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Merry Moodmas. Thursday December 22, 2016

Never underestimate the power of a cupboard. They are magical places. Mess vanishes within their clutches, truths can be disappeared into them, stress-whispers, unfit for ears of the Christmas dinner guests, can be said unto them. How I adore a cupboard!

When my little brother first lived on the other side of the world to me, I had 3 very young children. I missed the simpler days of my little brother, the ones when he was far too young to mind having make-up practiced on his face. And so when our time difference allowed, and he would call, nothing would get in the way of having some quiet time to speak. It was normal for me to find a cupboard and squash inside, all tangled up in hoover pieces, with phone, just to have uninterrupted time with him.

I seek out 'the cupboard' in many other ways. Tonight I will go to the Cathedral and hear 6 choirs from our school join together for the Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols. This year all of my children are old enough to be singing in the official choirs and not just in the congregation.

The year I left my granny's bedside to go to the Cathedral, I found out she had passed away just before I walked inside. I was jangled with grief and yet that moment when those voices first rang out, filling every space with sound, I felt as though the angels themselves had arrived to lift her onwards. It was the happiest kind of sad I have ever known. That night, and tonight, the Cathedral will be my cupboard.

We all know that we, who struggle with our mood, can find this time of year desperately hard to steer through. I encourage you to find a cupboard. Today. Tomorrow. On Christmas day. All of the days!

Step inside and listen for your own heartbeat. Listen for your breath. Remember from the left of the world to the right, we can each take a little time in a cupboard to be thinking of each other and saying "I am not alone". Mary and Joseph fretted not over the lack of carpet in their stable, nor whether the mince pies should be homemade or bought. They stood together saying "I am not alone".

I will curl into a cupboard this Christmas time, many times! Even if only for a few minutes. And I will think of you and I will send you my wish... I wish you perspective and a merry Moodmas. You are terribly wonderful, immensely important, and it will be positively powerful to be united in cupboard love.

Much love from

The cupboard near the room above the garage.
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Mary Wednesday Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 12:11am

A privilege to write your first comment. Fabulous blog. I envy you your cathedral and choirs. And your cupboard. Cupboards are indeed magical; with or without occupying wizards. Brothers can be a source of solace and strength (mine is too). Love your point that Mary and Joseph did not worry about whether their mince pies were shop bought or homemade. Every good wish for Christmas and beyond. Xxx

the room above the garage Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 1:26am

Your cupboard will be the house by the sea! Shut the shutters and bolt the doors and I wish you all a peaceful time, love ratg x.

Kristen Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 5:55am

This is such beautiful writing and so meaningful to me. I have no family within 3,000 miles and every Christmas, my daughter's father swoops her up to celebrate the holidays with his family an hour away. It is lonely for sure and the grief becomes intense. The image of a cupboard to find warm comfort and a sense of knowing I'm in such good company lifts such a heavy burden from my heart. I am truly grateful. I will read your blog many times these coming days and think of you fondly. May you find peace and joy. Thank you so much.

Leah Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 6:52am

Kristen sorry to hear you will so sad at Christmas. I hope ypu find ypur special space that will give you comfort. Thinking of you Leahxx Ratg, Great blog. I am guessing Cupboards in Uk are bigger than the obe sin my house. Mine barely hold cups and saucers. I dont have wardrobes either. The room above the shop has no storage!! This may sound weird but my alone space is the bathroom. I can relax, freshen up and get my strength there!! All the best to you and your family at this time.xxxx

LP Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 7:25am

Hi Kristen, I feel for you too. That's a good idea. You might flip it on it's head and make the most of some "me time" by creating a cosy space with your favourite things and all you need. Hibernation! Lovely :) LP xx

Tychi's Mum Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 8:47am

Hi Kristen, I know this might not help but I bet there are lots of people who would love to spend some quality time alone over the Christmas period....many of my friend are having to entertain large groups and are feeling very anxious about the potential pitfalls and family quarrels! I think LP's idea of using the opportunity to create "me time" is a good one but I can completely understand your sense of grief. I hope that you manage to find some enjoyment but rest assured you are not alone. RATG thank you for a wonderful blog. I am spending Christmas with my in-laws which sometimes requires a certain amount of patience. I will need to find a cupboard to disappear into at times!!! Wishing you all a serene and peaceful Christmas and I hope that we can all find our "cupboard" in times of need!

