Melancholy Lane - No Through Road

5 Nov 2018
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I kid you not - this is a real road in a village called Stoborough, near Wareham in Dorset, UK. It must have a history to have such a dramatic name, though I've not found the reason yet...

I've seen it so many times and have thought to myself, "I really must stop and take a picture." Eventually, I did! The road was covered in fresh cow dung, which somehow seemed wholly appropriate!

Melancholy means a feeling of thoughtful sadness - often without any obvious cause. Many of us, I believe, have walked down Melancholy Lane. However, there may be a message in the text that followed: "No Through Road."

If my Melancholy Lane is the road to nowhere, what is the alternative?

My first thought is to try another way - another route - another road - even a completely new direction. This means that, if we have already begun walking down Melancholy Lane, we will need to do a 'U' Turn and walk up it again to where we started.

Too deep? I hope not. The message I took from the sign was simple - my current plodding down life's Melancholy Lane was not serving any useful purpose. Today, I turned. Some of the reasons were outside my control, and others were my own choices. Changes were made, losses were taken on the chin, and I feel... much better.

There's no going back now. Deeds have been done! What isn't so obvious is which new direction to choose. Do I really want to walk the ways which in the past have been successful? Or do I want to pursue complete change? What about a mix? Is my comfort zone a friend or foe?

So, I throw this over to you to comment. Many of us have made life-changing decisions where new directions have been followed. I'd like to hear a message of hope that your bold choices have paid off in the longer-term. I'd appreciate honesty about the pain too because I know significant change can feel painful at first.

Who will be first to share?

Lex

A Moodscope member.

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Comments

David Gosling

Nov. 5, 2018, 4:48 a.m.

**** Lex, I have a picture of a long winding road going into the distance narrowing as it gets to infinity in the distance. I like you, have travelled that road, twisting and turning and never reached my destination on life's path. I know Wareham but not seen your painful signed road but have been there done that. Now on a section of a bumpy ride with potholes but found a new way in life. I hope you do too. Good Luck. David Gosling

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Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 8:19 a.m.

Thank you for such a sensory-rich and emotionally literate share, David. (The road is nearly opposite the green in Stoborough - left hand side as you drive towards Swanage.) I would love to know more about your new way in life. Good luck to you, David.

Isabella

Nov. 5, 2018, 6:15 a.m.

I’m on Hopeful Road - I’ve planned a few adventures, but taking each day gently, building strength for each event. I like to think I’m not going down Melancholy Lane again. Thank you Lex, go peacefully down your road.

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Hopeful One

Nov. 5, 2018, 7:18 a.m.

Hi Isabella - was my non de plume mentioned albeit not in its entirety? You are on the right road an£ as long as you stay on it you will not go back to Melancholy Lane. And if you can include a laugh along the way it will help you even more. A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home." The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man. The drunk's wife greets them at the door: "Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where's his wheel chair?"

David Gosling

Nov. 5, 2018, 7:37 a.m.

Very amusing, made me laugh, a good start to my day, thank you.

Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 8:27 a.m.

Thank you Isabella and Hopeful One (very witty punchline too). I like the going gently and peacefully down the road, and the agreement that we all, as far as we can, avoid going down Melancholy Lane again. Here's to peace and a few good laughs...

Rosemary

Nov. 5, 2018, 8:28 p.m.

Hopeful One, had to come back on to tell you hubby and I have been giggling at your joke off and on all day..... thanks x

Orangeblossom

Nov. 5, 2018, 6:56 a.m.

Hi Lex thanks for the blog which I found thought-provoking. The change came when, after a visit to my Mum four years ago, I decided to register with www.headspace.com. My progress along the headspace journey learning about mindful meditation, has been somewhat erratic. However, I have had a running streak of 185 days the sequence of which has only recently been broken. One or two people have noticed a gradual change in me. I am determined to carry on with it until I review the situation next year.

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Hopeful One

Nov. 5, 2018, 7:12 a.m.

Hi Orangeblossom- Keep going. Mindfulness is subtle ,intangible but profound. It will change your life for good and for the better.

