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Living in the moment... Sunday July 19, 2015

"You only live happily ever after, on a day to day basis."

Look at any religion, any peace-developing meditation or mindfulness, numerous self-help books and DVDs and one of the key 'lessons', is the ability to live in the moment and make decisions based on your inner values, without any need to be attached to the outcome.

As soon as we are attached to the outcome (more power, money, 'things', influence or control) we leave the 'we' (selfless) behind and only focus on the 'me' (selfish)!

When we are attached in this way, we have moved from the society-building and moral foundations of creating a better society. In this move, 'debate' happens - where the one with the best IQ mind can easily win over the best wise heart, rather than 'dialogue' where a common agreed purpose is reached through words.

The best big examples for me of this is the plight of the American Indians or Australian Aborigines or the supposed Christian crusades!

I'm sure you could identify many, many examples from your own life of attachment to outcomes, both concerning others and hopefully yourself if you are still developing and growing, as you awaken to a greater self-awareness of the fact that we are all connected.

If we wish to reduce our own internal stresses, which lead mostly to external stresses in families, relationships, teams and organisations, we are reminded in mindfulness and meditative practices – that the only time is now – here – this moment.

Eckhart Tolle's wonderful book 'The Power of Now' can be an entry into this world - moving away from short term, often ego-driven Newtonian, IQ thinking and pressures.

How can we actually be ourselves and emit our true values and spirit, if we are attached to a certain outcome – rather than being an open and authentic human being who is more than happy to give up their own 'beliefs' for something that sounds or more importantly feels better?

The level of attachment will be aligned and entirely equal to the height of the wall that we build to defend our own position. A 'war' of words can ensue with statements and phrases 'shot' from either side of the wall or more than likely, from the different sides of the table.

First rule of any tough meeting - only round tables. The American Indians and Aborigines of course sat in a circle around camp fires. Try getting that into most Bored rooms...oops I mean Board rooms...or even the CEOs office!!!

A 'them and us' position is sometimes created before we even open our mouths.

So, What are you attached to today? What can you let go of? How can you 'round' off any debate into a dialogue today for a win/win to improve society?

A Moodscope member.

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Di Murphey Sun, Jul 19th 2015 @ 6:26am

Dearest Les ~
As a First Nation Cherokee, I am honored to read to your excellent post about living in the moment. (It is our belief that if one has even one drop of First Nation blood, then one is First Nation.)

It is my belief that we can never truly own parts of earth ~ we are charged to take care of it for the next seven generations. In this way, we make our lives in service for the betterment of humankind.

Though I am not always successful, I struggle mightily to live as though today is the first day of my life as well as the last day of my life. I am grateful for your words of encouragement to our world. I am grateful for this community.
Fawn Rising (Di)

curious212000 Sun, Jul 19th 2015 @ 6:51am

Hello Les,

Very well posted, we are here for just a small period of time .

We are here today gone tomorrow so make the best of it,life is not a dress rehearsal.

Kind regards, David

Julia Sun, Jul 19th 2015 @ 11:53am

Hi Les. I've read your blog today twice and certain bits more than twice. This is because I knew there would be something in there for me which might not be obvious at first. I sometime query this "power of now" which seems so popular these days, since nothing actually happens. "Now" seems to me to be a vacuum when we do nothing. (Maybe that's the point!) But I see from your blog that you mean not approaching a meeting or social event by worrying about how we will affect the outcome and I can see how this might work for me today. I am meeting family this afternoon and already am worrying about how it will go. It all depends on how I come across and today I'm not at my best. But from what you say I should just "be" there amongst the other people and "be" there each moment rather than concentrating on how my demeanour or conversation or lack of it is going to affect the overall outcome. Thanks Les I am going to try it!

Anonymous Sun, Jul 19th 2015 @ 12:41pm

Sounds perfect, Julia. Open your heart and just 'be there', observe and the words will come to you when needed. It's the feeling that will be communicated to your family. Good luck with it! susan xx

Anonymous Sun, Jul 19th 2015 @ 12:46pm

Hi Les, another great blog. The 'now' is our only refuge and i also know that it's the place from which all healing comes. And so much communication between people is done on a very subtle level that registers feelings (as you described so well in a previous blog) and expectations, animosities, ulterior motives, etc. 'Bored rooms' teeeee heeee. Thanks again. susan xx

Julia Sun, Jul 19th 2015 @ 1:08pm

Thank you Susan. Just what I need to hear right now. xx

Anonymous Sun, Jul 19th 2015 @ 5:44pm

Good luck Julia; hope it goes well.
Wishing you peace of mind and heart.

