Saturday February 15, 2020

I long for the warm embrace of another not only physically but emotionally as well. I desire the distant feeling and vague memory of waking up on a weekend next to the one I truly love and care for, after being able to sleep in after a long work week. Sun shining through the window, my arm around her, feeling her skin against mine. Those feelings, those moments in time, they give you something only true love can give.

Once that person or that love is gone, nothing is the same. Nothing can replace those feelings. Love is most certainly a drug and a very powerful and a scarce one. Once you have it hold on to it, because you may not find it again - it's not just something you can buy on the streets.

I will never forget those little moments that warm your heart. It's not the things we plan to do, just the things that happen while doing other things, such as seeing their love for you when you lock eyes during significant moments. I miss making love, I miss passion. Sex is far different than making love. I don't care about sex, I want the passion, I want the love. I want the moments when she'd lay her head on my chest while I ran my fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead. These are moments and experiences that gave my life meaning and without them life is nothing and is a constant feeling of emptiness.

I've forgotten how to be happy without these things and I haven't had them in four years.

Every night when I lay in bed I can feel the emptiness I can feel, how hallow my heart is.

A Moodscope member.

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