Living or hoping, dying or coping?

Thursday August 14, 2014

I'm reviving again
Releasing the pain.
Coming up for air,
Letting go the despair.

Seeing the light,
After months of night.
After turning the tide,
In seas of suicide.

I can wake and be calm,
No longer with alarm.
I can relax in the shower,
From which I would cower.

I can go and buy food,
Not hide in a mood.
I can answer the phone,
Not just be alone.

I am free to read,
Not just a TV 'need'.
I can open my emails,
Without 'reading' my entrails.
I can go in the garden,
Without waiting for Aladdin.

As I lost my mind,
Mental thoughts so unkind.
I can go out with friends,
And think it's the end.

I can think ahead,
And find ways to be dead.
I can drive on the road,
And look for heavy loads.

I cross the rail junction,
Unable to function.
I look at the train,
That would end my reign,
In this disturbed world,
Pain bare and unfurled.

I can't go to meetings,
Traumatised with feelings.
I can't eat a meal,
Without needing to reveal,
That I'm dying inside,
I no longer have pride.
I'm a burden to anyone,
My heart weighs one ton.

So where are you,
On what is so true,
For many who live,
That need to forgive?
Themselves and their lives,
The husbands and wives.
The girls and the boys,
Lost and so coy.
Who can live out of sight,
Not showing how slight.
The difference can be,
Between thee and me?

A Moodscope member.


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