Living with the tough stuff.

5 Feb 2016

This morning (whilst in the bath) I was thinking how utterly British I am. At Christmas I wrote the cheeriest round robin describing all the positive things that happened in 2015. I completely downplayed the fact that I spent three weeks last February having been rushed to A and E with a stomach problem. My Facebook page exudes positivity - and I positively dislike those posts where people put down how annoyed, angry or sad they are.

In fact, I came to the conclusion that I should be awarded a doctorate in CBT, just for effort alone. However, there is a problem with this. Now I'm not knocking the power of positivity, nor CBT, which many people find helpful, but what do you do with those more uncomfortable feelings, like anger, sadness, guilt or jealousy?

It's only as an adult that I have realised that it's ok to be angry. How much depression could I have avoided if only I had realised that earlier? Last month I was very angry about something that happened to one of my clients at work, but actually it was right to be angry and although I couldn't do a lot about it, I reported the situation to my CEO who has blogged about the issue in the national news. This client had been treated appallingly and I was right to be angry on her behalf.

Occasionally in complete frustration with my kids I have stormed off for a five minute walk around the estate where I live - it's given me breathing time to stop myself totally blowing a gasket!!

It's taken me 44 years to realise that it's ok to feel negative emotions, that they are, after all, just part of being human and that pushing them away or ignoring them does not help at all.

I recently came across a wonderful little video about dealing with difficult feelings on Vimeo designed for children. Check out 'A Curious Look' by Helena Cameron.

How are you feeling today? If you're not feeling good, ask yourself why. Are you, like me, trying to be terribly British and ignore those negative feelings? Own them, feel them and see what you can learn from them.


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