Oli

Nov. 5, 2018, 7:26 a.m.

@Orangeblossom -- if it's any help, I like to remember the idea that we can be mindful throughout the day, many times. And of course making the time daily for a dedicated session of practise is what helps create and maintain that skill.

Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 8:44 a.m.

Hi Orangeblossom, Hopeful One, and Oli... Mindfulness always comes highly recommended here on Moodscope. My thought is that it takes many years to perfect not thinking resourcefully, so, turning the corner is going to take some time too! I think it is clear that the Headspace journey is one worth maintaining, and a great direction to add to our list. Moodscope, Headspace, and where else shall we head?

Michele

Nov. 5, 2018, 9 a.m.

Lex, I have been thinking about and talking about restarting meditation and you've just given me the motivation to DO IT. I also looked at Headspace years ago and will have another look. Thank you. M xx

Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 10:06 a.m.

Hi Michelle - anything that can help us send our thoughts in directions we'd prefer has to be our new best friend!!! Happy meditating! xx

Leon

Nov. 5, 2018, 7:18 a.m.

Hi Lex - I have enjoyed your thought provoking blog for many years and feel in your writing - not a high - but maybe a low - so - I’ll try and get myself into a positive ‘Lex frame of mind to respond. Life is a Journey between two voids - as you know - death awaits - so - both the bad bit - the good bit - they are all and the same - it is - however we view - judge - or feel about it - a journey - and the only thing which we are truly in control of is our mind - nothing else is ever truly under our control - so - I’m sure your positive self would reach forward - or back - and give your ‘melancholic self - a much needed hug - some love - and say to your hurting self - don’t worry mate - it will be ok - I’ve got you !! Much love mate - Leon x

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Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 8:46 a.m.

What wonderfully kind and affirming words, Leon. Thank you! I'll take that hug from my other self and have hope that it will be OK. x

Rosemary

Nov. 5, 2018, 10:09 a.m.

A beautiful reply Leon. Have you ever listened / read to the words of Eckhart Tolle? I've found him very helpful in my progress of becoming more mindful. Take care x

Leon

Nov. 5, 2018, 7:18 a.m.

Hi Lex - I have enjoyed your thought provoking blog for many years and feel in your writing - not a high - but maybe a low - so - I’ll try and get myself into a positive ‘Lex frame of mind to respond. Life is a Journey between two voids - as you know - death awaits - so - both the bad bit - the good bit - they are all and the same - it is - however we view - judge - or feel about it - a journey - and the only thing which we are truly in control of is our mind - nothing else is ever truly under our control - so - I’m sure your positive self would reach forward - or back - and give your ‘melancholic self - a much needed hug - some love - and say to your hurting self - don’t worry mate - it will be ok - I’ve got you !! Much love mate - Leon x

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Oli

Nov. 5, 2018, 7:20 a.m.

One of the things I'm aware of is our tendency to follow verbal rules -- I have actually followed a glitch in my sat nav around a tube station car park despite knowing it was utterly pointless. Another time I bought 2 kg of chillies because that's what I'd copied from the recipe (should have been 2 ounces!). We (usually) don't even see the rules we follow (because the point of rules is to follow them; not to think about them). Which is fine when the sat nav works properly and when the recipe is accurate, and when one's "rules for life" work. For what it's worth I suspect the human condition has a default which is the opposite of happiness. Is the sign accurate? Could be. Rules are often quick and useful guides. It's strange what actually turns out to be a really life-changing decision. We usually only get to see them in the rear view mirror. A chance remark from a friend led me into a career I love, and lightning struck twice 20 years later with a tiny remark on the radio one morning. I mentioned this to a friend the other day who told me her daughter is pregnant because, unusually, that's a life-changing fork in the road you actually get to see in advance. There will be tears, and the sun will shine again. Thank you for the blog Lex -- good luck! :-)

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Dragonfly

Nov. 5, 2018, 7:52 a.m.

