Letter to my alcoholic sister. Friday April 28, 2017
You are breaking my heart;
I see you abusing yourself with alcohol and prescription medicines, unable to engage with any of us or with life in any meaningful way. When you are sober, you become paranoid, creating confusion and chaos around you, upsetting us, playing the "Poor me" card, making ridiculous claims and demands, bad-mouthing us...
Where is the charming, witty, talented, generous, caring sister we knew, admired and loved? We see her so very rarely these days...
Yes, my heart is breaking; I try to make contact with you and you reject my attempts.
Meanwhile we continue dealing with the deaths of Mum and beloved auntie,
sorting through their things, getting their properties ready for selling and you...?
You drink yourself into oblivion, holding us all up, trying to play us off against each other; when sober you create problems with the neighbours, and try to undo everything we have achieved.
What gives you the right:
• to "opt out" of the situation?
• to sabotage our attempts to deal with the realities of two properties to clear
and sell, two estates to wind up?
• to act like a spoilt child with your "Poor me" claims?
• and then to claim that you were "there" for Mum and auntie when in reality you
weren't, whilst we were, week after exhausting, distressing week throughout 2016.
When do we get to act the child?
• to sob our hearts out for losing both Mum and auntie within two months?
• to turn our backs on what is happening?
• to stamp our feet and shout "It's not fair" like you are doing?
And the more often you behave badly, the more determined we become to restrict our contact with you.
And that breaks my heart even more; not only have I lost Mum and auntie, now I am losing you as well – to your addictions and to your denial that you have a problem.
No-one is more determined than you; why, oh why can't you harness that determination and tackle your issues? Why do you continue denying the reality of your situation; refusing all help that is offered to you? Discharging yourself time and again from hospital against all professional advice?
I love you.
You are breaking my heart.
For my own sanity I cannot keep on like this – forever hoping that you will change your ways.
This is good-bye...
So, lovely Moodscopers; dare I send this?
A Moodscope member.
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