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Make someone smile. Sunday January 26, 2014

When was the last time you complimented someone? I'm guessing you can't remember. I certainly can't!

I do remember the last time someone complimented me though. A friend told me she loved my shoes, and I felt a little burst of appreciation, my self worth swelled for that moment and I felt good about myself.

What does this tell us? Well, it shows that what we say makes a difference to others, and just one little word can have a monumental impact. And the other good news is that making someone feels good gives us a buzz.

So, with just one thoughtful comment, you have brightened two lives.

How much effort does it really take to start noticing the beauty in those around us? And (another plus!) this makes us all the more 'mindful'. Yes, it's that ever more frequently used word which represents our all important 'wellness'.

So, in an effort to take some of my own advice, today I really noticed the things I love about those special people in my life. And also, special things in people I know less well - I hugged a surprised colleague and told him I had missed him over Christmas. I took a snap of my boyfriend and my cat cuddling in bed this morning and showed him just how adorable he looked with his sleepy eyes. I told my friend how much I liked her coat, and how it made her eyes sparkle.

These compliments touched others lives, made me feel good about saying them and notice the things I'm grateful for. If that's not 'mindfulness', I don't know what is.

It doesn't take much to make someone smile.

A Moodscope user.

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PWD Sun, Jan 26th 2014 @ 8:20am

Nice positive start to the day reading that post, Well written Beth your a star thats my first compliment.


Christine Sun, Jan 26th 2014 @ 9:55am

My life seems to be going to hell in a hand basket. Most of the time I can scarcely lift my head above the parapet, and most of the time all I want to be is dead.
However, a long time ago - longer than I can remember - I decided that just because my own life is a mess beyond resolving, that did not mean others had to suffer as a result. So at every opportunity, I do compliment people. Mostly they are strangers, mostly they are women and men who have grim faces, clearly just about hanging on; busy beyond the telling.
I approach them, calling softly, "Excuse me, I hope you don't mind me saying this to you today, but I think you look absolutely lovely. The clothes you are wearing suit you just perfectly. And you look great!"
Mostly people look a bit non-plussed as they interpret what I've said to them, then a giant grin spreads across their face and they beam at me and say simply "Thank you!"
Sometimes a longer conversation happens; they tell me they are recovering from the death of a loved one or an illness or they Just Felt Like Dressing Up - Damn it! A few people have given me the history of that particular outfit
And always we have parted smiling.
My partner and others I am with have got used to me doing this; it has become increasingly difficult as my own mobility decreases....sometimes my wheelchair has to be pushed at full pelt along a road so I can catch up with someone I wish to compliment....but, trust me, it is Always Worth It.
So, thank you Beth, for drawing our attention to this Mindfulness Sharing this incredibly wet morning in Wales.

The Entertrainer Sun, Jan 26th 2014 @ 11:42am

Great blogpost today, Beth.
I believe so much in what you are saying that I started printing my own currency! This is because I believe that giving someone else positive attention is a "life-currency" - an exchange that enables us to transact smoothly and beautifully with one another.
A common issue I've come up against is people not being able to take a compliment! So, when someone pays me a compliment, I say thank you, and I don't discount it (by minimising myself). For example, if I compliment a friend on what they are wearing, they will often discount this by saying, "Oh, this old thing? I've had it for years..."
That's a bad habit to get into.
In my mind at least, when I'm complimented, I add another positive in my thoughts.
So, if someone likes my shirt, I might think to myself, "good choice, Lex, and your choice of jacket was a good one too!"
This is totally against my natural inclinaiton and programming... and I don't often say it out loud because it sounds arrogant. It is, however, useful in breaking my own negative programmed patterns of putting myself down or holding myself in low esteem.

vonnie Sun, Jan 26th 2014 @ 12:23pm

simple things: - I always compliment shopgirls on their brightly painted fingernails you
get a great smile : AND I always say 'thanks' to the bus driver when I stamp my pass - it's a very difficult job and we should be thankful !

Julia Sun, Jan 26th 2014 @ 12:45pm

What a great idea Lex. (and you made me laugh). My son had an American girlfriend once who always took compliments well. Her lovely Southern States American accent helped and she would say .."Why thank you, that's so kind" Her emphasis would be on the "thank" and she would look at me firmly in the eye as she was saying it.The exchange was over in a few seconds but the way she accepted it seemed totally objective. I now try to copy this reply if ever I am complimented. I shall also think, yes quite right and I look so young too! (Lex style)

Anonymous Mon, Jan 27th 2014 @ 10:06am

I give out complements as much as possible or mearly smile at others. I've never had a bad response, sometine a bit quizzical but overall positive. Recieving compliments however was more difficult and always justifyed one by adding a negative, 'this is my daughters' 'got it from a charity shop', but with effort I now accept these. Simply in dfoing this elevates my mood and makes me think 'because I'm worth it'!!

Anonymous Mon, Jan 27th 2014 @ 10:44am

Ahhh great blog, I have a big problem with taking compliments really struggle, they add to making me self concious but of late I have tried to just accept comments gracefully and I always make huge effort of compliment others , amazing how far kindness can carry you through the day. Thanks for this post - its really good reminder that i should not process a compliment negatively ! Awesome thanks

moonstonebright Mon, Jan 27th 2014 @ 4:29pm

Hi Beth, I unfortunately find the opposite, I give my friends compliments regularly and it seems to be appreciated, I told a friend today I liked her hair for example which she smiled and said she was pleased I like it. It's compliments to me that I really don't receive very often at all. I keep myself clean and tidy but when I have my hair cut sometimes quite a big difference for example, nobody says anything. I try to always look nice but again people don't say anything to me. Maybe I look horrible? Maybe I do smell? I know people don't have to notice and compliment you all the time, but I get so hurt nobody says nice things to or about me. What am I doing wrong?

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