Morning Oli, I know this sounds extremely negative, but my chance remarks/meetings seem to plunge me further down the road of despair, rather than towards the sunshine as I let myself believe. It's heartening to know that the opposite, happy outcome is an option! x

Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 8:49 a.m.

Hi Oli... that's a blog, Oli, that's a brilliant blog! I can imagine the tube station car park element as a sketch in a sitcom... I'm so with you on that one! I am, at the moment, in agreement that the default human condition is not naturally the happy one! At least, as Leon asserts, we can work on the control of the mind part - where Moodscope and Headspace are good parts of that journey...

Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 8:53 a.m.

Hi Dragonfly, what you said wasn't perceived by me as extremely negative - it was actually what I hoped we'd all share today. I'm in my current situations at least in part because of my decisions, chance remarks, and meetings. Not every meeting or chance remark leads to good, and the wisdom we need to develop is to recognise the good from the not so good (even if all of it is well-intentioned.) I believe today's exchanges should be a mix of hope and caution. Change is perilous as well as potentially beneficial. It needs to work often enough for us to continue to embrace it, but let's be honest - it's not always the case that long-term success is guaranteed. If this is the case, how we continue the journey (and in which direction) becomes the essential focus... x

Rosemary

Nov. 5, 2018, 10:36 a.m.

Funny, I always feared change and avoided it vehemently as to me it has always spelled death (long story, not for here..) BUT having lost both Mum and Dad in just 7 months it almost seemed to reboot my thoughts on change. It was as if the total despair I felt was so all consuming my thought process shifted. Now I'm coping better with change; it still makes me uneasy but I can at least cope and sometimes even dance with it. I'm really hoping that if I can go with the smaller changes I'll be better prepared if a bigger one comes my way...... x

LP

Nov. 5, 2018, 11:08 a.m.

Hi Oli, I’m interested to know what the new career that you love is ( only if you don’t mind saying of course) LP xx

Nicco

Nov. 5, 2018, 1:26 p.m.

Dragonfly - I can certainly relate to what you've written as I often feel the same. I am at a crossroads of transition at the moment where I'm finding it hard to see the positive side of change - & change it most certainly will, whether with me or without me - so I'm hanging in there as I hope you are. I really like the saying at the bottom of today's blog too. Sending an encouraging hug to you. x

Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 2:42 p.m.

Hi Rosemary, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Mum and Dad. My hope for you is that you have a hundred positive little changes so that you can increase your confidence in being better prepared if a bigger one does indeed come your way x

Oli

Nov. 5, 2018, 7:08 p.m.

@LP -- #1 a casual comment my mate Stuart said, "Well, you could always go to university?" led me into academia. I'd never have considered it. And that led to a degree which led to doing another degree in physiotherapy -- and I really enjoy working with patients. But I realised that some people had problems with pain outside the usual models. And #2 comment on R4 one morning from a professor led me to train in medical hypnosis. And that has led to working in the area of persistent pain and using medical hypnosis, and going back to uni to do post-grad work in experimental psychology, hypnosis and pain. All from a simple remark. I remember going into work that and telling a nurse, "I'm gonna be a hypnotist! Wanna be one with me?" lol, no she didn't! Glad I did though. :-)

Rosemary

Nov. 5, 2018, 8:36 p.m.

Thank you Lex, here's to all the little positives eh? ;)

Lex

Nov. 6, 2018, 8:01 a.m.

Yes, Rosemary! And 'Wow!' - just look at the positives in Oli's comments above!

PeaceLoveRICHARD

Nov. 5, 2018, 8:45 a.m.

Lex, you ugly ******! Love, Rich x

Reply

Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 8:54 a.m.

Man love, Rich, Man love... I laughed and your magic worked! x

Rosemary

Nov. 5, 2018, 10:26 a.m.

HAHA you two boys, what are you like? :-D

Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 2:43 p.m.

Boys, Rosemary, boys... we have weird humour!

Oli

Nov. 5, 2018, 7:06 p.m.