the room above the garage Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 1:49am

Hello Kristen, I will be thinking of you in particular when I take to the cupboard. I'm sad that her dad can't take you too or have alternate Christmas visits. I hope it's just for the day? Do you happen to have a local hostel or soup kitchen? I wondered if volunteering to serve Christmas dinner might help find some sense of 'family' amongst others who are without. A distraction from the day. I'll send out a little thought to you on Christmas Day. You will not be alone, love ratg x.

Eva Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 6:52am

A cupboard is such a good safe space, I don't have any big enough to crawl into, but I have a plastic tub in which I stored cloves for a while and every time I open it I am surrounded by that lovely aroma which makes me feel good. If I had a cupboard I'd store spices somewhere within so I could crawl into their embrace.

I am sorry to hear about your granny's passing rate, sending you love and hugs.

In my experience unicorns are pearly and leave behind chocolate drops ;)

Eva Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 6:53am

Ratg not rate!

the room above the garage Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 1:51am

Chocolate raisins would be even better!! :-). An embrace from a spice cupboard, I'm loving this a lot! I smell gingerbread...

LP Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 7:12am

Hi ratg,
You've taken me back to happy memories of building tents using sheets both as a child and with my children. Or spending hours in the little shed as a child "cooking" in almost empty tins of paint with a few berries and leaves and a sturdy stick! :) Yes, there's something magical about small enclosed womb-like spaces. Perfect for the silly season! Thank you for a wonderful blog. Hugs to you and all :) LPxx

the room above the garage Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 1:52am

Oh yes, a den with a sheet! It still happens in this house :-D

Sophie Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 9:50am

A beautifully written blog, thank you for offering a new way to cope and find peace and calm this festive period. I will be thinking of all my fellow moodscopers over the coming days and sending positive, serene vibes to each and every one of you :) x

the room above the garage Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 1:53am

And I you, what a great exchange of gifts!

Wyvern Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 10:04am

Just want to say Thank you to all Moodscopers for keeping me going during 2016; I'm going offline now until after the New Year.
Have the best Christmas possible; and all good wishes to you all for 2017 :-)

the room above the garage Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 1:54am

Good to see you and I hope you enjoy the break, see you next year.

Melanie Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 10:56am

Dear RATG, thank you so much for this new way of looking at cupboards - your blog brought tears to my eyes - so rich in content and beautifully written. Have a very happy cupboard time! I wish this for all of us - to me it represents being with whatever we are feeling and letting our larger self contain it - like a cupboard does. We can all be the metaphorical cupboard with the help of a "real" cupboard. Love, Melanie

the room above the garage Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 1:56am

'being with whatever we are feeling and letting our larger self contain it' that.

The Gardener Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 11:29am

No acronym for latest signature to Post. I want a warm cupboard with a duvet and never come out. Any Mitford fans remember the Hons' cupboard? Still gleaning comfort from Just William - a den maker of the first order.Struggling to keep head above water. Mr G awful this morning - said I was 'paid' to look after him, and that I did not do my duty. He went off to respite in the taxi, announcing that he was going tell the world what a terrible wife he has. I've been trying desperately to contact someone to try and talk to him - all gone incommunicado, phones not answered, e'mails 'down'. Our marvellous doctor on holiday. I think your Granny dying as you listened to cathedral bells was magic - reminds me of people dying of AIDS in India - everybody sat round in a circle, holding hands, and 'sang' the dying man out of this world. How I wish I could attend a midnight service - tied to day-time ones accessible by wheel-chair. I HAVE to be strong, and withstand Mr G wanting all the lights off in these dark days. Only solution live in another room and let him yell - it's going to take some doing. The kindness and support of Moodscopers is a fantastic help.