Anonymous Sun, Jul 19th 2015 @ 5:47pm

Hi Les;
Thank-you for this; a timely reminder of "The Power of Now" which I read earlier this year and loved;
timely since we leave for a five week holiday in France this week; so plenty of opportunities to put Tolle's wisdom into practice!
Sending you big grins from a sunny, if windswept Dorset;

Anonymous Sun, Jul 19th 2015 @ 6:16pm

Oh dear Les. I failed again. All this stuff is so confusing. I keep trying and I do keep learning. But I'm not good at it. It is all so very 'clever' but so removed from what we learn in life. The now is not the now I thought it was. The self is not the self I thought it was. The Being not the one I thought....It goes on. I never cease to be impressed by the heart and compassion of Moodscopers and their knowledge of all this stuff. A new language, new thoughts, new lostness.

curious212000 Sun, Jul 19th 2015 @ 7:11pm

Dear Julia,

I hope your family meeting went okay but recommend you see a specilist to resolve your problems.

The comments here are mainly from anonymous bloggers and should not be followed without professional advice.

Hope this helps,

Kind regards,

David Gosling.

Anonymous Sun, Jul 19th 2015 @ 7:24pm


Julia Sun, Jul 19th 2015 @ 8:19pm

I have just lost a long reply to you David. Aaaargh! Moodscope has benefitted me enormously, far more than any specialist. This is not to say specialists do not help anyone. But for me, the help, advice and friendship I have received over the years from Moodscope bloggers and commentators has helped me get to the happier place I am now. I am sure you mean well David..well I like to think you do, but your comment was totally wrong and rather silly may I say particularly in this context. You got it wrong! Thank you to Les, Frankie and Susan for helping me today to get through what would have been a difficult afternoon. All it took was a few words from you, no long counselling session and Instead it turned out well.

Anonymous Sun, Jul 19th 2015 @ 8:19pm

Crazeee. David Gosling?

Caroline Ashcroft Sun, Jul 19th 2015 @ 11:24pm

Hi David, I totally understand you recommending a specialist to solve someone's problems and I'm sure Julia would if she felt she needed to. I also agree that no comment or recommendation should be followed without professional advice. What I would say though is that apart from one, all the comments are from members who regularly contribute, they are not anonymous as they sign off with their names and having been members and contributors for quite a while, they know, at least to some extent how Julia is really feeling and are in a position to give some advice/support. Thank you for bringing this point up as it is important.

Les Mon, Jul 20th 2015 @ 1:03am

Hi David

I'll possibly be more blunt than others........

The day 'experts' think they have the right in their Newtonian IQ Process, Procedure, Policy and Programme world to warn others in an EQ caring and sharing People community of real 'experts' (people who have gone through the things people talk about and survived) - as tho they are superior and the only way - is a sad sad day.

My personal experience of 'professionals' is dreadful (in the area of mental health - the real Cinderella service in the NHS)) my experience 90% were self interested, cold and chemically focussed people who carry out a job rather than follow a passion or personal interest.

The key difference between you and I, is that I would ask people to look at various options and decide for themselves (or if unable personally, through caring friends) decide what road they want to go down.

When I was in the psychiatric ward for instance - the only real driver - was that I did not commit suicide on their watch!

Zero compassion.

So yes - while in many instances it may well be beneficial to consult a professional (if you have the money) as often it takes far too long in the NHS in respect of mental health (often 6 months for me) the only real expert in the end - if it is to be sustainable change - needs to be the person themselves, through whoever possible.

To have to always see a specialist to have to 'solve your problems' as always, to look through a very narrow and brittle lens of expertise and isolationism - when we actually require to look at the bigger and more complete picture about you as a Person and not you as a Project. It also makes us totally dependent and less self aware and independent.

And for sure it may certainly will not if it is someone who believes that it is the ONLY way - which says more about their 'schooling' (not education) than it does about the person themselves.

And for many of us on Moodscope....who have gone through similar things ourselves and come out the other demeen us, shows how unprofessional 'experts' can be!

If you offered that to add to what people were writing they may wish to see a specialist in a certain area - fine.

But that elitist intellectual attitude is what is enabling sites like Moodscope and many others to flourish and grow......people on here care more about the Person than any 'expert', Process.

Quite happy to have a dialogue around this if you wish - if so email Caroline for my non--anonymous email address.

Les Mon, Jul 20th 2015 @ 1:06am

Hi Di

Fab stuff.................thanks for your input as always.

Les Mon, Jul 20th 2015 @ 1:07am

Hi David


Les Mon, Jul 20th 2015 @ 1:08am

Hi Julia

Let us know how it goes............

Les Mon, Jul 20th 2015 @ 1:09am

Thanks Susan

Les Mon, Jul 20th 2015 @ 1:11am

Hi Frankie

Enjoy France and maybe write a blog about how your holiday goes in relations to 'now'...............?

Les Mon, Jul 20th 2015 @ 1:14am

Hi Anon

Good luck on your journey of personal development and learning........

curious212000 Mon, Jul 20th 2015 @ 6:15am

Be as blunt as you want!

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