@LP -- #1 a casual comment my mate Stuart said, "Well, you could always go to university?" led me into academia. I'd never have considered it. And that led to a degree which led to doing another degree in physiotherapy -- and I really enjoy working with patients. But I realised that some people had problems with pain outside the usual models. And #2 comment on R4 one morning from a professor led me to train in medical hypnosis. And that has led to working in the area of persistent pain and using medical hypnosis, and going back to uni to do post-grad work in experimental psychology, hypnosis and pain. All from a simple remark. I remember going into work that and telling a nurse, "I'm gonna be a hypnotist! Wanna be one with me?" lol, no she didn't! Glad I did though. :-)

Oli

Nov. 5, 2018, 7:07 p.m.

Ooops! Sorry Richard, I got the wrong reply box!

LP

Nov. 6, 2018, 12:35 a.m.

That’s fascinating Oli. Thanks. It must have all cost a fortune! If I could have hypnosis to help with persistent emotional pain I recon I’d be one happy bunny :) All the best on your learning journey. LP :)

PeaceLoveRICHARD

Nov. 10, 2018, 8:15 a.m.

All you need is love.

PeaceLoveRICHARD

Nov. 11, 2018, 11:38 a.m.

Give Peace A Chance.

Michele

Nov. 5, 2018, 9:11 a.m.

Just like to say I think there is a "Through Rd" down melancholy lane. I have been down it many times and I've always come out the other end. Sometimes, halfway down, it seems that there is no way out and that Lane is going to go on forever and then suddenly, almost as suddenly as I entered that lane, I see a ***** of light at the end, notice a bud or flower at the side and hear a bird chirping and I know I'm getting there. Even though this has happened many times I can feel the resistance to going down and being in that Lane, to no avail. I have made many changes big and small. ctd ...(taking a leaf out of The Gardener''s book here)

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Michele

Nov. 5, 2018, 9:20 a.m.

I gave up a well paid full time job over ten years ago, went into therapy (am still there) and worked part-time, did temp jobs and varied my workload, at one time working almost full time with three part-time jobs - called it my portfolio career and was enjoying it. I have learned to listen to myself and to take notice of my feelings. Last year I gave up a job I had done for about 10 years and now only work on Saturday mornings. I thought I would really miss it but haven't and will never work in one full time job again. I have had the freedom to meet up with friends or coffee, support my daughter and now be with her, support my sister during the last 12months of her treatment for cancer, and the space to think. I still go down melancholy Lane but the trips are shorter. My latest life-changing decision is to move out of London to escape the pollution and to have more time, space etc - something I thought I would never do but am looking forward to. If you're in or heading for Melancholy Lane, hang in there and use anything at all that helps you get to the other side. Am with you in spirit and may well catch up with you soon. M ***

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Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 9:34 a.m.

Ah Michelle... it's a 'No Through Road' to traffic, isn't it? If we change our vehicle - perhaps go on foot - there can be many more options. Thank you for the wisdom of your words! ***

Rosemary

Nov. 5, 2018, 10:17 a.m.

Michelle and Lex that's EXACTLY what I was going to post (no need now haha) that just because a sign says no through road, it rarely has /no/ way out at all - we just have to learn to get out of the car and find a different form of transport to continue our journey.... I have 'made it on foot' out of a seemingly dead end path before and hope to always find that little, sometimes unseen way out :) My Melancholy Lane has been well trodden over the years but I am definitely looking for 'Better Way' more often than not now. x

Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 10:29 a.m.

Hi Rosemary... brilliant! Stay playful x

Nicco

Nov. 5, 2018, 1:20 p.m.

Michelle, I take heart from your wonderful spirit of positivity - thank you!

Valerie

Nov. 5, 2018, 10:03 a.m.

Morning Lex, Pity the poor estate agent trying to sell a house on this road. My own sense of direction is terrible,can't tell left from right.In the same way,I have taken so many wrong turnings in my life.Sometimes there has been no through road,and I have had to scramble through ditches and brambles to arrive,scratched and muddied,back onto a path again. Somehow though,these awful detours have ended up being blessings in disguise,though it can take a long time to see this. I am totally risk averse,believe in hedging my bets.In your position I would mix the tried and trusted with some new venture.I do believe in karma,that we all have a purpose to fulfil.It can take a lifetime (or many ) to find that..Sorry,is that bringing up religion? There is a very good vibe coming from your blog,accepting some defeat,but not being defeated, if that makes any sense? Wishing you every success with the next chapter x P.S.Ignore Rich,I think you look cute!