Night Owl Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 11:54pm

Keep going, TG. I dip in and out, but often feel your pain, as I read your comments. You do a very difficult job marvellously. Hugs and best wishes. NOx

the room above the garage Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 2:00am

Hello TG, once again, I wish I could pop in. Your kitchen would become my cupboard and, in turn, I'd bring food for us to share. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Vivien Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 11:59am

My cupboard is here in the lounge! I'm going to be on my own for Christmas, as my Mum (aged 91) is going to be in Hospital. I'm not worried at all - these things happen and you learn to cope, some better than others. My cupboard is going to have my teddy bears and soft toys (yep even at my age) sitting on the settee and if I want, I can pick one or maybe 2 to sit and cuddle whilst I think or watch television. I have had one offer of Christmas Dinner but am going to refuse. Not to be nasty but I really don't want to sit down and make small talk with people I rarely see. Well two of them I do, but the others I don't. I'm not worried - I know there are places/people I could go to/get in touch with but my Family who are abroad will doubtless contact me. Life could be worse I know, but thank-goodness for Moodscopers. You keep me going and don't judge.
I hope you all have a positive Christmas and New Year. We are here for each other - cuddles one and all. Viv xxxxx

the room above the garage Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 2:01am

I'm glad you're doing it your way!

Anonymous Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 12:02pm

Hi tRATGmitCB. So very very many thanks to you for this.One of my family was admitted to hospital today with specific mental health issues and try as I might to be dispassionate in the interests of the rest of the family, it is tricky.You are always so wise and helpful.Merry Moodmas to you too.Go well.

the room above the garage Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 2:05am

Sorry to hear it. Will be thinking of you and sending good wishes out. Keep putting you first x.

Lexi Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 1:09pm

Merry moodiness RATG! I loved this post. I have my cupboard all ready to go.

the room above the garage Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 2:05am

Great! United we hide!

Another Sally Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 6:40pm

Merry moodmas to one and all. Thanks ratg for a wonderful blog. I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, but glad that you felt uplifted by the cathedral and choir. I hope I will not need a cupboard this Christmas but will be thinking of all Moodscopers who find this a difficult time of year. Sending warm thoughts to all your cupboards.

the room above the garage Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 2:07am

Hello AS, it's good to read that you won't need that cupboard x.

Sarah yellow rose Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 10:30pm

Ratg, thank you so much for this and all your blogs, I agree Moodscope is wonderful. If I happen to be at someone's house on New Yesrs Eve. I often hide in a cupboard to avoid the midnight kissing ritual, not because I don't like kisses but because it seems contrived. One year there were 6 of us hiding which was hilarious ( my friend has a walk in cupboard). Thanks to all Moodscopers for posts , comments and a safe place to reply.

the room above the garage Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 2:08am

This is so funny! :-D

Salt Water Mum Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 10:51pm

Well, Sarah Yellow Rose, I just laughed out loud at the image of six grown ups in a cupboard all escaping the obligatory midnight new year's eve kiss...!! That's so funny. Sounds to me the party in the cupboard was the one to be at !!!

Super Blog RATG, thank you.

Kristen and Vivien I am sending you my very best wishes - I hope you can enjoy the day as best as you can in the circumstances. Thankfully, it is only one day.

Mine will have its tricky moments but I will be with my kids so I know that I am very lucky.

Thank you Moodscopers - I am so glad I joined this lovely, supportive online community when I did.


the room above the garage Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 2:08am

Great to see you x

Eva Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 11:35pm

Just a query for Caroline, is there a way to export the notes that we make against our scores, I would find it helpful along with my counselling to access them say in an excel format...? Very handy to be able to dip into in a more indepth way offline...

Caroline Ashcroft Moodscope Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 12:28am

Hi Eva, you can download your data. If you go to the 'Manage Account' area you will find a link: Export my account data (scores and annotations) in CSV format which you can open in Excel. Hope this helps. Kind regards. Caroline

Night Owl Thu, Dec 22nd 2016 @ 11:47pm

Crying with relief of recognition. And still breathing. And with 'cupboards' still needed (I.e. the dreaded tidying is not yet finished, in fact barely started!)
Thankyou RATG, thankyou so much.

the room above the garage Fri, Dec 23rd 2016 @ 2:11am

Tidying undone here too. I've stopped for today so tomorrow is tomorrow. Glad it helped x

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