

I think container lids go to live with all the odd socks....
What a good blog Leah. I've found that trying to 'fit' hadn't made me feel happier so now trying to me more true to my imperfect self xxx

Jane SG Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 12:51am

'Be' more true!

Molly Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 1:11am

:-) Lol Jane, where do those socks go !!

Leah Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 4:00am

Jane Thanks Jane. I had a theory that at my place, the scissors, the odd socks, the lids, balls of string, the paper clips, the rubber bands have a secret society in another time frame, at my house because I never find those objects when I near them!! I gave up trying to fit in ages ago. As I have never tried for perfection I don't see myself as imperfect , just us me!! I suppose I don't think perfection is possible in humans or anything really.

Leah Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 4:02am

Molly I have a few theories about odd socks. I think they are singles who don't want to be part of a pair no matter how hard we try to force them. Maybe we need to wear odd socks like me, and accept that socks want to lead a single life!!

Molly Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 4:08pm

:-) perhaps they are objecting for having to spend so much time on people's feet :-)

Jane SG Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 5:35pm

:)

Leah Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 10:24pm

Molly, You may be right and they don't like smelly foot. One of the pair remains and the other goes on adventures never to be even again!!

Leah Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 10:26pm

Jane Smiley's dont appear on my iPad just a colon and a bracket.

Eva Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 11:13pm

That is an old school smiley, they are the best! :)

Molly Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 4:13am

lol

Leah Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 5:55am

are stamps with smiley faces really old school.The type the teacher would put on your work or hand if you were good.

Linda Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 6:26am

Leah,
You are a natural writer, I look forward to your blogs!
The same happens in my house no matter how hard I try!
I also gave up trying to be someone who I wasn't during my first marriage of 20 years.
I am now just out of the woods & finally have my diagnosis of anxiety disorder!
On the right meds & feeling pretty euphoric ; life is good.
Best Wishes
Linda

Leah Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 7:00am

Linda Thanks for your kind words and your comment. I am pleased you have a diagnosis and are feeling well. Take care Leah

Jul Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 8:45am

Hi Leah. I guess I like order because it's the only way I feel in control. If my house was a chaotic mess and I was out of control over some aspects such as tidiness and routine to a large extent, I think I would rapidly go downhill. I need to have some control over some areas of my life. I can't control my moods, when I'm going to have a good nights sleep and wake up feeling refreshed, that is my mental state, so I prefer to be in control of the things I can. I don't think I'm a control freak though! I don't like plastic boxes and can never find the right sized ones; even if I have the lids, they never stick on tightly enough. They also never dry properly in the dishwasher. I think I'm going to put them in my OH's workshop for his screws etc.later today. I am not sure your blog today is about control so sorry if I've gone off on a tangent. Julxx

Leah Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 9:00am

Jul, Thanks for your comment. The blog is about anything you can see it. I can see control as an issue. I suppose I am naturally messy and disorganised but I do get annoyed wiht a cupboard full of boxes that don't match. What will you use instead of plastic boxes, tins? I think control is a very valid point and maybe I am messy because I can control that .

Jul Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 9:05am

Ha that made me laugh...perhaps you are messy so you can control it. I never thought of that!! Dare I try it Lol!? xx

Jul Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 9:07am

I'll probably use tinfoil! xx

Leah Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 10:27pm

Foil forl lids?

Leah Tue, Jun 6th 2017 @ 1:43pm

Tinfoil or plastic what is worse?

Orangeblossom Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 10:00am

Hi Leah thanks for the great blog which caused me to think. I go for the mix and match approach especially for socks. I have to change socks regularly in order to replace lost items. So long as no one can see my mixed socks. I am not too fussed about matching plastic containers. Socks are my problem. I don't know whether or not I am alone?

Leah Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 10:51am

Thanks Orangeblossom, Be brave wear odd socks and show them off!! When I was a teacher children would guess what colours socks I had on!

Leah Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 10:52am

Think tomorrow should be world wear odd socks day. Go on I dare you? Will you be in it? Then tell me what happened. How did it make you feel?
Odd socks rule!!!

Jane SG Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 1:32pm

Sounds like a plan. I will wear odd socks tomorrow....x

Molly Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 4:12pm

It is not sock weather in the UK Leah. It's bare feet time. The socks are having a rest.