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Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 10:09 a.m.

Hi Valerie... thanks for your affirming words of comfort. I took Rich's comment in the good spirit it was meant - made me laugh - and I will take your compliment too, thank you! Yes, there's defeat but also driving towards something new. I loved what you've shared about your own journey. Thank you so much x

Rosemary

Nov. 5, 2018, 10:25 a.m.

Thank you for your blog Lex ...loved it (and the pic) :) I have no need to add a reply as you and Michelle "took the words right outta my mouth......" (go on, how many are singing the MeatLoaf classic now? hehe) and gave my reply in a reply above (haha does that make sense? I'm in a playful mood today) Hey just thought, I'm skipping down Playful Grove today :) Take care x

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Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 10:30 a.m.

Keep singing those classics, Rosemary, and stay playful today (and tomorrow!) Thanks for your uplifting comments x

The Gardener

Nov. 5, 2018, 11:21 a.m.

Hi Lex, my kids used to collect rude place names (Dorset has some goodies, I believe), My road sign would say 'Rocks Ahead', with a sub-sign from Corporal Jones in Dad's Army 'don't panic, don't panic'. If I actually look at the rocks, the tribunal result, hopeful house sale and Mr G's death all came together - all needing urgent attention. Plus two gardens - and I am suffering acute lethargy. When I've climbed the rocks, what next? xx

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Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 11:36 a.m.

Hi The Gardener... I suppose there is a different perspective from where and when we've climbed the rocks??? I understand acute lethargy. In the midst of it today, not wanting to go forward or to do anything, the thought formed in my mind, "What's good about this situation?" The answers were surprising... xx

Valerie

Nov. 5, 2018, 1:27 p.m.

I used to live near a village called "Wyre Piddle in the Hole".

Valerie

Nov. 5, 2018, 1:28 p.m.

Sorry,this was meant for Gardener.I am lowering the tone with bawdiness x

Ach UK

Nov. 5, 2018, 11:38 a.m.

I was minded of The Beatles Lex ( the long and winding road . . ). A lovely blog from you, in thoughtful mood and I agree with the others; there's usually another way out, lol or of course you can reverse . . Sometimes it's better to wait a while till the way becomes clearer. And sometimes one needs time for acceptance of things gone and changed before the next move. .And even sometimes it's a complete surprise for Recognition of what is needed to dawn on one. ( lol, been there, and it was stressful, but very, very good ) Good to hear you in a better place Lex XX Ach.

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Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 2:47 p.m.

Hi Ach... great choice of track. Are we getting a new road safety or Change Safely Code here? Stop... wait... [press pause]... look all ways... knowing there is always a way... but perhaps not yet... xx

Ach UK

Nov. 5, 2018, 3:27 p.m.

Ha ha Sorry Lex, "Stop, Look, Listen." Perhaps there's a blog in it ? I do believe your picture is reminding me of "Roadrunner" ?? - from the cartoon. XX Ach.

Lex

Nov. 6, 2018, 8:02 a.m.

Beep beep!! xx

LP

Nov. 5, 2018, 11:52 a.m.

