30

April

Microwave moment

Friday April 30, 2021


Microwave moment is how I describe when I am ok one minute and the next feeling so low. In the moment feel I cannot go lower, cannot stop crying, feel worthless and of no value.

It is an awful feeling; it is not depression because it is usually gone in 10 to 30 mins at most. While it lasts it is so painful and scary, there is no reason and 100 reasons.

It is dark and cold and alone. I sometimes try to explain this feeling, and people say are you depressed, and I say no as I have hope and knowledge from the past it will improve, so it is nothing like depression. I can have one as frequently as a few a month to maybe one or two every six months.

I am  wondering if I am the only one or if anyone can relate in anyway.

I am not worried, simply curious and have had them for years. It is much more than just being upset. The amount of emotion I pour out is totally out of kilter with the comment or behaviour that made me cry. I have tried trying to see a pattern, am I tired hungry etc. when it happens. I have tried seeing if I have been triggered but I have not. I can go from things are ok to wanting to lie on the floor and scream or sit quietly alone hidden from others.
 
I am not sure if anyone has these moments so I am hoping you can share some moment, some behaviour which may or may not seem part of your mental health.
 
Leah
A Moodscope member.

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