Jane SG Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 5:36pm

Sadly it's going to rain tomorrow where I'm going :(

Leah Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 10:29pm

MollyI have been in Uk in summer and I was rugged up as the weather was cold and stormy!! I think you jest!!

Leah Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 10:30pm

Jane Thanks for confirming my suspicions!!

Kelly Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 2:30am

I wear socks year round....hot or cold. I don't like sandals.

Leah Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 3:23am

Me too Kelly and I wear odd socks to bed!

Molly Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 4:15am

Socks brigade - out in force tonight !!

Leah Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 5:56am

Monday is odd socks today. I will report back how many I see.

Molly Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 9:56pm

I hate socks,

Leah Tue, Jun 6th 2017 @ 1:42pm

Have you had bad times with socks- odd or in pairs? If you dont wear socks, they make great puppets.

Molly Wed, Jun 7th 2017 @ 1:19am

Lol. Tried that tonight, hello I said to my husband, hello he said back, what shall we do now ? Let's have a sock fight. Not sure if we are puppets or muppets but it was great fun. Thank you.

Leah Wed, Jun 7th 2017 @ 5:45am

Molly, you make me laugh. A sock fight between consenting adults sounds like fun!! Thanks xx

The Gardener Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 11:15am

Leah - I'm with you and everybody on socks - more difficult problem that splitting the atom. Read your blog this a.m, all going well, doing chores just thought of matching people! then awful news of another massacre in UK - brilliant coup for terrorists - no security organisation can cope with savages who drive cars into pedestrians. Computer dating, marriage agencies - how CAN you match people. The most unlikely couples seem to survive - then the most peaceful relationship explodes. Physically, who more unlike than Sophia Loren and her husband? We know several couples where one is a seeming tyrant and the other subservient - yet they continue together - particular examples is where one longs to do something, the other won't - our elderly neighbour loves sociability, husband a curmudgeon. We offer to take her with us, but no, like so many couples, they go together or not at all. Leah, can one add inside-out sweaters and shirts buttoned up wrong? Labels outside? And, a goody if a bit delicate, flowing skirts which get caught in your knickers when you've been to the loo? Time I stopped, just been to church too.

Leah Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 11:55am

Thanks Gardener, I can picture you now Gardener with your odd socks, flowing skirt stuck in your knickers and your sweater inside out. Yes opposites can attract or they can make each other lives a misery. I suppose I feel so helpless about what is happening in UK so I think of odd socks.

LP Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 11:38pm

Hi Leah,
I want to have order tidiness and space, but have somehow managed to attract the opposite.
So I'm a stickler for things matching and spend ages trying... Yes they all have a hideout the socks, lids and pens!
I guess that things have to make sense to me. I want things to be fair, but life's not like that and that's ok.
I'm in on odd sock day tomorrow, thanks for the permission guys! :)

A beautiful concert in Manchester tonight. One Love. LP xx

Leah Sun, Jun 4th 2017 @ 11:50pm

LP Thanks for your blog. Enjoy odd socks day. Will watch concert later tonight on replay. What times we are living through?

Kelly Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 2:29am

I definitely go with mix and match. Therapy and medication (which is essential to keeping me from being so severely depressed that nothing else helps and I'm usually suicidal to boot) are the backbone to my being able to function. I follow that up with the writing and exercise I can't do when I'm at my most unwell. I don't knock anything until I've tried it (although some of the things I've tried...including medication...have been something I got pushed into...that happened when I was hospitalized). The part of me that wants to be well is willing to try things. I go to therapy, take my meds, write, walk, watch inspirational YouTube videos, read moodscope blogs, talk with friends and family, pet my cats....and try to never rule out things that can help. I fight a foul beast here.

Leah Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 3:25am

Kelly thanks for your thoughtful reply. I like your attitude, I never knock anything until I have tried it. That is a great attitude. It is a foul beast but hopefully you will have it tamed soon.

Kelly Mon, Jun 5th 2017 @ 12:25pm

I certainly hope so Leah. It's been awhile since it's been quite this foul or large of a beast and it's almost bested me a few times here.

Leah Tue, Jun 6th 2017 @ 2:11am

I hope so too Kelly, keep us informed.

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