Hi Lex, Like Oli, I’m fascinated by language and rules. I’m fascinated by your blog too as may responses are swimming around in my mind. For once I’m not going to try too hard to make sense of them but just throw them into the mix!(many will already have been mentioned). One is, take down to be sign, and go for a walk, it’s just a road. (not meant to be faceacious, just a thought with no agenda attached). Another is follow your gut instincts. Another is don’t! :) Another is, someone put the sign there as a warning to others, so no point in putting yourself through it. Another is a warning yes or maybe a challenge! What would I do? Probably what I want to even if it may not be the best choice. Choose a road that looks safe to me, and most scenic, I can always turn back if I need to. What would I suggest to others? I’d have to explore it them let them know what the deal is so they can make an informed choice I’ve been picking up on your pain too lately Lex. I think I’m in a similar place. I think our situations will get resolved because they’re not working for us, it’s just whether we stay in for the long haul and chip away at it, or do something different. We may wonder why we hadn’t done it sooner. I wouldn’t make any hasty changes while feeling low unless a it’s a real positive opportunity. I’m beginning to allow myself to be open to alternatives, expose myself to more in general rather than sink deeper into an ever decreasing “comfort zone”. Thank you for sharing your journey with us Lex, it helps so much when things resonate. I’ll do a part 2 like TG!

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LP

Nov. 5, 2018, 12:08 p.m.

A couple of related experiences, On holiday I was in the passenger seat of a hire car driving to a recommended beautiful village near the top of a mountain. We came to a partial barrier and warning sign. The road surface stopped, but it looked possible to drive on. We couldn’t see around the corner though. I was inclined to go forward a bit to see what it was like further on. However we did the sensible thing and turned around. 30 seconds later we saw a small on the roadside man under some shade covered in dust indicating to us that it was ok to go on, maybe just a bit bumpy! The whole thing was quite surreal and he definitely had a fairytale quality about him! So we decided to go for it, turned around again and went for it, very slowly. It was indeed possible if not a bit scary, but boy was the trip worth it. The adventure added to the magic of it all too. I guess the same experience could have been described by different people in different ways. The road was the same. Xx

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Rosemary

Nov. 5, 2018, 12:35 p.m.

Oh wow LP, no words ....what an amazingly detailed and exciting reply. Thank you for taking us on your journey x

LP

Nov. 5, 2018, 12:43 p.m.

You’re welcome Rosemary, I actually can’t help myself! :)) xx

Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 2:51 p.m.

Dear LP... that's amazing, and exciting, and honest, and inspiring... all at once! Thank you! And I like what you say about your daughter too. You are writing so well even if you aren't doing so well - and that may be a good sign that positive change is happening - I do hope so xx

LP

Nov. 5, 2018, 3:10 p.m.

Thanks Lex, ditto! Xx

LP

Nov. 5, 2018, 12:36 p.m.

My daughter used to be so worried by having to sit exams that she couldn’t think straight. Especially maths problem solving. She’d always wail ‘I don’t know!” In despair before even reading it properly! I found the post it note that I wrote for her to keep at home to help her get going with the revision. It says 1. “ I don’t know!” 2. Use the key words as a clue about what type of sign ( sum) you need. 3. Write out the sum. 4. Estimate. 5 Show your working out. Hilariously looking back at it, at no point did I write do the sum! :)) I guess it’s a “Feel the fear and do it anyway” idea. Maybe if we know that the bad feeling that comes first is part of the process, it’s easier to get through that bit. Maybe as with a maths problem or a potentially scary path, the fear of the unknown can prevent us going forward. I like to try things, but make sure I can find my way back! Thanks for bearing with, anyone who did! I write more when I’m not doing so well. Wishing you courage strength and sending lots of Moodscope loveliness Lex! :) LP xx

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Rosemary

Nov. 5, 2018, 2:09 p.m.

Still with you LP :) ....hope the writing is helping you feel a little better. x

LP

Nov. 5, 2018, 3:09 p.m.

Yes, thanks Rosemary, it really does as does the reading :) ***

Oli

Nov. 5, 2018, 6 p.m.

@LP, I enjoyed all this. I liked how taking the challenge of the road was important and I'm glad it was rewarding. I think even when it isn't rewarding it's still good to have done the challenge... but it's definitely good when it pans out! And I love the note to your daughter. There is *so* much that's tied up in that seemingly simple experience of an encounter with a maths problem. It reminded me how we like to use simple rules and heuristics whenever possible -- which is great for 2+2 but not so good with "how do I change?". Lovely stuff! x

LP

Nov. 6, 2018, 12:41 a.m.

That’s true. Wanting a simple logical solution or quick fix. Sometimes swing things in parallel terms might shed new light I guess. Yes! Lovely stuff! :) x

Molly

Nov. 5, 2018, 1:31 p.m.

Hi Lex Your photo made me smile, so did Rich's comment lol. I made a big change once, there was a lot of sadness involved but it had to be done I think. I dwell on it sometimes but deep down I know it was the right thing.

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Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 2:52 p.m.

Hi Molly - thanks for parts one and two - feeling very supported today and a little more confident that these changes can swing around for the better... I'll respond more below...

Molly

Nov. 5, 2018, 5:07 p.m.

Xxxx

Nicco

Nov. 5, 2018, 1:36 p.m.

Great blog, Lex, & great pic! Yes, I've found myself down that lane quite often but have generally known the reason. I've often had to retrace my steps after reaching dead ends. It's only afterwards (sometimes many years after) that I realised that the dead ends weren't really dead ends as they, too, we're necessary in order to either teach myself about somethingon life or to use the knowledge I already have/had at that point to help someone else on that same route. I am at a crossroads at the moment - a period where many things in my life are changing - they will change with or without me so i have decisions to make - some are quite uncomfortable & sad so your blog & the posts here have helped. Thank you.

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Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 2:55 p.m.

Hi Nicco, thank you for sharing. It is helpful to know from the posts and the blog that so many of us not only understand but are also going through changes of similar magnitude. There is hope - though it's not always visible. Like Ach's "Long and Winding Road," the hope part is sometimes hidden behind a bend or obscured by the rocks (or hills) that The Gardener has mentioned. May we all get a glimpse of hope soon.

Molly

Nov. 5, 2018, 1:40 p.m.

**** I sent that too soon, never done that before! I used to walk to work every day and had this kind of meditation thing going on. Every road I crossed, every corner I turned and every car that passed me, was a step towards my journey, one way forward to my destination. Of course this was not literal as such but trying to leave the depression and negative thoughts behind. It actually worked and I would turn up at work with a clear (ish) head. I need to apply similar now, as I want to get back to working again, so I will try reaching that destination, with some help along the way on my journey, and avoid the no through road. There has to be a way through! Love to you Lex xx

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Rosemary

Nov. 5, 2018, 2:14 p.m.

There's always a way through Molly x I used to ride bridleway tracks that were overgrown, people used to say "can't get through this one anymore" but I used to smile and say "We will, it'll just take a little longer" Sometimes I had to dismount and lead, pushing things out of the way but very seldom did we have to turn back. The exciting part was exploring a less travelled path with the knowledge that we could always turn back if needed. As you say, every step is a step forward ...whichever ever way we are facing ;) x

Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 2:57 p.m.

Hi Molly, thank you for your support - love to you too AND I really love your one-way-forward approach to get you to your destination. It feels like wading through treacle today but one landmark at a time is working for me xx

Lex

Nov. 5, 2018, 2:58 p.m.

Hi Rosemary, what a great spirit you have! x

Ach UK

Nov. 5, 2018, 3:25 p.m.

Ah, Rosemary, - Robert Frost; "The road not taken". But when I went out hacking on ponies at the local stud . . . The little devils new I wasn't comfortable riding and so on the outward journey they plodded along with 'tethered legs' and homeward was as fast as they dared push behind the stable owners back lol. Definitely the Horses won. My pony riding days only lasted a couple of summers. XX Ach.

Molly

Nov. 5, 2018, 5:03 p.m.

Thank you Rosemary xx and Lex xx

Oli

Nov. 5, 2018, 7:21 p.m.

@Molly, you know my take on it: it may say "no through road" at the moment but roads can be built with astonishing speed. There are really interesting time-lapse videos on YouTube showing roads being built. You see months telescoped into minutes. And you see how it works: machines and men doing the same thing over and over, and over again. A bit of ground gets dug, smoothed, extended. Same thing over and over again. I can't say for you but for me that's truly how it works: I do something which has good evidence for efficacy and I do it over and over again, extending. No different to what you did really. x

Rosemary

Nov. 5, 2018, 8:19 p.m.

Thank you Lex :) One of the legacies I have [hopefully] adopted from my wonderful late Mum. Never known a spirit quite like hers xxxx Haha Ach they certainly do know :-D I have a wonderful picture in mind of you ...riding out thinking "why's the damned handbrake stuck on?" and then returning to "woohoo baby, feel the speed"

Molly

Nov. 6, 2018, 1:26 p.m.

Thank you Oli, you give me some hope, as other moodscopers do, thank you for caring and responding xx Rosemary, I like your comments xx

The Gardener

Nov. 5, 2018, 4:20 p.m.

Ach, I rode a horse that was 'programmed' in the late 1940's. Named Nobby, age unknown. First lesson on a lunge rein. Second lesson sent off on own. The animal walked to the tennis courts on the Village Green, turned, and trotted back -no amount of yelling or kicking could persuade him otherwise. We used to call those horses 'nappy' any other horse people out there?

Reply

Rosemary

Nov. 5, 2018, 8:22 p.m.

Yes Gardener, fellow horse person here :) Oh yes the old 'riding school master' horses who knew the job better than any rider sitting on their backs haha.

The Gardener

Nov. 5, 2018, 4:24 p.m.

I was thinking of a song as a blog theme 'I know where I'm going' used in a 1945 film, sung by Kathleen Ferrier once. Trouble is, I don't - got so much to do, some of it actually interesting - but lost in limbo land - Alice in Wonderland or Dr Who must help. Never been a Dr Who fan, find bits I see of latest positively weird. Or 'back to the future' where a holiday might be on the agenda. Thinking as crazy as my mood. Melancholy? No, November, Ugh. x

Reply

Ach UK

Nov. 5, 2018, 6:32 p.m.

https://youtu.be/x9IoM6cJCbc This might be your song TG. November is dark damp and full of bangs with me today. Can't settle either so turned to Moodscope and got an amuse from Lex. XX Ach.

Lex

Nov. 6, 2018, 8:04 a.m.

Good share, Ach! xx

Liz

Nov. 12, 2018, 9:56 a.m.

Hi Lex... my husband and I decided to move 500 miles away to the Highlands of Scotland from the flat lands of Cambridgeshire. Away from his daughter, all our friends, our joint careers. The only thing we took with us was our two terriers as daught didn't want to come with us (we did ask). It was painful... I mourned close friends and even our previously ready-made social life (we used to go to see local music bands and got to know a lot of the musicians as friends too). I left my successful business behind and it hasn't really taken off much so I had a brief foray into a series of awful minimum wage jobs. But... we have never regretted our decision and would not move back. We wanted a more spiritual way of life. We wanted to be nearer wonderful scenery and nature. We wanted to be near the beach. We wanted to take ourselves away from the rat race and busy busy Cambridgeshire. My husband wanted to not be a Funeral Director for a money-grabbing company (he suffered work related stress for the first time in his life). We wanted to work part-time and be mortgage-free. Yes there are downsides but they are so minor. We've made new friends, I've had some self employment so business is there, albeit on a smaller scale and I do two other part-time caring jobs which I enjoy and which help others. We have a far better house which is detached and nicer neighbours. My mental health has had a few hiccups along the way, particularly in my perception of myself as a previously successful self-employed person... I'm still the same person, just with a few extra attributes that I am making good use of and getting paid for... but the *** of money like a lot of people where we used to live are obsessed with - is not a *** we are interested in. This is only amplified where we live - surrounded by white sands, pine forests, mountains and moors. My inner explorer and nature loving side is fully immersed in this new way of life and my husband has rediscovered his passion for photography. Up here the art scene is thriving and I hope to become more involved with other like-minded souls. We'd only been here on holiday on two occasions and then made this huge decision - which literally took months to do... serendipity calls.

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Lex

Nov. 12, 2018, 12:54 p.m.

Hi Liz, this is simply inspiring... you transported me away to Scotland with your writing. As for that *** of money... yuk! Thank you for sharing in such depth. Serendipity does indeed call... and so gently in her urgency!

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